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im trYINGGGG im just 14 i feel so stressful everyday i dont wanna live unhappy all my life

I just can’t help it. And you would think I’d be able to stop considering how much worse it makes me feel. I have Pains that come and go in my head. They are not stabbing that are just there. Sometimes they last all days sometimes they last 1 second and come and go throughout the day. The last few days oven been scared of brain tumors. So i looked it up again. And it says less than 1% of population develop cancerous tumors. However then i got reading about aneurysms. And it says that most people die within the first 25 minutes after a ruptured aneurysm. What the heck?!! What if i secretly have one? It says that aneurysm headaches are stabbing worst pain you could ever feel which my headaches are not. But what if i secretly have an aneurysm. It says they are caused by High blood pressure. Which i tend to have every time i go to Doctors ( i thought it was nerves, anxiety, being obese). What if i just wake up i. The middle of a night with a headache that brings me to my knees and it’s a ruptured aneurysm?? I’m more scared about this than a brain tumor. What am i doing to myself? Please help 😭😭😭

I need some advice please ! Me and my fiancée have been together for a while now , i know I really love him that’s not the issue. But I don’t feel a strong chemistry , i used to see this as a big deal, it doesn’t bother me so much now cause we’re very attached to each other and have formed a deep bond. Pretty much 90% of advice I read online says to end the relationship if you have doubts or if the chemistry is not there. I don’t know how to feel about these comments , they really trigger me. I haven’t felt butterflies or the ‘spark’ that I have felt with some past people but I do feel more In love with him than I have with anyone else. It’s really bothering me because on Quora pretty much every comment is basically saying the relationship will fail ?:(

People have blocked me on here… I feel alone on the app… I feel isolated… I’m just tired of it all… What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 and I get intrusive thoughts of people calling me a P and a chomo and me getting arrested… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo… the real events happened only 3 times and I really didn’t know how horrible it was… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to ever be attracted to or harm kids in any way… 😭😭😭  It’s making me feel like I know I’m a P or a chomo when I don't ever want to ever be those things… I perform avoidance compulsions all the time and I don’t want to be anywhere around kids… even accidentally standing next to one makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and anxious… it’s making me feel like that I know I’m what my POCD and real events OCD are telling me even when a former ocd psychiatrist has told me that the real events don’t make me a P or a chomo… In addition it’s making me feel like I’m what my ocd tells me that I am… I didn’t know how horrible the real events were at the time when I was 13… I really didn’t… my POCD and real events OCD keeps calling me a P and a Chomo for what happened when I was 13 when I didn’t know what any of that stuff was… I truly didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t…  It’s making me think I am a rapist because of the real events too… my POCD just keeps telling me that I’m a P or a chomo or in worst case a child r*pist when I don’t ever want to ever be those things in any way 😭😭😭 it’s giving me intrusive thoughts about more details of the real events and this feeling in my head that hurts…  I don’t ever want to ever be a p or a chomo in any way… I don’t ever want to harm anyone, especially children… I don’t ever want to ever be anything my intrusive thoughts tell me I am…

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 and I get intrusive thoughts of people calling me a P and a chomo and me getting arrested… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo… the real events happened only 3 times and I really didn’t know how horrible it was… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to ever be attracted to or harm kids in any way… 😭😭😭  It’s making me feel like I know I’m a P or a chomo when I don't ever want to ever be those things… I perform avoidance compulsions all the time and I don’t want to be anywhere around kids… even accidentally standing next to one makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and anxious… it’s making me feel like that I know I’m what my POCD and real events OCD are telling me even when a former ocd psychiatrist has told me that the real events don’t make me a P or a chomo… In addition it’s making me feel like I’m what my ocd tells me that I am… I didn’t know how horrible the real events were at the time when I was 13… I really didn’t… my POCD and real events OCD keeps calling me a P and a Chomo for what happened when I was 13 when I didn’t know what any of that stuff was… I truly didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t…  It’s making me think I am a rapist because of the real events too… my POCD just keeps telling me that I’m a P or a chomo or in worst case a child r*pist when I don’t ever want to ever be those things in any way 😭😭😭 it’s giving me intrusive thoughts about more details of the real events and this feeling in my head that hurts…  I don’t ever want to ever be a p or a chomo in any way… I don’t ever want to harm anyone, especially children… I don’t ever want to ever be anything my intrusive thoughts tell me I am…   Part 2. I am awake in the late night as I type all of this out.. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for the past masturbation to loli hentai and other explicit comics / fanfics with adult and really young cartoon characters couple of times unknowingly when I was 12, and 14 and occasionally unknowingly when I was 17-18. (Ex. Marge and Lisa) I had stopped three years ago, and I'm 20 now but I'm getting intrusive memories of doing it and I immensely regret it and feel triggered by it… I didn't know what the content was in any way at the time or what it represented… and while I avoided most of the content, the videos of them had millions of views, both the videos and the fanfics / comics were on public sites, and some of the creators said they were 18 in some of the videos, so I thought it was safe to watch... I hate myself forever. And you people should hate me too. I'm worthless. I'm a disgusting creature who deserves nothing but the upmost anger and disgust from you all….. god help me.…. just recently I was watching hentai for the first time in a while, hoping to find regular stuff with women my age or above and I kept stumbling onto loli again. I got triggered and I left the videos immediately of course, but it's giving me memories back to those moments and it's making me feel like I want to watch when I dont. I skipped it of course. I hate this POCD (if this is even POCD) and I hate myself and you should hate me too… It’s making me feel like I’m not anxious about the real event OCD intrusive thoughts right now and more intrusive thoughts of being in denial because of the lack of anxious feelings… 😞😞😞 I know the real events (especially the real events when I was 13) that trigger my real event OCD were horrible and I regret them horribly… and my POCD and real event OCD is telling me that I’m a P and a m*lestor and making me feel like I’m accepting it… plus my intrusive thoughts are giving me false memories of either events that didn’t happen or my intentions during the event and saying that I’m worse than a p or a chomo… 😭😭😭 I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo or anything like that in any way… my POCD just keeps telling me that I’m a P or a chomo or in worst case a child r*pist when I don’t ever want to ever be those things in any way 😭😭😭 it’s giving me intrusive thoughts about more details of the real events and this feeling in my head that hurts…  I don’t ever want to ever be a p or a chomo in any way… I don’t ever want to harm anyone, especially children… I don’t ever want to ever be anything my intrusive thoughts tell me I am…

It’s been years and I mean YEARS since me and emotionally unavailable/emotionally abusive ex broke up yet everytime or here and there at least he crosses my mind when I meet someone new or just at random. Is this a trauma response? It even has me wondering if I was in the wrong. I don’t think it’s me wanting to be with him because the thought of him actually repulses me yet won’t go away and it’s making me think I’m to blame for being without him. I met a really nice guy but I nitpick guys and look for perfection when there’s no such thing and the emotionally abusive person was never perfect and was actually a bum so idk if that has anything to do with It either

I am in the process of leaving a toxic work environment. I believe this is adding to the stress levels from the ocd I deal with on the daily. I’m currently sitting at my desk patiently waiting for a call back from any one of the multiple places I applied to. I am doing my best not to engage with the ROCD and the pure ocd. But today I just feel so outside of myself. I hate this feeling of constant nagging anxiety. It just makes me feel so lost. All I want is to be with my boyfriend but then at the same time that I find comfort in him I feel massive guilt from the ROCD intrusive thoughts and all of the excessive doubts and questioning that comes with it. Some days I’m perfectly fine and then there are days like this where I can’t focus on anything but the anxiety. I love him. I want to be fully committed to one person. I wish I knew why ocd attacks everything I care about the most and makes me question everything in my life. Then the added stress of what work life has been bringing has been making matters worse. It just makes me want to curl up in a ball. I want to finally feel like I belong somewhere at work and not struggle. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. I just want to be with him. I wish my ocd would leave me alone.

Can anyone relate?? My worst fear is seizure/brain tumor/ cancerous. I know that one of the symptoms of a seizure is deja vu so for the last few days my mind has literally said “what if you’ve been in this situation before” and so now I’m on edge every minute of the day because i think it’s deja vu. But last night was way more scary. I literally had a moment where it felt like real deja vu but i don’t even know what it was about. And i keep ruminating on it. Like i literally have no idea what happened but it was beyond scary. And then usually sleeping is my safe space because i can escape my mind. But last night i woke up in the middle of the night with anxiety and the right side of head and back of head had a sensation. It’s not like i woke up out of my sleep because of a severe headache because honestly it didn’t really hurt it was more of a sensation. And so now I’m completely freaking out even more than before 😭 has anyone ever dealt with this before? Deja vu? Head sensation?

I… I don’t have ROCD anymore… 😰💔 I want this to be bc I want relief! Not that I have reasons to break up.. 💔

No one responds to me anymore… 😞😞

I feel like no one actually cares about me… I have no friends in my college… Im stressed between work and college… I have POCD, real events OCD that’s connected to POCD and HOCD, and HOCD that’s making it feel so real… I feel like no one just cares about me at all… even on the community tab… I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 and I get intrusive thoughts of people calling me a P and a chomo and me getting arrested… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo… the real events happened only 3 times and I really didn’t know how horrible it was… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to ever be attracted to or harm kids in any way… 😭😭😭  It’s making me feel like I know I’m a P or a chomo when I don't ever want to ever be those things… I perform avoidance compulsions all the time and I don’t want to be anywhere around kids… even accidentally standing next to one makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and anxious… it’s making me feel like that I know I’m what my POCD and real events OCD are telling me even when a former ocd psychiatrist has told me that the real events don’t make me a P or a chomo… In addition it’s making me feel like I’m what my ocd tells me that I am… I didn’t know how horrible the real events were at the time when I was 13… I really didn’t… my POCD and real events OCD keeps calling me a P and a Chomo for what happened when I was 13 when I didn’t know what any of that stuff was… I truly didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t…  It’s making me think I am a rapist because of the real events too… my POCD just keeps telling me that I’m a P or a chomo or in worst case a child r*pist when I don’t ever want to ever be those things in any way 😭😭😭 it’s giving me intrusive thoughts about more details of the real events and this feeling in my head that hurts…  I don’t ever want to ever be a p or a chomo in any way… I don’t ever want to harm anyone, especially children… I don’t ever want to ever be anything my intrusive thoughts tell me I am…

i had these red spots on my leg and i made the mistake of googling it. now i’m terrified i have leukaemia. i went to the doctors and showed her a picture but i felt like she dismissed it quickly so it didn’t give me peace of mind. now i’m having the worst anxiety ever over it. i can’t focus, i have headaches, my knee has been hurting so much and my muscles feel tense. i know they can also be symptoms of anxiety but im scared it’s cancer and i’ve been failing classes because i can’t stop thinking about it. i constantly check the symptoms of leukaemia online and check if i have them. i’m trying to make another appointment with my doctor but she’s not the most caring doctor so i just feel annoying and crazy.

My real events OCD connected to POCD based on extremely horrible events when I was 13 were truly extremely horrible… and I didn’t even know how horrible it was till I was 20… I hate my life… I don’t ever want to ever be a P, a chomo, or a child r*pist… I truly didn’t know how horrible the real events were…

Is anyone feeling down or sad?

All can be approximate times How long does it take for the ocd tools to work for you like Acceptance,uncertainty,mindfulness,self compassion ex? How long did it take for you to stop compulsions? How long did it take for ERP to get easier?

Does anyone feel like they have to confess everything of their past to there partner and more recently it’s been intrusive thoughts. Needing or feeling like I have to confess.? I feel guilty if I don’t or feel like I am hiding something from him. I hate this feeling?! How do I get thru this?

i need help someone. i feel like i’m dying right now, my thoughts came today, and it was going good, till it got triggered by me like kinda laughing at something that wasn’t laughing, which lead me to researching, and that lead me to reading about serial killers and what they had. turns out i feel like everything they were diagnosed with is just similar things i feel like i deal with, i feel lost, i feel stuck, i’m scared, please someone help. i’m scared :( supposedly something i deal with makes it more likely to be a serial killer. 🥲

I no longer get reactions to testing my feelings… Right now I am just sitting here thinking have I ever been truly happy with him? Do I actually just wanna break up?… I am sitting here believing I don’t love him romantically anymore thinking I am only with him to avoid hurting him… that deep down I know I don’t love him anymore… that I don’t wanna admit it.. that’s all I am thinking about… I am worried I don’t love him enough to move forward with him… 💔😢 I love him a lot I really do and just sitting with theses feelings are difficult enough. It’s affecting my work performance since I always walk off and hide. To read about ROCD. I even had my hours cut short so I don’t have to be there long like this. But I think I just hate my job to be honest… it’s burning me out… so I think I need a new one… I just don’t know what to do… I don’t wanna break up with him but then this thought comes in and makes me think I am with him for the wrong reasons. Can’t have sex as much as I would want to bc then I think I am not attracted to him enough… I still touch him but then I stop… My 12 year relationship is gonna die… how can I sit here and let this feeling pass…

My mental illness is getting so bad... Should I end my university? It makes no sense anymore...can't concentrate on nothing It makes me just more nervous...

Hello. I want to say something that has been on my mind for a while and bugging me. I am afraid of the outcome but I think I need to know this. I have had OCD almost my entire life. But here comes something I wanted to hide from this community. *I'm an Iranian girl and I live in Iran & I have OCD* Does the fact that I am Iranian makes you feel differently about me? Do you still or can see me as part of your community? Can I be Iranian and have the same compassion from you and be accepted as a member like others? Or because of my country, I can't be accepted here? I want to feel belonged to a community for who I am. So I need to know that. Feel free to tell me anything you think.♥️