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can ocd compulsions be violent? cause i have this feeling like i NEED to do it but i’m getting really anxious

Say if it’s actually true? It feels like I know what it feels like to do that and that when I imagined it that I liked the feeling of doing that, it feels so real and I’m scared, I said to my mum what if it’s the case that I’m a good person but I imagined how it would feel to do that horrible thing in the thought and now I like the feeling but have a conscious and she said ‘why would you like the feeling’ and then I just start feeling hopeless and asking myself why does it feel like that?? I’m constantly crying but why does it feel so real that I ‘like the feeling’ of doing that, it’s really scary, I’m miserable 24/7. It’s like before the intrusive thought we’re just horrible images of me doing something bad but now it feels like instead of thoughts it’s a feeling? Like I have this what feels like a millisecond feeling where I have an intrusive feeling of what it would feel like to do that horrible thing? Is that possible? Has anyone else had that? But it’s weird because these thoughts do give me anxiety and when they are trying to come on I get anxiety at the thought of having them and sometimes I pull these faces like scrunch my nose to try and ‘deter’ the thoughts, it does seem to work though because when I do that nose scrunch thing when a thought is trying to come on it helps me to detect the thought and I get alarmed so I don’t engage with it. How can I get anxiety over something but at them same time it really feel like I want to or liked the feeling of doing that? I was talking to my mum and we were saying maybe its not that I liked the feeling of doing that in the thought maybe its that because I imagined giving in to something that’s been bothering me for so long it felt like ‘i liked the feeling of doing that’ but obviously I don’t like it because I’m not a bad person so that’s why I start crying two seconds later but my head starts scaring me like I was trying to forget all about this and I was dancing to music, and the whole time I’m dancing I start having a debate in my head and then my head starts scaring me it’s really latched onto this confused feeling of ‘I liked the feeling of imagining doing that’ and scares me in the middle of dancing, I started thinking ‘things were so much better in the summer’ ‘I wish it was summer’ and then boom ‘imagined a scenario where it’s hot and I’m agitated by the heat and I suddenly do that horrible thing’ like what the hell?? ‘What if it feels like a relief to do that’ and I just stop dancing and start questioning myself and feeling like crap. When I’m feel bad I want to ask my mum for advice but while I’m sat there talking to her I’m worried I’m a danger or I’m having evil desires and it’s just scary. I’m worried what if I’m young now (19) and I’m worried I liked the feeling of imagining doing that evil thing , what if this like the beginning of me turning into one of those evil people who have evil desires, I don’t know what to do im just lost and worried

Is it normal to be having intrusive thoughts about my relationship/partner 24/7? It started about 1 month or so ago there’s been days where it wasn’t so intense and for the past week or so it’s gotten so so bad I have it from the minute I wake up until I fall asleep.They feel so real I’m convinced the thoughts are real now I’m actually going insane and getting suicidal thoughts over it.Idk what to do I’ve no one to talk to about it.

Should I be worried about the risks of something happening being 1 in a million? What is an acceptable risk to be concerned with? I always feel like I’ll be the 1 out of 1000 or 1 out of 100,000 for something rare to happen to me. It’s hard for me to tell if it’s my OCD or if something is a normal, acceptable risk.

So we are told that OCD is not about figuring out the difference between OCD thoughts and normal thoughts, it's about not knowing the difference and tolerating the uncertainty. WTF is that supposed to mean?!! I mean that needs to be explained thoroughly!!! You can't just throw shit out there and expect people to understand it. I am just really getting fed up with the bits and pieces of information being put out there so OCD sufferers will have to pay for complete answers. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Hello, I'm new here. Just thinking of a quick dump on what my OCD has caused me to do. I'm in a period of lapse, where I had first developed it when I was 12. Being a Muslim means I have a lot of set rules to follow, along with a lot of reminders of what Hell looks like and punishments that are carried out there. The problem with religious OCD, is that ustaz/religious teachers online will provide a lot of solutions further worsening it. As many know, religious beliefs depend greatly on interpretation of the holy book and other religious guides. The increase in people spreading their interpretation which is less lenient and more restrictive pains me. But tbf, I've come a long way. Praying alone used to take me an hour or more, because a single sentence of "Bismillahirahmanirahim" is repeated again and again, had gone up to 10 mins before, because I didn't feel like it's the right pronounciation and that God would reject my solat (prayer) and I'd go to Hell. I'd take ablution until my shirt was wet enough to be wrung because I'd be afraid of missing parts of my skin which would deem my prayer invalid. Now, the OCD has lapsed and it bases mainly around purification and also forgetfulness. A dog passed by me and even though it didn't touch me, I had intense intrusive thoughts that insisted that it had, pushing me to purify my jeans and shoes. Rn, my brain is insisting that I haven't carried out my solat Maghrib (4th prayer of the day) even though I'm trying to convince it that I have because I would never carry out my Isyak prayer (5th prayer of the day) without doing so and I would always feel rushed if I havent performed it. It's scary because even though I know that what my brain is insisting is wrong, the thoughts and compulsions are so loud. And I feel like the fear of burning in Hell and getting punished is enforcing them. This feeling of continuous doubt is hurting me and my spirituality. It's like two opposing forces pushing against me. "If I carry out the compulsions I'm safe but it would also mean I'm caving and getting worse" "If I don't carry out the compulsions there's a possibility I'm wrong and I'll get punished by God" I'm currently an international student studying in the UK so I don't have insurance but I feel the need to start therapy. Living abroad is difficult enough. I want to live a better life than being shrouded by doubt. I'll share tips on how I overcame my experience of a more severe case of religious OCD if you want. It's nice it has a name in mental illness.

Anyone had r word ocd ? Which is wondering if your partner ever r word you and you think of moments and wonder if that was actually r word ? This is so horrible bc I was getting over an episode and then I decided to search up something and now I’m in a spiral again . Basically, last year sometimes my partner would try to stick his thing in my butt knowing I don’t want to do anal and then I would say no and he wouldn’t do it . Like he would kinda stick it in but not all the way if that makes sense What does that mean ? Does that mean that it’s r word ?

Its killing my brain, ive only ever been attracted to boys and only ever had crushes that were boys but suddenly its like i started thinking that girls are attractive and the thoughts disgust me and in the future i cant see myself being with another girl or kissing or having sex with her but its like in there and the thought terrifies me. Ive never been in a relationship or kissed anyone or watched any porn and never been inlove or anything and thats what terrifies me. I worry that in the future i wont have a husband or have any kids even though thats all i wanted even as a little girl. I saw a picture of a half naked man with abs and a beautiful face but its like i didnt feel anything down there and these thoughts have just grabbed onto that and use that over my head as to me being lesbian, i used to love reading books but now i cant read them withouth thinking weather im attracted to the female main character and its ruining me

im gonna be honest in this post because that’s the only way ill get help. ever since i was little, ive had sexual thoughts about my mom, they were unwanted but i did experience arousal from them. but i was young and i didn’t really see an issue with it, i didn’t wanna act on it or didn’t plan on it so it never really was a concern for me. it only became a concern when i started becoming sexually active and getting boyfriends. i started realizing these thoughts plus this arousal isn’t normal but for some reason it’s like i conditioned myself to associate arousal with these thoughts. when i would get stressed, or upset or mad these thoughts would “spike” and become more frequent or intense. i was very hypersexual as a kid due to trauma, unrestricted internet access and my mom didn’t even try to hide her sexual business from me. there were times where she would “relieve herself” in front of me, not like full blown as if she wanted me to see it, but she didn’t bother hiding it. i use to try and “catch” her doing these things, sometimes it would cause arousal but other times it was just pure paranoia of her doing these things. im guessing those are very traumatic memories for me hence why i can’t get them out of my head, but im wondering where these incest thoughts came from, if that’s not what i like? did it come from my experiences as a child or am i just messed up? i love my mom dearly, it’s gotten to a point where i try my best to stay away from her to avoid these thoughts. even today i walked in on her and i got so upset and mad and went off on her, then intrusive thoughts started popping up. this is so confusing and idk what to do. i feel like im messed up and there’s no fixing me.

She literally stayed up all night reading two books and researching rocd and taking notes because I have it and I'm here with my rocd telling me u don't like her anymore

This morning I woke up and my cat laid next to me and I petted her and she started purring which doesn’t happen often so I laid on her belly and listened to her purr for a while because I was not wanting to get up and go to work. I laid there for a while with my cat and then I started feeling really weird down there and I started to mentally freak out because I was afraid that I was feeling weird because of my cat so I started ruminating telling myself to ignore it that I was just laying my head on her and hearing her purr that’s it. So about 15 minutes later I started to hum to try to calm down and I got to a relaxed state again and then I started thinking about Dean Winchester so this is where it starts to get tmi…….anyways I was thinking about the character from Supernatural because I have a huge crush on him lol and I did the you know what (self time/masturbation) because i don’t do it often anymore because of the anxiety and intrusive thoughts (which I dealt with this time too but I just ignored it) and then now I’m freaking out because I was feeling weird when I was with my cat and then I did that so my mind is telling me I was turned on by my cat or the purring that just relaxed me that’s it. I’m really freaking out and I’m late for work now because I’m sitting here ruminating. I really hope I didn’t do anything wrong but my mind is telling me I did 😭

One of my main fears is thinking that I’m losing my mind or losing touch with reality. It sometimes make me feel so fearful , especially in the morning when I’m first waking up. But yesterday I kind of freaked myself out because I developed a new fear that I would look at someone’s face and not recognize them. So like always I went online and researched and found out some people suffer from not recognizing people’s faces , even if it’s someone they know. Now I’ve been sitting here for hours with my mind telling me what if this is happening to me? In my mind I know I’m not but my mind keeps telling me maybe you are. What if you’re out in public and you just freak out. It’s so irrational but it feels so scary. Has anyone ever had this feeling or fear. It almost makes me scared to look people in their faces. 😥

been feeling good no anxiety but yesterday i was thinking about when my therapy appointment will come through and the reason why i'm starting it and now i'm anxious about it and the thing that's troubling me 😣

I don’t want any reassurance just expressing myself… Knowing that you’ve caused damage in your relationship and feeling guilty for stressing your partner out has got to be one of the worst feelings. Knowing that they could easily be with someone else not going through these issues with but then choosing to be with you brings in nothing but shame and guilt.

I can’t take this anymore!!! My anxiety is bad!! I really believe I wanna break up!!! Been obsessing about our issues that we wanna work on! I want the relationship ocd or anxiety to go away so we can try to figure stuff out together! I don’t wanna end it!!!! I hate that I feel the reason I can’t leave is bc I don’t wanna hurt him when I use to obsess about that so much before it got this bad! Please I know I still love him more than a friend! I want this shit to stop!!!

My ocd has most been a struggle in relation to procrastination. Over the past couple semesters, my anxiety would spike and my will to do assignments would drop dramatically. My friend notes that her ocd used to spike when she was stressed and suggested I may have the same problem. My mind and body almost go into a coma like state where all I want to do is lay around and avoid my assignments. This then reflects on my self image and how I view myself creating a negative thought space because I will relate my success on the classroom to my self confidence and self value. Among other things I get urges stronger sometimes than other times to do something a certain way. And it’s not in the traditional way that you see on movies where someone has to turn a door handle 7 times before they can go through that door. But more like an urge to do something and if it’s not done in that exact way, it just feels off, wrong and not right. Sometimes it’s wanting to listen to a specific song, or laying an object down a specific way, or laying down in a certain position. Sometimes it’s an order of doing things obsession. For instance; one time I was getting ready for the day. And I visualized for myself a perfect routine and order of things that I needed to get done so that I could prep for the next day. I got through a couple of tasks but then realized I couldn’t find my lifting shirt. This for some reason threw me over the edge, and out of frustration I could not finish the rest of my self assigned tasks. This sort of plays into the procrastination thing I think. Trying to self asses this mentally is very challenging. Trying to diagnose these invisible urges that have always been “normal” to you and deciding whether they are from the cause of OCD or not has also been difficult. This semester I finally decided to see a therapist, and it didn’t go so well. Some how he forgot the reason behind my appointments being ocd, and he failed to reschedule after two weeks of visiting. Pretty embarrassing and frustrating overall. While trying to assess whether I actually had OCD I found out that my dad also has OCD. So maybe it something that can be passed down. It seems like my ocd really “took off” when I realized I had it. The way people react to this has also been interesting. I don’t think people have enough information on what OCD is and how it really works. Most people think of it as an obsession to washing your hands a certain amount of times, or doing routine things a certain way. A lot like Bill Murray’s character from what about Bob. But for me it’s so much different. Almost embarrassing or shameful sometimes to me because of the way some people have reacted when I tell them I have ocd. One professor comes to mind who gave me a strange look. I also worry about telling a girlfriend I have OCD because I hate them to think I have some large over-looming mental problem. That’s all the thoughts I really have on that as of now.

I’ve got a lot of bad coping mechanisms. I smoke, drink, isolate and hurt myself to help quiet my mind when it gets overwhelming. Can these count as compulsions? (Also not completely sure if I have OCD)

Who has an OCD recovery story they wanna share? Could use some motivation.

I need someone who has Rocd to listen

I’ve been struggling with sexual ocd, im 13 btw so it’s only clear that this would happen at some point😡😡 anyway it’s Christmas Day and I’ve BASICLY been crying the whole time. I’ve always been close with my mum especially since I’ve been Ill and of course my ocd has decided to take a hold on that, I always thought I could tell her anything and and feel safe with her but this is somthing I can’t bring myself to talk about with her she’s knows what’s going on and she’s encouraged me to talk to her but I can’t do it. I’ve been having sexual intrusive thoughts about her and it’s horrible I’ve been having thoughts fetishising mother daughter relationships, lesbian and men realationships, r@pe etc. and I’ve heard of the groinal sensation but I’m scared what I’m experiencing isn’t the same thing like I generally think if I wanted to I could masturbate to any of theese thoughts, I know it in fact. And that terrifies me especially since I’ve thought of some those before on purpose. I feel like there not even intrusive thoughts and I’m just a creep. I think if wither away and die without hugs and now I can’t get any my ocd has taken away the one thing I feel safe with I’ve never felt so alone and scared. I would never hurt anyone but that dosent make all theese wierd wrong sexual fantasies any more ok right? Please help me I know reassurance is proven as bad but I haven’t had any and I’m too scared and tired of fighting so please just this once help me feel less insane whenever I’ve made posts like this before no one replies☹️I hope your Christmas is going better than mine 💓