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the NOCD Community

Nothing feels real anymore, my thoughts aren’t mine, my feelings aren’t mine. My brain is either completely full or completely empty. My memory used to be so good and it has become so terrible now I can’t even picture things. I feel completely out of control and not me.

When I was younger I always felt different but it was because I’ve never been a “tough guy.” This transgender OCD is killing me. There were only a couple girly things I liked back then. But, I’ve never been upset with my body or anything like that. I’ve always liked the way I looked, and my physical qualities too. I’m scared with the thought saying “maybe I’m just realizing this and I’m meant to be a female.”

huh ? i wont post a lot anymore because it makes things worse but right now i feel very sad and exhausted. whenever I forget about my transgender-ocd i get other themes and it goes in circles. i dont know what is real anymore and now i just think all of this is true. i dont want to give up but im sitting in front of my desk, just numb. i want to cry, three years in this battle is a lot and i dont know what i wouldve done if i wouldnt have found this app.

Guys I'm so sad. My ocd and anxiety did find a new theme last night. I woke up in a full blown panic attack. I feel sick and want to throw up. It is about a mistake I might have made. The good part is it can be solved. The bad part is that it may bring me bad consequences. Both ways. If I fix it it might havr bad consequences, if I don't, maybe anything bad won't happen but there could also be very bad consequences. I just hate this

If you are kind of numb to the questions in your head, is that a sign of improvement? For example I keep telling the question in my head, “well are you gay?”, that I don’t care. Accept the anxiousness and move on with my day. The anxiousness is sticking around, but seems less intense. Is that good? I worry that it means I will never be able to answer that question, which is the goal but it’s also what I’m most afraid of. I’m worried I’ll become numb to all things, especially feeling connection with my boyfriend.

Ahhh Snapchat’s sponsored stories having been doing bad things for my HOCD this month

Why do people have to be rude? Yes I know us sufferers aren't supposed to ask for reassurance, but this is all so new to me.. Forgive me If I want to post about how I'm feeling, I've finally found a place where I feel I can safely say what's on my mind. So for someone to be rude by telling me not to keep posting the same thing. Makes me feel 10 times worse. People should really consider how they are talking to people on here. You may be familiar and know what to do in times of distress but that doesn't mean we all do.

Anyone else’s brain just shoots at them that they are gay or they should just be with the same sex. If so how do y’all deal ?

Anyone with contamination ocd struggle with the concept of the contamination spreading in a way that is impossible? For example, someone really dirty touches your stuff, you wipe it yet now you think all your bags contents and your clothes are fully contaminated. Same with seeing a really dirty scene, you think the airborn notion is enough to contaminate you just by seeing it and being around it. How do you manage to get away from these thoughts?

Ive made my intrusive thoughts worse by isolating myself, avoiding triggers. The anxiety and panic I suffered due to these thoughts got so severe I caved and locked myself away for over 2 weeks now. I was just so terrified I would act on my thoughts. Now I'm stuck in a horrible vicious cycle.

My boyfriend recently broke up with me almost two months ago and it really hurts but I really can’t help but miss him. I haven’t talked to him in 2 weeks and I doubt he’ll ever reach out to talk to me soon. I loved him so much and I can’t even describe how much it hurts not having him in my life. Our relationship used to be really really great and then things fell apart. My anxiety and ocd keep convincing me these extreme hypotheticals like that he’s so much happier without me now even though I don’t have any reason to really think that. Or that he doesn’t miss me at all. My heart is just really hurting. I miss everything about him

I’m shaking. Just found out my boyfriend of almost a year has a wife and kids in his home country of Egypt. I had someone look for his Facebook and it turns out he was hiding his Facebook from me the entire time. He turned emotionally abusive and I was dependent on him after I lost my job. He told me he wanted to marry me and have my kids, would go hot and cold between me being the love of his life and him lashing out and being resentful to me. When I confronted him about Facebook that’s when he tried to leave for good and said he was in another relationship, and when I found the family pics that’s when he blocked me. I will have trust issues for life. I can’t believe what’s happening I’m in shock shaking.

(HELP PLEASE) So my depersonalization/derealization has gotten so bad I’m actually scared for my life and I don’t know if I’m ever going to go back to normal I’m freaking out about it. I feel so unreal and vision is so blurry, I feel like I can go insane any second and that feeling is causing me so MUCH anxiety. I don’t know what to do anymore guys, this is a HORRIBLE theme I’m having because it’s not just mental, it’s physical, I feel so many ugly symptoms because of the derealization! Help someone please!

Does anyone ever have bad thoughts that you don’t mean but then they race so quickly that you end up doubting if u meant them or not? Really confused? also I’m a Christian so my bad thoughts all mostly revolve around that. Lots of doubt too.

There has been 2 birthday party’s for two people that I consider to be my some of my best friends that I haven’t been invited to. I feel like me being clingy and asking if people are mad at me and my ocd makes people not like me or hanging out with me. I just wish it would all go away and I could get invited to do stuff like a normal 14 year old.

Anyone else who is pure O confused on how to do ERP? If you have harm OCD do you intentionally think about harming someone??

Is anyone else’s primary compulsion googling, reading articles, taking quizzes, etc? Any tips on how to stop/limit these urges to engage in compulsion?

Any dominican with ocd?

i’m going on a 2 week mission trip in july and i’m so scared about how i’m gonna do without any electronics or anything (we aren’t allowed to bring any devices). my worst anxiety episodes happen when i’m free of distraction (like in bed or something) and i’m just so afraid that i’m gonna be really anxious throughout the whole trip. usually whenever i get anxious i try my best to sit in it and expose myself to it and NOT do compulsions, but once it has kind of subsided and i’m feeling better, i go on this app or something to kind of “cool down” i guess. does that make any sense lol. anyway, i’m just worried that bc it’s just going to be me and my thoughts for 2 weeks, i’ll have so many anxious thoughts and i won’t have anywhere or anyone to talk to about it (like i do here)—which i’m worried will make it worse. i don’t even know what i’m asking right now,,, i just don’t want my trip to be ruined or me not getting the most out of it because of my thoughts and anxiety. so i guess i’m asking if you have any advice or insights?? anything will help :))

Does anyone out there obsess about sins and if you’ve committed sin? And get bad thoughts in your head that could become sinful if you don’t blink really hard or repeat things to yourself ? It gets to a point where I cry and cry about it cause I can’t see anything clearly. I’m always questioning.