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How do you know if you have ocd ??

Hi! Is anyone else having issues with the billing department retroactively changing invoices? I was on an introductory cash pay offer of $75 per visit (valid for 12 visits) in 2021. This was offered to me before my first appointment. I then opted out of this offer as my new insurance ended up being most cost effective. The billing department recently went back and changed my invoices from $75 per visit to $170 over a year later! This is very suspicious and feels like a borderline scam. This is not the first issue I have had with billing mistakes either. In November they incorrectly refunded me hundreds of dollars. I noticed it on my credit card statement and immediately called them. They admitted it was a mistake and I had to submit payment again. This is getting to be more effort than this is worth.

I literally had a sex dream abt my abuser and I feel disgusted after waking up or just shocked bc now I feel now and how I felt in the dream are different.. and it’s weird bc I it’s like i didn’t know it was my abuser but it was yk? Like he was clearly physically present but I didn’t feel that vibe or aura abt them so I thought it was a different person but but physically they looked like them and I feel so disgusted bc I remember the details and I feel so ashamed bc I felt the dream and i saw myself like it :((( idk what that means bc now I’m kinda worried that means I had sexually feelings for my abuser deep down but I woke up like chill until I remembered and I felt disgusted ofc but I feel like I’m so used to anything being a possibility like maybe I do think or that like the ocd exposure thing that I feel bad that I kinda am not scared as much anymore? But it still concerns me bc I feel so disgusted by it now and even more bc my groinals and I still feel it like bleh :/

Let's talk about self-sabotage today! There have been many times in my life when I would start an argument or pick a fight over the smallest of things. Looking back, I can now see that this was OCD. I think on some level, I was trying to put distance on the relationship. That way, if that person wasn't "the one," they weren't that committed, or my doubts were right, I wasn't going to be as hurt. It wasn't until I started really tackling the OCD that I realized this was completely self-sabotage. What about you? Are there certain pieces of your life that you can look back and say, yes - this was OCD in the form of self-sabotage?

Many of us have struggled greatly with "taboo" intrusive thoughts, as they call them. Sexual, violent, disturbing, unsettling thoughts. This is a big part of what OCD can entail. It's very hard to open up to anyone about them, I remember for years thinking "am I the only person who feels this way?" Each and every one of you help me and others remember that we aren't alone, and we can overcome this. If you're experiencing thoughts like this, know that you're not alone. Although it may feel hopeless at times - that doesn't mean you can't overcome this. You can find yourself again!

the past 6 months i’ve honestly been pretty good. not perfect, but never in a debilitating state. and if i got anxious or triggered, it’d last a few days at most. however, in just one week i’ve gone back to spending hours and hours googling, on forums, confessing, reassurance seeking etc. i’ve spent more time on reddit each day than around actual humans! i felt i was getting much better as i was hardly coming on here and not googling all the time (big compulsions for me). but now i’ve slipped and i’m finding it super hard to stop slipping. the obsession i’m experiencing is one i’ve struggled with for years, on and off. i’d reached a point where i didn’t think it was true, or sort of just accepted that i’d never know for sure. but now i’m back to desperately trying to figure it out, constantly ruminating etc. this is also the first time it’s affected my sleeping and eating. i’m feeling the anxiety much greater than ever before.

hi guys it’s been awhile since i’ve been on here but right now i’m starting to get really scared i’m scared to go to hell because i swear, have intrusive thoughts and compulsions (obviously) and i look at and do s*xually immoral acts i am a catholic person and i’ve always stood by the notion that if i act with good intentions then there is no issue, but my mum was talking about her fear of going to hell (her ocd subtypes are about this) and now i feel guilty when i sin, even tho i only want peace in the world i go to reddit and look at some answers for this stuff (i have a really bad compulsion of searching questions on google for hours) and they mostly say i will go to hell if i sin i also get really depressed then question god’s existence and then wonder why i should be alive and stuff and then i’m guilty later i really don’t want this to become a major subtype. i have health ocd but it’s calmed down since i’ve been diagnosed with a health condition (for some reason??) can someone, christian or not, please respond with their experience with this subtype or anyone with advice at all?

Tw. Suicide mentions. My room is no longer safe. It’s Hell. I don’t deserve pity anyway. I suffer in my room. Full of pain and burden. I deserve suffer. If people found out the mistakes that I’ve made. I’ll suffer even more. A deserved suffer. I wonder what a life without burden of suffer and guilt would feel like. I’m only 15 and I cant do this anymore. Escape is the only word I’m fond of. I go to friends, girlfriend, or anywhere I can go so I don’t have to be alone with my thoughts. Nothing works. Only making them worse when I come back. I cannot stand this. My room feels like there’s demons in every corner. Tearing my soul into pieces. Ripping the happiness from me. And stripping me of joy. I cannot bare this anymore. I often think that suicide is always an option for me It often calms me knowing I have a way out of this life. I don’t think I could ever do it though. I’ve never been brave about it. The thought of after death scares me. I feel like dropping every single person I know when I’m an adult. I’ve messed up. I’ve made mistakes with everyone. I should just isolate myself until I have nothing. Just came back from being with my girlfriend and friend. I feel so empty now. I deserve it. I. Cant do this anymore, im not going to hurt myself. And I’m not going to attempt to end my life. I just want to be happy but I don’t deserve it. Thank you for reading

I get anxiety every single time I have a stomach ache and you know how often I have a stomach ache every single day I get anxiety every single day about the same things and even more things but it’s not just that so much things trigger it and I feel so misunderstood like people think oh you have a fear of throwing up well no one like throwing up or get over it but it’s not that simple I’m traumatized like I’d rather do something I absolutely hate than throw up. I literally avoid everything I can’t eat this can do that can’t share. i have to take vitamin c everyday to improve my immune system I don’t like travel because I’m scared of motion sickness I get scared on rides thinking someone will Throw up on me I cant drink even though I’m underage and alcohol is disgusting but still I can’t be around little kids because they have too many germs. I always think I have a fever and I’m constantly checking my temp. I’m constantly feeling my head and my cheeks to make sure they’re not hot. I get scared to go to my cousins house because they are always sick I can’t eat at certain restaurant i have to check dates on food. I can’t wear certain clothes. i have dreams of myself throwing up. When I get intrusive thoughts/ images about me getting sick or someone else. I Literally can not function on certain days from the past I got sick there is so much more how will this ever stop how will I ever be able to function I avoid so much and I literally miss out on so much things because of this like I literally want to shut down in my room and never come out that’s how bad it is. I have this extreme fear of getting sick/ vomiting and OCD has latched onto that fear ever since I was little and I have to do all these compulsions and this is just a list of some of the things I have to do. Anyone else relate?

Having horrible anxiety about this for forever. Do colleges looks at your final grades on your transcript or your grades each year and each quarter?

So my last few weeks have been a living hell. I have had a headache for about 2 weeks straight which of coarse i think i have a brain tumour. I have a bump on my head that looks like a mole, well my mind tells me that it is a brain tumour. I go to the doctor all the time but each time i swear there is something wrong w me. My family thinks i am crazy and can’t stand me talking about my headaches but it only talk about for reassurance and comfort. I just wanna be healthy. But i feel so unhealthy. I have had my blood done about a month ago. Everything was normal. Now my head won’t stop hurting and now i am convince i have a brain tumour cause i have all the symptoms on the internet that tell me i do. they wouldn’t be able to know if i had a brain tumour on my blood test right? so that’s why i feel they are missing something. Help!!!

does anybody else experience more OCD like symptoms when they feel as though their life is getting out of control or a big change happened? when I feel as though things are getting out of control, I obsess over the things that I can’t control. Such as food, cleanliness, and the list goes on and on I’m sure you would understand.

I have anxiety about whether I really have OCD. What if I've been misdiagnosed and I'm taking medication for nothing? Thinking about it is also a symptom of OCD, but what if I'm making myself sick?

I’ve struggled with ocd throughout my entire adult life and used to use therapy and NOCD often to help manage symptoms. I had a good grasp on my anxiety so gradually stopped using these support systems but now I became a mother just a few weeks ago and fears surrounding my newborn have been debilitating. When he was first born I was elated and felt I had a very good grip on my mental health but after falling out of the bed at two weeks old I have been spiraling. He had no visible injuries, was evaluated multiple times and had a negative ct scan but I’ve been struggling to let go of the unknowns and putting everything under a microscope. I’ve been pretty hysterical since. After his last evaluation last night I decided I have to accept what happened and the unlikely unknowns that could come up later on. The thoughts still make me sick to my stomach but my son deserves a mother who is the best version of herself and I will not let my ocd consume me. This is the first step towards getting better for my baby.

i’m only 15 i cant. i cant. i don’t even know if it’s real event ocd. it feels like massive weights on me. i cant live just acting like everything’s normal. like i haven’t made mistakes. if people knew the mistakes i’ve made because i didn’t know they were wrong everyone would hate me. i don’t deserve my relationship. i don’t deserve my friendships. i don’t deserve anything. i just want to cry and hold friends and my partner but i’d feel guilty because i feel like the worst person i know. i don’t know how i can just “act normal” and “leave stuff in the past” and “not confess” “move forward and focus in present “ :(

What defines recovery? Felt like I was making progress, then experienced a setback, maybe a “lapse” this week. I realized I don’t know what recovery looks like and what actually defines being in recovery.

how do i stop waking up so anxious

Why do I do compulsions but feel no anxiety? Also why do I get the anxiety and do no compulsions? It’s confusing me 😖

hello! this is going to be a personal rant about my current struggles with OCD. specifically Cis-OCD, which is pretty much just TOCD in reverse (obsession/fear of actually being cis in denial). i'm a 21 year old trans man, i came out around 5 and a half years ago and i've been on T for 2 years and am 7 months post top surgery. since around october, i've been dealing with intrusive thoughts surrounding my gender. pre-transition, i had this theme for a few months: the "what if i've just been faking it this whole time/what if i'm not truly trans?". my family didn't understand my identity at first and questioned me a lot on it and i always felt like i had to justify/explain myself. which was pretty much fuel to the fire. no matter what, though, this identity that i hold felt like gravity. i always ended up back here because it's who i truly am and i know that deep down. years later, far after the initial obsession, in early january i began my medical transition. it was seriously the best decision i could have made for myself. my mental health reached a baseline of okay-ness that i had never experienced before. bad things that would happen to me didn't feel like they were going to consume me, i felt true, prolonged happiness for the first time in a long time. i was joyful as every change came along with the hormones, as i felt a synchronization between my body and mind that i had never experienced before. i had surgery in may 2022 and seeing my chest for the first time made me feel something indescribable and amazing. i have a video of myself taking my shirt off outside for the first time over the summer and not knowing how to express how overcome with emotion i was. from jan 2021-october 2022 my ocd was also not very severe and i could function in school and daily life a lot better than usual. then october hit, and i got the flu for the first time in around three years, and i was in bed and my body ached very badly. i was sick three times that semester. an intrusive thought came into my head, the same one from years before, the "maybe your body hurts and you feel bad because you secretly regret your transition". at first, the thoughts were easier to fight off and explain away with logic. but as i kept fighting, the thoughts kept searching for new evidence. i began to have to check my memories over and over, to examine whether or not i was happier when i was younger before i transitioned, to examine pictures of me before and after and throughout and make sure i still felt like who i am. i began having to look in the mirror for a long time and check whether i recognized my reflection as my true self, to feel my chest and facial hair repeatedly to check that i still liked the changes i had made. i read accounts of people who had transitioned and people who detransitioned and made a mental tally of how many things they said i could relate to. i started telling friends about the obsession in hopes of seeking reassurance. a lot of the thoughts were irrational in nature and took things from my past and twisted them to be "signs" that the thoughts were true. when i got reassurance i felt better for a little while but the OCD never took that as an answer. it just kept getting worse. i told my dad about it in november over the phone and he said something along the lines of "if you keep thinking it, it has to have some credibility. the thoughts are there for a reason." i flipped out and panicked really bad that night. i didn't want the thoughts to be true. i didn't think they were. i'm happy with myself. but then my dad said "well, it's obviously more distressing to be wrong about who you are than right about it" and i couldn't stop thinking about that over and over. there were times where i used tips from OCD resources i'd found online, to help me accept uncertainty. when i'd do that, i would temporarily get out of how bad it was. i would be my normal self again, for a few weeks, and i began to do the things i enjoyed again like painting and video editing. but there would always be something to trigger it and i would end up back in the cycle. on tiktok i saw a video about someone who detransitioned after like seven years being out, and the "what if" thoughts came back really quickly. i went through their whole account and needed to know all the information so i would know if i matched it (i did not but the what ifs made me even question that). as this thing got worse, the lines between what was real and what was not got blurred for me. i began not trusting anything i thought and i wasn't able to engage with the world at all. every random stimulus (TV shows, song lyrics, writing) made me twist it up to be about the obsession even though it was completely unrelated. since many of my compulsions are mental, i wouldn't even realize i was doing them. i became miserable and my brain felt like a minefield, a hellscape. constant excruciating pain. i barely made it through the fall semester and had to be hospitalized two days before christmas as i became very unsafe very fast. i thought my problem was too complex and unheard of even within the OCD world to even bother getting help. but i did anyway in a last ditch attempt before i gave up completely. i'm now out of the hospital and entering into an IOP (intensive outpatient program) treatment on monday. i'm scared that it won't work on me or that i'm deeply in denial. i feel like i have better insight now than i did when i was hospitalized but i'm constantly on the edge of going down the rabbit hole again and i need to keep myself out of it. if you got this far, thank you for reading. i'm a little scared to even talk about this on a public platform but here we are. i don't know what the purpose of this post was but i guess i just wanted to write about my journey so far

Hey, does anyone struggle to get up out of bed because of being incredibly overwhelmed with every area of your life. Despite knowing that you’re running out of time for deadlines and appointments? If so how do you make yourself get up?