- Date posted
- 3y
How many people feel like they do better on meds and who feels like it doesn't help much?
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working to conquer OCD
How many people feel like they do better on meds and who feels like it doesn't help much?
I'm struggling so much and I need HELP and I wish I could get it I've been in the hospital many times because I didn't wanna be here anymore with this OCD taking over my life and the TIME it's taking AWAY from my LIFE it's been hours and hours days and days and days and the TRAUMA it's brought into my LIFE I'm so sick from this I need help and more time then just 10-12 days not a holding cell I wish I could go to the hospital in Wisconsin or Boston to get the REAL help..š I'm so lost with my OCD the checking and rechecking and rechecking and then I'll take Xanax or Ativan to try stop the anxiety and then it can make me feel worse at times I'm just so lost I want the COMPULSIONS to STOP it's hours, days weeks that have been taken away from me and my loved ones and my relationships they're all being slowly deteriorated turning into dust I'm in quicksand and I can't get out I'm just not functioning like a normal person at ALL.. I suffer with autoimmune diseases as well and I truly believe that they can trigger my mental health issues as well as PTSD and I also believe that drug addictions can happen to someone when you have an OCD and you're trying to find a way to fix one thing and then your creating another MONSTER in the end this can happen most definitely.. š And as well as environmental things which can trigger many and people can trigger as well whether it be mentally, physically or situations they can trigger someone like the thought that you're GOOD ENOUGH for anyone especially those you care for in your LIFE I've been in the hospital eight times and I believe they're HOLDING CELLS yeah they might work for some and maybe they get you into a long term program for some people who are fortunate enough but for me I wasn't fortunate enough like so many others who aren't I was rejected at a time when I really needed the HELP and I felt this wasn't right just because I didn't have the right insurance or because my OCD wasn't the RIGHT OCD for me my OCD is cutting my hair and they wanted to qualify it as body dysmorphia which is absurd OCD is OCD whether it's rumidating thoughts or are you doing a compulsion which also has rumidating thoughts involved there's something else underlining behind it whether it's a physical illness that can trigger it or people in your life or horrible things that have happened throughout your life whatever the case may be PTSD or an overload of STRESS feelings of worthlessness not being able to take care of everybody in the WORLD that you care for feeling like you're an empath and everything that you come across your FEELING and it's too much to take from the WORLD and your not coping with how to deal with it and being able to just let go..š I'm an extrovert person and some people would think WOW you're so outgoing you're so easy to talk to why would you suffer with anxiety or depression or anything like that it's funny if you're an introvert and you're more closed in people are more apt to think aw that person's sad something's wrong with that person we should feel sorry for them they need help but when you're an outgoing person it's funny people don't seem to think that way unfortunately for people who are extroverts with free spirit outgoing personalities it's not always so easy for those who are this way to be accepted in the WORLD it's not that easy it's hard for people who are introverts and it's hard for people who are extroverts free spirits the WORLD doesn't always accept those who are different than the norm.. I suffer with OCD and in my eyes any form of repetitiveness that takes YOU away from your LIFE is an OCD and the mental health industry NEEDS to see it that way.. šš»šš» One of the hospitals I stayed in they wanted me to speak there about my LIFE and what they could do to make things better there because it was a horrible place to stay in like so many a lot of these hospitals have to CHANGE the way they format their SURROUNDINGS for those who are staying there because really truly a lot of these places are one step away from looking like a PRISON.. I never did speak there but I should of this industry the mental health industry has to CHANGE I'd make t-shirts for everyone to wear and it would say TRANSPARENCY so much NEEDS to be DONE and everyone NEEDS to do a part.. I'm a FREE SPIRIT and when I was in the hospital many people would say why are YOU here YOU don't look like YOU belong here isn't that funny but yet I was in the hospital eight times I wasn't fortunate enough to go into a hospital where I could stay for 30 60 or 90 days like they give to drug addicted people and that's not OKAY I think we need to look at OCD as no different than an ADDICTION and there needs to be more places for people to go to where they can stay for 30-90 days to get the RIGHT kind of HELP it's just not RIGHT.. FUNNY we have ALL kinds of stores on every corner but yet ALL the money that the government said they would put into MENTAL HEALTH where is it and other people have talked about putting together good mental health programs too but WHERE are they for those who are truly suffering and that don't have a giant pocketbook of money to put themselves into a program it's just fair and it's NOT ENOUGH we need a mental health store on every corner for ALL and hospitals or maybe not call them hospitals I don't know facilities for ALL those that need the HELP and longer than 10-12 days for those that NEED it so badly but don't have the MEANS we need more places and programs and there's just not enough..šš And we also need to start bringing back therapy one-on-one or group therapy where people are actually getting together in-person for me I don't do well with talking to people on a computer when it comes to therapy I truly believe one-on-one talking to somebody face to face even if it's just like sitting outside on a beautiful day whatever the case may be we NEED to start bringing that back because for many you'll find that they're not getting the therapy because it's hard for them to do it that way .. There's just so many things that NEED to CHANGE in this industry and boy do I have a lot of ideas but and I'm not an expert but what I am an expert on is what I've seen and experienced and more has to be DONE that's all I can say and I just wish I could get the HELP I really do I really wish I could qualify to get the HELP because I'm emotionally, physically and mentally spent it's slowly killing me and I feel like my LIFE is being robbed from me for SURE š I really believe that for those who are living with OCD and they don't talk about it are suffering dearly but for me I actually don't have a problem with talking to anybody about it which is strange maybe but for me I'm actually comfortable with telling people what I am dealing with because I'm looking for help at times I guess when I'm really bad just ANYBODY who will LISTEN and HEAR me and sometimes it's NOT about getting the help from that person I think I'm just sharing because I care for others and I believe there are many people who are suffering and when you talk about what you're dealing with sometimes you'll find that maybe there's somebody else that dealing with something similar and they've never expressed how they're feeling and now they're able to open up a little bit and it's kinda like networking too you just NEVER know who you might encounter and so sometimes talking about your mental health issues can HELP someone else and yourself too I believe this.. I'm a very open person but yet I'm not getting the HELP I need and I believe we're ALL connected and we need to HELP each other we really do even those who are so sick that have done horrendous things if only those kids that have done those terrible things if only we could have reached into their psyche and stopped something inside them really I truly believe we ALL can do our part when it comes to this.. š Just like people will say they have diabetes or some other type of physical illnesse like I went through breast cancer in 2016 and I shared that with people and people were open to listen and maybe share their stories but when you talk about your mental health yeah oh boy the STIGMA of mental health it's so horrible it really is they look at it like "Oh just be HAPPY you alive it could be worse" or Oh just STOP doing that don't do that ANYMORE" and then I tell them there are WORSE things in LIFE than DEATH so people need to STOP using DEATH as way to tell someone to get WELL....šµāš« This is a problem so much NEEDS to be done in the mental health industry to educate everyone there truly needs to be a universal program for everyone to take and especially mandatory for parents as well.. You know it's so sad it's just so sad and I'm in tears thinking about this many just don't get it and sometimes I think they want to and yet everybody will tell YOU they're going through something and that's how they look at it we're ALL going through something so GET OVER IT this is so SAD really yeah many people go through things but it's ALL about how you're able to cope and go through it and if it's physically mentally emotionally taking over your LIFE then it's not OKAY so yes there are some people that can just go through things differently than others and that's just a fact but mental health still has to be considered MENTAL HEALTH and NOT looked at as if it's NOTHING and to STOP saying to those who are mentally hurting JUST GET OVER IT!! And then there are a LOT of people out there that are just NOT experienced with OCD when it comes to therapy in the mental health industry which is crazy because OCD has become a GIANT in the mental health industry now and yet it's so SMALL on the radar when it comes to those who are educated in knowing how to really HELP those in NEED it's really a SHAME and it's truly TIME things need to CHANGE and I just PRAY that it gets better because this is not OKAY.. Our county and the mental health industry has to START creating something out there because there are so many PEOPLE who are SICK in the WORLD and when you see schools being shot up and ALL these things happening in the WORLD and stores being shot up the mental health industry NEEDS to be taken seriously it REALLY does and it's not OKAY we ALL can HELP we really can if we really try and we really CARE and how can you NOT CARE with so much sadness in the WORLD from so many who are mentally not WELL š„ #TRANSPARENCY #WE ALL CAN DO OUR PART AND CARE šššššš
My anxiety is soooo bad I felt nauseous and like I could faint itās been like this all morning, Iām in a bad spiral I feel horrible
Iām so terrified because when I was a teenager I used to have a embarrassing and weird tickling fetish. No idea where it came from but it started around age 15 to maybe 19. I donāt have it anymore and I absolutely regret it 100% because of āself timeā being involved. The fetish was the only thing I ever was part of mentally I never ever had any other intentions. Never. I used to go on ifunny and thatās where I would find artwork I guess related to the fetish. I stopped going to ifunny and around age 19 or something I went back and I remember the people in the artwork or whatnot would come across as being younger and I would skip them and try to find more āappropriateā I guess I donāt even know how to explain this but I know itās something other people may have struggled with as well and I hold a lot of regret and shame even though I had literally no bad intentions whatsoever it was for a stupid fetish but the ocd has attached to it for many years now and it scares me to death what it tries to convince me is real when I pray to God it is not. I feel so terrible for that time I went back to ifunny but I remember I got uncomfortable and got rid of the app. I never had bad intentions and I know that for sure. I just feel so incredibly horrible all time time about what I didnāt know when I was younger and I should have. Not long after everything I developed ocd and the worst theme Iāve ever dealt with is POCD and also real event too. My self esteem is shot. Thereās nothing that makes me feel alive anymore because I absolutely cannot stand myself. Iāve wanted to give up countless times. I have so much fear all the time. Iām going on vacation this weekend with my family and I feel like I donāt deserve to go or have fun. My birthday is next weekend and itās just another day for me and I tell people not to get me anything because I feel as I donāt deserve it or anything joyful or happy. I donāt know what to do. This is embarrassing to talk about but itās what Iām dealing with and I hate it with a passion of how stupid I was when I was younger. Iām almost 24. I canāt even move on with my life because I feel like I donāt deserve to š
Please forgive me for being a broken record! I start with a new therapist on Friday so hopefully I wonāt be repeating myself so much to you guys lol. I feel stuck in my marriage. Just unhappy you know. Gonna look into the marriage counseling today. Weāre best friends so thatās good, but I just feel sad. Weāve been married a year and deep down, a lot of the time, I have just felt stuck. If we were dating we wouldāve separated a long long time ago, but I feel like that option is gone now.
My biggest obsession at the moment is that I am not going to get better, or, am I going to get better. My therapist is making me say a script to myself about not get better and never being well again, losing my family and suffering for the rest of my life. I am so scared I am doing it wrong. I don't stop worrying about getting better all day long, it goes round and round in my head. I am full of anxiety and pain. I am apparently supposed to really believe that I might not ever get better...but I can't MAKE myself believe that. I still hope to get better....is that wrong? Is that not doing erp right. What if I can't get the erp done correctly??? I feel like my therapist and I are just going round in circles as I am not grasping it properly
Does accepting the feelings such as anxiety and the discomforts is part of the recovery? I'm trying to work on this, to work on my ability to tolerate the discomfort even though it's so hard it feels like I want to escape my own body, my question is, can we human beings tolerate such discomfort? I know it sounds like a reassurance question but it's not, I want to know if I have the ability to tolerate discomfort no matter how hard it is in order to boost my confidence and head towards recovery.
Hi guys, I am struggling so much right now. I have had pretty constant panic anxiety the past week or so (and before that as well), in relation to leaving my husband. I love him but my body feels so exhausted from constantly feeling like someone is holding a gun to my head. I have had anxiety about various aspects connected to our relationship like intimacy, life choices etc. But this "high alert" anxiety feels different and I just feel so torn as to what to do. I wish I could figure out a way to be in this relationship without feeling so much anxiety inside. I feel like I "need to make a decision" and just "listen to myself" but I dont want to hurt him as that is such a big fear of mine. But I also dont want to continue to suffer from this anxiety. I feel like I made a decision to stay in the relationship and felt better for a week but then I felt triggered and am back in this stressed state. I dont see my compulsions besides I guess being stuck in this limbo mindset. Its hard to capture everything in one post but my anxiety is related to what I actually want with my life and that leaving my partner is what I actually want. I couldnt think of a better partner to have though which is why this all feels so distressing and catastrophic. At the same time being single and the freedom from triggers it would seemingly give me feels so tempting. This is so hard and I dont know what to do! Any advice?
I'm not sure if this needs a trigger warning but there are mentions of sexual intrusive thoughts, OCD surrounding Covid and I mention some compulsions I had to do. Idk if anyone relates to this, but I often have a hard time explaining what OCD is, and what my personal experience with OCD is to loved ones. Like last night for example, I was suffering really bad from (TW) sexual intrusive thoughts surrounding incest. I can explain and share this with people that also suffer from OCD, but even my closest friends who have known about my disorder and certain fears for years and years won't hear about this. So if I call them for help I usually just say something in the likes of: 'Oh yeah my OCD is just being a bitch.' or 'I'm just feeling anxious.' Even explaining how compulsions work and that I have to do them is shitty, I mean how do you explain that if I don't knock a certain way on my fucking desk that I will get a fucking cold or something (random example so that I don't trigger anyone). A couple of weeks ago (TW surrounding Covid) my dad got Covid and I was terrified that I might get it too. A close friend of mine that doesn't know a lot about OCD and how it works for me asked how I was doing and I told him honestly that I was afraid of getting Covid and how it was affecting my OCD. But, I didn't quite know how to explain it, I didn't know how to tell him that I slept with my cushions in a certain way, that I used the cups at work in a certain way and all that other OCD shit to not get Covid, knowing that that is not how the world works. I don't know if anyone relates to this, but if anyone does and wants to share their experience/tips about the having to explain OCD to loved ones (that are neurotypical or are neurodivergent but don't suffer from OCD or symptoms of OCD), please share.
I'm pretty elevated now as I recently learned one of my OCD fears is true. I worry about ocean contamination, particularly human feces being present, now after learning that several of the beaches are contaminated with enterococcus (a bacteria found in human & animal feces) on the island where I live. I never knew about this before this year as I receive water quality reports now from an NGO I'm following. When taking something out of my closet, I came across a beach lounge chair that I used at a beach last year that I recall had murky water. I started doing some digging on the internet and while some articles said that beach is highly contaminated, when I looked at the NGO's website with month by month published data, the contamination levels show they are low for most of the year. From July 2022- March 2023 the contamination level was only high in January and medium level in September 2022. All the other months show low contamination. The data doesn't go as far back as when I was at that beach, May 1, 2022, but it dates back at least to July and since the contamination level was low then I have some peace of mind. I still want to clean but not even sure what to do. I can't put a chair in the washing machine, obviously. I have Clorox Clinical spray, which is hospital level disinfectant and meant to be used on hard and soft surfaces so I'm thinking to spray the chair and whatever in the closet the chair touched. I don't know if this is really going to help since bacteria doesn't stay in 1 place. So if there was any contamination, the bacteria would have already traveled everywhere I took my chair, gone through my closet and even died. I have many of my clean clothes hung in the closet as well as my hamper with laundry. I can't practically go and wash all my clothes again and I think discarding things like the chair and my hamper would be super wasteful and cause me to feel guilty for being wasteful. The chair looks to be in perfectly fine condition and there are no major stains, no soiled marks whatsoever. So I feel discarding the chair would be wrong. I'm not sure what to do. I have a bottle of Clorox Clinical, hospital level disinfectant. I could spray it on the surfaces (chair, hamper, wall and other things the chair touched) and allow them to air dry as the instructions say. Or maybe I should do nothing. Maybe I have to accept there might have been enterococci, albeit a low, safe level according to the health department, on my belongings but that bacteria is long dead and gone. I guess beyond that I have to sit with the anxiety about contamination having been in my closet. I guess I can be somewhat reassured as the data shows low contamination at the questionable beach and that it's been 11 months since I went to this beach and never got sick, further reassuring a low contamination level. I'm really struggling, unsure what to do. I feel like these are my options: 1) accept the situation as is and just sit with the anxiety, accepting the possibility that enterococci was possibly on my belongings though unsure but rationally would be dead and gone by now, thus proving to not be a risk 2) try to do some cleaning with disinfectant although I feel it's futile from a rational perspective at this point since bacteria travels and doesn't stay on the same surfaces it first comes into contact with.
I wonāt lie, my dental hygiene has definitely taken a big hit since I spiralled since last year. Iāve definitely improved since then but I havenāt been consistent enough to make a huge difference. It sucks as itās difficult and often times it makes me feel really depressed about it. But knowing that Iāve made a difference even if it hasnāt shown enough has been consolatory in a way. Iāve still got a long way to go, but always wishing and hoping for the best.
Hi all Iām curious if anyone knows of a psychiatric medication for groinal responses? Mine have gotten so bad to the point where it feels like I get groinals to the exact opposite of my beliefs/morals/real personality/desires. Stuff that is so intensely disturbing but itās like ocd or something is just in there pressing the gas pedal when all I want is brakes. Has anyone tried to seek out medication for this before and if so what did you find? Or is there any other way that helped you? I honestly feel like Iād be able to get over my ocd if it wasnāt for this.
Hi all! I have partner-focused ROCD (undiagnosed if that matters). My fears and themes mainly revolve around him being an awful person, and him doing awful things. The problem isā¦I also love true crime documentaries. But in almost every one, my brain fixates on a detail and it triggers either a real event or memory (something heās said or done in the past that MIGHT elude or be evidence towards my fearsā¦sorry itās hard to explain). Anyway, itās very easy for me to get very triggered with true crime and so I want to stop watching it. But now, the thought of having to stop watching it is making me even MORE anxious because I keep thinking āif I am that easily triggered by so many different things, then it must mean all these fears are true and heās an awful person. If I have to avoid this to feel okay, then Iām ignoring/avoiding the problemā Iām not sure what to do hereā¦thanks for reading!
I been noticing flaws on my bf that donāt bother me at all I love him the way he is but I feel bad that I notice something is that normal ?
okay so Iām being sent into panic rn because yesterday and a few times the last few months I felt like I was ā evilā and then my cousin who also struggles with the same things I do said she felt ā evilā too .. and weāre both scared weāre possessed and mirroring eachother.
So now it's switched to sending me images of women either doing graphic sexual acts on each other, or doing them on me! (Followed by a groinal response). The content is starting to bother me less, but the sensations I get after these thoughts (grounal), is what worries me?! I have never had a desire to "experiment" with woman because women are only aesthetically attractive to ME, its never really been sexual. So WHY do I keep sexualizing random women on the street?! On top of this, I feel like I've been noticing men less since this started about a year ago.
I grew up believing that all people are equal and deserve to be treated with love and respect. I was always surrounded by black people and went to predominantly black schools. Recently, out of no where, I've felt scared about being around black people out of fear of being perceived as racist. I have an extreme fear now whenever I see a black person. I fear that my anxiety may cause me to inadvertently do something racist. I feel so much shame at the thought that I could be racist but I know that I'm not. Why am I scared of black people then? Why do I try to avoid them? Someone please help me. I'm waiting for my therapist to respond to me so I can get some professional help but I would appreciate any helpful advice on this.
I drive a really old truck on narrow streets and I keep getting really scared that I am going to hit another car without realizing it and get charged with a hit and run. My car shakes a lot and I keep getting scared I hit someone and didnāt notice. I should have stopped this time and checked.
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