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Just went to college today and it was horrible. I kept getting thoughts about killing people. It hurts so much. I’m home crying idk why. I’m sobbing. I’m jealous I can’t be like the other people enjoying they’re college lives. I wanna be happy again. I wanna die so badly but I don’t wanna leave my mom and dad or anyone I’m scared I’m a serial killer. I can’t even enjoy college. I feel like I enjoy these thoughts. I read about other people saying how they still recover yet from Harm ocd and it’s giving me even more anxiety. I wanna go to a concert of my favorite singer and I’m crazy to go there. But I can’t because I’m a murderer. And I deserve to be in jail. Idk what to do please help me. I don’t wanna leave my mom. I can’t breathe and I can’t manage to fail my classes either. It’s so hard.

nOCD moderator here! An update on our flagging policies: sharing scary, difficult, upsetting OCD thoughts is just fine. We WILL flag any post that suggests a user is considering harming themselves. Why do we do this? So we can send that person information on getting the help they might need. We want to keep our community safe. Let us know if you have any questions!

i have intrusive thoughts and they make me want to die

Is anyone else here female and suffer from Pedophilia OCD? It has been absolutely debilitating for me the past year. No matter what I tell myself, I can never rid myself of these thoughts. I don’t even like children, yet I have these horrific thoughts that plague my mind day in and day out. I was doing well for awhile until I had a dream last night and it triggered everything again for me. I just want it to stop. I know I’m not my thoughts, but it’s been too much for me to handle.

I’m having a terrible night. I’ve been in a panicked state for a couple of hours. I’ve been prescribed a medication for when I’m extremely anxious, but I’m reluctant to use it because I’m worried I’m going to become addicted or something ? (even though my doctor assured me I can’t become addicted!) Can anyone offer some advice/experiences? Thank you! d a i s y

Any other people looking to pursue a career in medicine? I’m desperate to be a doctor, but I’m awfully worried my illness will hinder my opportunities! d a i s y

Have any of you experienced positive results with SSRI Medication? Are they worth it?

My thought process currently: my dog pooped on the floor. Husband cleaned it up with toilet paper. However he did not use a disinfectant or even a wet wipe. Dog walked in the same area the poop was not cleaned appropriately. Dog jumped in my lap, I figured since I was about to shower it would be okay and I let her lay all over me and I pet her. Then I held my phone. After I took a shower, I picked up my phone without first disinfecting it, now my hands feel horribly dirty. I’m scared I will spread germs that the dog may have spread to me and I spread to my phone. However my husband is telling me it will be alright, be strong and don’t wash my hands or disinfect my phone and watch as nothing bad happens. Is this a legit reason to clean my phone and hands or is this just the OCD talking??

Sorry my post got deleted! But once again so sorry to whomever flagged my comment... I suffer from Harm OCD and I was very open about my thoughts and how I was feeling. Harm OCD has been the worst OCD for me and I have super violent thoughts which feel so real and leaves me confused at times. I swear I’m not a bad person and I meant no one any harm! Thank you to those ( esp @Pineapple and @WorriedDriver) for always responding to my posts and helping with tips, I love you guys. Once again I’m sorry what I did, never got flagged before so now I feel evil. ? I will be more careful.

Going through a really stressful time right now. I am looking for a job, dealing with financial stress, I was in a minor car accident a week ago (no one was hurt), and I really haven’t been doing great emotionally or mentally since my grandpa passed away the end of last year. Does anyone have any tips for managing stress when you are dealing with a lot of life changes? I feel like it is sending my OCD into hyper drive, I fixate on every little thing, think about all the what ifs, and worry about every perceived mistake I make and how it is going to affect my situation. I feel like this is caused by all the stress and pressure that is on me right now. If anyone has any tips or forms of stress relief they find particularly effective that would be amazing.

I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts lately and after a lot of research, I’ve learned to just let them happen. But now, I’m scared that since I’m not having anxiety or crying over it, it must mean that I like the thoughts or that I don’t find them bad. I know that this in itself is OCD. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but I have been speaking to a specialist over email to set up an appointment. I don’t feel like myself anymore, my brain is so full of questions and thoughts that I can’t even figure out what they are. It feels so foggy and I feel so lost. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I’m all alone in this and I’m just so confused.

I’m really starting to see that I may never get better, but that’s ok. I accept it. I’m starting to be able to accept that my symptoms are anxiety related and I don’t have to take them seriously. It’s a relief because I was always trying to get rid of the symptoms, now I’m accepting them.

My HOCD gets so bad in the mornings with thoughts. Last night I kept trying to tell my boyfriend about a problem too and my mind kept saying “tell him your bi or gay!” And it gave me so much anxiety and it was kinda like an urge. I want my attraction back. I don’t trust anything my mind is telling me anymore.

Sorry, I have a few of questions: Has anyone needed inpatient treatment? My psychiatrist told me this morning that she’s considering admitting me. I’m a little scared. Has anyone got any experiences they’d be willing to share? Also I’m taking Fluoxetine augmented with an antipsychotic (I’m not experiencing psychosis, however). Has anyone been told to try this? Thank you so much in advance for all your help and kindness! :) d a i s y

I refuse to believe that ocd is chronic, does anybody else? I’ve heard people’s stories of fully beating it so why can’t we? I just don’t think we should have to accept dealing with this forever! Have a good day guys ❤️

I’m new to all this..... I’ve never had some of the thoughts I have up until the last year but looking back I’ve always had OCD just in different forms. The thoughts make my anxiety go through the roof. I’m afraid I will act On The thoughts even though I’ve never done so.... How do you get through this? I’m seeing a psychologist... Sometimes I get feel like I want to give up even though that’s not an option.

With ocd It seems it’s very hard to keep friends or even have a best friend. I finally thought I found someone who understood me and accepted me for me and yes she is there when there are emergencies, however, she knows that after a traumatic event I talk or text a lot to vent and calm myself down. And while I’m grateful she is my support system, at the same time she makes me feel guilty. I never know what I do wrong or how to fix it. It sucks because she and I have so much in common and I entrust my life with her but at the same time I feel she lets me down and disappears and ignores me and then gets mad when I’m upset. Sometimes I wonder if friends are the greatest things to have or the things that cause more stress/ I love her dearly and don’t want to lose her friendship but every time we are on the same page something changes. Ugh ?

Hi everyone, I actually have a question about OCD. I was wondering how long do the symptoms have to be present, in order for it to be considered as a disorder as opposed to it just being part of anxiety. Like how if you have anxiety for six months or more it’s considered to be part of GAD and if you have been depressed for more than two weeks, it’s actually clinical depression, etc. I hope that makes sense, if not please let me know if I have to clarify.

Overwhelmed and feeling stressed. I am moving and have a week to finish packing and then load in truck and out. Any tips or help with how to manage the disarray, I am feeling extremely anxious and having obsessive thoughts that are haunting me in dreams now too. Just can’t wait for this move to be over. Transitions are hard enough and it took me a looooooooong time (years) to make his jump. Any suggestions on how to handle ocd tendencies when moving and through a major transition? I feel like I’m falling apart.

What are good ERPs for ROCD? (When you get intrusive thoughts questioning how you feel about your partner)