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the NOCD Community

Deep breathing, looking at art, and meditating helps me but I feel like I am betraying God and making excuses for it and having selective Christianity which is against my values in the first place so I’m also a hypocrite

Is it possible to seek reassurance from oneself? Because sometimes I try to combat my obsessive thoughts by telling myself, "this is just my OCD. There's no need to be anxious or upset over this unwanted thought. My OCD is telling me things that aren't true." Or if I have an intrusive thought, I'll tell myself, "this is just an intrusive thought, it doesn't reflect who I am as a person. Just because I'm having an intrusive thought about doing something awful doesn't mean I actually want to do that thing. It's just an intrusive thought, it doesn't say anything about my character or desires." Is it okay to do this, or is this another form of reassurance-seeking? I guess basically my question is, is it okay to comfort oneself and remind oneself of the truth, or is this a form of compulsion in itself? I'm just trying to figure out how to respond to my intrusive thoughts and obsessions in a healthy way.

Can anyone relate.... I get so worried sometimes (currently happening to me right now) that my boyfriend isn’t into me anymore. That he doesn’t enjoy our sex. That he doesn’t think I’m funny. That he doesn’t think I’m attractive. That he can’t see a future with me. That we’ve just outgrown each other. And I worry about it so freaking much that it’s like I go out of my way to LOOK for reasons that might signify that he’s not into me anymore.

I went through a hoe phase when I was 18 and I’ve never been tested for hepatitis because I’m too scared to. In a way I feel like it’d be better not to get tested because most people don’t get tested for that so if I had it and knew it would just cause too much emotional harm for what it’s worth. Then another part of me is like WELL MOST PEOPLE DON’T GET TESTED FOR IT BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE ARE STUPID AND THE REASON THE DOCTORS DON’T INCLUDE IT IN AN STD PANEL IS BECAUSE MOST DOCTORS ARE STUPID, BE BETTER THAN THESE IDIOTS AND TEST FOR IT ALLLL, IT’S YOUR HEALTH YOU HAVE TO KNOWWWW!!!!!!! I also hooked up with an older woman right before I went celibate and now I have the EXACT same train of thought about getting tested for herpes again like’ “What is a 59 year old woman with a FAMILY doing hooking up with a 21 year old woman at a bar??? She must be trashy, you probably got something from her!!!! You just ruined your future sex life FOREVERRRR and the head was trash too, good going idiot!!! Now you’ll never be able to have sex with your future boyfriend or husband and IF you do you’ll always be valueless and replaceable and he’ll cheat on you!!!” Ok this whole confession is embarrassing AS SHIT and trashy as hell and I’m super embarrassed to be putting this here, I was young and dumb and a fucking idiot, I’m genuinely SO happy I’m celibate now

Hi all. I was diagnosed with OCD last year. I have had ups and downs with managing my symptoms. I went through rough patches where anxiety was really bad. Now suddenly I feel a bit better so I’m trying to keep up the effort to maintain this slight progress. My question is. How did you make the decision on if you should try medication or not? I am a very indecisive person.

Question: what is the worst type of OCD.

I have Religious OCD and it's absolute torture. I'm always worried that I'm not saved or that I'm a terrible Christian, or that God is disappointed in me. I feel guilty almost constantly, and the only way to find relief is by seeking reassurance, either through Christian articles online, or through talking to my pastor. I'm sure my pastor is annoyed with me by now because every few weeks, I call and text him, urgently asking him for help. And now that I've discovered what ROCD/scrupulousity is, it's gotten much worse. At first, I was relieved to know that I'm not the only one who suffers from this, but then I started to realize that I compulsively seek reassurance. So now I feel guilty every time I pray or read Christian articles or talk to someone about my problems, because I'm terrified that I might be compulsively seeking reassurance. So now I've become obsessed over the fear of engaging in my compulsions! I don't know what to do. I just want to have a normal, functioning Christian life. I just want to stop living in constant fear and guilt. I would never kill myself, but sometimes I feel like life isn't worth living and I secretly hope I'll die in my sleep so that I won't have to live like this anymore. I just want to go to Heaven to be with my Jesus, where He will "wipe away every tear from [my] eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things [will] have passed away." I can't live like this anymore. Someone please help me.

Has anyone heard or tried using medical marijuana? I have been using the meds the doctor gave me and up and up the doses but still feeling the same, i was looking into other meds and options and saw articles saying it helped people with ocd. I’m thinking of going to my doctor to see what he thinks, but wanted to know if anyone on here has tried it?

Not saying let's all go off meds and try lifestyle changes, meditation, and yoga, but how many of us can say we've actually tried all that in conjunction with our meds and still haven't achieved the desired results? If you can't feel exponentially better for improving every aspect of your health in combination with medication, then there's probably a common factor contributing to your suffering. It's your prerogative and your responsibility, to yourselves and others, to get answers and get better so that the human race has a chance at survival. You know what the last symptom of depression is? Death. This should never be the outcome of a treatable condition. If you're not willing to explore every possible avenue for alleviating your symptoms and healing your illness, you can't expect anyone else to either.

Okay, Now I’m really scared that my future kids will be born with OCD because of me :(

I let my health go too long and now I’m losing feeling in my feet and I’m not sure if me thinking I have diabetic neuropathy is ocd or a genuine concern... freaking the fuck out I have ALLL the symptoms n I’m pretty sure I’m diabetic because I HAVE been type 2 in the past but then allegedly it ‘cleared up’ in the past as well (I didn’t believe that doctor though) and ever since then I’ve gone years and years and years (10 years) being too scared to go get retested but thinking that I should... help I think I killed myself ??? letting myself go and binge eating fast food every single day because I’m depressed I live in an emotionally abusive house

Honestly I don’t know where to start. I cry myself to sleep last night in fear and pain. Praying to Jesus to take it and then I felt peace. The thoughts are - everything happens even if you do believe in God anyways so don’t -He isn’t real and you are just imagining when He saves your life -there is no God -is it just your viewpoint on life that’s fake And then I see people saying that with ocd you imagine God saying things. Except w/out God I am empty. And I got this sick feeling when I have these thoughts. And I just can’t anymore, I can’t do this anymore. Everyday gets worse and therapy says to mediate and I have every breathing and meditative process but none of it works. And whenever I set my emotions beside to think. Thoughts say Jesus is just words. I am depressed and can’t live alive anymore, my anxiety breaks me down when I’m home alone if ocd doesn’t- I’m so sacred someone will break in and kill me, I don’t wanna go to hell, and I don’t wnat to loose the people around me, I don’t know who I am w/out Jesus. And then the thoughts are saying it’s just faith in Jesus those things would have happens anyways. And I have picked up so many types of ocd- contamination, hoarding, I couldn’t breath or swallow without choking, hand washing till my hands were raw, pure o (scared I was going to rape little kids, kill family members, kill random people or mass amounts of people, thinking I’m lesbian, cursing God, inappropriate thoughts, rumination of good and bad, thoughts about allah (anti God thoughts) evolution thoughts. Checking doors every night or staying up at night so no one would come into our house and hurt us. When I was home alone I would sit w a knife so no one would hurt me. For a little bit I couldn’t stop cleaning at night. I couldn’t stop touching corners. I just can’t anymore. And I don’t know what to do. Now I’m having thoughts that I am going to get cancer or someone is going to kill me. And thoughts that God isn’t real. The depression gets so bad I think about quitting on things I love. I have no joyfilled feelings. I don’t wnat to be in this world I wnat to be w Jesus. He fills me up inside. But everyone I say that I think about how killing people could fill me up inside. The thoughts they never go away and once I do conquer one another theme comes. Idk what to do

Can you?

Hocd has messed up my ability to rationally think anything. Everything I do, say, talk, wear, every single thing my mind goes to the conclusion that I’m gay. When I see a woman I find attractive, my mind says I’m lying and I’m forcing my attraction where as before my attraction and desire for woman was so clear and natural, it felt so right. My thinking is messed up, even when I’m getting aroused my mind goes to the image and the thought that I’m getting aroused by men and I just get so upset. This is so tiring.

Does anyone else experience obsessions regarding a particular person? Where this person kind of takes up a lot of your time and you feel almost addicted to like looking at pictures of them or trying to be like them and stuff? It’s almost like theres a compulsion to find out things about them or see a picture of them or whatever. I usually find that these people are women who I admire (celebrities or people older/more accomplished than I am) and want to be like. I feel like a huge loser and a monster sometimes, and because these people are women it has greatly contributed to my HOCD.? Idk anyone could relate at all to this?

EXISTENTIAL OCD!! it’s completely ruined my life, any advice or help would be appreciated

Hey guys so this new thing my brain been doing with “ do human look weird to you “ things has been really messing me up . When I look at hands and feet it gives me anxiety if I’m thinking about while I’m looking at someone it gets me anxious. Does anyone know how to respond to this or how to move past it ? When I look in the mirror I get a lot anxious as well . It has also been causing lots of brain fog

I think I have OCD but am too scared to talk about it.

I know this sounds really stupid but I’m really scared I can predict the future. About a month and a half ago I read an article about a girl a few months ago felt like she was going to die soon and a few days later she got into a car accident and died. And straight after I started getting the same feeling that I was going to die soon, I’ve felt like it for about a month and a half now and it won’t go away. And for some reason my brain keeps telling its going to happen in October in a car accident and I’ve became scared of the number 3 and October is in 3 months, and I’ve never been scared of numbers before. I’ve also just read somewhere that some people can predict the future and see things happen before they do and now I’m really scared. I don’t know what to do because I just can’t get the feeling to go away. I’ve thought so many times that something bad was going to happen in certain situations before and nothing has ever happened so does sound like anxiety or could I possibly be able to predict the future and something bad is going to happen to me?

So my HOCD is quite worse. I was trying to do an exposure. I was looking at good looking guy to test arousal at my school. I was doing it for days. But now for few days my mind has been telling "he is your wife". Whenever i try to visualize getting intimate with my girlfriend friend. My mind goes would u cheat on your wife and that guys image comes in. Idk if its hocd anymore or i am in denial. Please can any one help or relate.