Welcome to
the NOCD Community

This is needing advice/ support and kinda a rant. I’ll keep it short. Life has been really stressful lately. I have ROCD. I question often if I love my husband. I also get very obsessive about my feelings (if I’m fully happy in life, if my emotions are being blunted by medicine, so forth). I have been working hard to overcome it, but sometimes with the way life is I have trouble. Our MIL had to move in with us. She’s disabled and can’t afford to live on her own. This has made her so depressed. She’s negative all the time. But she’s also very picky. She likes things her way. We are undergoing construction on our house and she keeps questioning the people and complaining. It drives my husband and I crazy. There are other stresses going on but not worth going into. My husband is getting fed up. Life has been so busy and stressful he’s feeling down. It makes me feel down, and puts me in an ocd/depressive cycle. I feel like I’m numb to life right now. I’m getting little enjoyment out of things. And when I do, it’s only on my own. I come home and home is just a ball of stress. Even when my husband is in a good mood, I just can’t get over what’s going on. I’m not talkative. I feel like being alone, I can’t enjoy our time together. It’s like I want to be mad and upset. It’s easier I think. I don’t know. Our 1 yr anniversary is coming up next month and it’s horrible but I feel like I don’t even wanna celebrate. We were so happy on our wedding day. And life since then has been non stop stress. I feel stuck guys. I don’t know what to do. Life is getting in the way of us being able to connect and be close. In the beginning I was positive and and strong, but I think I’m just worn out now. Of course my ocd loves to feed of the thoughts that I’m not happy and this means I don’t love my husband. And I’m doing ERP on it. But anyways that’s it. Anything anyone has to say is appreciated. Everyone on this sub is amazing.

Just wanted to vent a little bit. My OCD has come back terribly in the past few days. I feel like whenever I start talking to a girl I like, my HOCD and ROCD ramps up. I’m getting to the point where I don’t even want to talk to anyone, female or male. I don’t know what to do. Nobody around me even understands what I’m going through or treats it like it’s not a big deal. I have a young daughter and I feel like I can’t take care of her. I can’t hold a job, a relationship, friendship or anything else of value. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m slowly starting to lose my drive to live and I don’t know what to do. Any advice ?

So I’m about to enter the eleventh grade this year, in September, and I’ve started thinking about university and what I want to study; however, my OCD has been hard regarding the uncertainty revolving around the question of whether or not I’ll actually get into the university I want to get into. I don’t know how to deal with the stress! Does anyone have some tips? Thank you so much.

My parents wanna kick me out if I dont take my benzos. I dont know what to do. Due to OCD fears taking them is hard. Help.

Guys, do any of you take medication? If so, would you reccomended it and how does it make things better? Is there any side effects you have experienced?

TLDR: navigating responsibility OCD with obsessions about climate change and social justice. Does anyone else have obsessions around climate change and social justice? How do you separate what is a reasonable, ethical concern from what is an OCD reaction? For example, I bought dish towels today and am lying in bed feeling guilty because I bought them new (excessive consumerism) and because I'm worried they were made unsustainably or in a sweatshop. It's very hard to dismiss these as "ocd worries" because like, it's good to try to have a lower carbon footprint, and to try to be socially responsible! But I don't seem to have a response between "fuck the earth I guess" and "I did what was cheap/easy instead of what's responsible, so I'm as much a part of the problem as anyone, the planet is dying and people are suffering because of me, blah blah blah." Anyways, if anyone has tips on sticking to their morals without being overwhelmed by OCD let me know! I've only known I have it for about a year so I'm still figuring it out.

warning: sibling related stress, uncleanliness, new environment stress sooo my sister just moved in with me and she’s always been really messy since we were kids. i haven’t lived with her sense so this is the first time i knowingly have ocd while living with her and the messiness is eating me alive, not because of the stereotype that ocd folks are neat freaks but because cleaning is one of my most popular compulsions. she has the house in a constant messy state and it’s made it so difficult to avoid obsessions because i can’t compulse to make them go away- it’s too messy that i don’t even know where to begin. then it just causes more stress, which causes more obsessions and the cycle starts over again. any tips for me/ has anyone been in a similar experience?

Deep breathing, looking at art, and meditating helps me but I feel like I am betraying God and making excuses for it and having selective Christianity which is against my values in the first place so I’m also a hypocrite

Is it possible to seek reassurance from oneself? Because sometimes I try to combat my obsessive thoughts by telling myself, "this is just my OCD. There's no need to be anxious or upset over this unwanted thought. My OCD is telling me things that aren't true." Or if I have an intrusive thought, I'll tell myself, "this is just an intrusive thought, it doesn't reflect who I am as a person. Just because I'm having an intrusive thought about doing something awful doesn't mean I actually want to do that thing. It's just an intrusive thought, it doesn't say anything about my character or desires." Is it okay to do this, or is this another form of reassurance-seeking? I guess basically my question is, is it okay to comfort oneself and remind oneself of the truth, or is this a form of compulsion in itself? I'm just trying to figure out how to respond to my intrusive thoughts and obsessions in a healthy way.

Can anyone relate.... I get so worried sometimes (currently happening to me right now) that my boyfriend isn’t into me anymore. That he doesn’t enjoy our sex. That he doesn’t think I’m funny. That he doesn’t think I’m attractive. That he can’t see a future with me. That we’ve just outgrown each other. And I worry about it so freaking much that it’s like I go out of my way to LOOK for reasons that might signify that he’s not into me anymore.

I went through a hoe phase when I was 18 and I’ve never been tested for hepatitis because I’m too scared to. In a way I feel like it’d be better not to get tested because most people don’t get tested for that so if I had it and knew it would just cause too much emotional harm for what it’s worth. Then another part of me is like WELL MOST PEOPLE DON’T GET TESTED FOR IT BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE ARE STUPID AND THE REASON THE DOCTORS DON’T INCLUDE IT IN AN STD PANEL IS BECAUSE MOST DOCTORS ARE STUPID, BE BETTER THAN THESE IDIOTS AND TEST FOR IT ALLLL, IT’S YOUR HEALTH YOU HAVE TO KNOWWWW!!!!!!! I also hooked up with an older woman right before I went celibate and now I have the EXACT same train of thought about getting tested for herpes again like’ “What is a 59 year old woman with a FAMILY doing hooking up with a 21 year old woman at a bar??? She must be trashy, you probably got something from her!!!! You just ruined your future sex life FOREVERRRR and the head was trash too, good going idiot!!! Now you’ll never be able to have sex with your future boyfriend or husband and IF you do you’ll always be valueless and replaceable and he’ll cheat on you!!!” Ok this whole confession is embarrassing AS SHIT and trashy as hell and I’m super embarrassed to be putting this here, I was young and dumb and a fucking idiot, I’m genuinely SO happy I’m celibate now

Hi all. I was diagnosed with OCD last year. I have had ups and downs with managing my symptoms. I went through rough patches where anxiety was really bad. Now suddenly I feel a bit better so I’m trying to keep up the effort to maintain this slight progress. My question is. How did you make the decision on if you should try medication or not? I am a very indecisive person.

Question: what is the worst type of OCD.

I have Religious OCD and it's absolute torture. I'm always worried that I'm not saved or that I'm a terrible Christian, or that God is disappointed in me. I feel guilty almost constantly, and the only way to find relief is by seeking reassurance, either through Christian articles online, or through talking to my pastor. I'm sure my pastor is annoyed with me by now because every few weeks, I call and text him, urgently asking him for help. And now that I've discovered what ROCD/scrupulousity is, it's gotten much worse. At first, I was relieved to know that I'm not the only one who suffers from this, but then I started to realize that I compulsively seek reassurance. So now I feel guilty every time I pray or read Christian articles or talk to someone about my problems, because I'm terrified that I might be compulsively seeking reassurance. So now I've become obsessed over the fear of engaging in my compulsions! I don't know what to do. I just want to have a normal, functioning Christian life. I just want to stop living in constant fear and guilt. I would never kill myself, but sometimes I feel like life isn't worth living and I secretly hope I'll die in my sleep so that I won't have to live like this anymore. I just want to go to Heaven to be with my Jesus, where He will "wipe away every tear from [my] eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things [will] have passed away." I can't live like this anymore. Someone please help me.

Has anyone heard or tried using medical marijuana? I have been using the meds the doctor gave me and up and up the doses but still feeling the same, i was looking into other meds and options and saw articles saying it helped people with ocd. I’m thinking of going to my doctor to see what he thinks, but wanted to know if anyone on here has tried it?

Not saying let's all go off meds and try lifestyle changes, meditation, and yoga, but how many of us can say we've actually tried all that in conjunction with our meds and still haven't achieved the desired results? If you can't feel exponentially better for improving every aspect of your health in combination with medication, then there's probably a common factor contributing to your suffering. It's your prerogative and your responsibility, to yourselves and others, to get answers and get better so that the human race has a chance at survival. You know what the last symptom of depression is? Death. This should never be the outcome of a treatable condition. If you're not willing to explore every possible avenue for alleviating your symptoms and healing your illness, you can't expect anyone else to either.

Okay, Now I’m really scared that my future kids will be born with OCD because of me :(

I let my health go too long and now I’m losing feeling in my feet and I’m not sure if me thinking I have diabetic neuropathy is ocd or a genuine concern... freaking the fuck out I have ALLL the symptoms n I’m pretty sure I’m diabetic because I HAVE been type 2 in the past but then allegedly it ‘cleared up’ in the past as well (I didn’t believe that doctor though) and ever since then I’ve gone years and years and years (10 years) being too scared to go get retested but thinking that I should... help I think I killed myself ??? letting myself go and binge eating fast food every single day because I’m depressed I live in an emotionally abusive house

Honestly I don’t know where to start. I cry myself to sleep last night in fear and pain. Praying to Jesus to take it and then I felt peace. The thoughts are - everything happens even if you do believe in God anyways so don’t -He isn’t real and you are just imagining when He saves your life -there is no God -is it just your viewpoint on life that’s fake And then I see people saying that with ocd you imagine God saying things. Except w/out God I am empty. And I got this sick feeling when I have these thoughts. And I just can’t anymore, I can’t do this anymore. Everyday gets worse and therapy says to mediate and I have every breathing and meditative process but none of it works. And whenever I set my emotions beside to think. Thoughts say Jesus is just words. I am depressed and can’t live alive anymore, my anxiety breaks me down when I’m home alone if ocd doesn’t- I’m so sacred someone will break in and kill me, I don’t wanna go to hell, and I don’t wnat to loose the people around me, I don’t know who I am w/out Jesus. And then the thoughts are saying it’s just faith in Jesus those things would have happens anyways. And I have picked up so many types of ocd- contamination, hoarding, I couldn’t breath or swallow without choking, hand washing till my hands were raw, pure o (scared I was going to rape little kids, kill family members, kill random people or mass amounts of people, thinking I’m lesbian, cursing God, inappropriate thoughts, rumination of good and bad, thoughts about allah (anti God thoughts) evolution thoughts. Checking doors every night or staying up at night so no one would come into our house and hurt us. When I was home alone I would sit w a knife so no one would hurt me. For a little bit I couldn’t stop cleaning at night. I couldn’t stop touching corners. I just can’t anymore. And I don’t know what to do. Now I’m having thoughts that I am going to get cancer or someone is going to kill me. And thoughts that God isn’t real. The depression gets so bad I think about quitting on things I love. I have no joyfilled feelings. I don’t wnat to be in this world I wnat to be w Jesus. He fills me up inside. But everyone I say that I think about how killing people could fill me up inside. The thoughts they never go away and once I do conquer one another theme comes. Idk what to do

Can you?