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Anyone else scared to take an SSRI sand you have gotten past it and the med actually helped? I’m so nervous to take my lexapro. I know I want to try but what if I have a panic attack or something?

How did you master not mental reviewing and ruminating on bothersome thoughts?

Good evening my amazing fellow OCDieties. Wanted to reach out and ask a few questions and if ppl would like to share their experiences that be great but if not and just want to read and see others’ that’s just fine too. 1) when you find peace during our OCD what does it feel like to you? Does it make you want to do anything? 2) even non-OCD ppl experience loneliness and depression and destructive rage. Do you feel more isolated you think than them? Do you feel like no one understand you? If so do you think it’s because of your OCD or you as an individual. 3) what’s your aspirations in this world? What amps you up (even if it’s fleeting) about life? What motivates you to overcome OCD? My responses 1) it feels like pure bliss. Honestly experiencing OCD at such a young age and getting this peace just showered over my body and I literally do not have a care in the world. Everything is perfect because this peace is absolutely amazing and I will never take it for granted. It makes me just enjoy EVERYTHING. I have limitless energy and it just makes me want to be in the world expressing me 2) I have felt lonely for along time. Not that I’ve ever been one but definitely lonely. Always black sheepin’. I don’t believe it’s because of my OCD however it definitely hasn’t helped. I do believe some of my thought patterns and ruminating has been a gift of great power but one I was never in control of. Not along have I searched for knowledge and reassurance because of my OCD it has made me learn so much of the world. Personally I always loved learning so my OCD for me is like an extension of myself in a less controlled beneficial form. It has greatly amplified my compassion, understanding, and kindness towards others and idk who’s I be without that. The whole “what if this happened or what if they think this or that or did that even happen” was all glimpses for me of how big my world is and how much I wanted to step up and understand it and be a part of it. 3) I want to impact ppl. Not necessarily world wide or even country or state. I just want to be a difference for ppl. I want to be a hero. I want to be able to bring something to this world for others. Because without anyone else in this world even if I have never had any issues I would remain lonely. I didn’t build my apartment, my car, I didn’t give birth to my family, friends, make the amazing food that I love until I had for the first time. All these things were done by those who came before and those are here now. I just want to give back. Being there for someone even if it’s a random conversation with a stranger. Just being some light amps me up for how many ppl were and are a light for me. I’m Motivated to be a healthy stronger version of myself so I can give back more and not be halted and get in the way of myself anymore. So I can be there/here in this world and give the world me. Thanks for reading

I don't know how to explain this but for some time now I've noticed that people don't like to spend time with me, apparently I make them uncomfortable and I bore them. I really don't know what I'm doing wrong. I try to do what others like even if I don't like it, but they still don't like me. Unlike my brother who has fun with everyone and everyone loves to be with him. I don't know what to do I haven't had any friends for years, no one to talk to, that's why I talk to myself all the time and I don't know what else to do!? I've been alone for so long that when I talk to myself it already feels natural, I even answer myself as if I were talking to someone. Before it seemed normal to me but some relatives listened to me and asked me if I was okay since apparently it is not normal for them!! but I do not know what to do!! It's hard to find a friend but the truth is that I don't care anymore, I even find people irritable, to the point of hating every moment I spend with them!!

My period havent come in a week and im scare im might be pregnant even thought I HAVE NEVER had sex like any type of physical sex with anybody like ever but im so scare and i want to buy a oregnancy test cuz my ocd and my brain keeps saying what if im pregnant when im literally a virgen but why I haven’t get my period im so scar

Perhaps I'm just in one of my moods, but it seems like something just clicked. Something so basic that it seems impossible I could have missed it after years of therapy. I have heard OCD/obsessions described as fears of this or that and often described my own symptoms that way. Somehow I never realized or said what that meant -- I am afraid.

I know I am reassurance seeking but my cat has difficulty breathing sometimes, it almost sounds like she’s wheezing or coughing or trying to hack up a hairball but I feel guilty because I only messaged the vet the first time it happened for the last fall and it seemed to resolve but after that it continued to happen occasionally like maybe once every few months and I didn’t message them again since the first time and I feel like a neglectful pet parent for not messaging the vet until now. The only reason I messaged them right now though was because I randomly thought of it and started feeling anxious and guilty. I used to message the vet a lot whenever anything seemed to be wrong with my cat but then my anxiety about it got somewhat better and I stopped doing it so much but google says that cat asthma can be life threatening and I’m afraid I’m putting her at harm for not doing something for all that time. And she has had a lot of health issues since I got her last September and I feel like it’s somehow my fault and that I’m neglecting her for not playing with her with her toys very often

I don't think I'm going to be here much longer to be honest. I feel like I've lost. I'm eternally grateful that I had over a decade where whatever this is temporarily rescinded, but my life's over. Pretty sure my wife's lost interest now after the strain of whatever I'm suffering with has put us in. I don't blame her. I love her, will always love her. Her and my kids are my whole world. But I can't see any future ahead for me. Even if this is OCD, I'll never mentally recover from what's happening. If it isn't OCD, I'll never be able to accept myself. Or forgive myself for what I've put my wife through in her life. Because of years of bad mental health I haven't worked properly for years and have no skills to use. I can't provide for my family. I'm useless, a fuck up and the world would be better off without me. I'm done. I lost. I want out of this.

Hello everyone it’s my birthday and I can’t stop ruminating, haha, I’m not sure why I feel sad if everything is going I guess pretty well. I keep ruminating and overthinking about this one person and stuff, we cleared things about how we feel and it made me and them feel happy but my brain keeps telling me I’m not good enough for them and that things won’t go well or something, I really hate having these thoughts because I know I should be alright but it’s all making me sad.

I’ve been EXTREMELY stressed for the past two months and I’ve developed some strange new symptoms. Lately I’ve been REALLY DEEP in the psychosis fear/theme rabbit hole, obsessing over thinking I might be in the prodromal stage of schizophrenia or something. Having panic attacks over it. During the day I’m having random gibberish strings of thoughts that make no sense or have any relevance to the task I’m doing. It is just completely random phrases or words or even songs snippets that I don’t even feel like I was consciously thinking of, they just come out of nowhere. It’s exactly the kind of nonsense thoughts you get just before you fall asleep or when you wake up. It is literally word salad/disorganized thinking. It’s terrifying me. It’s not 24/7 but it’s happening often for the past 3 days. Another strange symptom I’ve been having is, feeling like almost every stranger looks familiar, or certain things but mostly random people look familiar. Like in my head in the supermarket I’ll be like “hey that guy looks like so and so” or wow “she really looks like that one girl I know” these symptoms are really freaking me out. On top of all this I’m getting intense depersonalization/de realization. Any kind words? Or anyone can relate?

I've had OCD since I was a child (I am 56 now) but only found out in past year or so and that it is Scrupulosity. My whole christian life has been about performance so God would stay. I started doing ERP 2 weeks ago, and though my anxiety is down some the thought that God has left me just pounds in my head. I'm not exactly sure how ERP works, it's so new to me. But does anxiety go down and eventually thoughts follow? Everyone that I've talked to says that has Scrupulosity and does ERP says their relationship with God is so much better. know 2 weeks of ERP isn't a long time to see results I don't guess.

I told someone who i think knows more about ocd than me that i have a problem with what should i do, what am i allowed to do as a christian, that i dont want to be mean, or i dont want to offend people, and that gets so strong when i love someone. When im with a person who is so kind and loving and i just feel bad offending that person, so im obssesively afraid that what i did made that person feel bad. I dont want to let go someone who i really love. Another one is being a christian i think its hard cause people expect you to be holy. And im guilty for that to cause i get angry when i see someone who claims that he is a christian doing something that doesnt fits to to being a christian. So i always question when i do something if its a sin cause i dont want to be a fake christian. I know we are saved if we accept Jesus as our savior, but im still worried about things that i do are sins cause i dont want to be a fake christian...so the person i told this said to me i have to notice these thoughts and i have to dismiss them cause its all ocd, and i said "but i value being a kind person" and she said then continue doing what you do... So what? Should i be harsh with people if i feel like cause im just a human? Cause im not perfect? Should i accept that now i was offensive but it is what it is... i value being kind man... i see that partly she is right tho cause this can become an obsession, but i value being kind...not sure if because i have a fear behind it but i dont want to think about that cause i will just overthink it... So me being kind is ocd? Also i would like if i would get an aswer to this to. I read somewhere that youre only sinning if you really want to achieve something that goes agaisnt God. I always wonder if i do this cause when i meet a girl that i start to like i have this strong feeling that i have to do something to make her like me(normal thing that all males do) and im a funny guy so i try to do it with saying jokes. But some jokes can go against God but i still find them funny and then im like im not sinning with this cause its just jokes, but i feel like i am and i avoiding accepting it that its a sin so i feel worse about myself... what to do in these situations?

I don’t remember the full context but one time me and my boyfriend were talking about my OCD when there was some issue we had related to it. My therapist isn’t fully convinced that I have it even though I fit pretty much every symptom of ROCD and I had OCD tendencies when I was a kid and my sister who is diagnosed with OCD swears that I have it. Anyways, my bf and I were talking about the fact that my therapist doesn’t fully think I have it and I think he said something like “It makes me think that…” and I said “I’m just being delusional?” And he said “yeah” and I didn’t get mad at him for it at the time, I just kinda sadly agreed that I worry about that. But sometimes I remember that interaction and it makes me worried that it was mean of him to agree with it. Because of the fact that I wasn’t properly diagnosed and probably partly because of this, whenever I tell him that I’m going through a bout of OCD I feel like I’m being disingenuous or delusional or something by stating that I have it. :( but I always bring up problems from the past and my bf is absolutely tired of me doing that so I know it probably will cause some sort of conflict if I do

Does anyone find that when you meet a boy and start talking and start liking him that your OCD gets triggered because mine keeps telling me that I’m not attracted to him and makes me question everything. It also doesn’t help when it causes me to take conversations the wrong way I also find That my SO-OcD is more triggered during this and I hate it because that causes me to loose some attraction

Hello Everyone 👋, I hope youa re all doing well for yourselves. This post is going to be a long one, but it's the biggest battle for me so far. I would love and appreciate some help. It revolves around hell and whether me and my family are going to get a horrible punishment when we die. Before OCD got worse, I used to not be majorly religious but still consider myself a Sikh (An Indian Religion) in terms of my identity. I would pray to a 'God' for help and support as it was comforting to have someone out there. Now, I'm worried crazily about questions such as theese - Is there a hell? If I'm not Christian will I go to hell? Am I a good person? Will I suffer forever? My relative downloads pirated movies and games from the internet and I enjoy them, am I going to suffer forever? Do I need to become a Christian? Do I need an Abrahamic Faith? What if I die with the wrong faith? Will I suffer horrible torture and my family? What if I need a religion? Do I deserve to be happy? Is it just my condition, or am I going to disrespect a God? Am I going to hell in the next second? Maybe there is no punishment for me, maybe there is? Will I go to hell if I watch porn? I eat meat, will I go to hell? I enjoy violent video games, will I suffer? Do I need to accept Jesus of Mohammed, or will I suffer forever? Are my family going to hell? What comes after death? Does God hate me? Is there a God? I'm not expecting answers to any of these questions, but I just put them here to illustrate my thought processes. Do they sound like OCD thoughts? There is a constant fear for me to try my uncertainty strategies, because I feel like I'm going to to disrespect an angry god at the end of it, or there is a horrible punishment for me, my family and the people that I love at the end of it. When my OCD got bad, I began to pray to a higher power for desperate help. My OCD didn't kick off again with religious thoughts, it started with the worry that I accidentally broke the law with child p*rn (I didn't, this worry is ok now) Does this get better? I'm so scared. Right now I'm trying some of the exposure things - looking at pictures of hell and then going about my day, accepting all the thoughts that come into my head, using phrases like, maybe I deserve hell, maybe I don't. I'm just a regular kid, who enjoys books and life. I love and respect all the beautiful religions of the world. Before, I used to be able to deal with this concept quite naturally, even pondering hell just as a passing thought. I believe everyone should be peaceful and live together in harmony. I think if you were to devote your life to being Christian, Muslim or anything else, you would lead a happy and beautiful life. I'm really scared, some help would be appreciated. I know this ends with me finding my own path. I would want to go back to worshipping a God out of love and not fear of internal torture. Thank you for all your continued help so far. There is some good news - it looks like I'm going to get OCD therapy very soon. How can this get better if the threat of an enternal punishment is constantly ahead of me? I feel like I'm questioning every single action I do. Love you all, thank you for your continued support. XXX

I don't feel that much of false attraction anymore and I've started to feel that sparkle when I see women again but I'm afraid that I'll start to get false attraction and lose my attraction again and this is keeping me stuck, I'm afraid it will get back again I just can't forget about this ocd, even if i don't feel that false attraction I get reminder of my ocd and I start to think if i look at that guy too much ocd might get back again so I'm still afraid, what should I do any suggestions???please

I also have pocd and real events OCD regarding explicit anime/explicit cartoon content too… i didnt regard characters age and appearance at the time (i was 17-18) and i didnt know what the content was or what it represented and some of the creators said the characters that were underage in canon, were 18+ in the content, so I thought they were safe to watch… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… The explicit anime characters looked and were really young… and i avoided most of the content… but i thought some of the content wasnt Pediphilic because they were on public explicit sites and had millions of views… I didnt know how horrible the content was or what it represented… I assumed that some of the content was safe to look at because it was on public sites and had millions of views… i didnt know that this content was or what it represented… but doing my research made me gag and puke… i dont ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… they were anime characters that looked extremely young… i didnt know how horrible the content was or what it represented… I… I looked at homosexual explicit anime content a couple times when i was 14… I had no idea what sexuality was at the time… and my hocd has triggered me with it… I had no idea what sexuality was at the time and i was also addicted to explicit content at the time… i dont ever want to be homosexual or bisexual at all… in any way… and this is POCD related too because this was a very wide known explicit anime that involved very young characters… i dont ever want to ever be a P or a chomo at all in any way… I remember when i pleasured myself to explicit content involving a man and a woman when i was 12-13… and i finished at the same time the dude did… my hocd is saying im in denial for this… I had no idea what sexuality was or anything like that… my first ever crush was a woman and i always want it to be women… i dont ever want to be attracted to men in any way shape or form… It was an educational video, so it was showing his privates finishing inside of the woman... i dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all… Its making me feel like im not anxious of triggering thoughts when i try to check my reaction too… i dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all… When i think about beautiful attractive women, i feel happy and relaxed… actually comfortable… when i see guys, get intrusive thoughts about guys, or intrusive feelings, it makes me feel so anxious and uncomfortable… Its making me think i wanted to finish at the same time as the guy in the video… i dont think i was attracted to him because when he moaned in the video i remember feeling turned off by it… i dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all… I remember finishing when the guy did… his privates were shown when he was finishing… i dont ever want to ever be attracted to guys in any way shape or form in my lifetime… I also remember that i wasnt attracted to the guy at all… I just wanted to finish when he did because I wanted to keep up the same pace… I dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all…

Hi I suffer from devil ocd and anytime I have a idea outside the box my head says it was influenced by the devil now I can't do that idea our I'm cursed and have givin myself to the devil please any help or similar things happen any advice needed

I’m having a rough go of getting to sleep. My thoughts have been very active tonight.

recently In the place I live in there is a man who rapped his own child on the lose. Cops looking for him everywhere ofc! But, since this pig lived soo near me.. I feel scared.. idk if it’s OCD or if I’m naturally freaked out but.. I just feel like he gon pop up in my home In need to hide or to kill me bc they say he’s armed like I don’t even want to walk to my bus stop bc he could be near. I keep remembering how there was a massacre in Texas elementary school not so long ago & im scared that’s gon happen to me when I start school. I am completely scared. Then also too, two youn girls were kidnapped & killed not over a month ago & I keep asking myself what happens after death & the question constantly feels scary to think about. I keep imagining how it would be if I was dead, I keep questioning what were those girls going through what did they feel, will that happen to me? I keep imagining myself going through some sort of suffering then dying. :/ I’m panicked, I feel a pain in my chest.