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My ocd is making a gut feeling that I would do the things I fear if put in the situation. I don’t know if this is ocd but I used to be sure I wouldn’t

1. Has to move forward in the car 2. Doesn’t like seeing reflection 3. Doesn’t like 1pm (cause of the 13th hour) 4. Doesn’t like 6pm 5. Doesn’t like the number 13 6. Doesn’t like the number 6 ( not as bad anymore ) 7. Has to go outside for 12am 8. Can’t go to bed until after 12am 9. Can’t go over level crossings 10. Can’t go under bridges or train bridges 11. Doesn’t like certain road names 12. Has to have window open in the car if eating 13. Doesn’t like negative tv programmes/news/docs 14. Doesn’t like old places 15. Doesn’t like certain songs 16. Can’t eat in places if they say certain things on the menu 17. Doesn’t like certain words/sayings 18. Doesn’t like knives 19. Sometimes swaps chairs or tables when out for a meal 20. Doesn’t like the colour red or black 21. I can’t wear certain clothes/t shirts ( usually anything with words on ) 22. Has to wear certain clothes to drive his car in 23. Can’t use the water in certain places 24. Can’t eat food in/from certain places 25. Can’t get own money out ( I have to ) 26. Can’t pay for things ( I have to ) 27. Can’t drive through a ‘welcome to’ sign talking 28. Has to go the same way back that he went somewhere 29. Doesn’t like phones/tablets 30. Doesn’t like phone chargers touching certain things 31. Has to use certain till to pay for things 32. Has to get out onto curb when getting out of car 33. Doesn’t like certain supermarkets 34. Doesn’t eat without me 35. Doesn’t like police 36. Doesn’t like ambulances 37. Doesn’t like anything to do with charity (negative) 38. Doesn’t like hoods/hoods up 39. Has to get out of bed before I go out/work 40. Doesn’t like tunnels ( especially water ones ) 41. Doesn’t like going under bridges/railway bridges 42. Doesn’t like having his picture taken or being in them 43. Doesn’t like things being paid for by phone 44. Rewinds and forwards the tele 45. Has to watch certain programme to turn the tele off to 46. Doesn’t like seeing food he likes on the tele/adverts .. has to fix it 47. Has to eat something when he gets up and before bed 48. Doesn’t go to certain places from his past 49. Doesn’t like certain things associated with his past 50. Has to go out first through doors 51. Can’t use phone in his car 52. Doesn’t like 3am (witching hour) 53. Has to go on and off the drive 54. Has to go outside/in the car every day 55. Doesn’t like outside noise ( building work ) 56. Doesn’t like the tele on whilst getting up/ when cooking 57. Has to touch my arm when he gets into bed. 58. I’m not allowed to be turned away when he gets into bed or have my eyes shut 59. Likes people to be quiet when walking in and out of the house 60. Doesn’t like my watch (digital ) 61. I have to control the tele 62. Can’t watch a program without putting 2 or 3 other things on afterwards 63. Can only turn tele off on certain channels 64. Has to get changed into different clothes, house clothes - tele clothes - going out clothes - cooking clothes 65. Makes me do rituals like he would 66. Makes me open food/packets 67. Doesn’t like people talking to him whilst holding cigarette packets or knives etc 68. Can’t do things in threes 69. Asks me to sit before and after I need a wee 70. Makes me change my socks 2-3 times a day 71. Makes me go out the front door like he does because he says about us getting out the house before it’s dark 72. Makes me have a snack before we leave the house if we are going to get a snack and drink 73. Has to go and fix things if it’s done three times 74. Doesn’t like the number 25 or 30 or 7 and a few more which I can’t remember 75. Can’t do most other things if a wash is on ( like making a cup of tea )

My boyfriend of five years has a female friend he’s known longer than me and they’ve had a history of feelings for each other. Two years ago she told him she liked him and that confused our relationship but he stayed with me, but then for basically a year from then he was pretty much emotionally cheating on me until last summer when we ended up breaking up. While this break up ended up being temporary and we got back together and have been more committed to each other, during the time we were apart he spent much more time with her and they kissed. He said that made him realise it was me he wanted to be with, but it’s really hard for me to get over that. My OCD has latched into this and I definitely obsess about it too much and get intrusive thoughts about them together and stuff, but is it a genuine valid concern to not want him to be friends with her still? He doesn’t see her in person because she’s at uni far away and when she is back home near ish to him and asks to do stuff he’s said no because of how much everything with her has hurt me, but I know that they message fairly frequently and she confides in him about stuff in her life. It makes me feel so anxious and scared that everything that happened before will happen again, and it’s really hard to trust him when he says it won’t happen again because he said that about what happened two years ago and then last year it happened again. But I really don’t know if it’s my OCD or something I’m valid in being worried about.

So I think this is what I'm struggling with the most and more than likely what got me in this mess to begin with. When my OCD first took hold 4 years ago I was in a serious relationship with a girl who I loved as a person but I really wasnt happy with. I wont go into all of the reasons but it had become more and more apparent that we weren't compatiable and we wanted different things in life. I was feeling like this for quite a few months but rather than end the relationship I stayed (probably because I didn't want to hurt her and I was afraid of being alone) We finished about a year later but I look back now and see with even more clarity that I should of finished it sooner and that I am as certain as I can possibly can be that my feelings for wanting to finish the relationship were genuine and not ocd Now I see a lot of people on here asking questions about whether there unhappiness with there partner is OCD or not so my question is how to know when somethimg you're thinking or feeling is OCD or not?

Had an intrusive dream and then woke up very anxious. So I compulsively started googling ( I wish I didn’t ) and saw an article that says some dreams come true in real life. That article also provides evidences about it. I am so terrified now I can’t stop crying. I couldn’t sleep the whole night also.

Just learned a character I like who's over 1000 years old is supposed to be physically around 17. Believe it or not this happens to me a lot. I crush on a character who looks and acts like an adult, is hundreds or thousands of years old — and then I randomly find out online they're supposed to look 17 or something like that and I feel disgusting. Technically some sources are saying he's physically an adult. It doesn't matter, my OCD is latching onto it regardless. Stuff like this is horrible for my OCD. and I always feel safe because they're way older than me but somehow it always gets turned around on me. I just feel kinda gross. It sucks because I was really getting into this series and learning about this character but I'm gonna have to just stop consuming it for the sake of my mental health.

I’ve recently been having a lot of distress about my relationship and things surrounding it due to OCD. I was wondering if you have OCD, how does it present itself in your relationship(s) (thoughts, feelings, urges, images, etc)?

Tw: mentions of eating disorders/ possible abuse/ suicidal thoughts Hello, im non binary and go by they/them. i have never been formally diagnosed with OCD, but ive done my research and i resonate a lot with the symptoms and the stories. if i say anything that is considered ignorant or misinformed please let me know. i only want to understand what im going through better, and don't want to hurt anyone. Thank you i was doing good for a while. i was getting better with my depression, and i had seemed to find a way to help myself when my (possible) OCD got triggered. i would tell my intrusive thoughts "whatever you say" or "thank you so much, but thats not what im talking about" and moved on. it was working, and i was writing down my feelings. i even started to sit with my intrusive feelings and they started to fade away. i was ok til this past weekend when it all got really bad again. i started to question if i was cheating on my boyfriend. i hugged my friends at my towns carnival and thought i was cheating on him bc he was out of town, and started to panic. i got thoughts like "youre cheating on him. you let someone else wrap their arms around you and you liked it. youre cheating on him and will have to tell him when he gets home." i got intrusive thougths while my two guy friends drove me home after i got sick at the carnival. they (my intrusive thoughts) told me i wanted to do intimate things with them and i felt so much shame and disgust bc i knew i didnt want to (and didnt). i laid down and had a nightmare that night of sleeping with someone other than my boyfriend and woke up really upset. i started to try to reassure myself, but made myself stop bc ik it makes it all worse. i felt so bad texting my boyfriend after the nightmare too. i didn't like it. i wanted to confess to him what happened, but didnt. i just wanted some reassurance, but didnt give it to myself. i wanted to repeat my little phrase "i love my boyfriend, and would never cheat on him. im not that kind of person, and never will be. i love him, and am confident in that. he loves me too" to calm myself down, but again i didnt. i just feel so lost. i was doing so good, then all of this happens (and some more, but id rather keep that private for now). i think my (possible) OCD spiked being around around my parent. they arent the best, and i moved out a month ago for my safety. i visit them on weekends because i was told i have to "keep the peace and rebuild my relationship with them". i dont really want to, but im doing what i have to for my family. i dont really know how to start getting better again. my eating disorder has gotten worse, sleep has been harder, and my depressive episode got a lot worse too. i dont know what to so and feel so alone and lost. like ill never actually make it and im doing all of this for nothing. my suicidal thoughts have started again too, but im not gonna do anything bc i know i can and will get through this. im just so very tired. i was so drained today from crying i laid in bed and watch shows on Netflix. i feel so ashamed for being back here again. thank you for reading this far. i wish i could express how truly grateful i am through text, but thats kinda hard. but truly thank you so very much. i know im personally having a hard time, but i know we are all going to get through this together ❤️

Been trying to stay off this app but I’ve hit a wall today… not long woke up and just feeling so overwhelmed by thoughts… I know thoughts are just “thoughts” but when you suffer with ocd it makes you question every single moral and thing about yourself. I had an intrusive thought come in that said “I wish I hadn’t gotten with anyone attractive in my past” while it’s putting images of their bodies/body parts in my head saying “that’s attractive” or something like that… like um I genuinely wish I hadn’t had a past with ANYONE… I’m not trying to think these things… I hate when it puts images in my head like someone’s body or body part, I don’t want to think that. I’m totally committed to my boyfriend and it makes me feel so immoral and wrong, I wouldn’t even look sideways at another person let alone think this way about people from my past… they are not relevant to me. And I am faithful and loyal x a million… I just want to curl up in a ball and cry but I have to be up and look after my daughter, with tears in my eyes. I don’t know and can’t help what I may have thought of people from my past when I was with them, that is my PAST, I obviously may have thought they were attractive and thought stuff of their body etc when I was with them, but that isn’t what I want to think now… when I met my boyfriend I was so in love with him so quickly, truly never felt that way about anyone else, he made me realise he was the person I was searching for my whole life. I didn’t have ocd when I met him, I was somewhat “normal” just quite insecure, I did not have these types of thoughts going through my head. I have quite a big past and it will list every single individual person and put images in my head, saying stuff about them or their body/body parts or about how I may have felt in the past… this is so draining and I’m in tears writing this, because I just want my life back before this happened. It feels like you’re in a bad dream trying to run away from This monster and you can’t control anything. How could I be thinking something truly if it makes me want to scream and cry and I’m hitting myself in the face at times trying to make it stop!! I wish I never had a past, I may still have intrusive thoughts but maybe it wouldn’t be like this. Does anyone else experience this while in a relationship. I know how draining it is for me, but my partner too who has put up with so many confessions which I’m trying to stop because I’ve just started again after us breaking up months ago over the constant confessions… I hate this illness and literally just feel like crying all the time, it’s evil, and wants to torture you. How can I not be upset over these types of thoughts when they’re the total opposite of me. I don’t have enough money for a therapist, I started seeing a NOCD therapist but had to stop because they don’t offer Medicare yet in Australia. I feel so alone and sad and I’m balling my eyes out.

I think I have real event or moral scrupulosity OCD for sure because I keep remembering something I did at 19 two years ago - it was something I knew was kind of not okay and so I did it discreetly without others knowing, but I don’t think it registered how bad it was until more recently this year. I keep thinking about why I did it and maybe it’s not the same as people who would do it for completely selfish and bad reasons (I think it might have been a compulsive behavior at the time), but it still wasn’t okay! Then again, maybe I’m deflecting - maybe I was being selfish in a way. The people around me didn’t give the okay for that, so why did I do it!! They don’t know I did it because I hid it and I didn’t do anything directly to them, but that really doesn’t make it any better. I feel like such a POS and it’s probably because I am one. I also worry I did it a second time, but I can’t remember and it upsets me so much. With my other OCD issues, I haven’t done any of the things that I’ve obsessed about (though I worry I will, especially when thinking about how I did this), but I actually did do something here, and I shouldn’t have done it. But maybe it’s not OCD - maybe I just deserve to feel guilty for this. Maybe I’m right and I’m a terrible human being who should be forever haunted by what I did. I kind of just want to die now… I don’t feel even the least bit redeemable, like why did I do that… I think my life might be over and I don’t deserve to have friends or people who care about me because honestly, that was super wrong and I don’t know if there’s any coming back from that 😞 I keep thinking about how if something bad happens to me, I’ll deserve it. Or how maybe I should punish myself somehow. I don’t know what to do because I don’t think I can atone in any way and I can’t go on feeling like I don’t deserve to live.

How is it even possible to move on knowing you did something so horrible ? I am reminded of it so frequently and I just can’t even imagine how much my childhood friend is hurting.

If you aren't, please leave a comment

How do you talk to your OCD intrusive thoughts on a productive way? I can’t help but be scared by them, which I know just reinforces the cycle. What has worked for you?

I've recently have had themes, switch lately, so many questions in my head all day long, and the one that is making me super anxious lately that my mind has latched onto is fear of psychosis or going crazy, my mind has been throwing random thoughts of my wife being a witch and casting spells on me, now I know that this is ridiculous, but I work in an office and have alot of down time and it's like everytime I get that thought, I feel a rush of anxiety, my head starts tingling and I feel that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach, and start panicking, I think I'm just freaking myself out and I think the reason why I latched onto such a ridiculous random idea is because my wife has said she has always been interested in this sort of thing and my daughter has bought books in the past on casting spells, still it has been really getting me thinking and panicking about having delusions and that in itself makes me nervous, but again I can see it for what it is, and I think it's just my OCD causing my anxious thoughts, just wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar?

It feels like now im for sure attracted and im just hiding it but i still don’t want it

Today has been a rough morning. I’ve been doing a lot of googling… a lot of online quizzes… I can’t put my phone down. I saw an attractive girl who was very masculine (and lesbian) last night on TikTok and I got anxiety and blocked her immediately. Is she “hot” or is she “pretty”? I wouldn’t categorize her as pretty because she looks like a man. So that must mean I think she’s hot. If I think she’s hot, that must mean I think masculine women are hot and I want to be with one. This morning I woke up and unblocked her to see if I actually thought she was attractive and if the anxiety I felt was anxiety and not the “lightning bolt” feeling people talk about getting when they see someone attractive. I went through the comments to see if there were any straight woman commenting on her attractiveness. There were, so that was relieving. I watched her a few of her videos until I felt good enough that I would not want to be with her.

For those who have conquered or healed from soocd, I know most do ERP but how do you know the difference from acceptance and doing it to calm down your anxiety and ocd. Do you ever fully recover? Doing erp seems like an acceptance of the denial. Someone please help. I’ve been struggling with SOOCD for 2 months because of my dreams. And ROCD goes along with it. I can’t see myself being with a woman at all and I don’t want to be at all, it’s just not me and it never has been. I never questioned my sexuality ever until these dream’s happened and then I dug myself a deep hole because of it. I’m also 18 years old and in a 1 and a half relationship with my amazing boyfriend. My mind is going through so much, someone please explain to me all of this and why just why. I don’t care if this is reassurance I just simply don’t understand why this is all of a sudden.

I visited her over the summer and I had the best time but before I went back I started feeling numb and dissociated. Like I had no feelings, I am back at school and I feel the same way worse even. I feel nothing, I have thoughts like I don’t love her anymore and I feel urges to break up. I have been fantasizing about someone and anytime I see that person my brain is telling me to check if she is pretty, staring at her. I also feel attracted to most girls, I have thoughts that I should experience college life even though deep down I know I don’t want to. It is so difficult because I feel nothing to what my girlfriend says, all I could say is that I am sorry. Even when I say that I struggle to, my mind makes me think I don’t want to be be back to normal and it feels so real it is scary. The same thing happened last year too. I got to school and I started fantasizing about being with someone else, I followed that person and once I knew she didn’t have any interest I was back to sort of normalcy. I don’t know what to do. It is overwhelming. I am still feeling this way and my girlfriend decided to take a break because she is unhappy about what I say about my thoughts brings her confidence about herself down, I feel nothing towards her. have thoughts that I am a manipulator and narcissist, thoughts that I don't care about breaking up, that she is fat, not attractive, etc and that I can just move on and date other people or live the typical college life or download dating apps and engage in hooking up with people. I also have thoughts about people performing oral sex a certain way that I want it to be like, anytime I see a girl my mind thinks oh she can probably give a good oral sex then I have the image of how it would be in my head, I also have this fetish/kink with acrylic nails that if a girl has it my mind start to fantasize about the person performing oral sex on my with the nails or having sex with them. I am not sure if this is because of watching 🌽. Anyone else feeling like this or have experienced this?

I have ocd over taking meds. And my ocd makes me second guess or change my mind constantly. I’ve been batttling this for almost six months. I was put in zoloft 200 mg right away six weeks ago. I am also in Klonopin which is freaking me out bc I want off of it so badly. Four weeks into treatment my psych added remeron 15 mg. With the 200 mg I’ve had diarrhea and tremors, which I can’t decide it it’s anxiety or the meds. I also cried a lot those first few weeks. My doctor told me I could lower my dose to 150. Now I can’t stop ruminating over whether I should have stayed with the 200 or not. This is week six. All I can think about is whether or not to go back up to 200, which mh psych did give me permission to do. Ugh! I’m a mess and not just relaxing and letting the meds work. Anyone else struggle with these thoughts?

I have people pleasing OCD and I always avoid conflicts with people who are mean, so I’m trying to face mean people as an ERP. One hour ago a girl in our major chat group, (she’s the one who have contact with our Doctor to help us)she was kinda mean and arrogant with some of us, we asked her to ask a Doctor an important and urgent question but she refused without any convincing reason, and was acting arrogant towards some of us and made it seems like we’re losers and neglected, so I got annoyed and had a little conflict with her, and another girl told me to stop or it’s gonna turn into a fight, and I don’t mean to cause problems, so at the end I told the mean girl “okay, thanks for hard work” and she ignored it, so I got annoyed again and thought that she didn’t deserve it so I deleted the (thank you for your hard work) part. I know I did right thing by facing her for being mean, but I got triggered I had these thoughts: - I did good and I was finally assertive but I ruined it at the end when I thanked her. - I just let down myself by trying to please her at the end by thanking her. - Now she and everyone think that I got scared of her and decided to thank her. - What if I saw her in college and I was not strong enough to face her again, especially that the Doctor loves her the most. - What if I looked like a troublemaker or a loser to everyone? - No one supported me while talking to her what if I’m wrong? - I feel exposed. - I don’t want problems I can’t handle stress. - I must’ve been more assertive with her. - I must let her know who really I am and she must respect me. - I must take revenge. - I must let her know her place. - I gotta make her feel like loser next to me. - I got triggered so I must be weak and shouldn’t have done this. What I felt: - Stress - Anger - Shame - Embarrassment - Insulted The compulsions that I did: - I responded to my fear of causing a problem and thanked her to lighten up the mood. - I got mad cus she didn’t reply and felt like a loser so I deleted it. - I kept checking who read my chats with her. - I told my friend about and asked for her opinion as way to gain certainty. - I archived the group chat cuz I feel embarrassed and ashamed when I see it. And now I’m facing annoying OCD thoughts about it, I feel so triggered, did I do the right ERP and is it normal to get triggered after it?