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Honestly I’m so scared. What if my special interest (a person) isn’t as great as I think she is? I’m so scared. I want to cry

I'm considering Prozac and Lexapro. I'm open to any and all thoughts on them, positive or negative. I honestly doubt they'll work because the things I'm sad about are super logical

Hey guys. I haven’t posted on here in a very long time, because honestly it’s been great. Does it mean my husband and I haven’t had our moments where we have fought or everything‘s been easy? No. but when it comes to really intense spikes, those haven’t really existed and it’s been great. But about a month ago, I had a very gentle spike, where a question came up related to ROCD And my husband and I were with our family for the holiday, so being that we were around people I couldn’t really talk to him about it, so I texted him. The spike was really random, and it really caught me off guard, and being, so since I hadn’t felt something like that, and it almost being a year, it scared me a little bit. So I texted him since we couldn’t actually talk, And I was expecting him to be a little offended and frustrated because he feels like he is being attacked when these things come up, but he wasn’t and he was really supportive and loving and it was really nice and it actually feels like it diffused the ROCD a little, which gave me a lot of sense of support and love from him. Fast forward to now, I was on my drive home from my job, and I had just gotten off the phone with him, and I was feeling great, and I had a long drive ahead of me, and I was actually missing him and ready to be home. And then I had another one of those random spur thoughts that kinda gave me , a little of an anxiety spike, and this one surrounded More around the thought of me, thinking back to a year and a year and a half ago when I had my last impulse of wanting to leave. The impulses really came from nothing serious they were just these really really strong pushes of emotions that made me feel like I had to do that, and I absolutely hated those feelings and hated when those moments happened and when it came up into my memory today, it gave me a lot of anxiety cause even thinking about them isn’t something I want to do. And so with that question came up along with the feelings that really bothered me and then I started to think, well would that happened again? What will I do? How will we get through it again? Will I have control to stand against the impulses? Just so many anxious questions. So on the drive, I chewed on them, try to be present and enjoy myself on the drive, even though these were in the back of my mind, along with that, I was trying to figure out if I needed to talk to my husband about it. And so when I got home, all I said was “ hey I don’t want to talk about this long because I don’t want to feed it but here is what was on my mind tonight and this is how I feel blah blah blah blah blah” and I was expecting him to be the compassionate supportive person that I received last month. But instead he was hurt and frustrated and irritated at the fact that I brought this up and honestly that just added to my anxiety that I was trying to diffuse, and now we’re in a fight because neither of us feel understood and it’s just really hard. What started with one focus of my ROCD anxious questions has now turned into More based on his reaction. Then, because of his reaction, it puts my mind into a place of focusing on all the negative things about him, which is also another RCD thing that really sucks . It’s been so long since I have been through this, and these tensions between my husband and I when it comes to this topic, so I would really like some responses and encouragement and help on how you guys have gotten through these moments with your spouse? I am also strong in my Christian faith so if anybody else is, that would be super helpful also. Thank you!

I had my third session today, and my therapist and I are filling out my fear and response list. For some reason I'm having a hard time filling out compulsions and even some of the fear responses. It's like everything is so connected it's hard to separate it in my head. I've never tried to do this before. Also maybe I can explain the compulsions in a longer sentence but it's hard to use just one word. And most of my triggers cause a pretty high number of distress, but I need to find something with less anxiety to start the exposure therapy. Does anyone have advice on how to make this process easier, or just an example of how they filled this form out? Thanks.

I am having really bad anxiety today and just want to take an anxiety pill to help me relax, but then I have ocd intrusive thoughts telling me something bad will happen if I take it or I will go crazy or something.

Does anyone have the worst OC in the morning? It feels like Groundhog’s Day when I Got You Babe starts every morning - awaking to the same old thing. I lay in bed trying to go back to sleep and run from my rumination, but it just builds up more and more. I finally force myself to get up and get moving, do some ERP- oh and I have no taste for anything that I used to like - coffee, bagels, etc. Any suggestions? Techniques? Please share.

I am doing great! I don’t know why I am doubting myself. But I just feel like I’m missing something? OCD is making me doubt if I am missing tools, I know I’m doing it right, acknowledging thoughts and continue doing what I am doing, not mentally checking my body or for thoughts, focusing on the present moment, sitting with anxiety, exposing myself to my triggers, even when OCD says NO, I still DO IT! but it feels like I am missing something, although I am better than where I was in September , MUCH BETTER, I’m scared that I will stay in this place because it seems so simple, even though sometimes it is SUPER hard to use the tools sometimes, I don’t know, I don’t want to be stuck in this same place I want to get even better if that’s makes sense? I’m scared if I stay in this same place I am, I will get discouraged and go back into depression where I was in September ? Anyone else done this?

Have others had the experience of having an ocd relapse? I have felt that my ocd was fairly under control for a few years but I have recently been struggling and would say I have fallen into a relapse. It is very disheartening not to mention I am so tired and a bit scared. I am triggered all day long by all kinds of different things. Things have felt like they are exponentially unraveling.

how can I stop obsessing over my thoughts? they won’t go away and I’m convinced it’s never going to get better for me. I used to be such a happy person and ocd has completely destroyed me and taken over my life. I can’t enjoy things anymore.

I just failed a class and the semester is over so now I feel horrible and I feel as if my life is over and it doesn’t help that I’m already a grade behind I feel so stupid and I know when I tell my mom she’s gonna be angry

this week has been shit. i have been feeling so much distress and haven’t been able to focus due to pocd thoughts haunting me. i got my car towed twice, i have not been able to be intimate, i am constantly having this brain fog that doesn’t help me concentrate. i fell into so many compulsions with pocd and have been on google for hours this past week. now i am so afraid that the police will come for me. i regret going to google to try to get some answers and help. reddit is not helpful. google is not helpful. it makes everything worse. i want everything to just go away and not havw these horrific images or thoughts pop up every second. i just, i dont know what to do anymore.

Haven’t posted on here for like 3 months. my OCD is confusing, I’ve been on Zoloft, took 2 pills of 50mg. & still nothing has changed. now they’re asking for me to specify my thoughts & how I feel. But, is it crazy that my intrusive thoughts are so hard to think of even though ik exactly what I need to avoid bc then I’ll think of what I don’t wanna think of? like I feel extreme depersonalization. Every. Single. Day. Vision gets blurry outta nowhere, little dizzy, red eyes ( sometimes brown ? ), rashes on my legs, tension on my head like if it was so full of thoughts. If I had to explain the pain I’d say it just feels like my thoughts were yelling. I’m so scared that no pill will help my ocd ?? like idk what to do. I’m constantly asking myself is this even real, is around me real? idk. .. at the beginning, I only had just intrusive thoughts.. but time went by & now I feel like I have more depersonalization than OCD it’s self. makes sense ? any of you relate ?

I got triggered again cause randomly i remembered that in the past when ocd got so bad, i started to feel really sad and tired that i have this life, that i cant enjoy it and i got thoughts in my head like i dont want to live like this, then i was like i dont want to die, but idk what to do. Im sure i didnt wanted to die, but now when i hear people talking about dealing with suicidal thoughts, i feel like i can relate cause they tell the same story i had. I got tired and i had thoughts like i dont want to live like this. And i cant see the difference,i dont have this now, im just really sad and triggered about the thing that i might had dealt with suicidal thoughts in a real way, and the more i want to deny it the more shame i feel cause it makes me think that i only avoid it cause of shame but i should accept the fact that i was, which i cant. Also it doesnt help that my therapist said when i eas going to therapy that im not in danger but when life gets hard i want to avoid the pain by dying, and the more i tried to accept this, the more depressed and shame i felt...until i decided i will leave cause it made me feel worse... since then im in war with does she was right? Did i ecperienced suicidal thoughts? Am i just putting this ocd label on it cause it feels better? Im really scared that back in the days i actually experienced real suicidal thoughts, and i cant stop to compare myself to people when i hear its the same pattern i did experienced as people who wanted to end their life...

How can someone get help when their ocd has crippled them for years but not being able to work for over a year how can someone get help without insurance how can someone get help when every time they try to leave home their body fights against them and fear takes over I’m stuck losing my mind and can’t seem to get help from anywhere how can I go on?

Hello everyone. I am new and have recently been diagnosed with ocd. I have a lot of pain and sadness. I always feel lonely and neglected. I had a difficult childhood which also caused me to develop CPTSD. My obsessive thoughts are mainly about my partner. I always want to know what's going on with her, where she is, what she's doing. I want her to listen to me and me first. He keeps in touch with his exes on a friendly level, but I feel my "place" is in danger even though we have discussed it in vain. I keep thinking about her and the possibility of a rekindling with her ex. That she talks to other people more than me. Too independent and I feel my place is in danger again. I guess I'm not good enough, not supportive enough. I often think I'm not loved and I'm a reserve. We have talked about this many times, yet I keep having these things going on in my head. I have severe anxiety and I keep losing weight. I have suicidal thoughts every day. I don't know what to do because I don't want to be like this. I feel sick and toxic.

I've been in a relationship for a couple of months now with a really sweet guy. He's always supportive when it comes to everything I'm involved in. He compliments me regularly. He's got a lot of very happy energy. Nothing is wrong with our relationship, except for me. For the past week or two, I've been experiencing negative feelings and intrusive thoughts at random times, even if I haven't spoken to him around the time that they come up. Everything was great and then all of a sudden they hit me and it's hard to shake them. They're thoughts like "you should break up with him", "do you even really love him", and similar thoughts to that. I've been trying to change course with my thoughts and I think it's working a bit because now it's mostly just the feeling that comes about rather than the thought. It just leaves me feeling less than great, and it's hard to know if I'm actually starting to agree with my thoughts or if I'm just being lured in and deceived because I know that ROCD can do that. It's hard to shake those feelings, and usually they go away when I talk to him, but sometimes I'm so caught up in it that I can't get rid of it, even while we're on the phone. I love him and don't want to break up, I just don't know how to ease the negativity. Why are they coming around now?

I just woke up from a dream related to my OCD subtype and it felt too real and felt like I liked it and woke up panicking. I know dreams don’t mean anything but it felt too real and now I can’t sleep.

I don’t know why people don’t respond to me I feel like they think I’m being annoying. I would appreciate if they would just give me a call or text me

On my run this morning a person stopped me to ask if I had a phone on me, and I said “no, sorry” and kept running even though I did have my phone, because it was early morning and I felt scared they’d take my phone. For the rest of my run I felt worried that they were following me and would see me use my phone, because I had AirPods in so they could guess that I did have a phone, although conceivably I could have only been wearing my Apply Watch. Once I was home and that anxiety subsided, I’ve been playing the situation over in my mind and feeling like such a bad person for saying no because what if they really needed help, and I said no because I judged them based on appearance and the situation made me scared they’d take my phone. I’m worried something bad will happen to me as karma.

So anyone have these opposite thoughts or thoughts that go against what your values and it sounds like you actually want to support such horrific, disturbing things even though you haven't and will never to this day? Its like you're inner dialogue is saying you support such things even though you know you really dont want to and the subject disgusts you and its like opposite thoughts. It's disturbing and honestly I'm a little shaken and it's been along the line of my core theme? Would anyone have any advice or have any knowledge on what this is?