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I’m scared that a memory I have is real BUT I want to try and remember it as good and nothing happened Worried I’m suppressing something and that’s why I can’t remember What should I do? Anyone relate?

do y’all ever feel like this MUST be real? like it FEELS real. i got an intrusive urge to kiss a female on the shoulder. ruminating did not help me to get rid of that feeling. it feels like i want it. but i do not want to want it. i’ve been dealing with this subtype for almost a year now and it gets worse day by day.

I’m so confused and it’s infuriating. My head and my heart are constantly at war with each other. One minute I could be so sure of my feelings, and the next I’m second guessing everything. I don’t want to mess it up this time. He’s been my biggest supporter the past couple months, I’ve grown a lot with him. So why do these thoughts keep coming back. Im undiagnosed and my biggest fear is that I don’t have OCD and these thoughts are true. I can’t do that to him. I feel so lost.

With erp I’ve been doing better these past few days, I used to love reading but I haven’t been able to with the fear of feeling like I’ll enjoy the man’s perspective of being with a woman, instead of the opposite. But I just started a new book and I’m being triggered so much :( it feels so hard to try to imagine from the woman’s perspective, I can’t even put a man’s face to the characters anymore. It’s like all of sudden I feel even more like I’ve been lying to myself about deep down not feeling like I’m gay. Fantasizing about either sex doesn’t work anymore, I feel like I enjoy the thoughts about the woman

This week has been lazy, which can go either way for people with OCD. Sometimes having too much down time is a recipe for disaster with those of us whose main compulsion is ruminating. But surprisingly, the past few days have been much better for me. I was laying on the couch today with my partner. He was watching a show, I was reading a really good book and the cat came to lay on my chest. First time he’s ever done that and all of a sudden I found myself smiling. One of those great, big, ridiculous grins. It felt so nice to feel actual joy for the first time in months. Let this be a reminder to everyone that even our darkest days will end and the anxiety will lift. If you’re struggling now, hang in there, it won’t last. You’ll get through it. Lots of love to you all and a happy New Year’s Eve eve 💖

for the last few nights i havent been able to fall asleep easily cause i had this like tired but wired feeling. and i was googling ways to calm myself to sleep and something said it could be an early sign of psychosis. and now its got me all freaked out because my ocd is harm related so im scared it is psychosis and im gonna do something thats in my thoughts. anyone relate??

Who else is battling this Monster alone? I'm really struggling with feeling alone today. I've been divorced for 5 years and I'm scared that I won't be able to find any body to even be close with because of my OCD. I really just need a friend that understands or can relate. The holidays have been extra hard and my therapist is on vacation. My mind is going through a long list of things to latch onto so I am doing exposure. But I'm exhausted, and just feel like I need one of those hugs that makes you feel safe.

I have a fear of intimacy, like, if a boy that I like likes me back, I get terrified. I did some research and ended up getting triggered. Someone in the comments of one of the videos I was looking at said to someone with the same fear that they could be "lithromantic"? So i researched this, and while, yeah some of it applied to me, my soocd was telling me that I wasn't straight and that I'm lithromantic and that I'll never achieve happiness with a man because of this. It makes me feel in denial and just as scared as I was about being gay. Like, i'm straight. And I just think my ocd makes me think that my fear of intimacy means I'm lithromantic, but I want to find joy in a man's compliments, I just can't because of the fear of intimacy and hocd. So it makes me prefer men not saying anything. Can someone help? X.

Grief is very confusing and misunderstood. Maybe even more than OCD. It's terrifying.

Anyone else feel so depressed because like I’ll share what I need from my husband over and over and he continues to neglect me? He works all the time and even when he’s off he’s never present. He’s always leaving the house and doing things or just doing everything BUT quality time with me and I’m pretty sure that’s my love language. It makes it hard when I have OcD on top of that because then the only time I do see him I’m trying to get support for my thoughts and he just gets frustrated and sometimes he’s used my OCD fears against me and I feel worse for them. I feel so alone, I’ve tried to tell him how neglected I feel, but he just says he feels the same, sometimes he apologizes, but then he doesn’t really change anything. I don’t want to have to beg my husband to spend time with me or fill my needs, I’m so exhausted. And OCD and depression on top of it while having no family support, just makes me feel so utterly depressed. Anyone?

Ummmm I read this post where a girl is saying basically that “someone with intrusive thoughts about raping someone could actually rape them as a compulsion” is anyone else actually as uncomfortable as me about this? Please tell me I’m not the only one who completely disagrees with that statement? I understand this girl has ocd and I don’t think she is capable of actually doing whatever intrusive thought is happening in her brain. But c’mon… if someone who claims to have POCD actually raped a child, that is not a compulsion, that is a CHOICE, to physically HARM that CHILD. And I would seriously consider that person probably doesn’t have ocd. I believe someone with those types of thoughts/fears would never act on sexually abusing someone, I know ocd can make us do crazy things but this has really disturbed me and hoping to get some advice on how I can approach this post on NOCD?

TW I care way too much about people who don't care about me. I try not to hurt people's feelings, and I try not to do things that will cause them grief for a really long time, because I know how bad grief can be, but nobody's there to support me. The people who should listen to and support me, don't. And the people I reach out to, don't. Everybody. I've tried talking to everybody. But I've never felt heard. I rack my brain trying to figure out why every single day for the past two years, but it's probably more simple than I'm making it -- people don't WANT to listen to me.

As most of us know, any form of birth control can have many side affects on how we feel. I was wondering if other women out there have had worsening symptoms of OCD or anxiety when you’re on birth control. What kind of birth control are or were you on if you don’t mind sharing. What works best for you? I believe my emotions are really intense which makes OCD even worse. I’m considering trying another method/brand.

Hi folks, I want to do exposures and I need some advice from yours. So I have the problem, that if I WANT to trigger myself during and exposure, it won't work, I just don't hit the right spot. I must say, that I am doing these exposures on my own right now, because my therapist is in holidays and will give me scripts next week, but these are my problems with exposures: I am often too exhausted and worn out, so the stuff I try won't trigger me I don't hit the right spot with triggering myself, because it doesn't work Often I am triggered when I don't want to be and if I want to be triggered, it won't work I am often distracted by other stuff, other OCD stuff like my nose is itching, cool stuff I wanna do or cool stuff I bought myself, being bored Do you do you exposures a certain time a day or do you try to be calm before them so you can focus on the exposure or what do you think should I do? Appreciate advices, thank you

Hi everyone. I’ve been having religious OCD for the past 4 months now. I’ve always been a Christian but it wasn’t until this year I truly gave myself to the Lord. I was so on fire. Getting amazing signs and healing from Him. He really changed my heart and desires! I love them! But the last couple months this OCD hit hard with obsession over scary thoughts & feelings. I started having thoughts about God existence & Jesus. It hurt so much and I’m really trying everyday to move forward but recently I feel like I have a rejection mindset. Like beating myself up over these thoughts and feeling like Gods left me sometimes or I’m not worthy of His love or me having these thoughts of doubts & unbelief was the last straw. I’ve been so attacked lately with this OCD. It’s scaring me. Sometimes it feels like it’s coming from me. I felt like I woke up in total disbelief. I just woke up feeling so numb and questioning life. Doubting everything and I get OCD is a doubting disease but dang. I don’t want to doubt God & Jesus. I look back at my experiences and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t. It makes me feel like God is mad at me or will leave me. I’m constantly checking myself, my feelings, my thoughts and even if I’ll “act on this thought”! Deep down I know it’s not true because God is love but does anyone have any advice on how to move forward with these thoughts of rejection? To have a better mindset of believing & receiving Gods Love, Grace and Promises.

I did the gay poem test but I actually got a boner without anxiety, but I don’t get it. I didn’t really like what I was seeing but I had a boner, I took it off because I got disgusted but feels like I forced myself to get disgusted. What do I do? “Accept uncertainty” but then that’s just suppressing your sexuality and hiding from it. It’s like telling someone “don’t think of sex” it’s impossible, I can’t stop. How can I just say “maybe, maybe not.”

I have recently started suffering from the thought that when we die we just start our life over again and therefore do all the same things again and again and again. Recently my mind keeps telling me that anything I do I’ve already done and it is really familiar to me, like dejavu I suppose. But this is constant to the point I can’t function properly- it all started after an awful weed trip where I thought I died and the same event kept happening over and over and over again. Has anyone else experienced this or know of a way of moving past this?

When I enter a department store or a clothing shop and it's music playing my OCD very often is kicked off starting to follow the music, my compulsions starts repeating the suicidal content over and over again- I so much with to kill my self, again ana again- and in addition I am often in the store because I am uncomfortable with what I am wearing so in the end as I escape to the changing room I feel totally worn out, and sit down sweating and the suicidal rhythm can then follow me for the next hours, even days. It feels like I am so strange with this, but its been like this so many years- the more upbeat the music the more intense is the unwanted thoughts , I am absolutely not suicidal- so to listen every day to thoughts that says" I so much want to kill my self, go kill yourself, so much want to be shot" and so on and so on, it's terribly exhausting . Thank you a million times for this app.

I feel so tired of this heal concerns and contamination OCD. Before Christmas I ordered some makeup from Sephora in Sweden, I wanted to try the Rare Beauty makeup. So when I got my package I noticed the box was 75% opened from the glue sealing that boxes have just above the strip that means to be pulled and open the box. It seemed mire a like problem with the glue from the box. But sadly for me it wasn't like that. I almost immediately started to think: what if someone has opened the package? What if someone has used it? What if it's contaminated? What if someone opened it to put something dangerous there like some biological dangerous thing like spores from some bacteria like Anthrax? I know it's too exaggerated. But in my mind feels like there's a chance for that, since there's always evil people who tries to harm others with aby excuse like being exteeme religious, political ideas or some prejudices, racism etc. So all of that made me BELIEVE something it's wrong with the makeup. All the boxes look good and clean. But as they don't have any stickers to seal them. I also thought what if. I cleaned all the makeup bottles but I haven't dare to open or try them, they have been there in a safe place in the living room since before Christmas until now. I Still struggle as I can't drop that believe away. I ordered it once more, I got it today, and the package was even more open this time, just like 2% of the box was closed. I decided to call to Sephora, I told the woman at the customers service about my condition with OCD. She was so kind and said she was going to investigate with the warehouse. She asked me for some photos. She reminded me I can return everything as long as I haven't used it. I have considered to return everything, but I feel almost stupid that I won't be able to use the makeup even when I'm so eager to do so. If I return it I will OCD to gain over me. In fact I don't seem to find anything that is really perfect or good enough. If there's someone who could please tell me what has worked for you when being so extremely overwhelmed and så red about something being contaminated or dangerous. I'd like to get some opinions and advices in what should I do? Does this sound even possible for you? Am I letting the OCD take so much control over myself? Thank you

hi guys, im really looking for advice right now. this is going to be a super long post with a lot to it so i apologise in advance! i know reassurance isn’t good, but i really feel like sometimes it really confuses you on whether something is bad or not? does that make sense? i’ve been with my bf a while now and when we’re good things are amazing, but when they’re bad they’re bad. long story short, there’s been many incidents where he’s been name calling me, including very degrading words such as “wh*re” and when he called me this a few months ago this summer, i was very upset. he took me out the next day to make it up for me but then i saw messages on his phone between him and his friends of videos & pics of other girls. some were half naked, some had better bodies than me, society’s desired body shape. keep in mind his friend is married and he’s doing this too. anyway- i see my boyfriend send a post of a girl that tried to make a move on him during a night out (which he was honest about) but he sent it to his friend and said he “shagged her” i feel sick even writing this still. he swore on his little brothers life, my life and god he was just joking. but it got to me so so much bc i felt so mentally drained from the previous days argument and now this. my anxiety was sky high after for ages. even now when i think about it i still have doubts. fast forward to two weeks ago, i saw more messages on my bf’s phone of half naked girls (even tho he was apologetic about doing it the first time round and knew how much it impacted my self esteem, confidence and mental health) and i couldn’t stop crying. the worst thing is i said to him show me the messages and he deleted them. there’s been a few incidents last year where he liked other girls pics too and claimed it wasn’t him. idk i believe him but sometimes i dont. like all of this on top of the hurtful things he’s said to me really really get to me so much. we had a convo about it just over a week ago and he promised to do better which is good but i feel the damage is there. anyway, i have very bad rocd in terms of cheating. like me being unfaithful. i constantly avoid other men and interacting with them. like i won’t even walk past them. even opening the doors to delivery drivers give me sm anxiety it makes me sick. i don’t go on social media after a certain time incase i message someone and don’t remember. so last week i had a party, and my fears were still there bc i knew other men will be there and i did avoidance still. but there was a moment when i was taking pics of my aunt and a group of guys walked past me and the attraction felt so real and different to all times before, even the GR. i feel so disloyal even typing this. i feel like i cheated. and im scared that bc this attraction was there (maybe fueled more by the ocd) what if i stepped towards the guys when they walked past? i know i didn’t make contact bc id feel it and id know (even tho im doubting this) but im scared that i stepped towards them out of the attraction which is scaring me so so much. like if i did i cheated right? my friend said no. but i feel so sick. i also feel like feeling the attraction was bad, it felt intense but this may have been ocd mixed in? idk? but then the other part of me is maybe i felt like that subconsciously bc of the issues with my boyfriend? im not sure, i feel very confused at the moment. i have the biggest urge to confess but im scared. i think im more scared because of the times my bf has spoken about other girls etc and he’d do it more. bc one time he said he’d do something with another girl if i did something and after he felt bad when he said it but i feel like its really impacted my nervous system. do i confess? did i cheat?