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I feel like people don’t want to encourage me. I mean I know you guys encourage me but people that I have known for years don’t encourage me

Has anyone noticed their intrusive thoughts worsening the week before and week of their menstrual cycle? It’s like everything is manageable then all of the sudden I get hit by a million thoughts out of nowhere and it gets me so down. I’m just not sure what to do or how to handle it

Hey, guys. So, I feel like a lot of my scrupulosity ocd is emotions/feelings. Like, I get these impressions and feelings of being evil. I really feel like I am whatever I’m afraid of being in that moment. And I’m really confused by this, since ocd is about thoughts, right? Is that how it is for you guys too?

I kind of feel fake…if anyone has been through this phase also can you explain this to me the feeling of fake ? What does recovery looks like? Do we find our answers on the process? Do we start to feel love again? Do we start to feel more confident in ourselves and our relationship? What is it like? Do I have to keep on living like this my whole life in order to not catch ocd again in life later IF I RECOVER?

The thing about intrusive thoughts is that I only push them out of my mind when I know that they’re completely outrageous. When I get intrusive thoughts that are more convincing, I want to make sure that the content of the thought doesn’t bother me before I push it out. And this is what sucks because why is my own judgement not enough? I know I’m a lesbian. I know that I never want to be with a man. Why do my thoughts keep telling me “you like men and you know it” and “the only reason you avoid men is because you still like them and you know it” and “if you were to try a man, you’ll like it and you know it. That’s why you avoid them so much”??? Like bye that doesn’t even make sense. But OCD also hates facts bc as soon as I’m like “FACTUALLY, bitch, the fact that I never want to end up with a man or am even having anxiety about liking a hypothetical and what feels like inevitable future with a man is proof that I’m not attracted to them”, my brain just refuses to PROCESS THAT and just TRASHES it? OCD is SCARY.

Or do they only show up in „what if I did this and that?“ and then create an image? Bc a few weeks ago I was ruminating on another false memory and suddenly I had an even worse image and started obsessing over this but now I’m scared that it’s an actual memory bc it was an image even though I can’t remember doing that and it could only be a few months ago

I don’t have a cold sore that I know of and I don’t even know if I ever suffered through them before but my child had his first outbreak yesterday. Of course my contamination OCD flared up big time, even had a nightmare about it. Not sure if I need to keep doing research on it anymore or just let it go and see what happens. Maybe I have hsv1 that’s dormant or maybe I might get it accidentally soon. I’m not entirely sure. Should I still be sanitizing everything and wash my hands and tell him to keep washing his hands? I don’t know. It’s my first time dealing with this and it’s so scary.. I know they’re not a big deal but nonetheless, it’s something I can’t take my mind off of. Ruminating I guess. I’m looking at every single object in my home as contaminated and tempted to throw stuff.. but I know that probably would be me overreacting. Sigh.

I know this might be bad but I used to have some serious cuteness aggression with my cat and I used to like be a little too much with my cat like tap her head repeatedly and sometimes lightly hit her. I would also kind of annoy her a lot when she was trying to rest. I never did anything out of malice. I just have issues with cuteness and I know that’s not an excuse. I just feel really bad now.. I don’t think she’s ever like been hurt or anything, just annoyed and aggravated. Do I deserve bad things now?

I don't know what's going on lately but I'm just in such a bad mood, and I keep taking it out on everyone. Whenever my sister laughs at me, which is not in a malicious way, I get really annoyed that she's laughing at me. And sometimes she says she wasn't laughing at me but something else, but I get so annoyed and now I'm thinking I don't want her to feel like she can't laugh because she's afraid I'll take it the wrong way. I just feel terrible. Everything is upsetting me lately, I just need like a solo trip somewhere or something because I'm getting triggered by everything and everyone, and it's impacting other people now.

I've been having some contamination OCD recently, and it's been affecting my hands a lot. My brain tells me that everything is dirty, and it results in me washing my hands way more then what's good for me. The skin on my hands is getting red and cracked. If anyone knows how to help me out, it'd be awesome!! ☹️

I've been miserable for days. And the worst part is, I feel like I'm turning into the person I hate. I feel like I'm turning into a devil, a monster. Anything that used to make me feel bad and guilty doesn't make me feel bad anymore, and I feel like I enjoy those things but I'm hiding it. I feel like the people who act like they say they hate these things, but they don't actually hate them but support them. These things include cheating, unfaithfulness, perversion, using people for various reasons, and many other evil things. I feel like im pretending because i don't even feel guilty enough.. I feel like a demon.

Hello guys i have religious Ocd almost 3 months now, could you guys give me some advice on how to deal with this? Its so distressing that i feel everytime i could possibly blaspheme Jesus. It really feels like im trying to think or recall a specific blasphemous thought intentionally.

Hi everyone, this is a very long post, but I want to share my story in hopes of helping others see that they are not alone, and that what they are going through isn’t something that they need to bare alone. Feel free to read if you want-things will get better! 💜 I first encountered my OCD flaring up when I was in middle school around the age of twelve or thirteen. During this time, my primary obsession was the fear that I could or would possibly commit suicide. At the time, I had no clue what was happening and didn’t know anything about OCD (other than believing it was defined as people needing to keep their spaces tidy). Reflecting now, it’s clear to me that this was the first time I had the unfortunate privilege of meeting my OCD monster. I was constantly having intrusive images and thoughts anytime I would see knives—worrying that I would grab one and use it to harm myself. I would create scenarios in my head in in which I pictured myself jumping in front of a garbage truck, or drowning myself in the bathtub. While the logical side of me knew that these fears were irrational, I felt such shame and isolation in having them. The theme subsided after about three months, and I was able to move on with my life without noticing any major flare ups of OCD. Now, this doesn’t mean I wasn’t experiencing OCD during this ‘peacetime’, but the themes were nowhere near as debilitating. For example, I’d have flare ups about random concerns such as obsessing that chest pains could be a sign of heart attack; worrying that I’d developed a brain tumor due to a dizzy spell; worrying that I’d get arrested for accidentally hitting something with my car; etc. While these situations brought on an immense amount of anxiety, these bouts usually dissipated within about a week—for this reason, I don’t consider these to be any of my main nor debilitating themes. One summer day in my high school age—around fifteen—I was watching the local news and a story came on about a soccer coach who was arrested for grooming his players. The story highlighted how much everyone in the community was reeling from this revelation since the coach was such a beloved and respected member of the community. I remember the exact moment when I was flooded with an immense amount of dread and anxiety unlike anything I’d ever felt up until that point. If this ‘upstanding’ community man was capable of something so terrible, what was to say I couldn’t be too? What if I’m just discovering this terrifying aspect of my identity all of a sudden? What would everyone who I know and love think about me? These are just a few examples of the myriad of thoughts that bombarded my mind within just minutes of seeing that news story. The anxiety about this possibility elevated to such a level, that I felt more hopeless than I have ever felt about my future before. I remember leaving my parents a note on their bedside table confessing to them that I was afraid that I was a pedophile because there was no way I would have ever been able to face them in-person and say that. I waited in my room all morning until after they had read the note in hopes that would come talk to me and try to comfort me—which is exactly what they did. While their reassurance made me feel a bit better for the next thirty minutes, eventually I felt that I needed more answers and began Googling. This was when I finally found out about OCD. I felt an immense sense of relief when I realized that this could be OCD, but the monster did not like that I had uncovered it’s nasty secret, and immediately tried to divert my attention by battering me with the though that I was the exception to the rule—that I didn’t actually have OCD. I wasn’t brave enough to start therapy because I was terrified that when I went to my first appointment and told them my thoughts, that they would confirm to me that there is something wrong and that it wasn’t OCD. For about 8 months, I continued ruminating on every little possibility, avoiding children, and feeling a complete loss of identity that I would never wish upon anyone. After finally mustering up the courage to start therapy, I found myself improving after about 2 months, and wasn’t bothered by such thoughts anymore….I was so relieved to be done with that phase of my life, not knowing that the monster would never leave. At this point, I was loving every aspect of life—especially after coming out as gay to my parents during my freshman year of university. Life was beautiful and I felt free of any doubt or fear surrounding who I was. But when COVID hit, my OCD went into hyperdrive with contamination as my primary theme. The pandemic progressed, and these anxieties died down and it felt like life was going to move on. One day later that summer, in August of 2022—about 4 years since ever really thinking about it—the pedophilia-themed OCD was back. I had opened up to a close friend about my experience in high school, and she was incredibly understanding and supportive; but something in my brain triggered from this conversation and the obsession was back. This time, I found a therapist right away, but not knowing that Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) was the proper treatment, I found a psychologist who specialized in psychodynamic therapy. After about 5 months of torture, I did reach recovery once again despite the lack of ERP. Life was good again throughout the rest of university and post-graduation. However, this past May, things took a dive for the worst. After being prescribed what I had deemed a “scary antibiotic” for an infection from my wisdom teeth surgery, my OCD ramped up to the point where I was obsessing over the possibility of having side effects from this medication—even imagining that I had developed peripheral neuropathy from the pills. Less than 48 hours later, I saw a Tik Tok clip of the show To Catch a Predator. Seeing that clip was extremely triggering, and caused me to imagine myself as the person being caught. It was like a light switch was flipped in my brain as the health-related fears vanished simultaneously with the arrival of the pedophilia-themed obsessions. At this time, I was also about a week into beginning treatment using Prozac. For me, the medication ended up resulting in negative side effects that drove up suicidal thoughts, which in tandem with the POCD made me lose all hope in going on. I found myself bargaining and playing mind games to try and solve this problem: I couldn’t be attracted to children, could I? I’ve only ever been attracted to people my own age in the past. But what if something is changing in me now? Even if it is, I could just make sure that I never act on it. No, I can’t even bare the thought of identifying that way. But you didn’t want to be gay at first, what if this is like that? Phew, that guy is attractive. But what if he’s actually younger than he looks? Does that mean I’m attracted to minors? What if the traits I am attracted to in age-appropriate partners are only the traits that I perceive as looking younger? The barrage of thoughts completely destroyed me. Fortunately, I was able to stop taking the Prozac and the suicidal thoughts diminished, but I was still so obsessed over the possibility that I could be a terrible monster. To make matters worse, my career is working with high school students while they are applying to colleges. I see hundreds of sixteen and seventeen year-old students every month. My OCD took this job that I loved, and turned it against me. It told me that I only liked the job because it got me closer to younger kids. It told me that I wasn’t attracted to people my own age. I felt lost and couldn’t tell what was real anymore. After a month of intense suffering, I was able to begin taking control of the situation by finding an OCD specialist, this time beginning ERP right away. As a supplement to my therapy, I also began taking Anafranil, and after a few weeks, I reached a place of pretty solid ground. That was in late-July. Since that time, I have considered myself to be in recovery and have been immensely enjoying my life. However, recovery now means something much different than what it meant when I first began my journey with OCD. Now, I understand that I will probably never be free of intrusive thoughts—no one is—but they do not define who I am as a person, and I am able to enjoy life alongside them. While in my past it always felt that I needed to put so much time and energy into solving the things that worry me, what I have now come to realize is that overthinking never really solved anything. Instead, it took control of my life and made me see negativity anywhere I looked in life. This brings us to today. My experiences with OCD—particularly in the past six months—have inspired me to dedicate my time advocating for OCD understanding and helping others to see that they are not alone, especially because that’s how I know many of you feel. I hope to join the likes of the amazing leaders in the community such as Chrissie Hodges, Nathan Peterson, Stuart Ralph, and so many others who contribute such meaningful work to this community. This entry is just the beginning of my work, and I hope it provides some hope and understanding for others. In the future, I plan to elaborate more on my experiences and share more about living life with OCD. Through all of these experiences, I have come to realize that life goes on. It’s possible to live a fulfilling life while OCD takes the backseat.

I started my period yesterday and I'm stuck on the thoughts of being poly and it feels to real like I had to confess. I always been monogamous and committed to my online boyfriend. I don't want to be with someone else. I don't want us to be with someone else. Why doesn't my head get that. It would make me think I want other boys or something poly related and it hurts me. I don't want poly or open relationship at all. I'm happy me and my boyfriend both promise to stay just the two of us. But my thoughts make me deny that makes me feel bad makes me feel like I want "poly" Please help me please please I'm sorry but please. I'm insane this is worse than before.

This passed December I was diagnosed with severe OCD and it hit me like a whirlwind after watching a movie and then thinking that everything isn’t real and that I am in a simulation like the “don’t worry darling” movie. This was very distressing to me because I was a person who read her bible everyday and every night and then would talk to God through prayer a lot and when this happened it was very difficult for me to pray or open my bible because I thought nothing was real and I made up God in my mind or the person controlling me did to make me think this is real. Shortly after that happened I started having harm thoughts of “oh well if this is isn’t real you could harm someone and then wake up or you would realize if it was or wasn’t real?” like in the “don’t worry darling movie” “Or I am going to have to harm myself to find out or being in Heaven would be way better?” Which ultimately led to crying spells everyday feeling like I was going crazy. I then went to the hospital and got diagnosed and am going through ERP/ACT therapy currently but those thoughts are still very active. And even though my thoughts are active and seem very real I know that there is power in prayer no matter what my thoughts are thinking, so please pray for me to get through this and heal. It’s very hard to see a light. Thank you for reading this and hearing me.

I’ve been stuck in the kitchen for nearly an hour an a half, I was checking my fridge fearing a stray kitten might have gotten stuck inside of it, so while I was checking through the fridge I recorded the foot of the refrigerator to make sure no kitten would jump in while I was focused on looking inside, I reviewed the video afterward and at a moment in the video, a part of the fridge went out of frame and I heard a sound similar to the little thud a cat makes when jumping on or from something, I panicked and immediatly thought a kitten had jumped in the fridge right in the out of frame spot at that moment, I don’t want to have to look through the fridge again, I’m tired and have already spent an hour and a half in the kitchen, not to mention I spent a good portion of that time looking at the door to pake sure ot was closed all the way through, but I feel so bad, what to do?

I'm struggling. So a while back my son was sitting on my lap. He was sitting against my chest. But then I kept getting these groinal things. And I don't remember if I stayed there for a second and that trips me up bad. But what also makes me anxious is it got so intense that I moved him quick. Almost like I was worried I was having an "o" from the sensations of my chest and sitting on my lap. Then what makes me question the "o" thing is when I moved him away I got these weird like pulse feelings that I don't usually get with just a groinal and it happened at least 4-7 times or so. Like back to back. I hate this. I need to know it wasn't. And I also need to know I didn't keep him there for a second. Has any other mom felt like you kept them there for a second because of the feeling? And did you ever worry or question an "o" just from them sitting on your lap, etc. I'm so close to beating this monster 3/4 of the way. But this feels too real to let go of.

A few months ago I had a bad episode where I was sitting next to my mum having intrusive thoughts and I disassociated and put my finger in her vagina. Atleast I think this happened. My mum says it didn’t happen and it’s all in my head. It took me months to get over this happening and now my ocd has latched onto something new and is saying that I raped her again. I don’t know if this happened and I’m trying to practice radical acceptance but it’s hard. I just want to figure it out. I want to know if this definitely happened or didn’t. It hurts me to think I might’ve done something this awful. Please leave any tips on dealing with this in the comments below.

I turned 18 and because of an event ive had recently my ocd has never been worse ever. I cry more i panic more i feel worthless and hopeless i feel like i cause pain and hurt and i feel like i shouldn’t live sometimes-ive spoken to my parents about this event (mostly my mom) and i’ve recently started seeing a counselor. (i need to fix ny appointments) but im asking the adults, does it get better? Do i feel like you’ve reached a goal of feeling good again and going on with your life fear free? Ik ppl still suffer but id like comfort from someone more experienced, since i barely found this out about myself recently. I just need help. To know if my adult life will be good and fun and normal in the future. Does it get better?

I have POCD. Sometimes I have intrusive thoughts that my intentions are sexual when I’m interacting with my nephew. I try to push those thoughts away. My therapist said that those aren’t my true intentions and that I don’t need to worry. It makes me worried that those intrusive thoughts change my intentions in that moment. Please help me understand.