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Hi I can’t afford therapy but feel I have ocd but don’t have a diagnosis I’m constantly changing my mind about whether I’ve got ocd or not so I’m stop stating erp therapy that I do alone. What can I do?

I’m getting thoughts that I’m following women. I did see a nice looking woman on my way to the river and I did go a bit like a meerkat but we went in separate directions. Now I’m sitting by the river being paranoid that I’m staring at white women… I’m white. I’m thinking the women are too young too when they are well past it being an issue even if I was interested. In other news the flower children at the river were eating thali and I said hello so I got POCD exposure. I’ve promised then chalk whenI get paid and every day they are asking for chalk lol. The chalk will cost £1 for forty coloured sticks. They can make extra money drawing for tourists and it is a bargain for me. I’ve told the tea stand nearby that he should sell chalk as I’m sure the children would continue to get chalk long after I move on that way. I honestly feel like I’ll be in the news rn and they will use my messages and social media as evidence. I know I have had a lot of caffeine and I said this would happen.

on the daily i shower for 2-3 hours. i dont understand why but i spend so much time being paranoid of being dirty or touching something dirty in the shower that i constantly keep washing nonstop. i spend like 20 minutes washing my hands in the shower before i even touch my shampoo, then after i finish my shower i spend 20 more minutes washing my hands. i also developed a bad habit of cleaning the knob that controls the water because i believe it is very dirty. this is very exhausting and hard to live with, so can anyone share some advice?

I read multiple articles on false memory ocd an now I’m confused. I actually thought that false memory ocd is marked by things that are actually completely fabricated by the brain. But I keep seeing things like „an event that may or may not have happened“, does this mean that it could actually be true? Are there any ways how to find out if what you’re going through is real if it’s an actual bad act? Because for me I have been completely focused on false memory ocd lately and while I was ruminating on another one, I suddenly got an image of sth even worse that could maybe be like 7 or 8 months ago. I never remembered this happening and for months I’ve been convinced I had never hurt anybody but then I got this image. I instantly also thought that this didn’t happen and that I would definitely remember if it had happened because it’s actually horrible and it’s not just something you would quickly do and then completely forget, it’s an actual entire act. And I never was close to that person. But I keep being like „but what if I listened to my intrusive thoughts? But I can’t remember doing that and I even have posts on here from around that time saying I was too afraid of that person and that I would never ever listen to my intrusive thoughts… but what if I tried to get rid of my ocd theme by doing this? Nah that’s not what I would do and I know that… I’ve never done any harmful things just to get rid of this theme this is stupid“ etc etc. Like I keep fearing I might’ve done this and done it for various reasons. But I can’t actually remember doing it. All those scenarios feel like they’re just imaginations. But I can’t let go of it. And usually for memories it’s that with time you start to be able to puzzle it all together trough evidence and u don’t forget bad things you’ve done. For example, I know that like a year ago I pushed my sister while I was having an argument with her. I remember everything from then because in my entire life I’ve barely ever done anything to others and so I usually remember those events almost 100% perfectly. I also remember sth from almost 10 years ago in which I called one of my friends (and ik this is bad, that’s why I remember it) fat. I lost a few details but I still remember what exactly I did and that the exact same day I called the parents and apologised bc I felt bad. But for this scenario, I’ve been ruminating on it for TWENTY days and I’m still in the doubting stage. I have spent hours ruminating by now and I still don’t have any actual memories back, just things like „but what if I was mad and then just did this and instantly forgot about it?“ and all this. But not an actual full scenario of me doing this even though it could only be a few months away. Idk what To do, I can’t continue living with the uncertainty. If it’s real, then I won’t even continue living. People like these are terrible and disgusting and don’t deserve living and everybody can agree on that.

Can OCD go into remission for a few years, and then come back years later? I feel like this is what happened to me. Around the ages of 14 to 16, I was fine, for the most part. Disassociated but fine, because although my dad's health has been declining slowly, I was still able to function/think clear/etc. The remission lasted until I was 21 and hit me like a train from then on. I have my good and bad days with OCD, but it's there again. Sometimes it reminds me of how it used to be, when it FIRST started; I was 11 or 12. Those REALLY bad days are few and far between. I basically describe myself as "simmering in anxiety" no matter what location I'm in or what I'm doing. The only thing that helps me is church or being around my church family as much as I can.

In my 24 years of living , out of nowhere I had the thought “what if I’m transgender” I tried to treat it as a silly thought , but then it kept popping up in my head and I started getting extremely anxious. OCD really is the tried and true doubting disorder , because what the actual fuck. I love being a man. I literally admire the male physique. I love being able to grow arm pit hair and not get judged. I do of course love women , and I am in touch with my emotions and I’m definitely feminine in a lot of ways , but I don’t want to change my gender. It’s just absurd. I really hate OCD #genderocd

hi everyone! i hope y’all are having a good day/night. this is gonna be a really long introduction text, with some questions i’d like you to answer at the end if you have the time :). my partner recommended me this app two months ago, when we found out i have ocd. i installed it right away, but procrastinated even opening it until now, always finding a new excuse, like i do when it comes to anything related to actually fighting “the voices” - as they like to call my ocd thoughts in an attempt to make them lose power. however, this week has been extremely hard, my partner and i have been constantly fighting for a week now over my ocd, as it keeps ruining the relationship, so here i am. i mainly struggle with relationship ocd. however, i’ve seen most people struggle with wondering if they truly love their partner or if they will fall out of love, while i struggle mostly with an intense fear of being abandoned, that has led me to entirely avoid my partner. we’ve been together for 5 years, on and off since until 5 months ago we were doing long distance, and that was extremely hard. we now live together, yet unless they initiate it and ask me if i want to join them, i avoid everything that has to do with them. i have become fully incapable of starting a conversation, entering a room they’re in, asking them anything, etc. planning dates and kissing them is unimaginable. it’s gotten to the point where i’m so in my own head that i don’t see them at all, hurting them over and over again by not catering to their basic needs. i cross clear boundaries in fear of asking them for something, i disregard their own pains and struggles due to being so focused on my own. i don’t listen to what they’re saying because i’m constantly reading between lines to see how what they’re saying relates to me and how it means that they don’t like me and will leave me. i’ve even started falling asleep on the couch because i’m so scared of going to bed and them not wanting me there. i compulsively lie all the time in an attempt to hide my mistakes and compulsions. the list can keep going forever, the fear of abandonment always takes over no matter what, and i always have a “reason” (excuse) for it. they’ve begged me to get help so many times, and at this point i don’t think we’re gonna survive this, as i don’t think im gonna get better enough to stop hurting them this badly in time. if it wasn’t me in this relationship, as their best friend, i would’ve told them to break up with their partner already, because this is no way to live for them. i started taking fluvoxamine 50mg two months ago, and im just now starting to see an ERP therapist, we’re gonna come up with an exposure plan next tuesday. i’m not fully sure what im looking for in this app as i feel like it’s mainly therapy focused, but i could use some advice, on both how to stop listening to the countless excuses ocd keeps coming up with to avoid stopping the compulsions, and to fully commit to ERP for it to be efficient from the start. and also - how long did it take for you to start noticing actual results with ERP? what are some things you would tell someone that’s just starting? any advice to do this as efficiently as possible? what’s something you would’ve done differently? and an extra question for those who started off in a similar place to me - what did your exposure plan look like? i don’t really know what to expect (though maybe sitting with that uncertainty is good) and really need this to work. if you made it to the end - thanks for reading, and you got this! you’re doing amazing <3

I always feel so lonely and isolated with ocd. I feel like I cannot talk to anybody about it. I haven't told anybody about my worst thoughts, not even my boyfriend who has been so so understanding about it. Then I see this mutual friend I just followed liking ocd posts on Instagram about similar themes to me. It makes me feel so relieved knowing that it's not just me struggling with ocd, and that people I know also have it. Makes me feel not so alone.

I always recommend seeking professional help because it’s safer and way more effective to do it with a professional since they know EXACTLY what to do. But if you can’t see a professional right now and you have no idea when you’ll be able to seek help from an OCD therapist due to money or where you live, here’s an extensive list of tools and resources to help you get better and/or stay recovered. -Look into OCD and Anxiety’s YouTube channel. They have an OCD course you can do for a fee, -Download either the Calm app or Insight Timer app for guided meditations, -Read ALL the books by Lee Baer and Martin Seif on OCD and anxiety, -Look into Therapy in a Nutshell’s YouTube channel, -Start doing yoga! Because exercise is good for you. I suggest the YouTube channel Yoga with Adriene, -Subscribe and follow the YouTube channel, Psychology With Dr. Ana for great mental health content, -Start watching Thich Nhat Hanh’s guided meditations and talks on mindfulness. Also, buy his books on meditation and mindfulness, -Look into OCD International’s website if you’re international (or is the US but having issues finding help outside of NOCD) for help, -If you are looking for inpatient treatment for extreme OCD, look up Rogers Behavioral center’s website. You can even reach out to them for help, -ERP scripting: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ -The Hidden Power of Swearing at Your OCD: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-the-doubt/201711/the-hidden-power-of-swearing-at-your-ocd -Taking The Power Away From OCD: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/taking-the-power-away-from-intrusive-thoughts -Worry Script: https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/WorryScript.pdf -What is ERP therapy: https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/ -What’s An OCD Trigger? https://psychcentral.com/ocd/what-is-an-ocd-trigger -Grounding Techniques: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grounding-techniques -OCD vs. Phobia Differences: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/related-symptoms-conditions/ocd-vs-phobia-how-to-tell-the-difference

Does anyone else obsess about having another panic attack or scan their body constantly for how they feel and if a thought or feeling about a panic attacks comes on, you’re more likely to start to feel panicky?

Is feeling the need to confess everything you’ve ever done to your partner a compulsion? My body and mind tells me that if I don’t that I’m lying to my partner about who I am or what I’ve done and that I should say something otherwise I’m bad. Can anyone relate to this?

How do people recognize the difference between relationship ocd intrusive thoughts and real thoughts about your relationship? I have been in a relationship for about a year, it’s my first long-term relationship and the healthiest, I am almost 20 years old, and I believe I have rocd (I haven’t been diagnosed but it’s pretty clear to me). The main thoughts I get are “what if I’ll lose feelings for my bf?, what if I don’t love him?, what if I’m gonna break his heart?” (it’s never about if he’s cheating on me or anything like that. He is a really great boyfriend and the best person to ever walk into my life, he isn’t toxic or bad in any way towards me or the relationship). Usually these thoughts occur before my period (luteal phase/pms) but I’m on day 6 of my period and I got these thoughts, which usually isn’t the case as I’ve said before. So I went into a spiral cus I believed that since I got these thoughts at a different time in my cycle, they must be true. Deep down I know I love my boyfriend so much, it’s just so hard to navigate whether or not these thoughts are just fake rocd thoughts or what I’m really thinking. Can anyone else relate?

I’ve been struggling with what I hope to be HOCD for over 6 months now and I’m starting to loose hope…I had always been attracted to women, had plenty of crushes on women growing up, fantasies included, enjoyed spending time with the one I had a crush on, would avoid the usual things seen as “gay” or “feminine,” you know the usual kid stuff. I never had any issues or desires back then to be with a man but suddenly a few months back out of literal no where i got a thought and it’s stayed with me ever since. I know deep down that I don’t want to do these thoughts and that I’d rather die then be gay or bisexual but then the “what-ifs” come up and even when they don’t come up I have this underlying fear of “maybe it will happen. Maybe you are gay” and it scares me. Yet my brain still tries to lie straight to my face and say “oh no, you like this don’t you” it’s like I don’t know anymore and I couldn’t live with myself if I even experimented with it because I know for a fact I would be repulsed and don’t want it. Please help. Going about this with the idea of accepting uncertainty just makes me more anxious and feel as if I’m accepting these thoughts as facts for me and I don’t know what to do.

i hate that all of my mental illnesses fuel each other. my anxiety fuels my OCD which fuels my anorexia and everything combined fuels my depression which makes me just miserable. i made my new year’s resolution to start at the source which would be my anxiety but i can’t help but feel like i’m drowning and it’s all my fault. my quality of life is just so bad, im young and i should be having the time of my life right now but instead i spend my days rotting and worrying about things i have no control over. i hate it all. but i’m writing this mostly to keep myself accountable, to remind myself of why i’m trying to get help in the first place. take care.

Hi yall!! The past week for me has been needless to say… very interesting. My doctor and I decided I would stop taking Lexapro after 3-4 years and switch me to Prozac as it has more research backing OCD relief. To be clear, I did experience remission on Lexapro, however I thought I didn’t need it anymore and decided to cold turkey!!! Great decision.. not! I completely relapsed and for the past year have been about 50/50. So while I thought I was weaning off lexapro and getting on Prozac I actually was weaning off lexapro and taking Paxil everyday. I caught this on my own because I questioned the generic name of the drug.. double check your pill bottles!!! Long story short I got that wrong righted and am a week into weaning off Paxil and onto Prozac. This past week has been very tough for me mentally, a lot of suicidally themed OCD. I keep thinking about dying, having thoughts like “kill yourself” but I know it’s not how I actually feel. I don’t wanna die.. this life is all we have. Why would I wanna do that? I get so confused though and because of the OCD I typically experience depression which fuels that fire a million times over… You might ask why I’m writing this? I’m writing this for those also suffering with a similar theme. We need to be doing our exposures for 1 hour daily, we wont get relief if we don’t. ERP helped me when I did it, but then I didn’t think I needed it anymore and eventually stopped. With that and medication, a healthy lifestyle and overall GOOD supportive people around you… it’s possible to experience full remission and put OCD in the backseat of your life. When I get back to full remission I will make sure to come back to this post and encourage all of us suffering. OCD truly is the worst. Have a good Saturday yall, even if I don’t know you I love you as a human being. ☺️

I have been facing the end of my relationship and the need for a job for a year now. Every moment of every day it’s there hanging over me. But instead of spending every moment working or finding work, I spend every moment frozen about it and feeling unable to do anything! I have OCD, of course, and a rare sleep disorder (KLS) that messes with my circadian rhythm, has no treatment (“just wait it out” for up to several years), and causes me to sleep 12+ hours and often 20-36 hours at a time. I wake up still feeling like I barely slept. It really sucks. I’ve tried so hard to establish a routine around a shifting sleep pattern, to reduce or manage stress, to listen to everything my doctors have asked me to do… My partner of almost 10 years moved out two weeks ago. She paid the rent for this past month but I’m on my own now. I just ordered pet food and am out of money. She had been covering about 80% of expenses this year til she moved. I had covered all of our bills and more for a few years before that, but she had to leave for her own sake, and I understand. 😞 I’ve never been this isolated and alone before. My family is going through a lot. My car’s been broken into and disabled twice recently (thanks Kia Boys) and I haven’t been able to afford to fix it this second time. This is a lot already so I’m going to post about my work search in the comments. I’m wondering if anyone can relate and, heck, if anyone knows somewhere hiring remotely right away.

i’ve been with my bf for 3 years, love him to death. recently we got into a bad rough patch where he nearly ended up leaving. we were getting ready to fix everything and move on when my grandma died. now ever since i’ve been having thoughts like “is he the right one” or “what if we aren’t going to last” lately it’s been advancing to “what if i dated __?” and i would never ever want to be with someone else but my bf and these thoughts are killing me. like my chest is so tight all the time and the thoughts never stop.

I got diagnosed with ocd recently from my therapist after having years of symptoms since I was a toddler and recently I have had a terrible dream with beastiality in it about 3 months ago and I woke up and cried. I went through the day as usual and then I told one of my friends and I sobbed because that is the last thing I have ever thought about in my life. Luckily my friend was there for me, but then the OCD kicked in. I’ve been having horrible thoughts and I’m scared, I don’t want to do anything to animals never have I ever had thoughts of such. I have two pit bulls that are my sweet babies and I have never had thoughts of anything to do with beastiality in my whole life and now I’m 20 just now being scared of this. It has been the worst ocd obsession I have had in a long time the last one I had lasted 3 years. I’ve been wanting to lock myself in my room and not look at my dogs because I’m afraid to even let them sleep in my room anymore. I stay up all night sometimes because I’m scared I’ll see another dream. My mind is starting to make think I want those thoughts and I’m so scared I’m tearing up whole typing this. I’ve been contemplating suicide because of this fear of doing sexual acts to an animal I would rather not live. I hate living like this and it has been hard to sleep with my partner because now I’m afraid to have intercourse which I have always been able to do with my partner no problem. But now the beastiality OCD has ruined my life and I don’t know what to do.

I’m so jealous of people without POCD. I’ve always wanted to be a mother and I would be an amazing one, but it would be mental torture for me with POCD, to the point where I wonder if I should be one at all. I hate this.

I feel like people don’t want to encourage me. I mean I know you guys encourage me but people that I have known for years don’t encourage me