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Saw some messed up stuff scrolling on twitter and it’s making my ocd spiral im so scared so I deleted the app for my own well being

I just started Sertraline 25mg and some days I feel fine, like I’m actually making progress and then all of a sudden I feel intense anxiety , and it makes my obsessions intense. I’m on day 12 of my medication. Does it get better ?

Im a Catholic and therfore I have scrupulosity too. Im a man and I cant live with my thoughts regarding sexuality. I find women attractive and I know that is the most normal thing in the world but somehow I dont know when or if it becomes a sin. I cant even look properly around when I am in public because everywhere might be a possibility for sin. I know that I cannot prevent any coincidences but I want those feelings to stop. Is there anything I can do?

How do you guys cope with taboo thoughts and not feel guilty especially when it attacks the people you love so much and you know a million percent that isn’t you. So why is this happening to me I’ve been through so much in my life and I can’t do with this. When I was younger I was molested and rape and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone so why does my mind do this to me please be kind as I don’t know how much longer I can take this

So I've been loosing waight and my strategy was skipping breakfast and lunch. Recently ive been having an ocd flare up. Should i start eating again just healthy? Anyone else?

this will most likely be a long winded post, but i just need to rant. thank u if u read it all. so i just recently learned that what i would describe as hypochondria, or just overall health anxiety, is actually a form of OCD. i’ve discussed it with my therapist but i only see her every other week and there’s a lot of other problems i have that makes this one kinda just get pushed to the side. for me, i’ve always been like this. i have one weird feeling, or pain, and instantly think i’m dying. in turn, i google the symptoms and read every single thing that matches and think i have it. most of the time i end up in the ER and they never find anything wrong with me even though i really feel like something is wrong. i’ve read stories about people experiencing the same thing and doctors not taking them seriously and it didn’t end well, and those stories stuck with me. i e went for everything you can think of. stomach cramps? hospital. chest pain? hospital. lump in my breast? hospital. migraine? hospital. i’ve had extensive testing done. MRI’s, CT scans, blood word, ultrasounds, everything. nothing has come back abnormal. my problem currently is about 5 months ago i was eating a waffle cone, i didn’t chew it good enough before swallowing it and it scratched my esophagus on the way down. ever since then i’ve had a feeling of a lump in my throat every time i swallow and it’s made me intensely afraid of eating solid food. i haven’t been able to eat at all. every time i’ve tried, it feels like bits of food get stuck. the problem is i’ve had 2 endoscopys (a procedure where they put a camera down your throat and look at your esophagus and stomach), a swallow test that looks at my throat muscles and if they’re working properly, a different swallow test that looks at how i swallow different consistencies of foods (thick and thin) and ct’s to rule out anything. the only abnormal thing that came back was that they found some cells in my stomach that contain something that, essentially, is a “precursor to cancer”. the way they described it to me is that i don’t have cancer, it wont turn into cancer in the near future, and it’s basically just “a slight increase” of chances of developing stomach cancer (which to be honest, this is something i’m not worried about because i already knew this. my grandma died of stomach cancer so i knew i had an elevated risk already) they’re going to do endoscopy’s every 3 years just to make sure everything’s good. the “lump” i’m feeing is nonexistent. there is no physical lump in my throat. NOW, because i’m not eating i can feel my heart constantly and i’ve convinced myself i have a heart problem and that if i fall asleep i’ll have a heart attack. i don’t sleep most nights and usually just nap when my fiancé gets home from work so that if something does happen, at least he’s there. also, a doctor i’ve seen mentioned i should get tested for MS because this throat problem i’m having mixed with other symptoms i’m having points to this condition. so on top of heart problems that i think i have, now i also convinced myself i have MS. i have an appointment on march 11th to test for it, but i’m still worried. there isn’t a minute in the day that i don’t think i’m dying. i would be in the hospital right now if i didn’t have a child to care for while her dad is at work. i can’t sleep because i think i will die if i fall asleep, i can’t eat because i think i will choke if i do, and i can’t go 10 minutes without thinking i can’t breathe too. i’m just exhausted. i want to not constantly think about my health. my fiancé is always calling me a hypochondriac and telling me i’m dramatic and it’s all in my head. even if that’s true, what i’m feeling is very real and it doesn’t make it easier to tell myself “it’s all in my head” i know my family and friends are getting tired of hearing about it, but idk what else to do. i just wanna go to the hospital and have them run every single test in the book to rule out EVERY health issue ever. but they don’t run unnecessary tests so i know they won’t. this just sucks.

Hi I'm new here, I have been suffering from somatic breathing ocd for like a month now but has gotten so much worse since like 2 days ago my chest hurts everyday bc I be so focused on my breathing I feel like I can't switch back to automatic anym until unless I'm asleep the thought of breathing is always running constantly in the back of my mind when I'm distracting myself or when it gets worse its the only thing I can focus on. I literally feel like gasping for air too. I'm scared I might damage my automatic breathing system or something like that. Im lost as to what to do I feel like I'm beyond fixable.

hi, i haven't posted on here for a while but i figured i should write/vent about what's been going on with me because it may help me. so in april 2023, my former best friend (we aren't friends anymore for different reasons not regarding this) gave me bedbugs. i never had bed bugs in my entire life until this happened. thankfully, it wasn't a full on infestation because i caught it very very early so it was very quickly taken care of and i took all the necessary precautions in this so i didn't give it to anyone else. but still, the entire experience traumatized me. it's just so disgusting and it's such an invasion of privacy. not to mention having to clean everything and steam EVERYTHING and more to get rid of them/make sure they are gone, covering my room in bed bug repellent and bed bug traps and steaming some more. it was AWFUL. i got rid of them thankfully and have been in the clear ever since no more bugs found, no more bed bug bites, no signs. but, about every few months i'll have this huge wave of paranoia/obsession worrying if i have bed bugs again. if i'm in bed and the blanket or my hair rubs at me lightly immediately get scared it's a bug and have to check by shining my light everywhere to make sure nothing is here. when it gets really bad when i can't sleep, i'll just go around my bed and check the corners with a flashlight to make sure nothing is there, nothing has ever been there. anytime i have an itch whether it's from a bug bite, random itch, dry skin, or anything else, i look up pictures of bed bug bites to make sure they don't look similar or i look back at the pictures i took of when i had bedbug bites. i feel like i can't relax because i'm constantly checking/looking things up. especially when i'm in bed and i have to go to sleep, i'm on edge. this comes and goes but recently it's been bothering me a lot and i don't know what to do. i haven't seen any bed bugs since that april, there are no signs of them being here, and i know all of this logically but i freak myself out and i obsess over it and it all feels so real and i'm stuck with the constant "well what if they are here". it's worse right now because i'm not medicated currently because i lost my health insurance and am waiting for the switch in insurance so i can get back on medication again. i feel like i'm going crazy and i just want to relax and finally just realize they are GONE and stop worrying myself like this. has anyone else ever experienced this? what can i do to help this? any advice?

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭

I've been working hard on managing my thoughts all week. It feels like each day i got weaker and weaker. To the point where I had to do the obsession. This is a frustrating cycle. I'm having one of those days where I would rather die.

[F20] As early as sixth grade, I've displayed symptoms of health anxiety/OCD. Every holiday breaks, when my mind isn't constantly stimulated and I'm stuck in the house, I find myself constantly fixated on a health issue. From heart failure, brain tumor, ALS, leukemia, everything. However, when school resumes and I'm once again occupied with academics, I don't fixate anymore (or at least very little only). But this year was different. We're barely eight weeks in 2024 but I've had multiple themes from schizophrenia trigerred by a Reddit post, cryptic pregnancy (btw im a virgin) trigerred by a delayed period, tetanus trigerred by doing my nails and once again, schizophrenia. During these times, I literally experience physical symptoms such as nausea & puking related to pregnancy, and jaw pain related to tetanus. But then, right now, I'm fixating on the thought that I may be developing schizophrenia. Two weeks ago, I was laying in bed when I think I saw a rat climbing on my bed side. I got spooked and when I was about to shoo it away, it's nowhere to be found. Less than 5 seconds in, my first thought was that was a hallucination. Decided to not dwell again on it until a similar thing happened days later. I was lying down in same position, when I thought I saw an ant in my bedside again. Memories of what happened prior flash back, and when I was about to look for it, it was genuinely gone. I was on the verge of a panic attack. I told my boyfriend about this but he said that it might really be difficult to look for that ant as my room was dark with only my night light on. Days later, it turned out there was a rat that my mom was trying to catch around the house and dead ants outside my room as my mom just sprayed on them. But I was still scared. Genuinely scared. Weeks have passed and I cant seem to shake the thought that I may be developing schizophrenia. In fact, it manifested to more visual pseudohallucinations. For example, I kept on mistaking things on my peripheral as bugs (as I read they're a common hallucination among people w schz). I've got intense eye floaters. Tiny movement from my peripheral, and my brain will try to perceive what is it and think that I'm hallucinating. I thought of my clothes hung at my door as a person. Tiny speck of dirt, I'd immediately think of as ants. In fact, I thought I saw a human shadow on our television turned out that it was the details of our door. For weeks, I've also been reading about this disorder and I think I've been manifesting their symptoms, policing my thought process, and reviewing my behavior. I've read that schz diagnozed are paranoid about stuff like being followed and watched, and all of a sudden, I'm thinking "What if I get those delusions?", "What if I'm being watched?" — and there goes that tiring cycle of overthinking. I've also noticed that most of them report of audio hallucination, and I just legit manifested it! I thought I heard my mom calling me from the living room! Oh my God. I've also been trying to contradict some symptoms. For example, I try to be expressive on my facial expressions as I read those diagnosed struggle with it. I've been tidying my space a lot lately as most schz patients often oversee them. I also been meticulous with my hygiene. I try to stay positive, and go out of the house, go to the gym, as diagnosed ppl often struggle with them. I continued doing some academic works since I'm on break, to see if I still have the same mental capacity. For the record, I'm an active student in our uni org, a dean's lister, and serves in my church. I'm in my final year of uni and the leader of my thesis group. To be honest, I'm scared. We're poor. We can barely afford treatment. I don't want this life. I'm only 20 — the prime years of my life. I've so much dreams. I want to have a job, move to an apartment in the city, hike mountains, ride a roller coaster, see my nieces and nephew grow up, surprise my parents with a trip to Italy, watch my friends succeed, see the world. I've only just experienced falling in love and to love. I hope to grow old, to love and be loved. And as I ponder on my current state, this is not the life that I want to lead. I don't to be my mind's own prisoner. I'm scared. And tired.

Just started therapy in January and working through ERP and was wanting to know what things have helped others when feeling the distress and not acting on the compulsion. There are times I feel like I can’t get through the distress feeling.

What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭

I just ended up confessing one of my real events to my girlfriend. I know I shouldn’t have (I haven’t confessed in so long 🥲) but today I finally failed. She literally laughed at it and thought it was funny. Even though I’ve been doomscrolling and in a state of terror all day. I know what I did wasn’t good, but her reaction kind of eased my anxiety. Classic mistake though, because now my brain is saying “You were finally allowed to confess something and you chose THAT instead of this much bigger thing?” I can literally feel my brain scanning for which of my reoccurring events to latch onto now :) Love this life. So fun.

When interacting with friends and family, I find myself almost constantly checking my thoughts to see if I am present with the people I love, or stuck in my head. The mental checking is what keeps me feeling distant and disconnected. Does anyone else experience this?

hello all im a male 26 kinda new to dealing with this. for as long as i can remember i used to really stress out about my health and if i was ever sick i would assume the worst ang google symptoms of everything multiple times a day. i was extremely afraid of throwing up as a kid which i think plays a roll in ocd recently i watched a tv show that affected my overthinking and cause me to spiral out. thats when the SOOCD started to happen, growing up i always was with women and dated women and still dating women i never had these thoughts until 6 months ago i now feel uncomfortable around other men, i dont like to make eye contact and im always checking for a groinal response or sensation in my body when i watch tv or out in public. its affecting my daily life and i dont know where it all came from. i get intrusive thought daily could be a made up situation or a image of something i saw on the internet.

My main thought is that something really terrible is going to come out of this (can’t even type it but you can take an educated guess). Throughout the day i’m really good, but when these thoughts happen, I begin to cry, as if something terrible has been confirmed. I know acceptance is the best thing for OCD (has helped me tremendously in my recovery for multiple themes), but I feel as though I can’t accept something so tragic. Thinking about how my mum would feel if something had happened to me or leaving her, and so soon arguably (i’m 21). This is also affecting me going to the doctors. Ignorance is bliss for me right now. Before I had a habit of seeing doctors quite frequently as a compulsion, but now it’s quite the opposite. It’s reaching up to a year since i’ve had my last appointment and would love another checkup as most of my checkups are regular annual ones. I’m deficient in low folates and lead to my hair thinning tremendously and have read on the official NHS website that same deficiency could lead to something serious if left for too long over time, thus I have a regular prescription from doctors. This isn’t affecting me badly in my day to day really but the thoughts are constant, so much so I believe they are real, and honestly scared for those few moments per day, idk what to do for acceptance a opposed to other themes :(

I always come back to watching straight then gay porn, then analysing my reaction. And now I had a stronger physical reaction to gay porn, so what if I'm gay? I thought I was over doing this but I'm back with the doubts and anxiety. Sorry for just complaining but my mind is doing circles again.

I was in a bad mood bc of my ocd and i was thinking about drawing something at the same time. during that time as well, i feel like my mind was asking the universe for a sign(idk i don't remember it well) and at that time, i dropped a plate and it chipped. now im too scared to draw bc it feels like a bad sign

I have only had this happen twice in all of my years dealing with ocd. Recently I woke up during the night to change positions and as soon as I did, an intrusive thought hit me so hard and so strong. It felt so real. I was really scared and really upset. I laid down and went back to sleep really upset. I eventually got past it. I always immediately tell the ocd “ that’s not true” whenever I get an intrusive thought. My ocd randomly brought it back up again and is telling me that I didn’t deny the ocd that night and that it means the intrusive thought is true. I don’t remember because some time has passed but I am sure I denied it because I always instantly do. We’re not supposed to but I feel I have to. I keep telling myself that I must have but even if I didn’t, going back to sleep and ignoring it is also denying it, right?