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Please give me good advice to manage all my evening at home when I am home alone please help me

At the risk of asking for reassurance, how did you guys deal with your ROCD after a breakup? Did you leave your partner or did your partner leave you? My OCD greatly affected my first relationship but I have come to terms with accepting that it didnt work out simply because we both decided we wanted to explore new things as we were very young and our goals did not align. Right now however I am in a much rougher spot because the person I was with does not want anything to do with me anymore and its been one of the most painful things Ive ever experienced simply because of how abrupt the discard was. Without the reassurance of having them by my side, everyday I question more and more what my actual feelings were for them. If I really felt limerence or just comfort, if I was attracted enough, if it ever felt "right," etc. My daily mood fluctuates from emotional numbness, jealous rage, and what I think is genuine melancholy only to then get a fight or flight response when I start to think that I was kind of forcing my feelings being with them. I miss so many things about them, I miss their body, I miss falling asleep together, I miss the comfort they brought me, I miss the chemistry that I felt couldnt be replicated with anyone else I know irl. Yet at the same time my brain just feels a massive void when I think of them now as if they never even existed or the dopamine rushes werent enough to make me really *feel* something for them. This automatically makes my OCD go and say “well, maybe you werent *that* attracted to them and thats why you had some doubts from the start.” I had similar thoughts when I was with them, but I also felt genuine excitement by seeing each other that I really just ignored my OCD and it did not impede much in how I perceived them or stop me from enjoying myself. The recurring “grass is greener” thoughts were definitely prevalent when I was with them but not even close to as bad as they are now that were broken up. They were especially inconsiderate of me and my emotional needs during the last times we spoke and that just made me feel like I had all the more reason to just accept my OCD and realize this person was never someone I truly liked. Its just so frustrating because even after all thats happened I cannot cope with possibly accepting that this was all a lie. I know that I felt great when I was with them even if the dynamic of the relationship itself was very imperfect. It just pains me that I probably will never see this person again and I will now have to deal with these thoughts and getting help on my own without them. This experience has warped my perception of relationships, of my own attraction, and what I even really want from a partner. So I’m genuinely asking, how did you guys deal with ROCD after a break up knowing that your ex partner will probably never talk to you again? I dont need reassurance, just want advice and examples of how to deal with this emotional turmoil. Any help would be appreciated in the meantime.

When he was a newborn I gave my baby an open mouth kiss (jaw opening) on his head. I’ve never seen anybody else kiss their kids like that. He’s almost a year old and I can’t get past it. I do it on camera on my hand in mirrors and on used to do it on my son’s head and cheek as a checking compulsion. One time I was checking on his cheek and he turned his head so it landed on his lips. I feel disgusted. I feel like that’s something that only happens between romantic partners. Also when he was 3-4 months old I was lightly stroking his back, the side of his leg, and then the inner thigh. I felt an intense amount of anxiety the entire time. I feel like I SA’d him with the inner thigh part. I’d compulsively check to see how far the crease of his diaper was from his private out of fear. I just want to be a good mother but I feel like a monster.

Hi everyone, I really need an advice. I discovered I have ocd two years ago. I tried to go to therapy for a few time in 2022 but it was terrible: my therapist didn't do erp and was convinced I didn't have ocd because I didn't have any physical compulsion (🚩). In November 2023, I started going to therapy again: finally, I received my ocd diagnosis. However, even my new therapist doesn't practice erp. She understands my disorder a lot better, but she doesn't give me homework or tips for exposures. I am not as desperate as I was some years ago, but I must admit I can't say I'm fine either. I constantly ruminate (even if I try not to) and I feel anxious almost every day. My main theme before was so-ocd. Now I have less obsessions regarding that, but I'm starting to develop r-ocd. I'm in a relationship since November and the idea of losing him or ruining our love do to ocd really freaks me out. Another thing I should add is that I live in Italy, and here it's very difficult to find a trained erp therapist. So my question for you is: do you think I should try creating a hierarchy of exposures on my own? Is it something that I can try? And if it doesn't work, should I try to see if NOCD can do therapy for people living abroad? It's very expensive and it wouldn't be in my language, but it seems to me that they are the only ones who really understand all this. Thanks to anyone who will take the time to read all this and give me an answer❤️

Saw a post today about the late blooming lesbians because this woman got married to a man and had two children only to realize that was a lesbian and now I don't know what to think as someone who is engaged to be married to a man that I love whole heartedly.. ✨️cue so-ocd✨️ Someone help 😭😭

Hey, this is my first post and I just need to get this off my chest. I’ve been suffering since 2019 now which feels like forever and in fact makes it feel more real as I can now remember back to times where I was struggling with this. I have had periods of calm but seem to have a flare up every year. I am yet to receive therapy but have been on Zoloft and am currently on Prozac. I am really disturbed by an image in my head that I may have done something sexually inappropriate with one of my dogs and have been suffering with this for years. I can’t work out if it’s a memory or not as it’s hazy but the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. It confuses me as I feel like if it had happened I would’ve felt guilty at the time and not just remembered it years later. I’ve always found bestiality abhorrent and can’t understand why I have the image and feeling of me doing this. He has recently passed away which caused a massive relapse as I’m now constantly upset that I can’t remember him properly and whenever I think of him I just get triggered which is distressing as I love him so much. I haven’t been able to get over this and just wanted to see if anyone could relate to this. I’m terrified of myself. I can’t tell my friends or family as I’m so ashamed by the content of my suffering and I feel so alone

For most of my life I thought what I was going through was normal. Before I started therapy, I had even 'accepted' that this was who I am... That I was going to be depressed, anxious, obsessive and compulsive for the rest of my life. The thing is, now I know that I don't have to be any of those things and for the most part, I'm not those things anymore. They weren't me, they aren't me, but they're apart of me. I've learned to manage them and my OCD and I couldn't be happier. Sure, symptoms come and go, sometimes more intense than other times, but I've learned how to manage them and I'm happy, I'm living in the moment more than I have for most of my life. You can do this too and if you're thinking about therapy, do it. I know it's not accessible for every person and I want to acknowledge that too and I hope you all get the treatment and support you deserve. This isn't forever and you have a community here.

I remember my therapist talking about surrendering to your thoughts does anyone want to expand and explain this.

Ordering Repeating Extreme overthinking Hours and hours doing my those OCD rituals Cannot read or write because of this Taking time while switching on fan/light etc.... Self harming No one understands about my OCD It's been 2 years Random crying and feeling helpless and lost most of the time Re doing and re writing and re reading Checking doors Arranging doormats sometimes takes like 20-25 minutes to arrange doormats Random and worst compulsions Example: Touch the door 4 times or else my loved one will die Then it becomes 4x4 16 Random imaginations of numbers Nothing becomes perfect Wasting all my time to study (I'm in 10TH GRADE)doing all these. Very slow while writing notes in class because of rewriting and my bench mates notices it sometimes and makes fun of it. Even my bestfriend doesn't understands me and laughs at it but she tries to support me but they are not understanding what I am going through. Compulsion while I go to bed when I am extremely tired and then I waste the next minutes or maybe hours doing those without sleeping even if I am tired or class the next day. Seeing all these my parents yell at me and makes fun of laugh at me call me mad or crazy.Mu siblings and my cousins laugh at me and says "Stop doing these.Why are you acting" "JUST STOP THESE". I ALWAYS DO RITUALS WITH THE ANXIETY THAT SOMETHING HAPPENS TO MY PARENTS.And I love soo much that I can't even explain but my parents don't understand why I am doing these and one day my father pleaded and cried saying that "Please stop this.Dont be crazy.You are making me sad and tense.These are just your thoughts". One day while going to a function(we were running late) and my family was in a hurry that time I was ordering the footwears which was kept outside my house it tooke me 8 or more minutes and my father yelled at me and He destroyed all of the arrangement with his leg and all my hardwork was ruined and watching this my sibling started laughing hardly and I broke down into tears and yelled back at him and said that I'm not coming without arranging these. COUNTING ALWAYS. Retyping things, My teachers noticed this during computer lab and yelled at me.

My sister randomly one day told me she had sex with our cousin and then every time I tried to ask her about what happened she would say it never happened or get mad at me for talking to her about it. I told a bunch of people and honestly i admit I think I wanted to get attention from people but it also made me feel like I was gonna explode if I didn’t tel someone. I ended up telling my roomate who was dating my cousin after he was treating her badly they broke up and she was sad so I told her that to make her feel better but now I feel guilty cuz why was I telling people her business? What if I was trying to smear campaign her without realizing it? Why did I want to shock people like what is wrong with me?

I saw a tiktok of this women talking about false memories and she was saying that false memories are impossible and that it doesn't exist. Then, I saw a comment that someone said people use false memory as an excuse because deep down their terrible people. Additionally, I saw another comment saying that false memories has been debunked. In the past few days, I just been feeling awful. My ocd has spiked and now I've lost all hope. My whole life, I never been thought I would be a terrible person and when this random memory, that I'm sure that it's true or not appear, I have a hard time trusting myself. After that, all mistakes I made in the past starts pouring in and I'm like, What the fuck is going on?!? I honestly don't see a future for myself. I don't see myself getting married, having kids, even accomplishing career dreams. What's so sad is back in January, I got accepted to go back to school to study graphic design. When I found out about the news I was extremely happy to finally do something that I want to do and move out of my lame hometown and start fresh. I don't even picture myself going to school in the fall. My life is pretty much dwindling.

I'm already going through so much. I just wish I could get it into my head that these memories of bad things are actually memories of intrusive thoughts I had that day, and not of real actions, because a person with OCD would never do what they most repudiate and abhor and which goes against their principles, and at that time I was already dealing with OCD, I was already avoiding small things for fear of causing harm. I didn't check everything like I do today because I didn't know how the rituals worked, but I always tried to be vigilant so as not to harm anyone, because the intrusive thoughts were intense and I was afraid they would come true. Apart from the fact that my little cousin has never changed with me, he loves me so much, he's affectionate, there's never been a sign that I've hurt him. He remembers little things from back then, he would remember something bad, right? But then it comes into my mind that he was asleep/sleepy and so might not remember. All the bad possibilities run through my mind and sometimes I get distressed, because I love him so much and it horrifies me to imagine that I might have done something bad to him. I don't have the strength to deal with all my problems and these OCD issues, I just want to come to a conclusion and get on with my life, because as well as the OCD I have other problems, such as my finances. Jesus, I feel like I'm going mad sometimes. I've talked about it here before, I know it's wrong to seek confirmation, but I need to get it off my chest, I'm already in physical pain from other problems, so having all these things on my mind makes it worse. I just wanted someone to help me, I'm desperate.

If anyone suffers with OCD harm or other OCD subtypes. ✨♥️ you’re not alone. Even though the my battle with OCD is won through the blood of Jesus. I have more healing to do. I’ve went through the compulsions (temptations); and the hospital visits for chest pains , and was sent home 🏡 because they didn’t see anything wrong , it hits spiritually. It’s spiritual warfare that’s why we are to put on the full armor of God to fight against principalities of the dark world. 🌎 it saddens me that for generations we have been suffering. Let’s turn our lives over to Jesus and let him help us.

I’m freaking out I had a dream where I cheated on my fiancé with my best friend partner now I just feel so much anxiety like I would never do that . I feel like a horrible person

Hi everyone, I wondered if anyone with ROCD can relate. When I’m with my boyfriend I’m constantly analysing my own feelings in order to answer the big question do I still love him? For example, if he’s in the mood ;) and I’m not. I think I’ve lost all attraction and should breaks up with him or if we are just chilling I worry that the spark is gone (we’ve been together 4 years) I then constantly try to find reasons why I feel this way. But I am hoping it’s down to ROCD as I still love and want to be with my partner but these thoughts make me feel numb so it is hard for me to fully understand and move forward. I also get very anxious that I missed out on experimenting when I was young. Ie going out to clubs and getting with boys. I worry now that if I’m around someone I find attractive this is an issue and it’s because I suppressed going out and experimenting. This is a reoccurring thought which makes me worry if I should even be in a relationship. However I know that I would never cheat on my partner. Both seem to me as intrusive thoughts I just can’t shift. Can anyone relate?

I don’t know if it’s ocd and I just wanna ask someone “if it’s causing me stress means it’s not real?” And I know that’s the worst thing I can do but still😫😫😫😫😫😫

I remembered this forum existed since I'm permanently banned from r/OCD on reddit. I went on this site and the sheer mention of ERP makes me want to scream and cry. I think ERP is torture and should be outlawed. I don't care that it supposedly cures people, that's called stockholm syndrome. I can't believe the so called best resource for OCD would advocate for such vile things to do to mentally unwell people. There is more out there than this mentally sanctioned torture.

ocd has been apart of my life since i was really little. and it’s taken over my life completely, causing other mental illness’ like anxiety. it’s hard for me to even get a job because i get so anxious and feel like everyone hates me. i haven’t worked in a really long time because i’m too scared of what people will think of me. i’m perfectly normal but i feel like i’ve been isolated from people besides my family for so long that i don’t know how to interact. i’ve never once been on a medication to treat any of my mental illness’ because i’m scared it will get rid of my the creativeness that ocd has given me (throughout the years i coped with it by trying to see the positive in my ocd even though it has hurt me so much) but i feel like i can’t move forward without facing these problems i have. does therapy/medication help? i need to feel happy again

Is it normal to be a month into ERP and still obsessing. On average how long before it makes it go away. I feel like its making it worse.

I feel so close to giving up