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Does anyone else’s OCD randomly get worse on a random day and all you can really do is just try to survive the day? If so, does anyone have any healthy ways of dealing with this?

Anyone else kind of shoot themselves in the foot by imagining your false memory in such precise detail? Adding certain details, reactions scenery, real trivial details …etc. It’s like I know I’ve done this to myself but it now feels so unbelievably real. I think mine is also possibly mixed with real event which doesn’t help.

I’m really struggling the past few days constant awful intrusive thoughts from the second I wake up!! I know this is probs down to mostly ruminating but why does it feel like I’m thinking these vile things on purpose? Like I want them? Still trying to practise mindfulness but wow I feel very lost at the minute 😭😭

I know that I’ve come a long way with OCD and have been able to do so much and function so much better these past few months. Still, I feel so burnt out. Does anyone else feel like this? I am in the midst of a little ROCD wave. It’s just frustrating. I feel like each time I start to do better with one theme, another theme pops ups and I’m just so done. I feel exhausted and tired fighting sometimes, but if I don’t fight it just gets to the point where I can’t function. I guess, and I know that this is unreasonable, but I thought I would be doing great forever and I forgot that OCD will always be there. I have better tools, so I recover more quickly, but still… not great. Not great at all. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent! I needed to get that out.

Sure I wasn’t perfect as a teen but I was better, I was a good person before all my mistakes. Now I constantly am tortured 24/7 seven days a week with obsessive thought over obsessive thought about my past about what I said and did. I’m disgusted nauseated and even typing this I’m realizing my brow is scrunched and I’m scowling at my phone. I wanna restart. Reset things before I was tainted, stained, unredeemable and unfixable.

Why does ocd have to get in the way and ruin everything you’re trying to enjoy I’m tired of it just don’t know what to do

I put too much on my plate. Im working full time night shift, a full time hybrid student, and doing clinical rotations all in the midst of buying a house and adding a third to my long term relationship. i thought i could handle it. i thought that if i wanted this enough that i could make it work but now i feel like my brain is on fire. Working nights has me so paranoid that i have to count my steps out 1-2-3-4 and sometimes feel completely glued to my seat counting 1-2-3-4 over and over to get the feeling of dread to go away. I am constantly ruminating and reassurance seeking to the point of breaking down every time i’m alone. My brain is full of all of the what-ifs so full that it’s hard to sleep. I had my first appointment with a specialist but due to everything going on, i fell asleep while waiting for the appointment to start (Telehealth) Before all of this started my OCD was just the counting steps and bouts of contamination fears and over cleaning but now im questioning my life over and over to point of pointlessness and its driving me insane. i cant do this. i will because i know i have to and it will be over soon but im so scared and i dont know how i can come out of all of this okay and intact with the people i love still around me. i hate who i have become.

i constantly think bc of the way my stomach feels i may be getting cancer or pregnant (not that i’ve done things to make that happen) i just overthink it and convince myself i did and i go crazy sometimes i feel like i have no one to talk to bc no one understands the way my head works.

What I’m looking for Has anyone ever - had an intrusive image - That’s vivid - In first person and felt “close” but you know it’s imagination - But you can still see/maintain awareness of the room you’re in at the same time - has all 4 of these points ever happened to anyone else at the same time?? Edit: AND - they only have OCD as a mental health diagnosis - They’ve never taken any major drugs I know I need to calm down on looking for people exactly like me but I can’t Therapy is booked in tho

still feeling like this :(

…Was one of the most heartless, cruel, and disturbingly ignorant comment sections I’ve ever seen. I genuinely want to scream and sob from the grief reading that comment section has caused me. ***SEVERE trigger warning because these comments were BAD. Please read with caution.*** The post was a girl with contamination fears sharing one of her experiences, where a makeup bag got contaminated by being placed by the toilet. An experience a lot of us can relate to. The comment section? “We know you’re faking this” “This is satire” “Grow up” “boohoo cry p*ssy” “so tired of snowflakes” “shut up liberal” Lots of cursing out and insults… And, one of the top, most liked comments?? “Just a reminder these people can PROCREATE and VOTE!!” I just….I cannot believe the cruelty of this world. This is why I struggle sharing my struggle. This is why there’s such a lack of mental health awareness—because anytime someone speaks up, they are punished and shunned and berated to oblivion! I PRAY DEEPLY that there IS good in the world beyond the horrors of that internet comment section. Needless to say…I won’t be viewing comment sections for awhile.

How do you all handle feelings of isolation? I feel so alone in this and I feel like I will never have a friend or partner that I can really truly talk about everything with.

I want to move on from my past relationship but can't shake it. Everything reminds me of her, and I know I didn't do my best to facilitate the "best" possible relationship. I need to take accountability; however, my life revolves around her. And there's nothing wrong with that because I love her. And I know she's moved on. I have been stuck in the past and still am. I play music sometimes which reminds me of her, and I am filled with joy. I guess I just need to stop. We can all push forward and realise that we are capable. (I say this but I almost contribute nothing to my family). (I have everything). I feel as if she is me and I am her because we are. (Or were. That is a very irresponsible and disrespectful connotation for me I feel not anyone else). I'm so selfish. The last message she sent to me was very respectful, but I continued to pursue her. And it poisons my mind. I understand that there is nothing wrong with love, but is this love or obsession? I've written an entire story dedicated to her but it still feels wrong. Again, I must stop. However, it feels like I cannot. Feelings do not represent the entirety of the situation. I feel lost, but I am not lost. (We are never lost). My father also molested me when I was younger and I feel as if I am the issue with everything. (In the context of my previous relationship I was). I have a sort of saviour complex, but I just need to let her go if I really love her. And me (If anyone is experiencing the same issue or has then I am here to tell you that it is okay). (Your thoughts do not define you, only actions). And by acting like a saviour I become nothing more than a pebble. (Pebbles are good). I am attempting to become my "true" and "authentic" self but feel so fake. I was extremely irresponsible in not thinking when getting my previous relationship. I also gave attention to another girl and I also feel (as I should) horrible. But we're worthy even if we don't think we push forward into the future. My relationship with my family, in my childhood, (Not representative of now) deeply effects me. Everyone is here for the first time, so we must consider everyone. And what my dad did to me was not justifiable. I have to forgive myself, ultimately, for what I did in my previous relationship in order to grow. I am growing. We all are growing. There is hope and light for everyone. I attempting to stay true to my self, but every day is a reminder that I don't really love myself. If I loved myself I would be perfect. (No one is perfect, and I am not perfect). I miss Lauren so much. But I know she is thriving. And I feel like the victim but I'm not. I feel as if she owes me something when she doesn't owe me anything. Not very often "consciously" but subconsciously I think I am a bad person. Which I am. There is no excuse or pity party event that will absolve me. And I embrace that fact. She is so strong. And I'll always admire her. I do not want to be absolved. I am a toxic person. And I always will carry this burden.( But there is nothing wrong with Acknowledging your faults). I just feel if I do one thing wrong, which everyone does things wrong, I will end up being supremely horrible. And I am horrible. (No one is horrible we are all human). I am full of contradictions. We all are, but I feel as if I am the only one. (I know I am not). I wish I wasn't so toxic. And I know wishing won't solve my issues. She was my sun. And she was never "mine," Which I thought. Possession is not love. Neglect is not love. Selfishness is not love. After we broke up, I could barely sleep. And I kept having sleep paralysis. I could literally feel my heart bursting out of my chest when I tried to go to sleep. (I am alright now and know that I am loved by myself). But I am not really okay. I always attempt to humble myself and it's working so far, but it's also not. I guess that's part of the process. There is only me. And I cannot blame anything on anyone, nor do I blame anyone. I am responsible for what I did. And I really want her back. But I know that is not the right thing. I am lost. (Or I feel like it). Always. (My love for Lauren). (I am deeply disgusted by my previous wanting of another woman. I never pursued anything, but I still feel guilty and I shouldn't). But I do feel guilty. We were both not ready for a relationship, I suppose. I must love my self. (I apologize for the grammatical errors).

I’m dealing quite good with my ocd. There are days where I just feel certain about myself and my feelings for my boyfriend. Other days, or even just moments, I am overwhelmed with doubts, like now. If I think about it, I cannot stand to leave my boyfriend, because I feel so safe and loved. All I want to know is that nothing can separate me from him. It’s really hard, sometimes I still think that it’s not ocd but it’s like I’m discovering a part of myself that has been hidden all of this time (I’m 25). Moreover I’m also dealing with past memories that I did not give much importance until now. I do not want this for me. I want to stay with him. I’m also dealing with a lack of attraction sometimes, because if I think about it, I do not get anything, probably because I’m still anxious. Just want to share this with you guys, if someone can relate and write about their current condition it would be very nice to read about you. Hope you are doing well.

Hello Solo My psychiatrist prescribed me alprazolam A quarter for the morning and one for the evening to calm my extreme anxiety So yeah I've gotta say that even for me, a person that has suffered with extreme anxiety all the life This time around it's been crazy But I'm also afraid of becoming addicted to it Any experiences?? Opinions? Anything?

Does it ever piss you off that other people can just think normally and not get triggered by the smallest things? Like I’m in debate class right now and this girl is practicing her speech and keeps repeating the phrase “then she wouldn’t have been raped and beaten” and I’ve had MAJOR rape ocd issues in the past so it just kinda triggers me and it got me wondering and kinda pissed off about how normal people think you know what I mean??

Today I was reading “a court of thorns and roses” and when they introduced the Bogge all I could think was “oh my god this is ocd!” It beckons to you begging you to acknowledge it so it can feed on your fears and try its best to break you down, you can listen to it and let it be there and sit with that uncomfortable feeling like Fayre did but don’t give in, don’t give it your attention. Don’t look at it

ROCD, MOCD, HOCD, SOOCD, POCD. The worst ones I'm flitting between right now, is H and P, the ones that feel the worst and are the most sickening. Up until 2 weeks ago, I was doing well and feeling more positive. Today my mind has been trying to go back to where the POCD actually first started, or the biggest trigger that I can remember. Never a good idea to do that. It's gone back to my friend's child. Remembering at a wedding when she was so pretty all dressed up, really beautiful. And I don't know whether it's the physical and mental state I'm in now that's doing it, but it makes me feel like I re-acted mentally and physically to thinking that. The worst thing was, she was really beautiful, really photogenic and there's a cloud in my heading giving me this feeling of I reacted in "that" way and wanted to. I didn't. But I'm in major anxiety right now, because I'm "feeling" it. Why? Does that mean I am? In my head it's questioning I'm in denial. It makes me feel sick. Ever since then I worried about being around ,not just her, but other responses that I felt would trigger that. Oh my god, writing this down is making me feel sick and anxious and I've convinced myself I'm evil. I don't want to do anything like that, I swear. All this is ruining my potential for a friendship/relationship because I don't feel I can ever be around him because of what is going on, how crazy and psycho I am, and on a physical level with them. And I really them them too and loved spending time with him. I've always avoided relationships in the past, because of my confidence, and I've missed put. It makes me feel so sad, because I'm not evil. I seem to convince myself I'm the P word (I can't even say it), that I'm gonna harm someone because I get angry or upset, that I'm other worse things as well. That I can't do this, and I'm gonna fail. Right now, I feel like I've undone everything positive I've done and experienced over the last couple of months. Which makes me spiral more, I dont want that.

Worried that I’m gonna speak negativity into existence after seeing a video on tiktok saying that you speak things into existence. Dude I hate this so much. I hate this so much.

I steal stuff all the time, not from her but just in general. I took a pencil from a teachers desk while I was subsititute teaching because I just loved the way it wrote and it has such a good grip on it I don’t know. It was so stupid of me and now I feel giiity for that now. I have adhd and my impulsivity makes it hard for me to recognize the consequences of my actions and how it eel so guilty for having this sense of entitlement. I’m worried this impulsivity has led me to be abusive by begging for my ex boyfriend to come back to me because I think I should just have what I want all the time