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the NOCD Community

Lately my ocd has shown back up big time. I’m coming close to the end of my pregnancy and my hormones typically really affect it. Currently living in the existential/ harm themes and fear of developing psychosis and going to hurt my loved ones! Questioning if things are real too which then makes me even more anxious because I think I’m slipping into psychosis! Anyone else experience this? Just not the headspace I want to be in before birth

Is hoarding a symptom of OCD? I tend to hoard things electronically. I tend to add a bunch of videos to my YouTube watchlist. I save a lot of items in my reading list and I add so many songs to my playlists. Is this normal, or could this have to do with my OCD? Thanks for reading

Does anyone recall what triggered there ocd or has anyone gotten a proper explanation of why this happens? I know people say it attacks what you love the most. And can someone explain HOW it feels so real. I’m SO tired.

So long story short I used to watch lesbian porn because I realized I was a very sexual child growing up and it aroused me. Still always had crushes on boys my whole life. And I finally got a bf who is the sweetest guy and I love him so much. I know I’m not gay but ever since ocd my whole thought process has changed like one time I was kissing my bf and bc of this disorder it’s hard for me to get aroused with him rn though I know I am because I used to feel it when we got togther a lot and I’m still very much attracted to him in every way but I guess bc I did t feel aroused while kissing him I realized I was trying to think of lesbians but I caught myself before and I told myself that’s not me like why did I go straight to that. And I realized my thinking has become so black and white anytime my bf does something and I question it my mind is it’s because you’re a lesbian. Whne I know that’s not who I am I have always loved men and I want the whole husband kids and white picket fence life and everything and I have this amazing bf who loves me who I jjst want to be with I know I’m not gay or on the spectrum I do find lesbian porn arousing because I am a sexual being but my head can’t seem to understand that I jjst love men and only want to be with them. I know OCD doesn’t reaping to logic but my libido is low again and I just want to kiss my bf and sleep with him. Being with a women doesn’t excite me and everything I do with my bf I wouldn’t do it with a women I’ve always wanted a bf and now that I get one this shit happens. Has anyone experienced this pleas help I know I’m not gay I know I love being with men it’s just hard to see that to especially because my loss of libido.

I obsess on being lonely all the time. I feel like I’ve always struggled with feeling alone my whole life. Idk if it’s because my parent took their life or what it is. But if I don’t have a best friend at any given time it makes me feel like something is wrong with me and I’ll be forever alone. I do have social connections I just always feel like I’m not part of the “IN” crowd. Not sure why.

Went down the rabbit hole this morning after I got off a call with my nurse practitioner. We decided to up my fluvoxemine and change from Zyprexa to Abilify because my intrusive thoughts and depression seem to have worsened. For whatever reason after I got off the call, panic set in maybe about changing meds or upping my dosage. My mind was racing and I couldn’t calm down. I probably said “kill myself” and “I don’t want to kill myself” a hundred times. I haven’t had a panic attack in a few weeks and this one was bad. I’m finally calmed down but still having the intrusive thoughts. What have I done to deserve this. I can’t take it anymore.

Went on this date with a very creepy guy and my friend had encouraged me to go becuase she thought it would help me get out of my comfort zone and I agreed after thinking about it for a little while because before I went on the date he seemed nice enough and I decided I would go and I was explaining to my other friend why I went and I mentioned that my friend had encouraged me and that I took her advice because I know myself and I can be really picky so I was trying to not be like that but then I worry that I’m like putting the blame on her even though it’s not really her fault that I chose to go and she had good intentions either way but I feel bad telling people that and I don’t know why I did and now my brain keeps telling me that I’m blaming her and that it’s her fault but it’s not her fault but now I keep getting those “what if it’s her fault” things and I keep saying no she just encouraged me and that isn’t anyone’s fault. And I would never say out loud its her fault that I went on the date because that is literally an insane thing to say, but I also wouldn’t have gone had she not encouraged me. She was just encouraging me to do whatever she thought I wanted to do so i shouldn’t feel this way idfk what’s going on.

Did anyone completely stop drinking alcohol because of OCD, and if not, how are your symptoms with it?

I think I've hit rock bottom with my SO-OCD and ROCD. Now I am not certain what I feel. I keep having this depressing thought/feeling that I'm suppressing/giving up a long term relationship with a woman. I keep feeling the urge to check how I feel about being with a woman. When I ask myself, I don't really feel anything about it, it doesn't excite me and then I remember how much I love my husband and want to just be with him. Can OCD make you feel false urges/desires? Please anyone, help me out. Will I overcome this?

Hey guys! Just wanted to give a friendly reminder that OCD will do everything in its power to distress us and make us think our theme is real. OCD will cause false feelings, sensations, and urges but just remember it is a symptom of OCD and not indicative of our real wants and desires. Here’s an example of how much OCD will affect our bodies. I once had a really bad episode of pregnancy OCD (a theme where i convinced myself I was pregnant even if it was biologically impossible). My OCD clung onto it so it intensely convincing me I somehow had to be pregnant that I literally missed a period that month fueling my OCD even more. Spoiler alert: I was not even remotely pregnant, but that’s a prime example of how much OCD will literally manipulate our bodies in order to keep us in the OCD cycle. We got this guys! Keep fighting! 😊

I’m new to this app so this is a little weird for me but in really need help. I somewhat recently developed (like 6 months ago it started to get really noticeable) psychogenic itching and it’s horribly bad. I’m at college rn and have a lot of home life stresses on top that (grandpa passes, parents splitting) so I understand why the itching is getting so severe but I do also think as I become more aware of my ocd and learn about it that it is also contributing to worsening triggers/traits/symptoms of ocd as a whole. I’m okay with that as it means I’m learning about myself but god the itching is unbearable. I’m super sensitive to temperature (when I’m getting physically warmer mainly) I’m very aware of how my body feels and that is a huge trigger for this. Anyways, my ENTIRE body (literally everything but my feet) get insanely itchy within seconds of realizing I’m getting warmer, I get nervous about it happening, I think about it when I wasn’t before, I get flushed from something, or even just having to transition from one place to another. I keep randomly missing classes, not going to eat, if I get frustrated with homework I have to take a break, chores, I can’t even work out because the heat of doing so causes it. I need to know how to get rid of this it’s killing me. I know I’m not supposed to itch and when I don’t it just gets stronger and stronger until it’s so uncomfortable I have no choice, then when I start to itch it gets even worse. I can’t mentally fight this and make it stop because it’s SO bad. Please tell me I’m not the only one dealing with this issue and PLEASE tell me someone knows a way to stop it that isn’t just exposure response therapy (that is totally an option but I personally can’t do anything with that till I’m home from college for the year). The more it happens the more I worry about everyday and the worse it gets. It was like maybe once when I did physical activity at first and only on my head then my head when doing homework and then the full body very rarely and now it’s everything multiple times a day. It just happened from me moving a box off my desk in the dorm. This is scary please tell me someone knows what do. (Sorry for such a long rant).

I called a therapist to consider switching my therapist and told her about my thoughts and then she asked me “is it the ocd thoughts? Don’t you have a plan to do it?” SERIOUSLY?????????????

The last three days have definitely been hard on me, seemingly out of nowhere. I’m not trying to let it ruin my progress but it is hard to not slip into old habits and just sit in the discomfort and sadness Today my mind hasn’t even been racing with thoughts. It’s just been a feeling, I guess that then becomes a thought, that I am truly gay, and that all the thoughts I’ve had over the past 7 years that reminded me of my last SO OCD episode was just me being in denial. OCD is so good and so convincing and it feels so insanely real that I am just truly in denial, like I could say I’m gay right now and it has meaning. It feels like he just let me think I had him beat, and build this amazing life only to take it away from me and make me leave my wife to go be with another dude. He knows how to prey on my comfortability I do have with the lgbtqia+ community, and twist it in so many distorting and confusing ways. Today is just a feeling of sadness, sad that I’ve been using SO OCD to lie to myself, sad that I’ve led my wife on, sad that the life I dreamed of since I was a kid was just me repressing my true sexuality or me just now rediscovering it, after one stupid thought I had while having sex with my gf. I know that these thoughts and feelings, including the next one I’m writing about, are my OCD, and that I’m doing well in just sitting with them, but the lack of engaging in composures just feels like I’m accepting that he’s right. To anyone that took the time to read this, thank you, and keep up the fight. These moments really suck but we can get through them

Hey all. I’ve been struggling really badly with mental compulsions. The more I don’t want them to be there, the more they come. Mental checking/reviewing is the easiest way to describe it. Anyone have any tips on how to break the cycle?

How can you do exposure therapy? like I’m not in therapy but how is it out there for you guys?

So I’m getting treatment in person and today I had a phone call and it was basically asking questions to see if it is ocd.like an assessment. On the phone there was a lot of questions and I had to answer with numbers So for example she would say a statement “I excessively wash” and then I answer on how much I experience it : 1-not at all 2-a little 3-moderately 4-all the time But now I feel like I lied for some questions and just that I’m lying that I have ocd and using it as an excuse and that I’m just not bad enough. Like I’m scared I’m lying saying I experience some of the things. Like my head lately keeps saying that I’m putting it on and that I don’t have it or using it as an excuse I’m scared what if I don’t have it like right now it’s telling me I’m lying. I feel like I’m making it all up Because a lot of questions around ocd I never hear them talk or ask me about a lot of themes like Pocd Rocd So ocd So when I don’t experience things they ask about like symmetry , ordering or harming others it makes me feel like I don’t have ocd

I’ve been posting a lot lately because I’ve been super scared of an old theme coming back. All because of a TikTok I saw about someone who potentially was going to hurt their pet. I’ve had ugly themes like this before but it was a long time ago and I got over it but now because of this TikTok I saw-I feel it coming back and I’m scared I don’t want to think those thoughts again or make connections to my past that weren’t a big deal- If there’s someone who overcame an old theme, how did you do it? What did you when it was coming back? I just want to feel normal for once without this crap.

I looked back at my life wondered if I did terrible things and just don't remember and as much as I can sit here today and say to myself I know I would do that, and I could never forget if I did... I still can't trust myself. I hate this

I’m still a minor and living with my mother. I want to talk to a doctor about OCD because I fall into place with quite a few symptoms. The only issue is I need to convince my mom. She literally scares me, so it’s hard talking to her. And with stuff like this she typically yells at me and tells me I’m being dramatic. She doesn’t listen to how I feel till it bugs her. For instance, I injured my knee about 6 months ago while figure skating. It took her two months of me complaining to finally LOOK at my knee. She ended up taking me to a doctor where I was told I needed physical therapy, an x-ray, that I injured a lot of tissue and muscle, and that my kneecap wasn’t in place correctly. Moral of the story, something was wrong for months and she didn’t bother to care for it till she decided it was time. I’m worried she’ll push this off. Or punish me in a way because I’m “trying to be mentally ill” But this OCD stuff has been happening since I was younger, but keeps adding more. If anyone has any advice please tell me. Is there any way you think I could get her to let me speak to someone? Or any way I could “prove” my case? As an extra detail my mom works at a place that deals with mentally ill people, and lots of people who have ocd. There has always been a running joke that I’m autistic, because I count lights, and do a lot of weird stuff. One day while in the car she was talking to someone and whispered “but what she does (as in me) isn’t Autism, that’s all ocd” And that’s when my world clicked into place. I started doing research and found it easy to relate to ocd folks. She hasn’t mentioned it since. Anyways, thank you for reading. Have a good day stranger :) Take care

What even is the difference? Lately I’ve been terrified of subconscious memories, it’s been a huge fear that my false memory is a subconscious memory rather than false? Especially as it contains a real detail. Mine false memory for example started as a ‘what if’ then moved onto a flashing image , then moved onto me ruminating adding details getting muddled with reality and imagination etc, and now I’m stuck. I’m currently just rotting away in bed. I don’t see any point in anything i think this is the lowest point of my life.