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Hi, are some of y’all undiagnosed too?

People don’t understand how much ocd takes over your life, here’s some of my old compulsions through the years, I can laugh about these ones now as I’ve managed to stop them. Although I’m yet to beat false memory ocd. - Checking the knife draw before bed 14 times just to be ‘sure’ the knife’s were all there. - Filming under my bed before I went to sleep to make sure no one was there. - Barricading my door at night as I had a fear I would sleep walk and ‘hurt’ someone. - Video myself doing my nightly compulsions (locking doors, turning lights off, checking everything etc) to make sure it’s done. - running up and down the stairs 44 times before bed to make sure no one dies 😅😂(honestly no clue) - tapping an even number of times on each side of my body. - whenever I made someone else a drink I would have to re-do it about 10 times and video it, as id convinced myself I’d poisoned it🙃lol I mean I could go on forever but here’s some!! I’m hoping this makes someone feel less alone as I’ve stopped this now with a lot of work, it is possible!! False memory ocd is next for me , I’m hoping I can beat this as I have the above.

Suddenly got an ocd thought about being paranoid that someone is watching what I do on my phone. Like—they have access to my screen as if I’m screen sharing but they’ve hacked into my phone. So stupid. I’m treating this like a diary entry just to get it out of my system and out of my head.

I don’t know how anyone does it! I’ve tried so hard to face my intrusive thoughts because I’m so tired of my mind telling me to do things over and over or else my mom will die. I know it won’t happen but my mind refuses to let me let it go. I don’t mean to bother anyone who isn’t religious but I just have to also get this off my chest. I’ve never been more ashamed of myself for how I’ve acted today revolving God. I love God more than anything and yet I can never fully put my faith in him because I’m so scared. No matter how many quotes and bible verses I read telling me to let go of my fear, I can’t. I’m terrified to even move at this point. I understand I need to get a job and get outside more. But how can I do that when I too scared to leave my bed because I know what my day will consist of. All I do is sleep because I’m so drained, I’ve completely lost myself. I just keep telling myself others have it worse because it’s true, I just wish these thought would go away because I’m tired of feeling like I’m crazy.

went to a friends dorm earlier today & I commented on how neat it was and he said “oh I’m kinda ocd about those things” I didn’t know what to say so I just let it go but it made me feel really uncomfortable. how do you guys deal with when people say those things?

Hey everyone so one thing I was wondering is what people do with items they think are contaminated. I know I will never use the item again but I don’t wanna throw it away. I’m unsure of what to do?? :(

I know intrusive thoughts are a part of OCD, but I keep having thoughts that I know I don’t believe in pop into my head. For example, I just lost my cat two days ago. I am beyond heartbroken. But I keep having thoughts in my head like “I’m glad she’s gone” or “it’s a good thing she died”. I don’t believe that at all (but I think my brain is making me think I do). It’s really upsetting me…

Hi this is my first time posting but I’ve been struggling lately with myself because of my ocd. Has anyone ever realized they hold a lot of resentment towards others because their life isn’t controlled by ocd? For me, I’ve recently realized I have resentment towards my siblings because they live completely normal lives (i.e. dating, friendships, work) but I struggle just to be alive some days because my ocd holds me back. I feel so incredibly guilty about it all because I find myself being jealous over their happiness when I don’t think I’ve ever even been happy. I’m not sure what to do about this and it’s affecting my relationship with my family because I’ve started distancing myself from them due to the overwhelming negative feelings.

everytime i have an intrusive thought im always saying “stop” or “shut up”. It only gives me temporary relief. Does anyone else struggle with this? If so, what do you do to reduce it?

Hello my OCD friends, haven’t been on here for awhile. Very unsettling experience this morning when I went back to sleep because I was exhausted. It was like half of me was asleep, and the other half was awake and aware of all the weird things taking place: Vivid, yet shallow dreams, they were nightmarish with a truly crazy undertone that really makes you feel like your brain has gone insane. Then came the tingles, all over body, which turned into total numbness. It’s like I was trapped in sleep. Every time I tried to get out, this creepy darkness kept pulling me back in like a vacuum, and the more it pulled me in, the more I heard this “paper ripping” noise in both my ears.. louder and louder. Clearly an auditory hallucination. When I finally busted out of there, everything instantly went away. But I was left rattled, I cannot believe my mind could behave in such a horrid way. I’m honestly afraid to go to bed tonight. It was like a nightmare on steroids. With physical sensations included. And fear like I’ve never felt before. Thought it might be a seizure or even death. Anyone? Scared 🥺 Thanks guys

I’ve been going through what I suspect is depersonalisation for the past 6 months (triggered by a bad ocd episode) It’s been a really bad period and after this much time I feel like my depersonalisation (if that’s what I have) has gotten so complex that I’ve started to really forget who I am, how I used to act, what I believe in, I feel like I’ve completely lost my own identity. Thinking about past memories hurts, thinking about people I love hurts, I am not sure what to do anymore. I have been told to try and get on with my life by many people online and the depersonalisation will go away by itself, unfortunately that is not the case as whenever I try to get on with my life it gets worse and I feel even more disconnected. I feel like the only time I feel like I’m getting somewhere is when I sit and try to think back of the ocd episode that triggered all this, almost like I have unprocessed emotions from that episode that needs solving in order for my depersonalisation (if that’s indeed what I have) to go Please, if you’ve been through something similar let me know, have you ever felt like on ocd episode is holding you back from your life and is making you feel disconnected from yourself until you go back and process it? As if it was some sort of traumatic memory that needs processing? Don’t hesitate to leave a comment and thank you in advance :)

Hello, My son is 22 and started having intrusive thoughts about hurting himself and us his parents. We have tried outpatient therapy, he has seen a physiatrist and has been in therapy all this year. He started with these thoughts after watching a very violent show/video game and kept picturing himself causing harm to his father, then moved to me, then his sister. The guilt he feels for feeling these things and having these thoughts becomes overwhelming at times to the point he thinks of irrational solutions. Such as cutting his hands off so he dont ever put himself or us in any kind of danger. He did really well for a couple months but now his meds don't seem to work. He's not motivated to do anything. He's never driven, he stays home all the time. Is afraid to socialize. Has gained a lot of weight. As a mother I dont sleep, worried about him. I feel like we walk on eggshells around him. Have had to move anything sharp out of the house. Please tell me he cab get better and that there is light at the end of this dark tunnel. We as a family are desperate. I love my son and there is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for him. But I feel like he's not motivated to help himself and life is passing him by to the point he feels he has no purpose in this life. Please help.

People who weren’t diagnosed and/or didn’t even realize they had OCD until they were older. Are there any stories or memories you look back from when you were younger and now see the OCD gremlin laughing in the background? For me I just recalled the other day how starting in elementary/middle school, and lasting for years, that I refused to allow myself to fall asleep on my back because I was afraid of my tongue falling loose and choking on it while I slept. I even just recently learned how obsessive thoughts about death are common for people with OCD, and I can recall times from when I was even younger of just thinking and ruminating about the afterlife. Not that these are necessarily 100% OCD related but…

So I made some REAL terrible past mistakes, but due to OCD I ruminated about them last night and cut myself for the first time ever (I’m 20) I didn’t do it in a dangerous place like my wrist or anything and I used a razor/it was not that deep hardly any bleeding etc. But I don’t trust myself to not turn to this again in the future, cause I liked it. (I struggle with False Memories, Intrusive-Thought-Action-Fusion, Magical Thinking etc.) Advice for embarrassment/distress?

I’m so disappointed in myself right now I didn’t exercise before I ate my breakfast and now OCD is making me miserable and I just want to be happy I hate this!

How do I forgive myself? Last night I spent 3 hours searching online how Jesus is true or not. I finally gave in to compulsion big time, and even then I feel I need to do more. Cause I stopped searching cause I felt so tired. How can I go back to before? I felt I lost my progress that I have been working on for the past 2 1/2 years. I’m in despair right now.

Hey y’all, does anyone else fear that the world is a simulation / nothing and no one is real? When my OCD flares up, I feel like I am being controlled / watched, like I’m on the Truman Show, and that everyone around me is a robot / simulation? It can be incredibly distressing and I’ve spent HOURS performing compulsions. At school, work, when trying to fall asleep.

I work at NOCD. We removed the search feature because the user experience was challenging, and we wanted to see if it was valued. What makes search valuable to you in this app? I’m curious to get your thoughts, so we can improve the functionality

I can’t search up stuff on NOCD anymore…

I'm sitting in a hospital right now having what they think is an OCD episode...worst I've ever had and I'm terrified. Like I hate hospitals and tests and waiting because that starts the worry cycle all over.