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Smoking weed just makes me paranoid and it seems like my OCD becomes much worse. I feel pressured to smoke because people around me think it’s the greatest thing on the universe. I want to be able to smoke but it just messes with my head. Is this common?

Hello! I’m Jen, and new to this app/community but definitely not new to OCD. I’ve been experiencing obsessive thoughts on and off for 30 years, since I was 8. My Pure O always flares up when I’m going through periods of intense stress. I’m currently in a really bad place with my OCD—I’ve been experiencing a resurgence of obsessive thoughts (I think “assaultive” is a more fitting description) for the past 2 months. My aunt, who was more like a mom and who I felt loved me more than my parents, died relatively suddenly February 5th. The first month after her passing I felt fine—I was just kind of numb and disbelieving. But the next month, I had a panic attack at work so severe I had to go to the ER. And since then, my OCD, anxiety, and panic disorder have all been working in conjunction to make my life as difficult as possible. It’s been so frustrating because before this, my mental health had been in a really good and stable place for EIGHT YEARS! And now, in the wake of my grief over my aunt, I feel I’ve been reduced to that frightened 8 year old girl I was when this started. I just want my life back! My current themes switch back and forth between fear of ki****g myself, fear of ki****g loved ones, and fear of going insane. Logically I KNOW that because these thoughts cause me this much distress and pain, I am not likely to act upon them. And I also KNOW that I’ve never acted upon any of my dozens and dozens of intrusive thoughts I’ve experienced over the years. But KNOWING is not the same as BELIEVING and I’m just constantly terrified that the worst things I can think of will happen. In the past, I found 150mg of clomipramine to be very helpful so as of Tuesday 5/7 I’m back up to that dosage. The problem is this medication takes 4-6 weeks to make any noticeable difference. So I’m here to try and find other ways to help myself in the meantime. I’ve been aware of ERP for a few years but I’ve never done it before because A) clomipramine has always been highly effective on its own, and B) honestly I’ve been too scared. But now I’m sort of at the end of my rope when it comes to dealing with this monster and I’m willing to try anything and everything that could help. Of course I’m also terrified I’m the most hopeless case and it won’t help me and I’m a lost cause, etc. etc. It would help me to hear about your experiences with this program, your success stories and coping mechanisms any of you have had success with. Thank you for reading this whole thing, and I hope to read some hopeful messages. 💛

hi everyone, i’m new to this app and it’s taken me a lot of courage to even post this or publicly say anything regarding my OCD because i feel so much shame and guilt and distress because of my POCD intrusive thoughts. it’s one of the most draining, most anxiety filled things ive ever been through. i’ve had OCD since i was little. i’ve had different themes ranging from my sexuality to health ( i still struggle with health OCD ) from awful morbid thoughts about my mother and now i’m having thoughts about children. i’ve been struggling with POCD for maybe almost 2 years and even though i know it’s OCD, im still constantly being mentally reminded it is a reflection of me. i keep getting to a point where i feel as if im starting to get better and even though i keep having a strong urge to compulse, i don’t proceed to and it’s been helping a lot. but then i get into a state where i start questioning “ what if i really don’t have OCD and these thoughts are genuinely who i am “ then i give into compulsions to check if im really an awful person. so it feels as if im back to square one. i really need advice and help and i want to know if anyone is experiencing the same thing and how you deal with it. thank you for taking the time to read this :)

I seem to be just letting the thoughts and ruminating go through my head and not challenging it, not even agreeing with it, but not doing anything. Like it's all being considered, making it feel real. Is this what is supposed to happen? It's making me feel like something I'm not because not fighting it. My whole life has convinced me anyway. I don't like it. It's making me feel like someone I'm not. I've elevated all the false stuff and now I'm letting myself go with it.

Hi everyone. I really want to go back to enjoying my life. I know its possible as i felt like this before 7 years ago but i am to much in my head to remember how i snapped out of it. I keep having panic attacks. I know there panic attacks. I know there is nothing seriously wrong with me. I know im not gonna just drop dead. Yet i keep getting anxious. I absolutely love my life. I have a job i enjoy. A loving husband and two beautiful children. Although we have normal life struggles i am still happy with my life. Yet 4 weeks ago my panic attacks started again. After being dormant for 7 years. Im afraid of death and leaving my family and life. I dont know why i am so afraid. I am a Christian (although i dont go to church) i believe in God and i believe my life is planned out for me. I believe whatever is gonna happen will happen and we are just along for the ride. I know whenever my times comes it will be my time. No amount of panicking will change that. I guess despite my faith i am human and the unknown of death and the fear if what i believe isnt real i could cease to exist and thats terrifying. I just want to be able to take on life not living in fear.

Let me start by saying that I am not diagnosed but I suspect I have OCD. I came out as a lesbian girl 6 years ago but lately I have very often intrusive sexual thoughts about men. These thoughts make me feel disgusted, annoyed, anxious and uncomfortable but I can't help but check every time I can whether I'm attracted or not. I don't want to get married to a man, I don't want to have sex with men or even have any kind of relationship but at the slightest trigger I start to think I'm hiding something. I know everyone has noticed that I'm slowly shutting down, I'm no longer the same but I can't say what's going on in my head. Could it be OCD? and how do I stop thinking about it?

Hello, my name is Rydder, I’ve been having OCD my whole life and I’ve been able to handle my thoughts, but lately the past 3 months have been a wild ride! I went from court to court after 2 years of issues with the system, now that it is over I am scared about my well being, I’ve been having very bad intrusive thoughts lately about hurting myself or others, and it’s even making me hunch over in bed shaking and crying everyday because I’m not that type of person…. The mornings are so tuff I don’t even want to make it to work anymore, I’ve even called crisis lines because of my thoughts of hurting myself or other people with sharp objects, I just want to feel okay again! If anyone else has these thoughts please let me know and how to manage because I’m at the point where I call out to much and may become fired if I do!

18+ Please any help/advice I used to love the tv series full house when I was teen. I always loves Stephanie. I thought she was adorable and funny so I adopted her personality. Although I thought by doing this it would make me ‘cute’ and ‘quirky’ and would act like her around boys. But my ocd is telling me I’m a p for this as the character was like 5 and I was 17/18. I’m ashamed in myself that I used the personality of a 5 year old to try and attract and impress boys, like I was doing it for s*xual gain, surely that’s s*xualising her? I feel awful, I’m so scared I’m a p.

It’s all getting to me, all of it. Knowing he’s with her and knowing I was lied to. Knowing I wasted a year of my life loving someone who ultimately was using me, seeing her getting everything I asked for or wanted from him, even the small things like time and effort, he’s doing it all with her. And I’m left here feeling horrendous, like I can’t move on, like my heart will forever be broken. He’s not even worth this effort, I’m so over him, but I’m just not over the situation. The feelings and the torment. I feel sick every day from stress and anxiety, my body hurts I’m in such a bad place but I’m trying to make it good, trying to be better. All I want is for this pain to go away, I don’t care what they are doing, I don’t care about them anymore I just don’t wanna see it! But me and her ex are starting to become friends and he’s telling me all this horrible stuff that she’s still doing, cheating on my ex and slagging him off to her ex, asking her ex to come over and everything. Sneaking around behind his back and it sucks to know such a horrible person gets all the good things while I’m here feelings deathly and wondering why I’m not good enough, why I wasn’t pretty enough, fun enough, loving enough, I tried so hard to show him I cared and I got nothing in return, I feels used and replaced. I don’t know how to stop these constant feeling and thoughts, it’s causing my great physical pain now to the point I have to go to the doctors as my body is in bits because of anxiety. At least I think it’s anxiety, I actually have no idea why I’m throwing up every day 3 times a day. But anyway, I know it’s heartbreak and I know I’ll be okay, but having to see and hear about them is just overwhelming

I've struggled for years thinking if I offend God, he'll unalive me in my sleep. I think every pain is a sign I've offended him. The issue is, I'm not religious. Not in that way. I was raised pagan. But my brain is like "God is gonna kill you" and I obsess over dying. Im terrified. Because i believethere is life after death but my brain wont let me believe it in bad obsessive times. Am I alone in this?

Is pushing away intrusive thoughts a compulsion?

Hi everyone I honestly feel so defeated My anxiety and ocd has been so intense I have intrusive thoughts about everything for example I suffer w harm ocd I suffer w the thought that I feel like I’m not genuine I suffer with being terrified of mental illness such as schizophrenia I get scared I’ll snap n lose control I suffer with the fact that I’m scared my anxiety will never go away n I’ll never get better I suffer w being so irritable w the people I love Recently I’ve been terrified people r staring at me and can read through my body language of how I think Today my brain felt scrambled, I woke up for work when I didn’t have work - in my defense I didn’t check the schedule and took this day off a month ago I went to the wrong location for a workout class And I went to a friends house took off my shoes n can’t find them. So now I’m fearing that I’m losing my mind n becoming delusional. I want to try medication but I’ve heard so many bad things. I’m just so sad of feeling like this. This is my outlet bc some of you understand. But it’s really isolating idk how some people even work it’s hard sometimes I push myself every single day and it’s been 3 years and I feel like I’ve had no sense of peace. Any advice?

I really think I have social anxiety. Everytime I am in public I feel uncomfortable. I am scared to go to school.Also I am scared that I am weird. I am scared that I make people uncomfortable . I panic when I accidentally make eye contact with peolple .I don't want to make people uncomfortable but I feel like I do that.

I just got triggered by something and I started to spiral. I was obsessing with my thoughts for a really long time I wasn’t doing anything but sitting there and obsessing. I finally had to bring my partner to work and it takes about 40 min to get there. I finally noticed that I had to pee really bad I was obsessing over my POCD and I got in my head thinking what if this feeling is sexual and you are a P. I finally made myself pull over at a gas station and went to the restroom. I never had a problem with my OCD until i started heavily drinking. When I was drinking with friends one night at a bonfire there were these two little girls at the time I really loved kids I wanted to have some of my own some day. So I started playing with the little girls just being silly and picking them up and playing. I eventually pick one of them up and kissed her on the cheek because I thought she was so cute. But I was drinking and the father told them to go inside the house. Know that I’m thinking about it I don’t know if it was because or he just wanted them to go inside because it was getting late. He never said anything to me and my friends never said anything to. But I instantly felt bad for being drunk and playing with. But for some reason I woke up the next day and I felt like I had done something wrong and what if I was a P for kissing the little girl on the cheek. I started drinking back then just for fun but it slowly became a problem I had just turned 21 and I wanted to have fun with my friends and that is what people do when they turn 21. I’m now 31 and an alcoholic but for the last 10 years I haven’t been able to forget about that night and I just have been obsessing about it ever sense. I think now that the alcohol brought out my OCD and I wish I could go back and never started drinking in the first place. Now I am almost 3 months sober. But recently I have been prescribed medication that will make you physically sick if you drink on them. I also have found an online 24 hour zoom meeting that is awesome. The reason I bought the drinking up is after I stopped to go to the bathroom the thoughts of being a P went away greatly I wasn’t having sexual feelings I just had to go to the bathroom. When I got back in the car and started listening to the zoom AA meeting my thoughts pretty much went away. I wanted to let everyone know about the online meetings it’s called The Zoo Crew. I am so happy to be sober now and so grateful that I found the meetings. So I just wanted to get that out there for anyone struggling with POCD, OCD in general, or alcoholism. There has been very few problem that I have talked about having these thoughts with. Most of them have been with medical professionals it feels so good to have found this app and be able to talk about it with other people. I hope this could help someone else in knowing you’re not alone in this. I know this was really long but I hope it helps someone. Thank you!!!

I hope I am wrong, but it seems like there are very few resources for sensorimotor OCD. I see Michael Greenberg and OCD recovery but not much else except maybe a single post or video. Is this an uncommon issue? Or are there resources that I haven’t found yet?

How to stop ruminating about the past? I keep ruminating on my past mistakes and I dont know what to do . I feel like I didn't really evolved as a person . I feel like I don't deserve to be happy

i am 2 years clean from self harm and im very proud of how far i've come. my intrusive thoughts attack my accomplishments and i struggle with false memory ocd. my brain takes instances where i accidentally get hurt and tells me i did it to myself. a couple months ago i noticed my wrist was itchy while i was just pacing around my room, when i looked at my wrist there was a scratch. i did NOT do it to myself, i must have accidentally scratched myself sometime throughout the day. but because i didn't remember what could have caused the scratch my brain told me i did it to myself even though i didn't. tonight i remembered when i got that accidental scratch and had a panic attack while arguing with my intrusive thoughts telling me i did. it hurts to be 2 years clean and have intrusive thoughts that attack my success in recovery. if you can relate to this or have advice, please let me know.

really triggered and sad by so many things right now. I feel like while brushing my teeth i spat into the sink and wiped my mouth with water too slow, i am so triggered by my eyebrows recently that i’ve avoided even looking at them but if i accidentally see them i feel so horrible, and if i’m looking at an object but i feel like my eyes were blurry or stinging that’s another trigger cause i feel that means i didn’t see the object properly. sometimes sitting with distress is too much, is there something else i can do to also make me feel confident about my abilities in all these things??

Anyone else have overwhelming urges to eye roll, snort , contort body a specific way , clear throat, etc ? Psychiatrist says it’s a stress response but they are starting to feel like an “ overwhelming” need to do them almost in the same fashion I have the urge to repeat sounds and noises in my head.

they don’t go well with OCD. I was asked by my mother if I could make some chocolate covered strawberries for her boss+coworker. I have made them multiple times before and they always end up okay. now im worried about making it for them though. what if i get them sick? what if they get sick and my mother loses her job? what am i supposed to do about it…. obviously i wash everything before i make the strawberries so i know that everything is clean. i have only ever made them for family so i don’t use gloves or anything (gross?) should I just buy some gloves to make it for them? is that me being dramatic?? it’s either i wash my hands constantly or make them with gloves. i feel so bad for all the ones i already made for my family, what if they get sick?