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Has anyone ever had panic attacks out of no where that then brought on the intrusive thoughts?

I had a friend last year who shared his OCD experiences with me and we bonded a lot over how we ruminated on stuff and how debilitating it was to exist as Queer people with OCD. We had a lot in common and a lot not in common. Unfortunately, because my harm and relationship OCD is so bad, I would constantly worry about harming him, especially since I am white and he is a person of color and happens to be less financially privileged than me. He has some form of relationship and harm OCD as well, but he was also extremely insecure and would get triggered by so many things. Understandably so. We’d have endless conversations about race and class and gender and sexuality, and they were enjoyable to an extent, but I always felt like most of the things I said or thought was wrong and harmful and that I needed to make up for it by doing everything I could to make him happy and comfortable, but it ended up I would agree to things I didn’t really want to do with him. We got into several huge arguments because he felt betrayed and hurt when I backed out of things I initially agreed to, I do this a lot, and I would feel overwhelming amounts of guilt and shame for harming him. I felt like I was caught in a loop of trying and never being good enough, and he would rage at me and I would cry and then he would try to comfort me, but I felt powerless and like I could never express my true feelings with him without being critiqued or criticized. He and his whole family would poke fun at me for being a “privileged white boy,” which I tried to be okay with because it’s true. But it really did poke a sore spot. I would get it in my head that I’m just a racist, terrible person and wonder why he even bothered being my friend if I was so obnoxious to him. But I also just felt like our relationship was causing me too much stress and rumination so I told him I didn’t want to be friends anymore. But I really miss hanging out with him and the good times. I miss the conversations we had and the ways we used to relate and try and help each other with our mental health. I don’t miss him talking about wanting to have sex with me a lot and getting defensive when I told him to stop. I don’t miss when he would rage at me and make a confrontation turn into multiple hour-long critiques of society. I don’t miss him dismissing me asking him to give me space to focus on a task at hand as “being dismissive of real problems” because “white people never want to talk about racism,” which just wasn’t true because I spend a lot of time talking about race and racism and learning, I just can’t multi-task while I’m driving or trying to play a game and I have a really hard time with commitments and focusing. I do have ADHD as well, which isn’t always an excuse, yet I don’t think he understood how debilitating my lack of ability to focus really is, so he would constantly get angry at me for forgetting things or not being able to multi-task and I just felt like a fuck-up. But I do miss playing video games and talking about cartoons and hanging out. I don’t know what to do. I keep wanting to talk to him but it never, ever goes well. Am I just too fragile? Am I just too afraid to take accountability for my racism? I know relationships are a two-way street. And I try not to demonize him or myself in my head. I just wish it didn’t hurt so bad for us to talk with each other.

Send any support you can for dealing with this. It is very difficult.

Does anyone have fear of just “thinking?” Like being scared to just think? My thoughts can get very racy, & intense. It can feel like I have too many thoughts at once. I’m afraid of being a bad person. Im afraid my intentions aren’t always good. Sometimes I have very negative thoughts about people. Im always scared of what my motivations are. I feel lost.

I’ve been dealing with the fear of schizophrenia for about 10 months now with symptoms varying from fear of hallucinations, constantly on the look out for negative symptoms such as flat affect, low mood etc. to now constantly having to fight off delusional intrusive thoughts. I feel it’s worth it to mention I am an atheist, secular humanist and realist and had/have very firm beliefs about reality that were evidence based and very grounded. Ever since this theme has started, these thoughts and feelings coupled with derealization have completely warped my mind and I’m constantly getting thoughts such as “the world is way too good and complex to be true, there must be something more at play here” “there must be something sinister at play here”“this must be some sort of simulation” “there must be more to the world than just science and biology” “what if satan is the true creator of the world” “What if the government is working in accordance with Satan to keep up with this simulation” etc etc. just bizarre crazy shit. these thoughts feel very very convincing, despite there being no evidence for them. I’ve gotten to a point where I’m done fighting and don’t know what to believe. No amount of logic that I feed these thoughts will ever be enough. I feel like my case is different form most peoples with ocd, from what I’ve read, everybody with my kind of thoughts still have a meta awareness that there thoughts aren’t real and the world around them is very much real. Well I feel like everyday I’m losing that awareness more and more, moments of clarity are quite rare for me now. I feel like I am becoming convinced what I’m thinking is true and I’m getting thoughts and feelings like “how could I not see this before, this is all way too good to be true” and I don’t want that. It is scaring me that I am thinking this way. Like I said this is a COMPLETE 180 from the way I used to think. Please help. My mind has me convinced that there is no other way to think about it and I’m possibly just in denial about it

I’m deleting the app. I can’t keep doing what I’ve been doing. If there is something horribly wrong with me I need to stop posting about it daily, and if it really is OCD this app isn’t helping me either.

sometimes i genuinely believe that i would be a lot better off as dead. i hate being like this. i hate being me. i don’t want to be a bad person or a burden on anyone. it’s starting to feel like i want the thoughts because they’re no longer causing me anxiety, i don’t know if that’s down to my meds or what but. it’s like i feel disgust and guilt but i don’t feel the panic if that makes any sense? i’m a terrible person, i don’t deserve any type of happiness. it all feels so real, i fully believe what my ocd is telling me even though i know this time a few months ago i wouldn’t have ever thought anything like this. when will this all stop? i feel like the right thing for me to do is end it all

I was checking my emotions and feelings so often I no longer recognize my own emotions

I have been anxious about this one specific thing for a few days now. I keep telling my parents about it over and over again. I am going on a big trip tomorrow with my friend and big trips or events trigger my OCD into thinking the trip has to be perfect. Should I tell my Mom what keeps bothering me before I leave for my trip even though I’ve already told her several times about it the past few days I’ve been anxious about it and even though she keeps getting mad at me for repeating it?

I am jsut so tired i want to go to sleep but my brain wont let me i feel weird and anxious and sick physically i dont know why i just feel so wrong rigjt now i just want to sleep

I struggle with nail picking, and have been dealing with it for about 20 years. There won’t usually be a cause for it- I’ll just randomly start the habit and won’t even realize that I’m doing it until it’s picked off. I think what triggers the behavior is when I feel the nail is uneven, or sharp, or “pickable”. This habit just recently started to also make its way to my lips. I pick the dead skin off my lips and again, won’t realize I’m doing it until they start to bleed, causing more scabs and dead skin for me to pick off. Does anyone have any helpful tips that could break these habits for me?

I feel like dying right now

I'm a 16 Y/O male who always had anxiety and panic attacks. Recently my anxiety went up terribly with a fear of having a brain tumor or having an aneurysm. One night this terrible thought came into my head about killing my family and how simple it would be and it scared me to death. This feeling went through my body and I kept thinking "what's stopping me" | don't think I want it but what if I do? What if one day I get so angry and snap? I feel like l'd rather take my own life before someone else's but what if that won't be the case later on? I've tried meds before but eventually just never took them. I'm not sure if I should take them again or if they'll make me even more insane. I feel like my brain won't be able to control its self someday. I don't want to feel like this anymore but I really can't stop it. I live in such a small town with not much "therapy" that's face to face. Most of it is online. I want to be okay. Can someone please PLEASE help me.

ocd has always made me think i’m pregnant. but it has been blown up like never before today. The last time i was sexually active was the last week of March. I got my period a few weeks later in April. I was supposed to get my period on the 29th but i am now 8 days late. i’m freaking out. the last time i was sexually active was in March

Question I don’t like girls right now but when I kiss I get turned on my mind used to say I’m gay and it was just there but now the thought only comes when I think about it I’ve never gotten erections to guys or thought about guys like that but now I stare at men and my mind goes he’s hot is my orientation changing?

My dads recently been diagnosed with brain cancer and has had surgery to remove it, the absolute most stressful and worst time of my life. I had a pretty good grasp on my OCD but it has COMPLETELY let loose. Is this normal for OCD to flair up and get really bad when something extremely stressful and nerve racking comes up? My intrusive thoughts are hammering right now it’s eating me alive in already such a difficult time.

Is it OCD or something else with wanting to hurt someone but not in a gruesome way but just like I really want to trip this person kind of thing

Does anyone’s intrusive thoughts feel like urges? Like it’s telling you that you want to do it but you really don’t and then after you get that urge you feel like you did the action? Idk if that makes sense

Has rumination ever helped you uncover small parts of the memory your obsessed with? For me it seems like this is happening and I’m getting excited at the idea of remembering almost everything and not having to deal with doubt and false memories surrounding it.

hi i think this isn’t ocd related but it happens sooo much to me, like i set myself up to the idea that i’m going to talk to my boyfriend later in the day right, let’s say 6pm. then at 6 i tell him hey can we facetime? and he’s like oh noo, i have a thing with some classmates so i can’t. WHEN I TELL YOU i immediately go down, i get anxious, sad, angry at myself for getting my hopes up, and i end up taking it out on him. does this happen to anyone? i always feel so alone when this happens (like right now lol) thanks in advance