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How do I know if a “bad feeling” about a relationship is an inner knowing or ocd lies???

I'm Christian and I struggle with being close to god a lot but lately I just feel like I will never near a full relationship with god because of this not only that my heart physically hurts because I think about how I want god to allow me to get married and have kids but I don't think that's his will for me I feel like it will never happen and my heart hurts thinking about it and even if god does allow that blessing to come my way l'm afraid I'm going to end up hurting my husband or committing adultery and I'm afraid how he would react to my past and old relationship and ocd I don't think it will ever go away not because I don't think god is powerful enough I know he is I just think he wants that to be my story for the glory of his name and because it keeps me close to him idk I just my heart hurts thinking about not being married and not having kids but l'm trying to accept that in case that isn't his will for me it just really hurts my heart physically

recently, I’ve been feeling so alone and my OCD journey. I don’t know if this is normal but when I convinced myself that it’s OCD I feel so much better and then less than sometimes five minutes later my brain is saying to me that I’m just in denial of who I really am and it’ll say really disturbing comments I can’t tell if it’s actually saying it or if it’s just my intrusive thoughts it’s really hard to piece them apart. I’ve been struggling with this since March and I have started therapy, but I feel like every time a few days without my therapy. I feel the same way again or I start to get this feeling in my chest being absolutely just doomed and feeling like I’m just in denial of who I really am I just wanna know, anyone else this way has anyone else experience this with their OCD because it really makes me feel like I am that actual person and some of the comments that my brain tells me just feel so real and it feels like I’m actually saying it and meaning it once I process what my brain just said it gives me extreme anxiety and fear that this is really it and there’s nothing I can do to fix it. I also am a soon to be Mom so I feel extreme guilt towards my child and my family but part of me says well this is just who you are so you might as well just be become that person.

OK, so I am 99.9% my boyfriend will be popping the big question this July (finally! How exciting!) and of course, I should be soooo happy and excited but I am so worried about my OCD triggering and having my mind make up some lies to convince me I don’t deserve him etc, anyone have any advice for this? Anyone who recently got engaged? How did it go for y’all? I am 30 years old and and my partner is 34! love of my life.

I just need to know. Does anyone experience synchronicities? I feel so freaking alone with this. If I have to explain what it is then you don't experience it. But basically it's just constant coincidences that string together and form messages. I am plagued by it and it's been the single worst source of suffering for years. I have intrusive thoughts but none of them compares even slightly to synchronicities. It's like the universe is hostile and anatogonistic against me. Lately having synchronicities about how my OCD is actually demonic influences and how I'm losing my soul to Satan and how I deserve this because I am evil. When I have a mental breakdown I have synchronicities about demonic entities. And Synchronicities about suffering is a choice and a sin. Which I feel guilt about. Never lets me off the hook, never lets down the pressure, never any mercy. Synchronicities tell me I suffer because I am a sinner and morally and spiritually defeated. It's constantly distressing

Hi! I've been dealing with something that really bothers me,I'm in therapy for it but I end up being sucked up in a loop of thinking about it all the time. I need help. Ok this is the story,I was having ocd thoughts like always " if u do this,this will happen,if you don't do this,ull attack someone" . That day I had a thought about my nephews,that I'll do something inappropriate with them,I was working in the house and I stopped a compulsion earlier and in that second my brain was like " omg what if something happend now" I continued my work yet was like "did something happen? Maybe I went to their house" lol after a while I was analyzing the thought like " what if I do that,would I feel guilty?" I didn't freak out,nothing,that surprised me. Then I feelt like ,wait what if I really do it,what if I snap?like an urge. If I think about it does it mean I will do it cuz I didn't have any negative feelings about it at that time. I started to ruminate and ask myself "what if I test myself and start the car and go to their house to see what I will do" .."I would probably just turn around or say hi but be in total panick and at the end I wouldn't even believe myself if I didn't do anything. I tested myself with the thoughts. And I got such anxiety rush afterwards while I was working in the house as if I might snap and had to be sure that I'm in the moment and remember everything. When I got to the house of my brother,I had anxiety but I didn't fight it,I thought, ah ill feel it,just continue walking,my mind was like trying to endure it and not analize the feelings,I remember I sit on the couch,we were talking,I went up and waited for my sister to get out of the bathroom and I tought to myself " now that I'm in the house,I could go to the kids room but I wont" .like I was analyzing that now that I'm near I wouldn't do it. But damn when I woke up,I feelt horrible, like I really did something, my kind feelt like it has a blockage,and I feelt horrible and guilty until today,that I cannot tell my brain what really happend. I was analyzing my thoughts and testing in my mind how far I would go that i have no idea now what to believe. I'm doin EMDR now for that day,my question is,is ALL THAT OCD? I was afraid afterwards why I didn't feel disgust that day cuyz of my thoughts. And now I'm spiraling,is that also ocd? And what can I do to finally stop the doubt and be sure 100 that nothing happened. Hope someone can relate

I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month now we met on hinge and he told me from the jump that he wants to find a wife etc which took the stress off me having to ask since I want the same etc. We’ve only been on 4 dates and only see each other once(on the weekend) a week because I work full time and have school after work every day. He’s 33 and I’m 30 btw. I’m not sure if he’s bringing this up because he has an issue with me going to school but basically he brought up the fact that we haven’t had sex yet and wants to see where I’m at with that. I said I like to go slow and that I don’t think 4 dates is long enough for me to do that with someone I really wanna make sure he’s the right person for me/he means what he says etc. so is this a red flag that he is already thinking that it would be an appropriate time for sex? I need your opinions thanks :)

If life couldn't help giving me ocd at birth, I wish that it didn't give me pocd out of all the other themes. I know it's not fair to say this, but I wasn't this much depressed when I had contamination ocd and pure ocd.

What if I get stuck in an obsessive loop where people don’t understand me and they get annoyed instead of supportive

Guys I don't know what to do. I saw this instagram post of a famous person getting married. There was her daughter and she was wearing white stockings. It was triggering to see at first, but when I checked to see if I was attracted or not I didn't know what to make of it. It feels like I was attracted. I don't want to be attracted. I'm afraid that when I saw that I felt attraction. In my mind "stockings" are like a se&ual clothing. It really feels like I felt they were attractive. I think I could have se&ualized it. I really need someone to explain this to me. I don't care if it is reassurance seeking I really can't do with this.

hey, do you guys ever as yourselfs if its OCD or not with SOOCD? because I really feel like this theme is different... I have had other themes (health OCD and harm OCD) but got over them quickly compared to SOOCD. My issue with SOOCD is that it started at a really young age for me... and I watched videos about girls realising they're bi ou gay (yes I did and it was super trigerring) and it felt like I could relate on some level? But then some of my very straight friends also told me they could relate? I'm so lost and sooo stressed and honeslty I just want to be happy no matter what the outcome is I just dont want to be hiding my true self because of society. But then at the same time, I've been with my bf for 6 years and I feel like I really love him but every year we have this big conversation whether I believe this is real true love or platonic love and if we have to break up... and I always ask him if he feels something off about me (because apparently partners can know) and I always notice that whenever I'm busy at work or with friends I actually feel fine even tho the thoughts are still here.... but I'm also just scared that its comphet (yes I searched that too and got triggered). My therapist told me to live day by day and it has been great doing that but sometimes when I'm with my friends and they talk about love or the future etc I feel like I cant really relate but if I imagine it with a women (I know this is testing but it happens) it feels more intense and deep? I dont understand anything anymore so please if someone is going through that let me know! I'm 26 btw and I just dont want to be doing a mistake that's gonna ruin multiple lives later on! PS : did anyone whatch Bridgertion season 3? (Spoiler Alert!!) Francesca's story line really really triggered me! like I even imagined being fransceca and felt like I could fall in love with that women just by looking at her (and I dont believe that's possible in reality so I dont get it) Thanks for your help!!

Yesterday I only slept for 2.5 hours and was up the whole day I finally fell asleep but I only stayed asleep for about 35 minutes and now I woke up again and can’t fall back asleep. I feel like I’m going manic as well

Hi all, new here. I have been struggling with OCD for about 11 years now. I was diagnosed at 15 and am now almost 27. My main theme is POCD, although I have suffered with many other subtypes. Lately, I’ve been experiencing a lot of false memories. I started having them around 20 years old, but now it has taken over my life completely. At first the false memories were about past events I thought could have happened, but now it is false memories in real time. For example, like thinking you turned the oven on before you left even though you checked it 10 times over. It’s things like that, but with POCD. I cannot distinguish fiction from reality anymore. As of late, I have a serious fear and obsession with cameras. I am constantly terrified of blurting things out on camera, or acting out intrusive thoughts. It has gotten so bad, I cannot be around anyone’s phone but my own. I am constantly having family members check their photos to tell me if I somehow took a video or picture of doing something completely awful. When I am around someone’s phone that I am not able to check, I have serious meltdowns because I am not able to ask them if I’ve done anything. I also check everywhere for cameras, like literally will dig through bags and open drawers/cabinets to make sure there is no camera. It is the scariest thing I have ever experienced. Going out in public in front of cameras is a nightmare for me but I seriously try to do my best. I literally can’t work anymore around other people because I am so scared of their phones. I had to quit my last job because it was becoming so debilitating. I would make up stories like “hey let me air drop a photo to you” just to get them to open up there photo app so I could see I did not record myself saying anything incriminating. I cannot call important people without panic, and if I do I cannot leave voicemails because I believe I will say something wrong. I cannot send emails because I have a fear of saying something wrong. The only social media app I have is Facebook because I’ve had it long enough I feel comfortable using it but I’ve deleted every single app that didn’t have an activity log showing me what comments or likes I’ve left on things. I’ve deleted everything that I can take pictures with (except my iPhone camera of course) I can’t even download a game without thinking I am messaging people on said game! I literally downloaded a game recently and had my mom go over every single thing on it to make sure it wasn’t possible to message other players. I cannot do simple things such as writing something down like signing my name on important documents because I think I write terrible things. This has literally taken over every single aspect of my life. I am miserable, I can’t find help. I have been to many therapists, and taken many medications. Nothing helps. I am at my wits end please help me, or share if you’ve been through anything similar or how you navigated that. I am desperate.

I wish I had friends although I don’t know if I even deserve any

I’m Christian and I struggle with being close to god a lot but lately I just feel like I will never near a full relationship with god because of this not only that my heart physically hurts because I think about how I want god to allow me to get married and have kids but I don’t think that’s his will for me I feel like it will never happen and my heart hurts thinking about it and even if god does allow that blessing to come my way I’m afraid I’m going to end up hurting my husband or committing adultery and I’m afraid how he would react to my past and old relationship and ocd I don’t think it will ever go away not because I don’t think god is powerful enough I know he is I just think he wants that to be my story for the glory of his name and because it keeps me close to him idk I just my heart hurts thinking about not being married and not having kids but I’m trying to accept that in case that isn’t his will for me it just really hurts my heart physically

For the past like 8 months I have been having horrible existential OCD where I get absolutely terrified that we are floating on a planet in space and I feel trapped on earth. It got better, but the last two weeks I have been having panic attacks every time I have to leave the house to go to work or any other thing like go to the gym or hang out with friends and I go into a complete panic attack because I feel trapped on earth and feeling like we are so high up in space. Im terrified of living being on a planet and space. Ive been having horrible panic attacks at work, where i convince myself we are trapped on earth and every time I work I go into more of a complete panic attack than the last day and each day i work, my panic attacks slowly get worse. Today, I was leaving work and usually im fine when i get to my car but the feeling of panic did not go away and only got worse knowing that im still trapped on earth and felt claustrophobic on earth and i had a pit in my stomach knowing that I had to drive home in such panic. I tried to rush home without having a panic attack and went to my room and cried. Its like I cant see the world how I used to or live my normal life without me seeing the world so different now. I have been having panic attacks everyday for two weeks and it has made me extremely depressed that I cant even go to work now without panicking my entire time at work. I have to work, and I cant just quit and not have a job but im afraid im only going to get worse if I keep going to work. Idk what to do. Someone please help. I cant eat because Im so nasous from the anxiety. Ive been popping Propanol like its candy just to try and get my hr down but my anxiety has been so bad sometimes my hr increases even though ive taken propanol. I need help, I might have to check myself into a psych ward

I really do wish I understood it. I know how ADHD is affecting me but not at all OCD. NOOCD just had the article and the psych said you don’t want to give stimulants to people that have both. I know my doctor wanted to treat both and for a bit I took the Adderall, Wellbutrin, Prozax and Xanax but my God the side effects to all of it. SSRI’s emotionally numb me and that’s an uncomfortable thing for me. So, I opted for treating the ADHD. Hell, I am a freaking check off list for inattentive ADHD. OCD I have no clue. I really don’t know but I ask myself if I am being medicated incorrectly and this Adderall is making this OCD worse thereby why I still can’t get my crap together. I am overwhelmed still and while I have better days than others it seems somethings off. I know the Wellbutrin and Adderall are interacting in a negative way with me. It’s why I came down from 300 to 150 mg. Took it for 2 decades and now on the Adderall I tried upping it again and immediately got dizzy, anxiety out the roof and felt so dry. I want to just ditch the Wellbutrin at this point because I have spent the past hour crying anyway. Lord help me, I apologize for ranting here.

This thread is for a chat between me and JulioKelle

Okay so has anyone had OCD where they are fearing that they have cancer and are going to die? Here’s my story. This is a new theme for me and it came on as I was sitting outside in the sun over the weekend. I have a lot of moles/beauty marks on my body (I always have) and just the other day I started being hyperaware of them. I started feeling like some of them got bigger, then I started analyzing the shapes of them, the colors of them, I started looking at others around me to see if anyone had moles that looked like mine. Immediately it led to me possibly having cancer and spiraled from there. I can’t focus on anything but my body for the last few days and it’s driving me wild. I made a doc appt and that’s adding onto my anxiety. Can anyone relate to this? If so I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences. Thank you in advance

I just would like to know if anyone else has struggled with when eating getting gross images that make you stop eating. Or is that just me 😭