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Hello community! I struggle with intrusive thoughts. I haven’t quite found an SSRI that has really helped me. I have tried many. Can someone share which specific brand of SSRI has helped them overcome intrusive thoughts? Thanks!

Just curious if anyone else’s “recovery” looks similar to this. I’ve been trying really hard to let thoughts be and not engage. I practice heavily on not engaging with them and not allowing myself to ruminate. I have cut back on safety behaviors and I also resist or delay compulsions. I mainly have pure o so my compulsions are ruminating and googling and trying to compare myself to others. Well since I have been implementing all this, I don’t necessarily feel “better” but I notice when I almost panic, I stop myself and move on. Like the panic and anxiety is still there but I’m still doing what I need to do. I’m still living my life despite the feelings. But with all this, I just feel depressed. Like I just feel sad and like I’m never gonna feel 100% like myself. I’ll always have this ocd haze over me. Is this common in recovery?

I've recently started dating someone. I like him very much, and I know he feels the same about me. I have always been unlucky in relationships, so this is something brand new for me. I haven't told him I have OCD. It feels like a rock in my chest. I feel like I'm keeping something big from him and I feel so guilty. I don't know what to do. I don't want to drag him into my mess, but I don't want to break his heart and mine. I have a chance of happiness for maybe the first time and I feel like I don't deserve it. I feel like I'll ruin everything. What should I do? Please I'm desperate.

Hi, I am over 30 years with my partner. And I am obsessivly doubting my love for him the last 8 months. My psychiatrist says itcis ROCD, but I feel anxiety around him and tense in my stomach. He is a very good man. And I love him. But I don't feel my heart open with him anymore. I don't feel the life-energy anymore. But I am depressed, a lot of anxiety and my thoughts go 80% of the time, about: Do I follow my heart/ selflove when I stay with him? Why don't I feel free? Why can't I give him love? I am doubting al the time, but I don't want to leave him. And I dont know if this is out of fear. Do I stay out of fear with him? Or cant I feel the love because of my thoughts? Anyone recognize this?

Sometimes even tho I know God loves me and will forgive me of all my sins I question whether or not I’ve “messed up too bad this time” every time I ask for forgiveness and it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach… I’m so scared one day He’ll decide that I’ve made too many purposeful mistakes and stop forgiving me

Hi everyone! I started having intrusive thoughts about suicide in April 2020 after having surgery and weaning off of Percocet. I struggled for months with these thoughts and being scared of myself. I was finally put on Zoloft October 2020 and it helped a lot, even though I still had the thoughts, they weren’t as frequent and I definitely didn’t go into a panic over them like I had been. Last June, a girl I worked with came into work talking about starting a new antidepressant and it giving her suicidal thoughts so she quit cold turkey. Ever since then, I have been fighting these thoughts. Some days are so much worse than others and the urge to give in to the thoughts is so overwhelming I had my husband remove all firearms from the house. I came off Zoloft in August after taking the Genesight test and finding out it wasn’t really going to work as well as it should. Pretty much all antidepressants aren’t the best for me, but Prystiq was in my green category (which means it should work good). I started it June 8th and felt great during week 2, but starting with week 3, starting having extreme depression and the thoughts got worse to where I just wanted to give in. I quit cold turkey as of Monday after 4 weeks and have really struggled with the thoughts and anxiety. I’m terrified to try a new medicine, but I know I cant keep living like this. I’m hoping this platform helps and I finally have some relief! I have never been suicidal so the fact that these are my thoughts now scare the hell out of me because I don’t want to die or have people think I’m suicidal.

How likely is it that the cause of my OCD is how I have been negatively treated by virtually all of my family since I was a child and still continue to be treated this way. I can give examples if anybody wants them but basically I have always been made to feel like the least important by my parents right through to my uncle and cousins. I have learnt over the years that they have a lot of there own issues and I think that is in part why they have treated me this way. Thanks in advance for any replies

I’m finding it really hard to be motivated to do anything that I need to do I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions to break the cycle of no motivation. I have things that I want to do it’s just I feel stuck on able to do the mentally if that makes sense.

I find myself always needing to make sure God know I am grateful for all he has done for me. My prayers consist of a lot of thanks yous that sometimes turn into loops. They really do feel like a compulsion, but one with meaning behind. But I guess that’s just what OCD is. They flow out of, over and over again. I can’t help it. And there aren sentences that I will repeat. Not because of a compulsion, but because of muscle memory, since I have the same exact prayer every single night. Sometimes I question if that’s okay, since my friend says prayer is a conversation. Is it okay to have the same repeating conversation with God? Always saying the same things in almost the same order? What are your experiences with this, thoughts, and ways you’ve combatted it.

I’m kinda losing hope and feeling defeated

Hello all! I am new to this support group/community mental health thing. I’ve tried (online) therapy before for past mental health struggles, and always found it to be a money and time sink, and unfortunately, I can't financially swing giving NOCD a shot. However, I am at the end of my rope. This past year has been REALLY rough mentally, even though it seems like exactly the time that my brain should be starting to settle down. I’m finding it hard to cope with a lot of stuff that’s been buried deep down in my brain, and I’m starting to lose hope as I feel my most valued relationships starting to unravel and my ability to function in the day to day becoming weaker and weaker. I’m usually pretty introverted, and reaching out to people, even online, is something I never really would have considered before. But I’m hurting physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, and I know that I have hurt the people closest to me as I’ve been trying to undergo an actual healing process. All of this to say, it’s extremely unlike me to reach out to a community like this. I suppose I’m just wondering how effective any of you all have found this group in trying to heal and grow? Looking forward to hearing back from any of you, and I appreciate if you’ve made it to the end of this post in advance. Sincerely, Wanting to Rewire

Tell yourself the opposite of what your thoughts say. You're allowed to make mistakes. You deserve love. You deserve to follow your dreams. You deserve kindness. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to go through life embracing all of who you are without judgement. Time and time again I get stuck in this superfluous loop of remembering what i didn't do right. What didn't go well. The bad things that happened to me. The mean things people have said to me. The guilt and shame I have for addictive behaviors. The things I wish I didn't do in my teen years. You know what though? That's all BS. You did the best you could. You tried with what you have. There's no use ruminating over it. I know this is easier said than done. I know this is difficult. I know that OCD can make this worse for us by making us think about the very things that bother us over and over again. I know it sucks. It really is a pain. But with practice, and reminders, I think we can do this. I think I can do this. I think you can do this.

I’ve spiraled to the lowest of rock bottom. I now have all subtypes and I do not deserve to live. I hate my mind so much. This has all happened in 3 months and all because of reassurance.

It's all so confusing and difficult. I swear I would just want to take some sort of blood test to tell me what the f*ck I am. Lol

Has anyone taken Prozac while having this theme and it seemed to help ? I’m scared to take it because of the theme . Also I’m not suicidal never have been but this theme idk makes me depressed and panic and think of it then freaks me out . Is this normal ? Or am I actually having ideations ? Sometimes I feel like the best plan would be to be in a mental house so I know I can’t hurt myself . It’s just weird cause before all this started I had panic attacks about dying in my sleep , then it switched to dying of a heart attack which led me to get all my blood work done and quitting smoking and alcohol and caffeine and since may I’ve been dealing with this theme and it’s making me freaking confused like I have 3 kids I love my life but it’s fucks with me like makes me depressed.

I want to ask how you know youre having panic, but i dont mean it like a reassuring way. This is not trying to figure out everytime you have a panic if its panic. I ask this cause noone talks about this, usually videos about panic is about "if you have panic you go get checked" thats understandable, and if youre okay then you can say its panic. But what about those times when you dont have panic for a long time and then it comes back and you forgot about how it feels so youre worrying again if its something is wrong? Everytime you have a long time without panic and then it comes back you have to go to get checked? Everytime you forget or panic changes the sypmtoms or get mixed with real problems you run to the doctor? Isnt that panic fueled? I do forgot how bad it feels like, i didnt had panic more that a year and a half, and what was worse, it got mixed with real problem. I had food poisoning last months and i was really scared. For 2 weeks i didnt had good appetite, i ate but if i ate alot i felt nauseus. When it happened i vomited and had diarrhea, so it wasnt a good experience. I developed fear over vomiting or faiting. So i was working and i ate a little bit more and i got nauseous, i thought i will vomit and be very sick and i started to panic. Then because of panic the nausea got worse. And then i didnt know if im actually nauseous bc of eating so much or because im afraid of vomiting and the slightest sick feeling made me spiral to feel nauseous. So since then if i feel a little bit sick or just feel dizzy a little i get so stressed that those symptoms becomes more strong and it feels like a real danger now... This is one side only, i just have this dizzy, hard to breath panics that i can handle but i know panic can be fast heartbeats like having a heart attack, and if i will experience that i will not be able to stay calm. I remember i used to have rapid heartbeats, one day i had that nonstop for the entire day, my heart didnt wanted to stop and ofc i was worrying but it made it worse. I went to the doctor and they gave me vitamins that helps the heart and the blood, and then eventually went away cause i got calmer, but all day my heart was beating really hard. I felt it without paying attention to it. So i know if i would have that now i would go crazy if theres something wrong with my heart,so the panic and the heartbeats would become worse, which would make me panic more. So in this case i would have to go again to the doctor again cause im not sure what is happening cause i had these syptoms long ago and im not sure if its panic? So everytime you have a non panic season and then it comes back you have to check yourself with a doctor? That sounds more stressful to me. My question is how to know if after a good season the panic comes back, that its panic or it might be real issue?Or when it mixes with real issues like for me. That "everytime you have it after a big break and it feels unfimiliar you go to the hospital" it seems a bad idea. Cause you run bc of panic and you dont show your brain that its not dangerous. Everytime you have a new sypmtom or something that you forgot how it feels, it makes you run to the hospital then you will be alot in the hospital. Or wheb its mixed with a real problem. Someone who has blood pressure issues, if he has a panic attack, everytime he has he needs to run to the hospital? Thats just shows their brain that it is dangerous and they will be afraid of having panic. Or the first exemple they will teach their brain every new sypmtom is dangerous, i have to get checked... How do i calm myself down or remind myself that its not dangerous, its just panic in these situations?

I've been having recurring thoughts of wanting to break up with my boyfriend. And this is the first time I've ever experienced these thoughts, a while back I also experienced thinking I didn't love him anymore. And I do love him a lot, but these thoughts and urges are so scary and I don't know what to do. I've also started picking out flaws and things I don't like about him and I don't know why because I feel so guilty about it and especially since he is the sweetest person ever. And it feels like these thoughts won't go away and I'm just so scared I'm gonna lose him because of this.

So even tho I'm not yet diagnosed, I am very sure that I have OCD because of other things unrelated to this post. But I was wondering if someone else also knows these situations and thinks this might be OCD as well^^ Sooo these are just three Situations but they are representative for other very similar things that happen to me every now and then. 1. So i was wearing a knitted jacket and noticed a lose sticht. This already made me angry because the jacket wasn't "perfect" anymore. So I took out my sewing kit and fixed the sticht and made it look as good as possible (and it DID look good in the end!). Nevertheless i had to check the entire day if it still looked good or if it looked ugly/unprofessionally done and then I always realized it still looked fine. 2. Whenever I wear tight pants or pants made out of thin material, I always worry about "something showing" through the pants. So I always have to check if people can see something and then I worry about people thinking I'm undecent/pervers for having a body that shows through clothing 😂 3. I was in the train the other day and there was this weird smell. Maybe someone was sweating or something. And then I started to believe it was me smelling weird and then I felt so gross, even tho I knew it was propably not me smelling bad.

I’m so scared I’m not going to make it to heaven what if I’ve made too many mistakes in my life .. I’m afraid of the unknown what if the rapture happens soon

For those that have managed to get better how didnyou manage doubt? I have i hard time trusting myself so i tend to always be on gaurd of my thoughts and feelings, so its hard to relax even though ik intrusive thoughts and the need to do compulsions reduces when im relaxed. Last night i was able to sleep without being tense and anxious or on gaurd of what thoughts im having i felt so much relief but then i woke up this morning fine until had the thought of "what if you actually want these thought? what if you enjoy them?" then I spirals again 😭 Im working on learning to trust myself enough to relax again but its quite scary.