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Can my past childhood sexual assault have led me to having ocd?

I keep getting a random feeling of anxiety, I’ll be doing good/better and then it randomly pops into my head. It’s not a specific thought it’s more of like an uneasy feeling that I can’t wrap my head around. It feels like a deep sense of doom/fear or something like that. I’m not sure if me trying to figure it out is a compulsion/ my ocd just wanting to figure it out or if I should just sit with it and let it be.

Been having a hard few days. I’m visiting my long distance boyfriend and have had a lot of rocd thoughts since getting here. I just got this intrusive thought / feeling like I am not in love with him anymore / actually grossed out by him, like I don’t want him to touch me or kiss him. I hate this feeling and I absolutely love physical touch. Trying to picture our future no longer feels right like it used to since this relapse and I am just so worried and don’t know how to stop ruminating today 😣 posting here for some extra support

I’m one week into taking a new course of fluvoxamine. Has anyone else taken this? When did you see any results and at what dose? I’ve been told it’s the best medication for treating OCD. Curious to hear about other peoples experiences

So im going into grade 10 next week- and honestly I thought I wouldnt be nervous but now I am 😭😭 like i usually get really bad back to school anxiety. I worry about a lot of things- like what if I forget something? What if I say something wrong or stupid? What if I look ugly? What if I seem annoying? What if my teachers dont like me? What if I have a bad class? What if I dont do well? What if I make a bad impression? And like im used to it- but it doesnt make it any easier 😭😭😭 im also scared bc during school my mental health usually notttt good and I cry like every three days and stress a lot about making my assignments perfect or studying for like 7 hours bc what if i forget something??? 😔 and honestly its really exhausting and socially draining to be at school sometimes- so im really afraid. And in the first day teachers usually do ice breakers and I HATEEEE THEM 😭 because I feel anxious and awkward but I can fake confidence really well so its not that bad 😭 and also I want to ask one of my soon to be teachers if I can apply for an IEP- which is just like extra time or support for those with various learning difficulties or disabilities or in my case, OCD. But im scared it will come off as needy or pick me 😭😭😭 or like as if I am trying to get some sympathy points and I dont want my teachers to have a negative impression of me…

Does anyone else feel like some other OCD people might now even get what your going through? Like they genuinely give you more questions that actually don't help and like the only person who can genuinely fathom your situation is you?

I asked my child for reassurance and I feel horrible about it. I didn’t specifically ask what I was worried about but I asked in a roundabout generic way and it probably sounded strange. I’ve done this before and told myself I would not do it again each time but when I do my feeling is that it’s better to ask and get some peace of mind then to not ask. Even though I know that’s the wrong way to look at it. How do I move on from this guilt and disgust with myself? Can anyone relate to this??? I feel so alone being a parent with OCD.

Hi guys. I’m new here. So I’ve had OCD my whole life, born and raised. Once I turned 17 it seems to flip a switch and I experience a pretty traumatic event that has shaped and evolved into the OCD i have today. I followed the advice of my mom and took an expired medication to help the symptom I was having and it led to a full on nightmare. It felt like a 5 day long panic attack constantly running to the bathroom and violently shaking with a high HR. Now my OCD is medical emergency related. I’m constantly scared my heart is going to stop at any moment. I’m not sure why, i’ve been to 2 different cardiologists who ran both monitors and echos and said everything looks fine. When I get panic attacks my HR typically gets to 130-160 which only makes my fears worse that i’m damaging my heart. I wake up multiple times a night in a panic and it basically controls every aspect of my life. I’m scared to workout, go anywhere exciting or scary, try new foods or medications, etc. I’m not really sure what to do at this point. I’m constantly checking my apple watch and qualy app to make sure everything looks good and if something is off for even just a couple minutes it sends me spirally. Google is my worst enemy. Anyone have any advice? Thank you. All love :)

I need somebody to tell me if I’m a monster or not. Nobody’s replying to my posts and it scares me. Am I too far gone? Why am I so numb? I hate these horrible thoughts, I think. I think. I’m so full of doubt, I don’t know what I want or don’t want anymore. I think I don’t want this. This feels like the end of the road.

at first i started to obsess over if something i did was sa, i came to the conclusion that it isn't for different reasons ( I even talked to a sexual assault hotline who told me that it was a grey area ) but that it was still something inappropriate that could have potentially hurt someone if they saw. and now im starting to obsess on wether that person actually saw or not and if i have hurt her because of it. it's kind of unlikely if she saw, cus she had her back facing me but idk. I saw she liked my posts on Instagram till 2022 ( this thing happened a long time ago ), but even then it's no consolation since now she doesn't follow me anymore ( even if it could have been me that removed her from my followers since we haven't been friends for years and i like privacy ) and since ppl can also realise later on that something that happened to them is assault/harrasment. tho i guess that if she still feels comfortable around my brother and family then it's probably okay? i personally haven't talked to her in a while but she always seemed normal around me after that thing happened. idk, im so ashamed

I forced myself out for a drink with my girlfriend and her friends as my thoughts were being centered around this will happen if you go etc. I said I wasn't going to drink a lot but then the thoughts subsided and I started drinking more and when we were in the last pub I got racing instrusive thoughts of murdering/raping and causing harm to people and myself. These intensified when we got home and the vivid images of the acts I was commuting were so vile and graphic (skinning people/eating there brains and organs to name a few), I tried talking to my girlfriend about the thoughts of killing her family etc and she likes not judged me but couldn't handle the thoughts and that made me spiral to the point of having suicidal thoughts and making an attempt for my own life. I didn't tell her I was feeling suicidal or that I didn't want to act on these thoughts and now I feel terrible. I have been told to sit with the imagery and thoughts but how does one do that when its constant.

I had a dream and I feel very hopeless. I'm not sure if it was big portion or just the end of the dream but their was something romantic (it's uncomfortable to even type omfg) with my brother. I was just thinking about how since my brother is getting older, we have more in common and can be like actual friends. This is just so unsettling and rn I just want to stay away from everyone like my intrusive thoughts have been so bad and I'm tired man. I truly have gotten tired of fighting my brain and can't differentiate my thoughts from intrusive ones.

Hey guys have you ever just start doing something, either work, practice, or simply just enjoy life with family and friends, but then all of the sudden you just start to want to cry over your thoughts, and every mistake you made, every mental image you feel guilty over.

Tomorrow I started a new treatment with Saxenda, because my gynecologist told me, with the exactly dosis, I was really happy for have better health, but I saw a comment on TikTok there's a possibility of Cancer Thyroid, now I'm thinking what If I'll get cancer, and thinking about don't want to ruin my treatment but if the cancer? But a lot of normal things give you cancer, I so scared but was that comment on TikTok I scared ah, now I'm searching on Google, but nothing is going to happen right ??? If I have the control of my dosis nothing's going to happen right?

I can’t stop crying because I can’t find joy in anything. I’m trying to distract my mind before I have my 15 min, free phone call tomorrow but I just keep crying. I hate this feeling so much, I want to go to my mom and ask for reassurance that I’m okay and I’ll be fine but I don’t want her to ask me what I’ve been thinking lately. I’m afraid it’ll cause me an even bigger panic attack or something. My brain is searching for some type of reassurance that I’ll be okay, but I can’t find it. I keep thinking no one will understand me and that they’ll think I’m crazy. Anyways, I’ll try to sleep.

Anyone else start to feel stomach pain/a churning in their stomach when their OCD starts worsening a bit? (TMI) sometimes it even causes the worst gas pain. I’m so sick of it. Not only am I aware of the thoughts but then I’ve also got physical symptoms to deal with too.

Sometimes when I’d pray I felt like there wasn’t any hope and I was so scared. But now I look back and I’m living in the times I prayed to Jesus Christ for! A time of peace and joy! If you’re going through a tough time just know if you put your faith in him it will get better! Unfortunately our battle in life is with ocd but it doesn’t mean that’s who we are. If you need to talk I am here and I have dealt with everything imaginable with ocd! Stay positive!!

Last night I had a weird dream I don’t feel comfortable saying what about but it was definitely a dream against who I am and my beliefs… the dream made me feel so scared and disgusted and worried because why am I dreaming of something so weird and something that doesn’t even correspond to me at all.. can someone help it’s making me feel like a bad person. It’s making me feel so worried like why did I dream such a bad thing what does it mean does it make me a bad person.?? I hate it

Has anyone’s OCD effect their sex life at all? I have SO OCD and it really have effected the intimacy with my bf because I get in my head to much. I think I need to work on that the most :(

I have recently started to have more frequent bouts of sexual dysfunction with my girlfriend, used to happen once in a blue moon but now seems to be unpredictable (one day yes one day no) and has been causing lots of stress which leads to increase in dysfunction i think (vicious cycle). I take clomipramine, increased dosage 3 ish months ago and this begun about a month ago, also unfortunately began using nicotine again around same time but plan to stop next week(dont know if this is relevant). I have been quite stressed about this and other things and when it comes time to perform, i cant even focus and am just worrying things wont work or something is wrong. I just want to go back to normal and not have one more (large, personally) thing to worry about. Any tips? Im a healthy young male who excercises regularly.