- Date posted
- 1y
And guilt and need to confess. Any tips? - it’s making me having suicidal thoughts.
- Trigger warning
Kickstart your recovery journey with a caring community of others
working to conquer OCD
And guilt and need to confess. Any tips? - it’s making me having suicidal thoughts.
Still struggling with these thoughts they're causing extreme stress. I watched a video about ocd harm thoughts on YouTube and the guy said people without ocd plan the violent acts so now the thoughts have turned into worrying I could plan something even tho it scares me to death. Just wondering if anyone else has gone through that thanks
I feel so defeated but I gave into my compulsion because I was having really bad silent panic attacks at work. And I decided to tell my boss the truth. He seemed very very chill about it and wasn’t upset but I’m still like ….. disappointed and concerned that I’m doing this the 3 week of my new job. I can’t be doing this. I need this job forreal. Has anyone else had the same experience?
I don't expect anyone to give my a full article of answers, but does anyone else experience more intensity of their OCD/intrusive thoughts during road trips/vacations?? I remember even long before being diagnosed I would be obviously excited for a vacation but at the same time so nervous for the vacations because i knew that my intrusive thoughts got so much worse and felt more "real" i guess in a sense during them. It's the weirdest thing. Maybe it's the long drives or just the stress of being in an unfamiliar place?? Appreciate y'all. Have a good one.
I was wondering if this is a thing. Like, say, especially if you are in the process of getting better. Doesn't doing ERP every day keep reminding you of your obsessions? Is there a point where you should do it less often? Or how does this work?
So I know I’ve asked this question before but it’s like finding the final answer to this question is an obsession in itself ….so I get fixated on stuff like this week it’s video game addiction topics I will research about video game addiction stories until I tire myself out about them and last week it was getting a new gaming system and researching questions/topics about it until I’ve researched so much that I’m not even excited about said item anymore then it can go into ocd reassurance seeking so I get obsessed about researching ANY topic and it’s like when I get my fix im done with it and the next week it will be something new like why are we addicted to soda and it’s just a cycle … does anyone else deal with this? Is it part of my ocd or is it just me as a person please help
I know that Jesus died and paid the price for my sins and that they are pardoned. But do I really? Some part of me finds it hard to believe, as badly as I want to. I struggle with drug addiction, so each day as I use I think to myself how could God possibly forgive me when I’m sinning so willingly? How could he grant me access to heaven when I do what I do? I think of it like an apology (on my part) means nothing without changed behavior. So why should he forgive me if I won’t change? Can anyone explain that?
So, a while ago, I was obsessing over feeling like I had to tell my best friend something. I couldn’t seem to bring myself to just do it but the guilt was eating me alive. One day, we had a conversation about something related to it and the conversation led to what I had to tell her. I told her, apologized, and things went will. It was unplanned but it was a good conversation. My guilt went away (although my OCD tried to bring it back some times) and we remained friends. Now, I have something else I need to tell my parents and I feel like it’ll be easier for me to talk about it in a conversation about something else I think they should know. My OCD is telling me I’m weak for doing it this way instead of just coming out and saying it randomly. It also tells me I’m manipulative because if it’s not the only thing I talk away, the weight of it won’t be the same and they need to know how terrible I am and how big this was. Additionally, what I need to tell them is something I did when I had a mental break down like eight years ago. I feel like if I mention my mental health, I’m not taking responsibility. I’m not trying to blame it and shrug it off like it doesn’t matter because there’s a reason I did it. It’s just that it’s an explanation. It’s what happened, and I was planning to mention it in a bigger conversation about mental health and the medication I’m on. I think I’m horrible for doing it this way, I think my OCD is right but when I try to just say it, my words get messed up from being unbelievably anxious. So I just feel weak and manipulative and awful.
Yesterday at night I was doing lunch for my husband and I grabbed a knife to cut something and I used to get anxiety over being around a knife and yesterday I didn’t feel nothing not even scared and I started doubting myself and I started to think okay if you were to act on your thoughts what would you feel and I couldn’t feel scared and I was like fuck and I struggle with feeling in love with him because I struggle with relationship ocd as well thinking I’m not for him or just doubting our relationship and it made me think like I didn’t love him and then today I’m just thinking and it makes me feel evil because I can’t feel anxiety over doing something to him and I don’t feel scared or anything and I’m just thinking and it makes me think like I’m enjoying it and I feel good about it or I don’t care and it makes me feel uncomfortable not being able to not feel scared
I have had severe health anxiety for the past almost two years. As a result I am very underweight and am risking losing my husband if I do not get this under control. I convinced myself I have a disease that my lab work and ultrasounds have proved otherwise, however, by googling it says they can be wrong and I’m constantly searching for symptoms and signs. I news help and I’m so ready
So I started therapy and my anxiety has calmed down a lot. I am starting to feel optimistic but I’m still really depressed and affected by everything that was happening before I started therapy. Basically I convinced myself I’m gonna become a Serial killer and I don’t know when or why but I just am convinced one day I’m gonna want to kill people and I’m gonna end up in jail and my family will hate me. I’m very religious and never want to hurt anyone but constantly fighting these thoughts my body gave up with having panic attacks from the thoughts that now my body just stays calm. That freaks me out even more because it makes me wonder if my brains comfortable with the thought and I’m gonna do that thing. Does anyone experience this?
Can I please hear some success stories with rocd? I see ones on here where it ends relationships and it's so scary to read. I would love to hear success stories. I have fear of him leaving me or cheating on me when I KNOW It's never happened and most likely won't. The fear is so hard to deal with when this theme spikes
My theme has shifted drastically in the past year. I haven’t used NOCD in a while since i’ve been doing a lot better and thought i’d just check and see how the community is doing. Hope you’re all doing okay 👌🏼. I suffered with SO-OCD for over a year. Thankfully, i’ve somewhat overcome this and it’s nothing but a passing thought in my head After a period of peace I began having obsessions and fears about the end of the world. Specifically asteroid/comets. The sound of a plane, a low rumble, or a loud bang is enough to send me spiralling. I’d jump for my phone to see what the news was saying and even downloaded a flight radar app to check if what i was hearing was a plane or not. Last night i noticed a bright star start flickering and i was convinced i was gonna die. The dreams are relentless. Every night I have nightmares about the same thing and every night I feel absolute horror, coming to terms with death before waking up in a cold sweat. Let me know your thoughts or if anyone else is going through similar things.
So i am a Catholic. My brain keeps saying that if I don’t make big posts on social media it means I am embrassed or ashamed of my religion. I am not at all!!!!!!! Idk why but I don’t want to make big posts about my religion. I always post on social media but my brain guilt trips me when I dotn make some posts. It keeps accusing me. I keep having anxiety like i am doing something so bad. For instance today it said that if I don’t make this post with a paragraph about my religion it means I am embrassed or ashamed. I am not so confused bc i am not not posting it becaue i am embrasses or ashamed or shamed wheatver. It’s not becaue of anything bad if i was ashamed or embrassed i would know but i am not. I always make posts me not posting a whole paragraph dotn me being ashamed or embrassed or don’t want to be judged it i was worried i would be judged i woudl t make teh posts i just don’t want to i guess seem like I am over doing it? Not that u can ever but idk i am not ashamed or embrassed i don’t care if people judge me for my religion or my posts i just don’t want to overdo it? I guess I don’t want people to be like “she posts a lot about that” or stuff. Is that normal? It’s not becaue i am ashamed or embrassed. M’y ocd won’t leave me alone. I guess I don’t want it to be in a ocd way? Someone help- if ur not religious don’t reply to this. But me not wanting people to think taht i post too much about it isn’t me being ashamed or embrassed u know. Because I don’t care about being judged for my religion.
I dont even know how to explain myself. Im 20 and I’ve never been in a relationship and one day i want to fall in love and be with someone. I really desire that and i want to love someone and i also wish i was a mother one day. The thing is, i always obsess about the thoughts of relationships. When i have a guy on my mind i always need to google stuff like “Signs you are in love” or “Signs you are attracted” just to know. When i think i might like someone i get these thoughts that “this is not it, you are just making things up etc.” I just feel so obsessed with it, like i always question if i can love, if i ever will be in love (i really want to), or the fact that some people at my age have a partner, slowly getting engaged or they are expecting a baby. Im scared that im just too old and nothing like that will happen to me. I just feel like urge to figure it out. Like who my partner is gonna be, if im gonna love someone. It’s hard to explain. I feel like i can not be just chill and live my life and not always focusing on these things. Then i compare myself with others and i feel like im broken because i feel like it will never happen to me. Then i even get thoughts that what if im aromantic. It also makes me anxious even though i dont think im one. Another thing is, that when this is mixed with SO-OCD its even more terrible😔 Sometimes when i have these thoughts about relationships and also so-ocd….i feel that my stomach is tight and i feel anxiety. Then i get scared that just because i think about relationships and i get tight stomach that must mean im just gay and denial and the thought about having a relationship with a men must be wrong for me, even though my natural thoughts are always with men. 😔😔 it bothers me. I feel like i will never be at peace.
I’m new here. I scheduled a call for tomorrow at 12:20 my time, and I’m nervous. I’m just tired of being this way. I’m 48 with an amazing husband and 7 kids and a grandbaby. I like to fish, laugh with my husband, tease around with my kids, love on my grandbaby, and learn to better love myself. I found this site by a pure happy accident tonight while I was searching for ways to stop dermatillomania. I’ve only struggled with that off and on over the years, but it’s particularly rough rn for no particular reason. Always a good time. I also severely struggle with arithomomania, and when the picking isn’t an issue the counting makes life extremely annoying. I’m really hoping this is useful because I’m rather desperate. If anyone has any positive stories to share I’d greatly appreciate it. TIA!
And you don’t have to go full Carnivore or Vegan, or order certified organic expensive food programs. Staying away from the processed stuff, the preservatives, and seed oils is pretty much all you have to do. When I eat this way ^^ I would say all of my symptoms are improved by about 80% The cycle 🔄 repeats, though. I eat clean, cook all my meals (which can be a pain) and I do great all week. By the weekend, I’m feeling so good that I convince myself OCD and sleep problems have nothing to do with diet, and then I just go ahead and go to Taco Bell, start eating whatever I have a taste for, don’t cook, grab a frozen meal.. and then guess what happens It doesn’t happen immediately. It’s always about 24 hours after the fact. By Monday, I’m floored by anxiety, OCD games when I’m trying to sleep, odd depression upon waking up, no energy, falling back asleep while drinking morning ☕️ (and failing, sleep is impossible even tho I’m tired) and eventually I end up back on here. Always so thankful you guys are here, yet mad at myself because it starts all over again. Then in a panic, I go back to eating clean, cooking, as much as I don’t feel like it because I’m so down.. and again, after 24 hours, I’m good again. OCD is gone. Just thought I’d share for anyone who feels like they’re sinking. 🛟 I’m gonna add a list of foods I avoid. When I decide to indulge, these are the little buggers that mess up my whole mind: -Fast foods like 🍟 or 🌮 cooked in seed oils -All boxed cereals except Grape Nuts -All frozen meals except Amy’s Organic -All pizza from pizza places 🍕 (☹️ I know.) -Any and all gas station foods, hot or packaged. -Protein bars/meal bars with strange ingredients -Lunch meat -Restaurant food, fried foods -Yogurt with modified food starch and fake sweeteners -All baked goods, desserts, and candies -Anything with high fructose corn syrup -Cool Whip -Peanut butter -Fruit juice with added sugar -All dressings including Mayo -Bread, unless imported from Italy, or Sourdough -All soda So you might be thinking, what the heck is left? Eggs, organic pita bread, butter, full fat yogurt without the extra bad stuff, fruits, veg, baked potato, sour cream, sauerkraut, ground beef, steak, turkey,🥇shrimp, chicken, fish, pork, organic chocolate chips, organic brownie mix (use melted butter in place of veg oil), homemade tacos with Paramount pita, Aloha protein bars, almonds, ground fax (this works wonders for my brain) peanuts, seeds, avocado, hummus, organic cheese, lots of water! Give it a shot, you’ve got nothing to lose. Well, one thing you’d love to lose. 😉 It temporarily goes away. For me, anyway. Can’t speak for everyone but just wanted to share. ❤️💙
Hey guys so I finally started doing erp for soocd, 6 long years of battling and I had the BEST week of my life, symptoms gone everything. Then suddenly I get hit with the what if my bf is cheating on me and holy this has hit me like a truck. I’m convinced my bf doesn’t love me he’s going to break up and he’s cheating on me, even tho he’s amazing. I need to ask for reassurance every second of the day and if he doesn’t reply I freak out convinced he’s gonna break up with me. Has anyone had this ? My poor bf is never going to get a break and I’m afraid this is going to ruin us. We have been together for a year and it’s honestly been a year of just struggle and pain because of my ocd, it’s attacked our relationship and everything. I want it to stop. Any tips?
I have powerful existential ocd. My current most distressing spike ever has me almost convinced that me and my son were sucked into a virtual reality in my phone or another dimension like a mirror or tv, and that this reality is all fake and I've separated him from the real world. All because I had a guilt thought nearly two months ago. On top of that, my partner let me know she's dating another man two weeks ago and I was just laid off today. I need kind souls that understand and some empathy. Thank you.
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life