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Hello I'm just posting to see if anyone needs to talk about your day or what's bothering you! Feel free to comment

Someone had told me that my religious ocd/harm ocd intrusive thoughts, could be caused by paranoia or schizophrenia, and now I can’t stop thinking that I’m losing my mind and that I’m crazy… my religious ocd sometimes says “God wants you to harm someone.” Or “God is the almighty and can control you and make you do these terrible things” even though I know deep down that’s completely absurd.. it even says it in the 10 commandments.. I’m so lost.. I hope I’m not actually crazy.. I don’t want to hurt anyone..

In addition to my pocd / false memory OCD situation, I feel like Im going to pass away with no friends, no girlfriend, and no family. I have no one who loves me. And Im going to pass away alone. I slowly have to accept that. Theres nothing I can do except live out my life, not knowing if my worst fears have come true or not, and slowly wither away while everyone moves on with their lives and forgets my name. Im unloved, alone, and miserable. Thats who I am. The end.

I would first like to disclose to you all, that I am not actually diagnosed with OCD. I am pretty certain I have it, but idrk at this point. Anyways, I haven’t posted on here before, but I kinda just really want to talk to people about things that have been bothering me. So first of all, every single day for literally the last year, I have been constantly mentally checking to see if things I’m doing are OCD-related or not. The thoughts, the actions, the emotions; they all feel surreal to an extent. I know it sounds stupid, but it gets to the point where I have screaming arguments in my head that never go away and it feels so loud :(. That started when I first learned about OCD and I connected the dots to harm-OCD, which in turn led to a bunch of repetitive research. Next, I would like to ask, do you guys ever have lapses where it gets really bad and then just disappears for a couple months? These last two months have been pretty relaxed mentally, and then school started and my head is trying to kill itself again. But I feel so doubtful now because I no longer have so many symptoms that match up and idk if I’m just faking everything. Like, the harm-ideation has mainly gone away (except to my self because my mind is like “hey it works for other people, you should do it” but I can handle telling myself no), and I’m not washing my hands over and over again to get the sticky feelings away. But idk. Another thing on my mind is surrounded around npd/aspd. Idk about you guys, but my brain is really mean, and I often end up accidentally saying things I really shouldn’t. And as you can tell by my writing, I write a lot about ME. It is super annoying and I have to rewrite texts and stuff over and over because it just seems self centered and I don’t want people to think that I think I’m better than them, because I really don’t. I feel like I’m kinda a jerk and it really bugs me. Do any of you worry about this? I know I’m not a narcissist, but I can’t get it out of my head. And I struggle with empathy, but we think it’s autism so idk. But if it isn’t autism, then what would it be, you know? Also, this is kinda personal but none of you know me so I’ll say it anyways: So my gf was the one who asked me to go to the homecoming with me (I really should’ve asked…) (which I’ve never gone before), and I was kind of being reclusive the whole time we were there. I know it was a dance, but I couldn’t get myself to do much other than holding her hand for like 10 seconds, which on my part is REALLY HARD because idk why but physical touch feels really wrong and inappropriate, even though it’s meant to show affection. But I didn’t do much and she keeps saying that it was all okay and that I’m okay but I’m afraid that she doesn’t like me, and I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable being around me. We’ve been friends for quite a while, and I think it’s okay but idk and I’m so tired of worrying. I want to ask her if she still likes me but I don’t want her to say no ;-;. She is so supportive and kind, and I think she’d speak up if she wanted something to change, but idk. Plus, I watched a video today where a guy’s wife told him that she didn’t love him anymore but she stuck around anyways, and that is NOT helping. Long story short, I’m feeling really overwhelmed right now, and I have procrastinated homework until now… I had a cross country meet yesterday, and today I have wasted the vast majority of my day in bed (after sleeping for 15 hours, may I add…). I’m sorry that this is so long, you guys don’t have to say anything, but it would be really nice to talk to someone. And don’t worry, my parents are trying to find out a psychologist person/therapy (allegedly), but they said insurance won’t pay for it so it might be a while :’c. I don’t think it’s in their list of priorities rn Have a good rest of your evening/day everyone!

hi all hope everyone is doing well. i had been doing a lot better since my last ocd relapse last year in oct but i’m currently really struggling with health anxiety/ocd. it feels like the toughest theme yet. while i was able to get better without medication before, i’m now considering it because ive realized that ive had too many relapses in the past five years than I would have liked to have. i’ve always been hesitant to get on an ssri because i’m terrified of the adjustment period. and now my health anxiety is playing into the fear a little with the side effects and what not. anyway i’d really appreciate any insight/advice. thank you!!

For anyone struggling with religious OCD/ scurpulosity?

Hi all, I’m curious is anyone taking medicine for their OCD and if so which one and is it helping? I’ve been on Prozac for almost 7 weeks and I just don’t think it’s doing much. I’m only on 30mg so perhaps I need to get to 40.

I was looking into stuff for my friend who apparently has no internal monologue or capability to imagine images which is amazing but I can't imagine a life with that. I knew someone years that also couldn't imagine images a few years back and asked her what would happen if they took psychedelics. It turns out they've been using something called psilocybin to tackle a range of disorders like the ones mentioned above, ptsd and ocd with some positive results. I feel as if it might untangle some stuff in our minds in order to see more clearly. The hallucinations of the psychedelics may purely be our brain reorganising itself. Thought it was interesting

I have suicidal ocd and im feeling so anxious. I was feeling a lot better for around 3-4 weeks, but I saw many posts about suicide these last days and they triggered me so much. It feels like I cant move on until I have the certainty that I will live a long and happy life. Life would be so beautiful if I didnt have that strong fear. Its making me anxious physically in my chest and I feel kinda depressed. Then because I feel depressed, ocd tries to tell me I will commit suicide. Sometimes it even feels so real, like if I really had suicidal ideation. Im scared these are not intrusive thoughts, but really ideations… But I know its just intrusive. I love life and could never do that. The simple thought of it makes me so anxious, so theres no way I could possibly do it! (My ocd just told me that last sentence was me trying to convince myself of something false) Its just so confusing, I feel like im loosing myself and I feel like im gonna die so young. Im terrified and I want a long happy life!!!

So I am trying to get help and I have to fill out this Obsessive compulsive inventory and it’s stressing me out so bad - a bulk of the questions are things like washing your hands etc and counting and nothing is specific in any way to the sub type of OCD that I might have it’s causing me to spiral and think that I don’t have OCD. I am so stressed right now. I have a follow up phone call tomorrow and I’m terrified they will say it’s not OCD. I just tested my results and looked online and it says that I don’t have OCD - for example it says you have to have a score above 41 or a mean score of 2.5 on one of the sections which I don’t.

I’m struggling with my moral scrupulosity OCD. Whenever a therapist has assigned me ERP in the past, I feel like it goes against my values. Like I obsess over being a good person, following the rules, and in general not causing harm in the world. And I’m asked to do things that go against that? Does anyone else struggle to reconcile these ideas? I want to get better so shouldn’t I follow the therapy.. But also I feel like it makes me hate myself even more. And provides more fodder for my OCD. Is anyone else stuck?

Hi, please somebody help me. I’m living the worst time of my OCD, and I really need reassurance that this is really OCD. I’m wake up already with the thoughts and the emotions, and even the physical sensations. I can’t stop thinking about killing people, I don’t want to stay alone but at the same time I also don’t want to be with certain people. I even question if i like my parents, and my close people. I feel like I Will lose control at anytime. I feel like I am some kind of psycho or a serial killer from the tv series.

I’m so tired practicing ERP like I’m so mentally exhausted and also feel a little unmotivated. I don’t want to feel anxious it’s freaking me out now but I have to do it to stay vulnerable. How do I do stay motivated and strong-willed?

I was raised by very strict parents and have always longed to Ben independent and have an adventurous life. I originally wanted to be a nurse because that provided the lifestyle I was hoping for. I didn’t like some aspects of it and my father also wasn’t really supportive and tried to sway me to be a teacher. I never really wanted to be a teacher but I kind of felt forced to do it. Also, I’m not a confident person, I’m very fearful. It took me a long time to learn how to drive. Partly because of having overprotective parents who infantilized me. But then also partly because my natural fearful and cautious personality. There’s nothing I want more than to be free and have adventure. But there’s also nothing more terrifying to me to be free and have adventure. I am now a young adult but still live with my parents. They have control of my life and I don’t have any friends. I thought about changing careers so I could be financially independent. But sometimes I think I should just stick with teaching. I just don’t think I could be financially independent which is probably exactly why my father wanted me to do it. He always says I should stay at home until I get married. I’m not going to go into a philosophical discussion about feminism vs traditional gender roles, but like I said I’m a fearful person, and if there was someone to just marry me so I could escape living my with parents who mistreat me I would be fine with that. I guess I’m just wondering what to do. I want to be free but I’m also terrified of making any decisions on my own. Terrified of the outside world and I have horrible ocd. I was also raised Christian. I still am a Christian but I don’t believe in a strict set of rules you must adhere to, to please God. Does anyone know what I should do? I have dreams of adventure but the dreams paralyze me because being alone in the world is so terrifying? I’m also afraid that God would be upset with me. It’s like my parents treat me terrible but I’m afraid of being alone. I am the scapegoat of the family and have always disagreed with a lot of my families ideas. I believe in Christianity but I’m not very traditional or family oriented like my family is. It’s hard to be around my family because I disagree with all of them but I’m also scared to be on my own in the real world.

Hi. I’m writing this post because I don’t know if I should be medicated again. Lexapro worked well for me, but I gained like 30 pounds. I quit because of that and honestly I thought I was able to manage my OCD well better. I was wrong, it got worse again. I wish I can do this without medication…that’s why I expose myself everyday, doesn’t matter how drained and exhausted I get. Are you guys medicated or trying to go without medicine. How is it going for you guys? Many hugs for all of you. We got this.

Do you ever have a situation in front of you and you genuinely don’t know the best way to get through it? Like a difficult situation but the question is do you grind it out or use self compassion and give yourself breaks? There are so many different philosophies to follow, even if they’re not formal philosophies. For example, I have watched a lot of David Goggins and Jocko Willink on YouTube. Both of them have very extreme philosophies of discipline and how to handle hardship. Both of their philosophies have helped me during times of hardships in my life. But other philosophies have also helped me at other times of hardships in my life, philosophies that have more to do with self kindness and self compassion. So sometimes it seems like there’s so many approaches to how to live life that it’s paralyzing. Were any of y’all able to overcome the seemingly endless amount of choices towards mindsets to approach life with? How were y’all able to overcome this?

Does anyone have any tips on how to move on from intrusive thoughts when you’re constantly afraid that if you ignore them God will be mad at you?

I noticed myself not understanding why things are wrong like I be having thoughts like "why would cheating be bad" and I just actually find it hard to find a reason? The only things I know are bad are like being mean and doing crimes but like damn

I was going through my old account (I had when I was 12-13) I noticed I was following this little kid that was like trying to flex, and my brain keeps saying weird things, I feel so uncomfortable rn, I keep yelling at it to shut up, pls help guys

It’s another sleepless night accompanied by my most painful obsession: what happens after we die? It’s not so much a mental debate, rather than a panic provoked by what I believe to be absolute. I’ve struggled with religion, and I still do. I was raised Christian, but didn’t find much belief in God after my father passed before my teenage years. I’ve considered myself agnostic with an open mind to religion, but for as long as I can remember, the most logical afterlife scenario to me is nothing. Just. Nothing. Pitch black, no consciousness, nothing, just as it was before you were born. And this TERRIFIES me. I don’t want life to end! Sure I’ve had my struggles in life, certainly had moments where I’ve wish I didn’t have to live, but the idea that one day I’ll never experience life again makes all the bs worth it. I’d rather live a life of constant tragedy and struggle than to simply cease existing. I’ve had this obsession since I was in elementary school, before I even knew what religion and death truly were. Before I ever experienced death in my family, I’d be crying and panicking to my mother in the middle of the night about how I’m terrified to die. It went away for a couple years, but the last couple months it’s been resurfacing out of nowhere. Whenever I have a calm and quiet moment, this thought pops in my head. Like a little devil whispering reminders with the sole intention of causing panic. I try so hard to think of something, anything different. But no matter what, the dread of death persists and it’s all I can think about until I’m hyperventilating repeating “no no no” to myself, desperately trying to calm down and fall asleep. I’m so tired of this torture. How do I stop this obsession? How do I come to terms with my inevitable fate? I’ve tried finding solace in religion but I can’t force myself to believe in something I don’t just to find comfort in death. I want there to be something more after death, but how do I believe it to be true? I want to believe in an afterlife, whether heaven or hell or reincarnation. I don’t care. I just want to live life without this fear of what comes next.