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the NOCD Community

I’m going on vacation to Vegas in a month. But my OCD thoughts are getting worse & im freaking out that they will ruin my trip. How will i deal with this

i feel like getting on this app is a compulsion, but it brings me so much comfort knowing there’s people out there like me. and knowing i’m not alone

Does anyone notice they change clothes after they either touched something that brings anxiety or are in a situation that brought anxiety in.....even if yours clothes were not touched? This happens to mr and it gets exhausting and I change clothes more often than I need yo. I have been trying not to change clothes if they are not dirty. I am trying to sit with it for a while. How long does it take before your brain stops telling you to change clothes or do the compulsion you do?

I just feel so lonely with my thoughts. I want someone to sit next to me for hours so we talk and I cry and I open up fully. I tried therapy but it just isn’t enough. I am extremely scared that I lose my mind any second and not be able to function normally like be hospitalized for the rest of my life. I can’t anymore. It’s too hard. I cannot open up because my thoughts and concerns are all sexual like about my sexual orientation or if I want to have threesome or what happens after and should I do it or not. I have this urge to ask my 23 yo sister about it but deep down I am afraid she would not understand me and judge me. it’s so scary to live my life. I am zoned out all the time. I am tired and scared and lonely and stuck. I cannot get anything done.

I want to encourage everyone who comes across this to reach out to the people you want to reach out to. For so long, I know I felt under an obligation to be so self-sufficient in managing my life, that I didn’t need to rely on anybody. But this a sad and lonely philosophy. It denies the part of us that blossoms when we share our lives with other people. And I don’t want anyone else to have to experience that, so long as I can help it. I want people to feel free to love unconditionally and BE loved unconditionally. So show them your whole soul. Bright as the stars. I don’t think there’s a risk more worth taking.

Does anyone else wish there was a chat feature to speak with a coach or counselor on here? I guess they might worry that people will seek immediate reassurance, but sometimes being all alone is horrible. I have had non stop adrenaline since Friday and being alone like this feels 10x worse. I visited someone yesterday, and I’m trying to hold out to see my therapist tomorrow but it’s so difficult. I am so alone.

Hey guys. Just a reminder that regardless of the subtype, our need for certainty is the enemy. I hope you guys are doing okay today. Any victories or grievances that need to be shared?

Hey how are you all doing ? I’m looking for people who has struggled with existential ocd bc I feel this theme is not very common and very hard ( at least for me ) so anyway if you would like to exchange about it don’t hesitate ! I’m looking for support bc god I hate this theme

I can’t tell what’s right and wrong anymore. It’s like my moral compass/rationality is completely broken. I could just shut my feelings down whenever. It might sound like a good thing but it also means I wouldn’t feel any remorse or guilt or negative emotions if I were to do something immoral (hypothetically speaking). In contrast, sometimes my feelings get so deep in the way that my rationality cannot win no matter what. My brain does that out of nowhere and I hate it because it ends up triggering my OCD theme and I have to start back up to be able to cope again. It’s like I’ve developed this intense intolerance towards any sort of stress whatsoever, even the good type of stress that helps you grow. My brain just shuts down and mentally I become a kid again and I can’t listen to logic no matter what.

Lately I’ve been feeling so off. I’ve realized I’ve been having more “bad” days. Long story short I’ve been living in pain for over a year and was told I need back surgery. Due to the pain and injury I’ve had many restrictions. I’m unable to do a lot of the things I normally do and I’ve been just sitting around mostly every day not doing much. I almost think I’m slightly depressed. The surgery is about a month away but I just feel like all my emotions are finally hitting me. Like today I felt so upset and lonely and almost spaced out. I’ve been trying to stay positive but I just feel overwhelmed.

i give my cats belly rubs and they love it. im getting anxious im abusing my cat because i touch her nipple area when i rub her belly, she doesn’t mind at all but i feel guilty but it feels so kinda a funny weird feeling when i do it so now i feel guilty. would go erp be to rub the area a little more to expose myself?

Hi, I am new to this community and don’t know much about OCD or if i even have it. I am a college senior going to a university that is relatively close to my home (1.5 hr) My goal was to apply to OT school at my current school because I love it there and can’t imagine myself anywhere else. I have a high gpa, many observation hours, and was told i would be a top candidate-if I passed the GRE. This school is the only school in my state that requires the GRE for OT school. Well, with the stakes being so high I was a complete wreck before the exam. It stressed me out so much that even looking at study materials made me nauseous. I did not score high enough to get into my desired program when I took it. I am retaking it next Tuesday (which i had to beg the admissions committee to let me do due to it being past a due date) and i feel the weight of my whole future on my shoulders. If I don’t get into my desired program, I will have to go to programs that are very far from home/my boyfriend of two years who I currently live with. I feel if I don’t pass, I will have to move away to a different school and I will lose my boyfriend. He is my rock and is so important to me. My other option is to stay where I am and attend the radiography program at the local community college and stay close to home and be with my boyfriend . Note: i just decided to apply to OT school this year (changed major from nursing). Do I risk my relationship/happiness for a career that i don’t even know that I will enjoy or do i keep my relationship, stay close to home, but regret not taking a huge opportunity given to me. This situation stays in my mind all day and night which is stressing me out greatly. Sorry for such a long post, I just want an unbiased view on what I should do/how to get this thought out of my head. thx for listening <3

I have no idea who I am anymore. I have completely lost my self. And idk what to do. Idk where my caring, and loving, chirst like side went. I have lost touch with who I am and everything I once new. I've had ocd for so long that I think it just became me. Or I'm dealing with cognitive Dissonance, which I feel like it probably true. Tbh. But anyways I feel like I'm genuinely gone crazy towards god and idk what to do. I wish I could just go back to myself, and I'm just not sure what to do. I think I turned away from God the only thing that once brought me joy. Just seems so dry now, like I'm empty or whatever. I personally don't think I'll ever be ok again.

I noticed I’ve been posting a lot these past few weeks. I just hate my brain and been having a lot of ocd I’m very picky who I’m intimate with. I also have a strong fear of stds/hiv very heavily. I am afraid of lots of things but I can’t live in fear so I decided to engage in intimacy last night. (TMI) I thought the condom popped, but when he showed me it was closed and sealed but my ocd brain is thinking some of it ripped. Now I know that you have to expose yourself to situations that threaten you. I also noticed that I beat myself up heavy when I do an exposure and im still paranoid and then become grateful I’m so tired of my brain and not being able to enjoy anything sometimes: I sometimes feel like leaving this earth.

Does anyone have harm OCD related to recent events? Like events that just happened or happened not long ago? I feel like my OCD is trying to find something bad/immoral I could have done in nearly every situation that I am experiencing, for example “Did you just do that?”. And I constantly want to check, ask people for reassurance, try to find a logic answer by going it though in my head,… It’s many different themes but all related to doing sth bad/immoral (e.g., touching someone inappropriately, pushing someone in front of a vehicle, putting something in a drink/food). Does anyone have the same? Or the other thing that I experienced recently is that I did something (a rather unimportant action, not harming anyone) and I go over and over it and ask myself “why did you do that? What does that say about you? Are you actually a weird person?” It feels like I draw “false conclusions” from a real event… I don’t know if that’s OCD though or not. Just wondering if anyone has experienced the same. Good luck to you all! We’re not alone in this! 😊

i don’t know what to do anymore. i love my boyfriend but i also feel so guilty because i critcism him in my mind and im really controlling and i know that and im pretty sure if i really loved him i wouldn’t be thinking the things i do about him sometimes i wish he was smarter or did certain things and i hate it is it bad that i think that? part of me thinks i should just give up and find someone perfect and wait for the real one but i also love him and he’s my best friend and i don’t want to lose him but at the same time i want to break up with him because sometimes certain things don’t feel right and just the fact that i have cirticisms about him makes me feel terrible and he’s so so perfect and sweet and i think he deserves someone better and i really don’t know what to do please help i wanted it to be him i did and it just feels like something’s going to happen to us like i’m going to break up with him but at the same time i don’t want to but i don’t want to feel like this forever i wish i didn’t judge him because he’s perfect and i planned my future with him but i also can’t stand having all these thoughts and it’s not right to him either and i love him but i don’t even know what to do anymore i want to be with him forever but i want this to go away and i wish he was different but i also know i can’t make anyone change and it’s bad that i don’t love him just the way he is? shouldn’t he deserve someone who loves him just the way he is i just feel so awful and sick this is going to break my heart it feels like i should break up but at the same time i start crying as soon as i think about losing him please help im paralyzed and sick and losing my mind

Does anyone else feel like their partner would break up with them for every gross thought they have attached to ocd, so you distance yourself and now you’re overwhelmed by everything in your relationship and feel like you made the spark go away/ don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so stressed with school too I don’t know whether to take a break in the relationship to better myself to meet their needs.

Today I was officially diagnosed, and a lot of my thoughts all day have been “man, what if I actually don’t have it and I exaggerated my symptoms or something.” I had this thought especially because I hadn’t had a really bad episode in a while. But then sure enough, I had a little episode tonight. I feel like I might’ve brought it upon myself, at least in small part. Having difficulty separating OCD paranoia from real life problems to be considered with at the moment 👎🏻 Gonna sleep on it! 🙏🏻❤️

The theme i struggle with most is suicidal OCD. And with September being “national suicide awareness month”, My anxiety is sky high. i’m back in my spiral. I’m back with the panic attacks. My mind keeps comparing itself to all of these people and now i’m convinced i want too or i have these symptoms and im next. i’m freaking myself out and idk what to do. I get scared i have suicidal ideation when i know i don’t because i would never ever actually kms nor hurt myself in anyway. Does anyone know how to comercome this??? I just got out of my spiral not even 1 months ago and im scared im going deeper this time. My mind is all over the place scared im actually going to do it when i know im not and i feel like i have to go to the hospital or something idk what to do.

This started happening to me in 2022 and it's gotten okay but it's still bothering me a lot. I to do erp when I get the thoughts but it really just feels like confirmation. Here's the thing the idea ALONE that I could be anything other than straight even if it is as tiny as .001% makes me feel awful because I know that the idea of being with another woman is just not for me. But the thoughts and goinals keep coming and I'm at a loss. It's just know that being with my man feels right but these thoughts are starting to affect that. I just feel so lost.