- Date posted
- 50w
This can be triggering for some people. A bit of my story. About four days ago I started having really bad anxiety along with intrusive thoughts about my friend. Let's call him A. Really graphic sexual images along with the words "You want to have sex with him" it sent me into a spiral of paralyzing anxiety and doing compulsions all day everyday. We had developed a close friendship but I did not and still do not see him as anything more than a friend or brother. I've always loved women had women this guy is even my wingman to set up dates with girls lol Right now my thoughts had fluctuates from having sex with him to being in love with him and I am very disturbed by this. I'm not in love with this guy. I like him as a friend as my brother. I've done everything I could to avoid him that if I didn't say the phrases right or if I didn't remind he was my friend something bad would happen. To try and combat the thoughts it just doesn't go away. And everytime I describe this situation (even now) I feel anxiety and not at all a good feeling. It's gross absolutely gross to even imagine my best friend in a sexual or romantic light I feel as if I'm losing control. That something horrible will happen. I also had a thought about him and other of our group being in an accident and dying I felt awful. I also have an appointment with a specialist next week. I just want someone to talk right now because I feel alone. Very alone I have this feeling on impending doom.