- Date posted
- 49w
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If you're in pursuit of happiness, don't anchor it to a person or a specific event. Instead, connect it to a meaningful goal.
Anyone else will just be doing anything normal and I’m gay comes in? It’s so distressing and I try and say ok sure ocd but the anxiety over takes me and my mind won’t let me believe I’m straight when I am. I love men I’m Not attracted to women but when I ask myself the doubt is for sure there which sounds like Casebook ocd. I’m just sick of this I don’t want to have to laugh at things in my head that don’t make any sense it’s so hard and unfair
I have to pray for ocd and because I’m religious anyway but it takes like 10-20 minutes every night and is obviously the same thing every night but it didn’t bother me as much before and I just delt with it when I was doing it but because I’ve now being doing this part of the compulsions for I think half a year I know think if it and dread it all day and want to go upstairs at like 7 ti do this and all other things so I can get to sleep at a reasonable time but it’s so annoying, anyway I just think about it constantly and basically recite what I say in the day for no reason, is this an overreaction or is it normal thanks also me feeling like this I feel like God hates me for this but I want to pray and enjoy it but ocd just took over which is really irritating anyway thanks
I’m confused. I think I’ve gotten progressively more boy crazy and more of a hopeless romantic, but I’ve completely manipulated myself into thinking that boys just don’t like me and I think it’s a fact. In the past, I was confused and lost on what my sexuality was so I would be in a lot of “flirty” friendships thinking that I genuinely liked my female friends I had these friendships with but that was far from the truth. I can’t imagine myself being with a woman but for some reason it’s just easier for me to talk and flirt with them. I have trauma involving why I brainwashed myself into thinking that I’m a magnet that repels boys from me and I still think that and it’s ruining my brain. (I have a crush on this guy and texted him for the first time, he never replied!!!) which honestly proves my point even more. Am I right or is just all in my head? Some advice please!!
I’ve been sharing on here a lot. My therapist is out this week. But in the last few days, it feels…like I want to do the thoughts. Like I had the realization that I could just do them. And want to?!! Like…I don’t understand. I wanted my dog here and alive and now I guess…I don’t anymore? Like it feels like I’ve become everything it’s told me. The non stop thoughts and urges and images and feelings…have won. I’ll be fighting it, but like…get this sudden impulse feeling of like “why are you holding yourself back?” and like..I check to see if I still love her and want her and it feels like I don’t. Or like I do but I want to do the thoughts more. Or I’m with her and my feelings are like “just do it you could just do it.” I feel like I’m just holding myself back and it’s getting too tempting. I don’t understand. I’m going to give my pup away and just…I don’t even know. There’s no way out. I can never go back to normal with her.
This can be triggering for some people. A bit of my story. About four days ago I started having really bad anxiety along with intrusive thoughts about my friend. Let's call him A. Really graphic sexual images along with the words "You want to have sex with him" it sent me into a spiral of paralyzing anxiety and doing compulsions all day everyday. We had developed a close friendship but I did not and still do not see him as anything more than a friend or brother. I've always loved women had women this guy is even my wingman to set up dates with girls lol Right now my thoughts had fluctuates from having sex with him to being in love with him and I am very disturbed by this. I'm not in love with this guy. I like him as a friend as my brother. I've done everything I could to avoid him that if I didn't say the phrases right or if I didn't remind he was my friend something bad would happen. To try and combat the thoughts it just doesn't go away. And everytime I describe this situation (even now) I feel anxiety and not at all a good feeling. It's gross absolutely gross to even imagine my best friend in a sexual or romantic light I feel as if I'm losing control. That something horrible will happen. I also had a thought about him and other of our group being in an accident and dying I felt awful. I also have an appointment with a specialist next week. I just want someone to talk right now because I feel alone. Very alone I have this feeling on impending doom.
Don’t read if you easily get sick by gross topics!!! ——— ——- —— —- — - My stress with POCD, has been so bad, that my poop is literally liquid, and my stomach keeps rumbling when I’m stressed, I have not ate anything that was bad nor do I have a stomach bug problem right now
Hi everyone this is my first post on here but I need advice relationship ocd and ocd in general has taken such a toll on my life as of recently my boyfriend and I decided to not be together we still communicate we’re on good terms and he’ll be visiting soon( long distance) recently a friend I went to school w dad passed and it got me thinking of another friend (male) I used to have feelings for him LONG ago my boyfriend knows of that and I searched his name on Instagram recently and now I feel extremely guilty for this and feel like I need to confess this to my partner did I do something wrong? is this a normal feeling with ocd? someone please give advice.
so I am not diagnosed, but recently for the past week I’ve been having something similar to contamination ocd, but it’s not the typical germ type. It’s the fear of doing something gross, and I keep getting intrusive thoughts where I see images or like actions play out in my head. It took so much to say this so please don’t take this the wrong way. Basically my fear is toothbrushes and doing gross sexual things with them. Actually I get these intrusive thoughts about so many objects, and I don’t know why. I feel like I can’t do anything alone in fear that I might act on these things. I have to throw things out everyday because I’m afraid I’ve done something like this. I always try to look back on past events to make sure I haven’t done anything like that, but I feel like that only makes things worse. Please seriously give any advice, and believe me when I say I DO NOT want to do anything like I just described. I’m losing my mind I just feel so gross. I think this was all triggered by something I read online, and ever since then I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.
im Catholic and ever since starting highschool and started being scared of what people are thinking. I’m scared that I’m evil and that I praise evil because my ocd is a fear of talking to it so my compulsion is to focuse on talking to something or someone else. But, I keep imagining evil like under the ground and now it feels like I know its personality. And I can’t imagine it as truly evil and I can’t even imagine God anymore. Please help
Me and my cat were laying down and she went to bite my belly ring and it gave me a weird sensation and a groinal response, I got curious and also anxious and flicked my belly ring to see if my cat would do the same thing and I got the same feeling, and yes it did give me the same feeling and I hate it because that happens anytime my cat licks me or their nose touches me or anything it’s like the groinal response is automatic and I’m scared I violated my cat by having them bite my belly ring again and I just hate this. Also my intrusive thoughts and groinal responses are way worse when I just wake up and or tired. This whole belly ring thing happened when I was tired and I remember having some intrusive thoughts that were not good I can’t remember exactly and it just seems like the groinal response is genuine arousal and idk what to do I just hate this super bad I just wanna cry and scream and crawl out of my skin
Am i the only one who finds that this just makes me feel the same way as if i would entertain it. Cause im acknowledging, following with my awareness what my brain tells me. And automatically it will make me feel emotions. Im just struggling with that now, many negative thoughts, judgements and if i just let it be here with me, come and go then come back it still affects my emotional being... and i dont find the gap between letting the story be played in your head and engaging with it... if it wouldnt make me feel those strong emotions i would say okay i understand it but it doesnt work like that and then you accept the emotion and try to live life but the thoughts are still there and they make the emotions worse and worse. Its like an automatic feeding machine...so i dont understand where is the gap between sitting with it and engage with it. If you have a really discusting thought that makes you feel horrible, because of the feeling its not that easy to not react to it, the reaction is pretty much automatic. And they youre there having those thoughts nonstop and it makes you feel worse and worse and you can even live your life.
TW. Also long post ahead . I’ve been dealing with OCD for the past 10 years. I’m 32 years old . I didn’t get diagnosed with OCD until this year. I was always diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder, and depression. I don’t have your typical compulsions. Mine are mostly all mental. Reassurance seeking, avoidance , repeating a prayer , etc . I have three main themes . Schizophrenia OCD, sexual orientation OCD, and HIV. Sometimes i deal with harm OCD and POCD but my main big three are the ones I listed first . I feel like the schizophrenic OCD is the most debilitating for me. For the last ten years I’ve been thinking I’m losing my mind . I thought once I got to a certain age the fear would go away but it hasn’t and is in full force . I’m constantly checking my surroundings, what I’m hearing, how I’m acting , questioning if things are real and so on . Now I do have times where this theme doesn’t bother me . It’s put on the back burner . I go through cycles . But when I’m focusing on this theme I feel like I’m hearing stuff . Most of the time I can’t make it out but recently I feel like I’ve been hearing a whisper saying “hey” . It mainly happens at night . It sends me into a complete panic and I feel like “this is it “ I’m seeing an OCD therapist and she recommended me to go to this psychiatric place in town to get meds to help my anxiety from the OCD. My last psychiatrist always pushed the newest medicine and was constantly changing up my regimen. I thought I would give it a try. WORST IDEA EVER . Keep in mind my therapist gave me a letter to give to her explaining I have been diagnosed with OCD and explaining it . She doesn't think I have OCD at all. She wanted to put me on an antipsychotic so me with my OCD brain . I asked her if she thought I was psychotic . She said I was nearing psychosis . She called me interesting . She feels like I have major depressive disorder . I'm just at a loss for words. It was honestly the strangest meeting I have had with a psychiatrist. It was very unprofessional. She has no idea the damage she has done nor do I think she cares. I just don't know what to Believe in anymore ... We met for approximately 45 minutes . First time ever meeting. I just want to cry and I’m freaking out 😢
Hi everyone, I’ve been struggling with a lot of doubts and anxiety in my relationship, and I’m not sure if it’s normal or if it might be something more like relationship anxiety or ROCD. I’m in a long-distance relationship with someone who is incredibly sweet, caring, and kind. And not to mention this is my first relationship ever. Despite knowing all of this, I often find myself overwhelmed by doubts. I constantly question whether I really love him or if I only like the idea of him. Sometimes, I worry that I’m just staying in the relationship because I don’t want to be single or because he’s the kind of person I’m supposed to be with. These thoughts feel so real, and it’s hard to shake them off, even though I don’t want them. I also tend to find “icks” or small things to criticize, and it feels like my brain is trying to push him away, even though I want to be with him. I feel guilty for having these thoughts, and it makes me overthink whether I’m being honest with myself about wanting the relationship. At times, I rely on external validation, like when people tell us we look cute together. I’m scared I might be too focused on what others think, instead of how I truly feel. I also feel guilty about small things, like not responding in the way I think I should, and I worry whether I’m capable of loving someone else. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed by how “perfect” he is, and it makes me try to find ways to dislike him, even though I know he’s a good person. I also feel nervous about things like meeting his parents or not fully enjoying his sense of humor, which adds to my overthinking. I want to be with him, but I’m stuck in this cycle of doubt and overanalyzing my feelings. I just want these thoughts and anxieties to go away. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Could this be a sign of relationship anxiety or something more? Any advice or insights would be really appreciated.
i feel like i need some perspective. i’ve never been in a successful relationship and it gets hard bc you don’t always remember that relationships have bulk and that there’s hard times. i feel like im being taught that right now bc me and my partner are going through a weird time. anyways im at a place where my thoughts and obsessions have returned. i’ve always questioned if i really like her or really want this relationship and it’s so confusing for me. one day i am so in love with her and worry free the next im constantly questioning. i get these thoughts like do i really love her, what if we don’t get married, what if there is really just something missing and we’re not right, i feel like my ocd and anxiety is warping everything and i genuinely can’t tell or feel anything… it’s makes me so sad and guilty. we’re already going through a weird time it feels like i’ll ruin it bc ive been left in my relationships over my mental health before. i made this weird timeline in my brain where by now (10 months) i should be free of worry and so sure of being in the relationship. these past months ive learned so much about myself and her and being with someone who actually cares that im beginning to trust to give these more messy parts of myself to her. and NOW i feel guilty for that bc it’s taken me this long and so that must mean something lol. like that ive been pretending or stringing her along and that this is not a permanent feeling. so now im all confused and spiraling all the time. any advice is so helpful, im starting with my new therapist friday and im really hoping she will help me too.
They’re getting more intense.. My mind wonders if what i’m feeling is really OCD.. what if it’s not and i’m in denial? Why is my life like this, a constant loop of fears and stress holding me back. I just want to live. To be the kind boy everyone knows. To make and be a difference. There’s sometimes I wish I could stay asleep.. to rest for a while. To hibernate all these feelings away. But I know that’s not how it works. Each tear I shed is a reminder of the hell I live every day when I open my eyes. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know why I am anymore. Please someone.. advice, words of positivity, something.. I feel so alone. I’m scared. I don’t know where else to go.
I’ll list some key things with my main subtype, and I hope that I can get some erp advice, but it’s okay if not, I know nobody is my therapist..! 1. I have this thing where when I feel false attraction about a k!d, I will be immediately convinced and say “that means I am?” “I am attracted” “I feel attracted?” “He’s attractive” not to be weird but I panic and say these because I don’t want them, and I feel like I agree with it, this makes me feel like a bad person when I say them (sometimes I can’t help it when I get really stressed) what can I do for this to be better? 2. My brain will give me an intrusive question, asking if I’d do this,this or that, and I feel like agreeing or saying yes to this, sometimes I will hear a yes and I’ll freak out 3. When I get triggered by a photo, I have to keep checking and checking (this will always last forever) till I’m sure that I think the photo is cute or adorable and not in any way that I feel false attraction Whenever I feel convinced, I feel bad that I feel convinced and it’ll say “well if you were a good person, why do you allow yourself to get convinced even if you know you aren’t this”
The green parts are parts I definetly fit into, the yellow part are ambiguos in a way (Not that I ever fall in love with a man, but it feels like I could, and in the case of women lately I been feeling that I liked them in the past but never actually developed a crush like in the anime roncoms I watched (I know that's dumb but at the same time it isnt) and also about the other I do feel like I care what other thinks, like not my biggest concerns but I did have though about it a considerable amount of times)
I used to get very irritable and have severe ocd, while I have only been on Prozac 3 weeks at only 10mg then recently 20mg. I have noticed that although my intrusive thoughts are still there, it’s more manageable like 30% more manageable and I’m hoping with time and if needed an increase of my dosage it could go to 50-90% more manageable. Anyone experience with ssri please share your experience dosage, name, how long it ok to kick in and how is your ocd now on the meds? Thank you
Has anyone had thc/cannibis use trigger their intrusive thoughts related to soocd? Is this possible or is denial?
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