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Does anybody have time to talk

I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.

i’m locked in my bathroom because I am so sad that I can’t stop my intrusive thoughts and ever since I watched the menendez brothers series i can’t stop having these intrusive thoughts that I would like to hurt my parents and that I would like to go to jail which is not true but my mind makes me think its totally true that I will not be happy if i’m not in jail I feel so sad I want to disappear

I went out with my coworkers today. There Is One coworker Who Always asks me if im a lesbian. And It already triggerars me but I try to let It pass. Now today we went out and She started to get really close to me, hug me etc and I started to feel weird, my Heart was beating fast and I don't know why?? My brain is telling me I reacted like that cause I like her. Idk i'm panicking, why did I have so much anxiety when She got close? She's really beautiful too so the fact that she's physically beautiful makes everything worse?? Idk what to think

Is anyone else here a Christian dealing with ocd? I could use some support because I've been having a hard time growing close to God ever since my ocd started getting bad. I deal with a lot of religious intrusive thoughts such as being unforgivable, or being cursed or possessed. What's some advice?

Does anyone else with SO-OCD struggle with imagining a future partner and checking feelings? That’s been my biggest compulsion, and now I feel like I don’t want to end up with a man someday, or that if I do I’ll feel sad or lonely. I’m also sitting here imagining being with women and I can’t tell if I like the sexual thoughts or not anymore, or if my negative reactions mean anything. My face scrunches and I feel anxious and my temperature rises. I’ve been off this app for a couple weeks but still feeling anxiety pretty steadily. I keep imagining the future and getting this feeling and voice that I’m gay and I need to come out to everyone. It’s distressing and I don’t feel like myself anymore

Why does this always happen. Every single time. I wanted to watch American psycho for halloween but I didn’t cause my dad said oh it’s disturbing but isn’t it supposed to be?!! Cause it’s a goddamn horror movie?! Now I feel bad for wanting to watch it even though I’m 18!!! And I’ve always been allowed to watch horror movies. But then again people and ocd have to go and ruin it for me. So should I ignore it and still watch it cause people say it’s really good.

Atraction, arousal, crushes, I have them all, I didnt had them before the thoughs, but I do now, and it all honesty I don't recognize the false part, the crushes come from memories or thoughs and now I'm starting to believe that maybe I never had a crush on a woman cause these false crushes feel so intense that I honestly have no idea how could they be false but at the same time are so intense that if I always had them like my brain says then how didnt I notice before, same goes for the atractions. So real tired right now.

TW: mentions of S3xu@l @buse Like the title said I had a really horrible dream of my abuser performing oral sex on me. And Inside the dream I kept having the same feelings I had the day he abused me. I had also the same feelings I have when my OCD attacks. The thing is my brain kept trying to switch his imagury of that of a woman (which is way more pleasing) still I remember his face and I woke up with a lot of anxiety and disgust. I honestly hated it I know OCD can affect dreams I just hope this doesn't become recurring... I really don't know what to say anymore. I didn't enjoy it but my OCD keeps trying to say I did. I think this is the worse part of it really.

Any tips on managing suicidal OCD? I think my compulsion is to call 988 when I feel anxious that I might do something, but I’ve never attempted before. I’m happy I’ve never attempted, but I’ve been struggling with this theme for 6 years- it gets exhausting. I also have depression and possibly BPD so trying to decipher whether it’s Suicidal OCD or suicidal ideation is weird. I think when I feel anxious & want to call 988, it’s suicidal OCD but when I feel like I don’t care about anything, shut down, get angry, & don’t want to call 988 is probably when I need to. Weird, huh?

Today we’ll like last night I had a dream and in the dream someone said something to me and it’s triggering my thoughts like reinforcing them. It basically meant I somehow acted on the thoughts. Did I do something in my sleep or something I’m so scared. My thoughts don’t even involve other people so I mean it is possible but how come I don’t remember or anything. Also in the dream someone described something to me by comparing it to a certain food and I’ve never had that food and now I never want to have it because it’s so triggering. It literally was rhe worst thing ever and I was doing fine until that happened. It was so inappropriate and like my actions in the dream were fine I remember in the dream I was walking and then I passed out and woke up and saw this person but what the person did and said in the dream is triggering me. Is this a sign that something is going to happen or something? Why else would I get the dream?

I, like so many others, have had ocd for most of my life. I have had many themes throughout my life. I am a mom and have had harm and pocd as well. For me those have been the most difficult and most painful themes. I have seen many people post on this app and they have had some pretty horrible and disturbing intrusive thoughts or false memories and real events ect. much worse than mine and I have never judged anyone because I know how bad ocd and intrusive thoughts can get. I had someone comment on a post I made recently asking me if I even have ocd insinuating it’s not ocd and i’m a actually just a pedo. That upset me so much because anyone who has experienced pocd knows how horrific and disturbing the intrusive thoughts can get and how opposite of who we really are ocd is. Our ocd already makes us doubt ourselves so to have a fellow sufferer of ocd say something like that can be so damaging. So many people are afraid to seek help or post on apps like this out of fear of being judged so we have to be mindful of what we comment. This person, after reading their bio has never experienced that theme and so they have no idea what it’s like or how bad it can get. I am writing this post because I think we need to be more understanding of those who suffer with themes we haven’t and not be judgmental especially if we don’t know them or their ocd story and what they have been through. I beat my ocd and for years I was ocd free until a recent stressful situation in my life and it came back and has been relentless and worse than ever before. I have had so many kind people give me great support on this app and I give support as much as I can when I see posts of others going through similar things as me. Be kind and think before you comment.

Was looking for lingerie to wear when my boyfriend comes over in a few days, I saw a dress and thought "oh easy access" and then seconds after had a super frustrating and gross thought about POCD.. then convinced myself i actually wasn't thinking about my boyfriend when i saw the dress, and that i was thinking about a child intimately. i feel disgusting, i cannot stop trying to trace back the thought of whether i was thinking about my boyfriend or a child, and i feel so nasty. i'm incredibly stressed, i want to shower and wash my body because that's my compulsion for POCD, but i've showered 6 times already today and i really just want to lay in bed. i feel disgusting though. i know it was only a mental thought, but it makes me feel disgusting physically. i know this is ocd, i know i'm just having ocd, but with POCD it feels real and disgusting. i truly don't know if i was thinking about my boyfriend, i mean the only reason i was shopping for lingerie was to think about what he'd think i'd look good in, and then that thought after seeing the dress happened and now i'm so disturbed. here's how it went down after ruminating way too much scrolled down past a dress, had a bad thought about pocd as i was scrolling back up to it after thinking easy access, and now i'm convinced i wanted to buy that dress after having a POCD thought about it. i REALLY just want to shower and change clothes and feels clean again, but i know that's a compulsion

I overanalyse everything my boyfriend does or says. If he’s joking around and just being playful it really annoys me and triggers me. It makes me anxious because I feel out of control. What if he doesn’t stop being playful when I want to go back to being serious? I don’t know. Maybe this isn’t even ocd! But I love his personality and he is a great person, I just can’t keep obsessing over everything. He does or says something that isn’t quite perfect and my brain starts to overthink and say ‘maybe a good person wouldn’t do that’ or ‘does this mean maybe he’s not good?’ That was so hard to write because he is genuinely such a good person and treats me so well 😩😩 I feel so guilty for having these thoughts. It’s like everything has to fit into a neat little box. If he does something that annoys me, I immediately think we are incompatible and I shouldn’t be with him. I always think I’m lying to myself. I sometimes think what If someone else was looking at my relationship and could see every interaction we had and thought it was bad but I can’t see it and I’m lying to myself. I would feel so stupid. Honestly at this point, I don’t know whether he actually annoys me and that’s a sign we shouldn’t be together or it’s my brain wanting every little thing to be ‘just right.’ But how to tell the difference because I could be easily lying to myself because I like the idea of having someone in my life. I 100% know I love him as a person, I love being with him, we get on very well, it’s just my intrusive thoughts that ruin everything. Or are they intrusive thoughts? Why do some things he does or say trigger me? Surely that must mean things aren’t good? That sounded so ridiculous to write. I’m so confused. I guess I just wanted to write my thoughts out so they made sense, and see if anyone else has felt similar. 🙏🏻

I was wondering if it's okay to talk about something other than OCD if I feel like I'm in a crisis. I'm not sure if the OCD is involved or not or if it's just emotional dysregulation or if it is just severe abuse that I can't break away from and the abuses from my father and I'm 50 years old and from my son and I feel like this is it I feel like I've been pushed to the edge and I can't get better and there's nobody out there. I reach out but nobody reaches back

I'm so scared that by thinking about things I can make them happen. I know that's a central thing in OCD but I googled it and a lot of people actually say that if you think about stuff you can make it happen. I've been processing a lot of trauma and having intrusive thoughts about it and I'm so scared that if I think about people who hurt me it will make them contact me and it's making me feel really paranoid and scared and panic and I'm just so scared that I'm somehow conjuring bad people to come into my life and that I'm going to somehow get sucked back into my past or that I am somehow calling people close to me who could hurt me or that something bad is going to happen to me because my thoughts have been so scary and triggering. I'm also feeling really dissociated and I'm worried that these thoughts are actually me starting to have some sort of a psychotic break or something. Please help I'm so scared.

So, it's 13 years since violent thoughts started plaguing me. I've actually had them since I was 4. But, the ones that turned out to be the worst are the ones towards my kids. It started during the Casey Anthony acquittle. My friends wanted me to go to a show with them and I said I couldn't because I had my son with me. I didn't care at all. I was fine spending the day with him. Then, out of nowhere, my brain said, "you could k*** him." I brushed it off. Then a couple of minutes later I started freaking out as to why I thought that. Then I started playing all of these scenarios in my head. I didn't WANT to hurt him at all, but anytime I looked at something, my brain was saying if you do it you can go. My brain said, "oh, you still have time. You could do it. Then you can go." It was the worst day of my life. I didn't understand why I suddenly started thinking that shit, especially since I was ok hanging out with him. Has anything ever happened to anyone else in a similar fashion? I talk with a NOCD therapist, but I've yet to hear anyone have a theme such as this. It's messing with me.

I read an article on NOCD. It was triggering. In article she mentioned having so-ocd. She mentioned so-ocd often gets misunderstood and that she had internalized homophobia. She also mentioned being ill-informed on her values. This has distressed me so much. It’s made me question what if I don’t have so-ocd. I also did an exposure. I was watching a YouTube video called signs I missed growing up that I was a lesbian. In the video she mentioned being infatuated with her friends that were girls. I felt like when I met a new friend I would obsess over them. Then she mentioned being uncomfortable in lockers rooms when they had to change and I remember feeling uncomfortable. She also mentioned having dreams with girls and liking it. Last night I had a dream that I was having sex with my best friend and that I liked it. I am married and have a 6 month old and have a fear of losing my husband.

My ocd has been so bad the last 2 months I've fallen into depression. Never experienced this feeling before of dread. Every morning I wake up dreading the day. I'm so tired of coming on here and whining I used to be so strong. I'm weaning off effexor too right now but my ocd is stuck on a weird existential theme right now. I keep having thoughts of my brain and how it's weird i have one and idk why it gives me anxiety. Halloween used to be my favorite holiday now I feel nothing. I'm taking my son trick or treating later and I just feel like a bad father

I have this phobia of sleepwalking and doing something bad without me realising. Las night something happened that made me think I could've sleep walked and do something horrible. I woke up at like 4 am wanting to go to pee so I got up normally and before I reached the bathroom I had a bad intrusive thought of doing harm but I just tried to ignore it. After I left the bathroom I went straight to my room and fell asleep almost immediately. However this morning when I woke up my dad asked me why I left the kitchen cabinets open and took out a pack of napkins. I froze and felt my blood turn cold when I heard that because there are knives in those drawers. I told him that maybe he took them out and don't remember but he said he didn't do that and never got up during the night. I asked everyone else that was here last night and they said they didn't do that either. Now i'm here literally shaking, feeling like losing my mind and crying histerically because first thing I thought was that I slept walked after having that intrusive thought and opened the kitchen cabinets to take out a kn*ife to do something horrible. I am absolutely terrified if that happened, I clearly don't remember doing that, I only remember going to the bathroom, peeing and going back to the bedroom right away. This couldn't have hapened right?! I would remember if I had slept walked and did that, right?! I don't have a history of sleep walking in the past, as far as I know. I have no explanation to this incident and I feel like i'm about to have a nervous breakdown and feel like I need to find out what really happened yes or yes or I will not be able to cope. Someone please help?!!