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Hello, my name is Reef. I need help. I have a problem with toenail grooming since April 2017. I consulted a psychiatrist and was prescribed Ativan and Zoloft. The diagnosis was anxiety and OCD. Prior to April 2017, I was alright and normal. I would cut and file my toenails and move on to another task. I stopped the medication because of the side effects that made me sick. I am tormented by images of my toes and toenails non-stop which make me bend over to check them. It is exhausting and I cannot sleep well due to the non-stop nagging images. I consulted four podiatric surgeons to remove all my toenails so I did not have to cut and file them. I believe removal of my toenails would have resolved the problem. The podiatric surgeons declined my request. This condition is debilitating and affects my daily routine. I am existing, not living.

Not looking for reassurance, just venting about how stupid OCD gets. Having a wild time with existential OCD at the moment. It started with me obsessing about what is going on in other people's minds. Not that I want to know what they are thinking, just how they are thinking - what it's like inside a head without OCD, is it quieter? Is that why other people like daydreaming and getting lost in thought? Then all of that philosophising lead me down a bad path and now my OCD is trying really hard to convince me that nothing exists outside my line of sight, the horizon is just an elaborate drawing and behind it is a black void. Obviously I know that's just ridiculous but it's hard not to feel like I'm losing my mind when I know that there is a world beyond my current line of sight but my OCD brain is trying it's hardest to convince me that there's not. Usually when existential obsessions come up it's because I'm going through a major life event but that's not the case right now so it beats me why this particular brand of obsessions has made an appearance again. Oh well.

I just want to say , one day we’ll all get better and be able to know what’s our ocd vs what’s really is. That day may not be today, tomorrow or next week, but as time progresses I hope we all go back to our normal , happy selves before OCD came into our lives. If anyone needs to talk, I’m here.

Hey everyone, my name is Stephen Smith and I’m the Founder and CEO of NOCD. I also have OCD, which is why I founded the platform. Specifically, I have “intrusive thoughts OCD”- relationship-based, sexual, and religious thoughts that made me at one point question many fundamental elements of my character. Although google searching for answers to my thoughts was my most noticeable compulsion, my compulsions were mainly mental, where I would reassure myself, mentally review past events, pray, and even check my body for different sensations. Since I didn’t suffer with the “standard symptoms”, I ended up getting misdiagnosed 5 times which caused me to get really severe, drop out of school, and become housebound. While housebound, I started searching my thoughts online which led me to realize that I had OCD. Then, when searching for evidence-based OCD treatment, I stumbled upon exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy. Although ERP is extremely effective (about 80% of people with OCD see a significant reduction in symptoms after going through treatment), there was only one therapist in my area who specialized in it. She had a 7 month wait list and charged $250 per session- making the care pretty much inaccessible for me. I got lucky though since my mom, who was desperate at the time to see me get better, found money from a family friend to pay for my treatment. She also called the clinician and begged her to get me off the waitlist. If it wasn’t for her, I probably wouldn’t be here today. After doing ERP with the provider for 12 weeks, I ended up getting better- so much to the point where I was able to go back to school, finish up my football career (I was a college quarterback) and eventually complete my degree. Because I managed the OCD fears by accepting the uncertainty behind them (a core principle behind response prevention), the anxiety over time went away, and the thoughts decreased in frequency as well as in severity (since they didn’t really matter to me anymore). After that happened, I ended up returning back to normal pretty much- feeling as good as I did before my severe OCD onset. That’s when I started pondering the question, “if OCD is so treatable with a good ERP therapist, then why isn’t treatment more accessible to people going through the condition?” It’s a question I’m sure many of you are currently asking or have asked before. Now to the good news....There is no more need to ask that question. Now inside of NOCD, you can do live, face-to-face therapy sessions with a licensed therapist who specializes in treating OCD using exposure and response prevention (ERP). After signing up, all you need to do is open up your phone or laptop and start the session with the ERP therapist. It’s all video-conferencing. It’s the solution that I always wanted when I was going through treatment, so I hope you can find value in it if you are suffering- especially those who are stuck on the waitlist or who live hours from care. Anyways- if you have questions about doing ERP therapy with a NOCD telehealth provider or with another therapist feel free to ask them here. I will definitely give you the pros and cons. Much love!

i have these random moments where i am EXTRA CONVINCED that i am a lesbian. my heart is literally going 100 mph and i feel like i am going to throw up.

im really anxious because im in therapy with a private psychologist but am planning to see a psychiatrist in the public healthcare service soon since i cant afford to see a private one, to see if i should start taking meds. im 24 but i still live with my parents and they are extremely against meds and psychiatrists in general, don't believe in mental health issues but most of all they have no trust in our country's public system and believe all doctors there will be bad doctors. i mentioned to my mom that i'll be going to ask for info tomorrow and she was really skeptical and now im even more anxious. im also scared that they'll reject me because my case isn't severe. i feel horrible im really scared and i have to do all of this alone, i have no irl friends who could come with me or other family members.

So i deleted the app cuz i saw about a girl who lost her hocd and even forgot about it bc she deleted the app and I immediately deleted jt but omg im on my period and i honestly cant, so many thigs have been triggering me and i keep thinkinf about the past i like i litteraly cant stop thinking about how i missed out on life because of this and how im born in this stupid borin cityy where nothing is happening and kids in America are like living the life and here everyone is the same and boring and there everyone had so mych friends and i know it isnt like that for everyone but i just eish i had that. And i wish i could feel christmasvibes and i wish i could feel wintervibes adnd i keep on whining to everybody about how sad this life is and about how i dont feel anything but no ones anderstund which makes perfect sense because i didnt tell anybody shit about whats going on and of course no one will Unferstand and i keep on trying to act like what is happening to me is normal and i keep on being confused like wtf why do i feel like this, is this normal maybe this is just normal to be scared of being gay but it freaking isnt. Idk why im trying to squeeze hocd in a normal box it just inst idk why i keep trying to normalize it so that i can feel okay and normal but it just isnt but theres no on around me who feels like me and it makes me feel alone in this stupid town. I had so many dreams and i wanted to live like it never bothered me thst i lived in a dead town with no teenagers around me because i had freaking big dreams but now that those are gone it bothered me more than ever. What if inwas born in America with big ass school with so kany people and i got to sleep over and party? Than maybe i wouldve never had this because i got to live. I feel so trapped here. But more than ever because im trapped in my own mind that is trapped in this stupid town and i have NO motivation to work hard and ge t out of here because my hocd got me so depressed that i dont even desire to live my dreams anymore. Ughhh i havent been this stressed before and i didnt even start about how ever since hocd i eat badly and i dont excersice but im not gonna start bc im annoying and sorry for this rent..

EMETOPHOBIA TW: I have emetophobia (fear of vomiting) as one of my main OCD themes, and I have a family history of IBS and various digestive issues, which I have as well. Feeling nauseous or having stomachaches is a major trigger for me. But when I get anxious, I feel stomach pain, or nausea. I also often have the physical symptoms of anxiety before I notice mental anxiety- like I will start having stomachaches, clammy hands, faster breathing, etc. and then understand my OCD has been triggered. The IBS and acid reflux mean I have stomachaches and nausea pretty randomly though. So I can never tell if I’m having stomachaches and nausea I because my OCD is triggered, or if my OCD is triggered because of the stomachache and nausea. The treatment for the two is different (I take hydroxizine for OCD/panic attacks and antacids and other drugs for the stomach problems) so the real problem is that if I can’t tell the cause, I don’t know which remedy I need. I just needed to get this off my chest, sorry it’s so long!

Does anyone here with contamination ocd get so triggered and exhausted that you end up trying to avoid your triggers? They said avoidance only strengthens the ocd but it’s truly hard especially when I avoid my triggers my ocd goes down a lot.

I don’t really have many friends and I feel like everyone I know hates me and idk if it’s part of my ocd or just other anxiety or depression but it makes me very sad :(

so in my psych 1101 lecture we are learning about psychological disorders. today my professor openly talked about r*pe, showed videos of someone who has OCD, talked about s**cide, showed photos of lunatic asylums, etc and it was EXTREMELY triggering for me. i felt so mentally contaminated and when we watched the video of the guy with OCD i started wondering if i actually have OCD & couldn’t stop counting in my head/praying & trying to get rid of the guilt i felt. i recognize that these were all obsessions and mental compulsions but class was really distressing today. should i talk to my professor about this? i’m close with her and i feel like she’d get it but idk if it’s the right thing to do. thanks in advance!!!!

Reviews on Prozac for OCD? My psychiatrist said she’s found Prozac works best for OCD but I’m curious what people who have taken it think

Does anyone ever fear that their obsessions will come true? Have they ever come true. I fear that and I don't want that. I guess I feel triggered about it and.I try to figure it out my using my gut feeling but then it sometimes feels right but then it feels wrong and then I stress and stress etc. It just makes me feel upset. For those wondering I guess its ROCD but I've been in a relationship before.

I’ve done a lot of research into ocd but I have never been professionally diagnosed and I want to go to someone but I am so scared of how they would react to my intrusive thoughts that I just couldn’t do it. Yet this means that every time I have a thought I panic and worry that it could be real.

I struggle with self harm. My doctor wondered if my thoughts wanting to self harm may be compulsive. I'm not sure how it differs from the depression in that way. Anyone hear of this or experience it?

I have started feeling like life is a dream. All my childhood, my teenage everything seems like a dream or imagination. I think this is part of my Existential OCD and I hate it.

I found for me recently that going out in public can be difficult. Everything feels contaminated. I don’t want to touch anything or anyone, or have them touch me. I feel constantly uncomfortable. Grocery shopping is one of the worst things because I know how many handlers each product has had, most times ends in crying. My therapist only word of is advice is to get over it.

Does this sound like something I should disregard as ocd? I really struggle with this it’s debilitating I’m scared my conjunctivitis months ago was caused by an std, but I didn’t know I had one in my eye until it turned up. I now have an eye lump in the same eye as the conjunctivitis (it appeared as the conjunctivitis went) so I keep thinking is an std as you legitimately can get them in your eyes. I’ve always had negative STD tests, but my main worry is: “What if I had one in my eye all this time? Maybe I was lucky and didn’t catch one vaginally anally or orally but I was unlucky and did have it in my eye? If I don’t wash my hands every time I touch my face or especially my eye, j could infect myself and my partner and he will wonder where it came from. He will obviously think I cheated, and he will leave me. My life will be ruined.” Everyone says I wouldn’t have it in my eye without it being in my vagina etc first but I can’t help but think “yeah but what if I did though?” Yesterday I tried to resist hand washing before using the toilet as ERP. BIG MISTAKE. I’ve been a wreck since yesterday thinking I infected myself via the toilet paper I touched after scratching near my eye, and now I need to wait a few weeks and get tested again. Can someone please offer some advice? Thanks

With ERP, they tell you to sit with anxiety, delay compulsions. I’ve been doing this for some time often seeing a bad trigger at 9am, keeping myself soooo busy all day, delaying compulsions and ignoring the issue but come 6pm when I’m free it comes back stronger than ever and I find the only solution is to do a ton of compulsions. While the anxiety went away while I was ignoring it, at the end of the day it comes back sooo much more stronger. Does anyone see this when it relates to contamination or other erp topics? Thanks.