- Date posted
- 4w
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working to conquer OCD
Trying my best to stop ruminating and practice acceptance and the possibility and not possibility of things being real. How many times am I going to have to tell myself the exact same thing
i’ve graduated and it just seems terrifying now because my pocd is flaring up again and i’m terrified of myself , i was planning to become a teacher but i just find disgust in even applying and I want to avoid children I have had these recent thing where i have intrusive thoughts and im scared to look at children because im scared i might look at their intimate areas and it’s killing me because i avoid looking at children or even have conversations with them because im scared of what my ocd does. Even when i try to conquer my fear of looking at children and just letting the fear sit, my OCD convinces me that i do look at them in a weird sexual way and I feel like ripping myself into shreds even saying that.
Is this just me or when you come across Christian shorts on tik tok or YouTube do you feel obligated to watch them. I feel like if I don't watch them then I am sinning. But most of these videos are just repeating the same thing. Idk if this is just me but I just feel like I have to watch them because it's would be worse to not watch them than to break a commandment.
I did the deed yesterday for girlfriends day and after I finished we felt a little emotional to the point we almost cried and telling my girlfriend that I love her so much and then I said I’m scared of losing her and I wanna be with her forever. And then I started getting scared like what if I don’t like her actually or I don’t love her for real after this and I started panicking and got scared and had anxiety for a bit. Then in the shower after she went home and I told her I would give an arm and a leg for real to be in love with her if I’m not and I felt like crying again after typing all that stuff like that because I wanna be in love with her so bad and I don’t wanna have to leave her
i'm suffering so much, i don't know if this is only OCD but i can'f do this. i'mm to frustrated to even type or do anything so ignroe the awful spelling. i'm so sick of this, i keep having such extreme urge in my hands to move, also in my arms & legs. it's a stmptom of medicatuon that i had but i had it before & still jow it keeps getting worse. every sibgle thought intrusive or not keeps yelling at me, i have no rest, i can't rest. i can physically feel every single thought, i want to crawl out of my body. i have the urge to touch everything , i cant do this sorry im feeling so fucking awful. i feel weird. pleadhelpme i already spoke about this with someone & i tried to test some things out but its still just so extreme. i cant do anything at the moment jot even lay down, half if this is OCD half is bot i dont even care i keep attemtping anythunv to make it go away
Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship..
I hate each and every one of them. They're money hungry people who gatekeep the mental health I need all because I'm unemployed. I can't function because these idiots charge like $200 each session. They skimp when it comes to the sliding scale. It's all about profit to them. I'm right here dealing with an OCD loop that has been lasting like 3 days and there is no way to stop it because I've been priced out.
So I haven’t been on this app in a while. But I just want advice on how to overcome this. I’m now 18 and I’ve been trying out dating apps. I’m not gonna lie I’m kinda picky when it comes to dating only because I plan on dating to marry…so I take it a bit more seriously. But for some reason it’s so hard to click with people on these dating apps. So my friend was helping me through this dating apps process. I told her that I wasn’t interested in this guy I was texting anymore because of the way he was responding to my messages. And she says maybe you’re gay…this is honestly the sixth time (I’m definitely over exaggeration but this isn’t the first time someone had said this to me) someone has ask/said this. Every time someone says this it literally sends me down this spiral of are they seeing something I’m not seeing. Despite never having a crush on a girl my mind goes down this loop of overthinking. And when I say I don’t want that lifestyle or I don’t really find pleasure in being apart of the lgbtq community my mind is like in denial. I just wanted to have a fun teenage dating experience and now every time I open the app I always think what if I really am gay and I’m just in denial…or what if the reason why I’m not connecting with anyone is because I’m really into girls. Since i’m also religious, my mom wants to go what you’re denying who we are because of your religion. And I tried to reassure myself by saying I would know if that was the case like I would feel deep down who I’m truly attracted to and know that I’m trying to cover it up by dating men. This whole thing is so mentally taxing because I was going through this all throughout my senior year of high school and I’m not going into my freshman year of college so. Like I literally felt so much anxiety next to one of my classmates who was gay and a masculine presenting. I feel like if I would’ve told this to anyone, they’d say of course you’re in denial. But ig reply if you can relate
Where it's like "help the poor, oppressed, marginalized or youre a bad person" but also "don't help them too much cause that's saviorism" but also "don't talk about how you help because that's virtue signaling ," but also "silence is complicit speak out!" Like how do we know if we are doing the morally right thing?
hiiii everyone I’m new to this app :) I’m not sure if anything in here is a trigger for others so I just put a trigger warning js in case 😭 Sooo I’m actually not medically diagnosed with ocd, but I’ve had a very very strong feeling that I do for a few years but I haven’t told anyone abt it, bc i feel like it will sound like I’m trying to fake a mental illness for attention or something. Also, I know it’s bad to self diagnose, but my symptoms just sound a lot like ocddddd ans I want to go into therapy and get diagnosed or something bc I’m pretty sure I have ocd and even if I dont, I know what im experiencing is not really normal 😭 Some of my symptoms: Having like very sexually or violent disturbing images or thoughts pop up in my head that won’t go away and I have to like (this is so hard to explain) block it out in my mind over and over Having to repeat things and count things over and over for example I ALWAYS like I mean ALWAYSSSS. have to repeat “thank you God for today please keep us all safe and healthy” in my head especially when I’m anxious. And I don’t have to repeat it just in my mind either I have to like mouth it outttt. It’s so annoyingggg 🥲 My “magic” numbers are 3 and 10 bc I have 3 sisters and 10 is just the perfect number like it’s so equal. So basically I have to do things three times and if I count over three by accident or even think of it I have to count up until 10 and if the same thing happens I have to keep going until I reach 30 NOT 20 bc that means that bc there’s a 2 in the number one of my sisters will die 🥲 And if I don’t do any of these stuff that my brain tells me to do, you know that feeling when you have a huge itch and it’s itching super bad but you can’t scratch it?? It feels exactly like thatttt and I think that if I don’t do it smth bad will happen even though I know it won’t but like just in case I guess?? 😭😭 When I decide to try to go against these stuff it makes me super super anxious and sometimes, I have random like “attacks” where just nothing is perfect or just right but I can’t fix any of it no matter how many times I count, repeat, or cross it out in my mind, I get so much anxiety and it’s the WORSTTT. I’m not asking for a random person to diagnose me instead of a professional, but I just need advice. Thank you guys 💗 (edited)
I don't even know why this suddenly started upsetting me when I've been doing it for months, but it's triggering my OCD so badly now. I feel like crying. I do creative writing and it's my haven, my safe place, my favorite thing to do. I write fanfictions and write about things that are important to me and it's helped so much. For a few months, I've been using DeepSeek AI to help give me feedback. I show my work every 1000 words in and then it gives me bullet points that I'll show a screenshot for. After it gives it critiques, I go back and manually fix everything; edit sentences, add more pacing, remove stuff when I feel like it was going on too long, etc. It helped a lot with seeing mistakes I didn't notice before, but my writing wouldn't change that much with or without it since I just use it for help proofreading when I'm done with a large chunk and just need to edit. For whatever reason, I feel this horrendous guilt for using this tool-- like I'm cheating or not a real writer. It feels terrible because I write everything myself and it gives feedback like a friend or teacher, but I feel so terrible. I think it's because a lot of people on Tik Tok or social media would judge me, even though my online friends love my writing and think that I'm overthinking this a lot. I can't write without feeling guilty or like I need to confess the whole process so people know that I write everything myself and I'm not using it to write anything for me. I'm scared people will assume I'm lying. I never worried about this before I started seeing so much stuff on social media. I just want my favorite hobby back :( (note: the story was about a boyfriend comforting his trans boyfriend through his period)
My checking ocd has gotten worse, I'm wasting a lot of time on unnecessary checking. It's left me with guilt,regret,resentment.. I can't be productive ,can't even focus on the things I love and desperately want to get better at.
I still do not have an OFFICIAL diagnosis (I dont have the means to do so) but given my symptoms, past and present in my life hugely suggest OCD is what I am dealing with. I cannot be 100 percent certain but after searching for answers and researching for a long time now, I am fairly certain and confident this is what I am struggling with. Given this step forward, I am making more effort into giving up compulsions. at the current moment I believe to be dealing with ROCD, as I have been having several intrusive thoughts that conflict with my relationship. For starters, recently over the past month or 2, I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts like not being over my ex, being attracted to someone else, losing feelings for my partner and not being in love, etc. I can consciously identify that I dont believe these thoughts to be true but it causes me so much distress and anxiety. It gets extremely unbearable some days, and I have leaned into 2 main compulsions. I have relied on thought checking and googling as my source of relief. At first the googling was genuinely to start finding answers; hence why I have made some of the discoveries I have about OCD including this site. But it developed into every time I was anxious, I would whip my phone out and start googling strictly to find an answer that would reassure me or calm me down. As for thought checking, it acted as a way to reaffirm my love for my girlfriend in my head when I have had the thoughts that collide with my relationship and how I feel about my girlfriend. It worked at first but developed into a compulsion where every time a bad thought got me worked up id either do my normal googling or Id think about that in my head to calm myself down. Over time these compulsions have gotten less and less affective and now when I do them it only gets me more anxious and desperate for reassurance (strengthening the cycle or whatever it is lol). I did some more research and finally have accepted the very real fact that I am going to have to sit in heavy anxiety and not give into compulsions for a while in order to treat this. I have to sit in the thoughts that make me feel all this hightened anxiety and distress without giving into compulsion. to be honest I am scared, the thoughts are more rampant than ever, but I am ready to commit to this. I dont think I am gonna be able to go cold turkey on my compulsions so I am ready for the reality I might relapse on the compulsions sometimes, But am gonna keep going until I can break these shackles OCD has on my life right now. I wanna ask, what is everyones methods they use to avoid giving into compulsion when the thoughts get loud? any advice is welcome :)
It use to be so much worse but I notice I over share so bad, some examples are like whenever I’m in the store and I buy some random things and I’m checking out I always try to sneak in a reason for the stuff I’m buying so the cashier doesn’t think I’m weird even tho it’s probably regular stuff. Or if I think I said something wrong to someone I try to find a way to add in something to say to ensure they heard me correct. Most times this has worked other times it’s just me overthinking it. It’s so silly but annoying sometimes. I always over share things in case someone thinks I’m weird or something. Sometimes I even do it on here, if I think my post is confusing or someone could take it out of context, I’ll say something in the comments in case someone thinks I’m strange. It’s hard to kinda just let people think whatever, but my ocd seems to obsess a lot over what others are thinking. It sucks. I always have to know what they’re thinking and if I can’t I’ll try to get them to not think that way but I can’t help what anyone’s thinking about me.
so my dad is Jewish and my mom is Christian. I used to go to Hebrew school when I was younger, but recently I started going to church and becoming a Christian and turning to Jesus and when I recently got diagnosed with OCD a couple months ago I had really really bad religious OCD. I had very disrespectful thoughts about Jesusand God, but mainly Jesus. and I had very disturbing thoughts about Jesus that made me avoid a lot of things, but I know that’s making the OCD worse. I’m doing erp currently my religious OCD has honestly gone away. I’ve dealt with it. I am managing it but ever since I’ve had religious OCD and had disturbing and disrespectful thoughts about God in Jesus mainly Jesus, I’ve felt a awkward distance between me, God and Jesus and it just feels like I’m going to hell and they don’t love me anymore and I haven’t felt the same presence from God ever since I’ve had religious OCD and I’ve had some situations that I felt like I blasphemy the Holy Spirit and I committed blasphemy and I just feel like God really doesn’t love me anymore and I’m done for i’ve kind of been numb to it so it’s not really bothering me, but I want a better relationship with God and Jesus it just feels like they don’t love me anymore. Has anyone else gone through this? and I’ve had situations where I felt like I was very disrespectful and mocked God and Jesus, but mainly Jesus. And i freaked out for days didn’t feel like myself repented multiple times pretty sure this is just religious OCD but seriously I have not felt the same with my relationship with God and Jesus. OCD has really really affected my life and it sucks. I’m going through Harm OCD right now. So religious OCD has kinda gone away but I just want a better relationship with God and Jesus sorry this text is so long. Has anyone else gone through this?
I honestly don’t try to be up here a lot because it’s become a compulsion of mine. But I wanted to come up here because honestly I’m just so tired. I’ve seen so many disheartening comments about the color of my skin on TikTok like almost in every comment section regarding black people doing a crime. It’s to the point my people have started doing the same thing because of so many comments we get about our skin color on the daily. It’s to the point so many creators are getting exposed for being racist like just the other day Joey was caught being racist I honestly liked his content. Even other races don’t like us and of course there’s the trump supporters I really can’t be friends with people like that honestly and truly because they voted against my rights. But it’s to the point I have to think in the back of my head everytime I want to defend a white person or show support or even friend one it’s like I have to think do they even like you ? It brings me genuine tears that I have to think like this and I can’t be that little girl anymore that would be friends with everyone even then my white friends would tell me about their parents not wanting them to date black people but I was a kid so I wasn’t even listening Frl it’s all just sad man maybe in the next life it all won’t be so complicated.
I really need help rn but I feel like a horrible person. For context: I am on my period right now, 2 hours of sleep last night because cramps were so bad, haven't eaten until now and it's 7pm, had to work all day, so it's kinda just a perfect storm. On top of that my ROCD has lots to latch onto: 1) Me and my bf of almost 2 years just renewed our lease for another year and that just is obviously triggering for ROCD. 2) Somehow the biggest trigger is the fact that he shaved his beard last night, and he often wears a thick beard and when he shaves it's like he shaves 10 years off his face and I feel like I'm dating a teenager. My ROCD is really latching onto this and I'm struggling to feel attracted to him and that's opening a whole Pandora's box of ROCD fixations for me and I HATE that my brain blows up such a tiny thing into the end of the world. On top of that, I'm feeling the INCREDIBLY STRONG URGE to confess (which is a compulsion) to him that I'm having these thoughts but I know that would only give me temporary relief and would make him feel deeply insecure about himself for no good reason. I hate myself and I feel like he loves me unconditionally regardless of how I look and I'm just being so nitpicky and shallow.
So a few months ago a suffered with a really bad panic attack (I didn’t know what it was at the time) and my anxiety has never been the same since. It’s almost like I had to relearn living life with this new anxiety. I have had to force myself into uncomfy situations to remind myself that this will not over come me. It seems that my anxiety stems from being in a place I’m not familiar with or have this feeling that I may be stuck and can’t get out back to a place where my body feels at ease. I wanted to expose myself to a very uncomfortable situation to prove that I will be ok. So I took myself and 15 year old brother on a 3 day long trip to 2 major cities NYC and Philly. I did have some small moments where I felt heart palpitations or that I couldn’t relax (mainly driving into these cities/ being stuck in traffic is what spiked it) But over all I’m feeling really happy with how I managed the trip. I think I’m just mourning the person I was before this anxiety. A few years ago I would’ve never felt that kind of anxiety on the trip. Maybe leading up to it. But I’m hoping the more I continue to force myself out of this bubble that anxiety wants to put me in, I will begin to regain the ability to be away from home and relax again.
When did you get diagnosed and what was the reason you knew that wasn't,,normal,, behavior and how did you handle the diagnosed and felt after you got it? I got diagnosed with I think 12/13? And it's bcuz I would arrange tables and my mum found it annoying. But for me the diagnosed was somehow relieving bcuz I knew I wasn't a freak ,but on the other hand I was sad getting the diagnosed bcuz it was written on paper that I am mentally ill
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