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I'm going through a break up and as much as I don't wanna text him or call him, my mind is stuck on he isn't safe or something happened to him and it gives me immense anxiety until I call him idk what to do

Hey, I really need your honest opinion. I have been diagnosed with OCD and I also suspect that I struggle with Relationship OCD (ROCD) or obsessive jealousy. I often get completely stuck on certain situations – and right now it’s happening again. Situation 1 – Supermarket: A few days ago, we were at the supermarket and parked right in front of the entrance. At that moment, a young woman came out of the store. My boyfriend looked at her – for me, that’s “looking at someone.” For him, it’s not. He said: “I only looked in that direction. I didn’t look at her.” “I don’t even remember what she looked like.” When I first explained to him what “looking” means for me – for example, if our eyes meet, I already consider that “looking” – he still kept saying, “I didn’t look at her For him, “looking” means consciously focusing on someone with intention. For me, it’s already “looking” if our eyes meet or I notice him glancing at someone, regardless of intention. Later, when we discussed it more calmly, he said he “saw” her but didn’t “look” at her in his sense of the word. For him, this was consistent – but for me, this change in wording feels like an inconsistency. My mind latches onto it and keeps asking: if he really meant “I saw her,” why didn’t he say that from the beginning? Situation 2 – Car: In another situation, a woman with a suitcase was getting into a car in front of us. In my opinion, my boyfriend looked at the car and the woman a bit longer before she got in (not long, but longer). Of course, this could have simply been because there was movement and she was putting the suitcase into the car. Later, I asked him if there was a reason why he looked at the car a bit longer. He said: “No, there was no reason.” My thoughts afterwards: Even though we talked about both situations, my brain keeps scanning everything afterwards: • Was it really like that? • Was his first statement different from the second? • Was it really “not looking” in his sense – or “looking” in mine? • Why did he look at the woman a bit longer before she got in? • Why did he look at the car longer if there was no reason? • Is he lying to me because he said it differently at the beginning than later when we talked more calmly? Situation 3 – Other recent triggers: Yesterday, my boyfriend said to me: “If you know that I didn’t look at her with any intention, why would you even bring it up?” This made my brain spiral again, because I thought: Why would he say that if he says he didn’t look at her at all? During an argument, he also said that when we talk about topics like this, “it’s basically obvious that we’ll end up fighting.” Somehow, this also made me overthink what exactly he meant by that and if there was something hidden behind it. Another example: he says he doesn’t look at other women, but recently he ran into his best friend’s ex-girlfriend. He told me that she “looked at him in a weird way.” Later, it turned out that she had actually smiled at him. When I asked about this, he said that by “weird” he meant that she is a bad person in his opinion, and therefore her smile felt strange to him. But my mind still keeps going over why he didn’t just say “she smiled” in the first place. back to situation 1 and 2: I personally remember the looks and interpret them as “looking” – and that’s exactly what I can’t let go of. I notice that I constantly check for inconsistencies, almost obsessively – and even though we have talked about it, I can’t stop analyzing. I sit here with this inner restlessness and have the strong urge to bring it up again. But I know it wouldn’t help – it would only calm me down temporarily, and then the cycle would start again. Despite his explanations, I still internally doubt his honesty, even though I know there’s actually no objective reason to. It almost feels dangerous to me not to bring it up. I feel like I have to clarify if he was “really honest” – even if, objectively, there’s no reason to doubt it. I know my partner loves me and is honest i hope so. and yet I’m sitting here feeling like I can’t stand it if I don’t talk about it again. I’m tired. I just want clarity – but i don’t get the feeling of “now it’s finally settled. My question: Does this sound like OCD / ROCD / obsessive jealousy to you? Or could it actually just be normal jealousy? I honestly feel like my brain is destroying me over this. Thank you so much if you can give me your thoughts.

Tw: piss Is it just me or do other people have this? I first of all have a pretty small bladder so I already have to go more often. I also over hydrate because I cannot stand chapped lips/dry throat. But it's starting to be a really problem because I will go and then when I'm done I will suddenly think "what if I didn't get all of it out?" And then it will SERIOUSLY feel like I have to piss again. This happens ALL THE TIME I go like at least once an hour. Even if I just get the slightest feeling I have to piss I go immediately because I'm so paranoid I'm gonna piss myself. And I cannot stand the feeling of having to go even for a little bit. I'm starting to think maybe I'm manifesting the feeling of having to go. But that's crazy because it feels so real.

Hiiii, I’m Sara 💖 and I have Severe OCD 🧠, Severe Excoriation Disorder ✋, ADHD ⚡, GAD 😰, and Major Depressive Disorder 🌧️. I love using emojis if you haven’t noticed lol. To keep this as straightforward as possible I want to focus on the OCD and dermatillomania part today. I hope this can help some people 💬 and maybe give others a better understanding of what it’s like to live with these two issues! ☺️ I have always struggled with skin picking, especially on my face 😔, and it has made my acne worse and caused scarring. 🤕 I did not realize until my therapist told me that it can be connected to OCD. Sometimes I do not even notice I am doing it, and other times I am aware but cannot stop. 😓 For me, the OCD side is often tied to perfectionism or needing that just right feeling. 🫠 From thoroughly washing my face and hands, overusing or meticulously applying products to make sure the “ritual” is done perfectly takes both time and money. To having picking episodes which causes scars to heal slower⏳ and to also leave me with a “pepperoni face” 🍕 from all the red and raw wounds or with widespread hyperpigmentation that lingers for months. Oof 😅 ERP IS A LIFE SAVER!!! 🛟 Addressing that OCD pattern is a big part of ERP, Exposure and Response Prevention 🚪. ERP helps you face the discomfort without picking or fixing, so over time your brain learns the urge does not need to be acted on. 😤 Behold~ another technique, HRT! Habit Reversal Training can still be part of treatment, but timing matters ⏰. If OCD is the main driver, starting HRT too early, especially if it leans on avoiding triggers, can unintentionally strengthen the OCD cycle 🔄. That is why ERP often comes first, and HRT is added later once the compulsion has weakened. 🤗 Skincare time! Oooo la la la 🤭 For wound care 🩹, I keep it simple. When the skin is still open, I use a gentle cleanser 🫧, a moisturizer 💧, and Aquaphor directly on the wound, then keep it covered to protect it from bacteria 🦠 and UV exposure 🌞. Once the wound has closed and turned pink 🌸, I use a gentle cleanser, a moisturizer, a scar cream, and SPF daily to prevent discoloration and help the scar fade. Fidget toys 🪀 do not work for everyone (Ik people who love it 😍), but ERP paired with steady skin care has made the biggest difference for me ✨. If possible, I recommend seeing a dermatologist 🩺 to help heal your skin and give you tools for long term care, and ask directly if they understand skin picking and OCD and will keep that diagnosis in mind while treating you. Progress is absolutely not linear 📉📈. You will have times when you pick or have an episode, even when your skin has been looking great. 😥 That does not mean failure ❌. In OCD, compulsions are rewarded in the moment because anxiety drops after you do them, so the brain learns that the behavior works 🤥. ERP builds new learning that competes with the old habit rather than erasing it, which means stress, hormones, sleep loss, or strong cues can still light up the old pathway at times ⚡. The goal of therapy and strategies is not to create a life with zero urges 🚫, but to help you navigate 🧭 life with OCD by reducing how often urges show up, how intense they feel, and how quickly you recover when they happen. Most important part EVERR 😮‍💨🥰 The most important part of this process is practicing self compassion 💕 and remembering that no one is perfect 🌼. Every lapse is information you can use for the next step forward! 🫂 Thanks for listening to my Ted talk! 😄 (edited)

Hiiii, I’m Sara 💖 and I have Severe OCD 🧠, Severe Excoriation Disorder ✋, ADHD ⚡, GAD 😰, and Major Depressive Disorder 🌧️. I love using emojis if you haven’t noticed lol. To keep this as straightforward as possible I want to focus on the OCD and dermatillomania part today. I hope this can help some people 💬 and maybe give others a better understanding of what it’s like to live with these two issues! ☺️ I have always struggled with skin picking, especially on my face 😔, and it has made my acne worse and caused scarring. 🤕 I did not realize until my therapist told me that it can be connected to OCD. Sometimes I do not even notice I am doing it, and other times I am aware but cannot stop. 😓 For me, the OCD side is often tied to perfectionism or needing that just right feeling. 🫠 From thoroughly washing my face and hands, overusing or meticulously applying products to make sure the “ritual” is done perfectly takes both time and money. To having picking episodes which causes scars to heal slower⏳ and to also leave me with a “pepperoni face” 🍕 from all the red and raw wounds or with widespread hyperpigmentation that lingers for months. Oof 😅 ERP IS A LIFE SAVER!!! 🛟 Addressing that OCD pattern is a big part of ERP, Exposure and Response Prevention 🚪. ERP helps you face the discomfort without picking or fixing, so over time your brain learns the urge does not need to be acted on. 😤 Behold~ another technique, HRT! Habit Reversal Training can still be part of treatment, but timing matters ⏰. If OCD is the main driver, starting HRT too early, especially if it leans on avoiding triggers, can unintentionally strengthen the OCD cycle 🔄. That is why ERP often comes first, and HRT is added later once the compulsion has weakened. 🤗 Skincare time! Oooo la la la 🤭 For wound care 🩹, I keep it simple. When the skin is still open, I use a gentle cleanser 🫧, a moisturizer 💧, and Aquaphor directly on the wound, then keep it covered to protect it from bacteria 🦠 and UV exposure 🌞. Once the wound has closed and turned pink 🌸, I use a gentle cleanser, a moisturizer, a scar cream, and SPF daily to prevent discoloration and help the scar fade. Fidget toys 🪀 do not work for everyone (Ik people who love it 😍), but ERP paired with steady skin care has made the biggest difference for me ✨. If possible, I recommend seeing a dermatologist 🩺 to help heal your skin and give you tools for long term care, and ask directly if they understand skin picking and OCD and will keep that diagnosis in mind while treating you. Progress is absolutely not linear 📉📈. You will have times when you pick or have an episode, even when your skin has been looking great. 😥 That does not mean failure ❌. In OCD, compulsions are rewarded in the moment because anxiety drops after you do them, so the brain learns that the behavior works 🤥. ERP builds new learning that competes with the old habit rather than erasing it, which means stress, hormones, sleep loss, or strong cues can still light up the old pathway at times ⚡. The goal of therapy and strategies is not to create a life with zero urges 🚫, but to help you navigate 🧭 life with OCD by reducing how often urges show up, how intense they feel, and how quickly you recover when they happen. Most important part EVERR 😮‍💨🥰 The most important part of this process is practicing self compassion 💕 and remembering that no one is perfect 🌼. Every lapse is information you can use for the next step forward! 🫂 Thanks for listening to my Ted talk! 😄 (edited) (edited)

This lady always posts and she’s for sure of God but every few weeks I get in this spiral and I’ve seen so much he’s comin in September. And I know he’s coming soon but I try not to think about it cuz it spirals me or if I’m just ignoring the fact I know he’s coming. The one that says we won’t be here for Christmas makes me sick

Can anyone who has dealt with pocd/harm ocd tell me if it ever gets better? I don’t even trust myself anymore and I’m so tired of it.

I really need help. Almost 3 years ago I was in a discord server with some kids at my school, and it was normal to send funny photos of our face to the group chat. I sent a few silly pictures of me but they are just really embarrassing and stupid. One time, a kid from the group chat sent me a photo I sent and it’s just so bad looking back, and I was really worried about him sending it to others and etc. Later I deleted my account in fear of it being there, even though I couldn’t find it in the group chat at that point. Roughly a year later, I was invited to join this group chat again so I did (2 months ago), but I was looking at the beginning of the groupchat and I saw these photos and it made me start panicking and just worrying if other have these photos saved and if they sent it to other people. It’s been 3 days since I found this and I can’t stop thinking about it, and just worrying because no one can remove these photos without deleting the groupchat, and I know the owner won’t do that. I just keeping thinking about the people in the groupchat seeing these photos and sending it to others because it’s insanely embarrassing to a point where I’m crying thinking about it, and I don’t want others to ever see it. Is there anything I can do to remove these photos?

I relate more to this than OCD which furthers my “OCD doubt”

I feel like the thoughts and feelings are getting stronger, to the point where they feel like they are my own and that I want them and want them to happen. Recently I’ve even had feelings of ‘wanting to be gay’ and that I ‘don’t want to be straight’, or that being with a woman would be nice even though that’s literally the one thing I don’t want otherwise I wouldn’t be constantly thinking about it day after day surely and if I wanted it I would just know? I feel numb and sick and terrified that I’ll just be what I’ve feared all this time. Why does my brain do this. I feel like I’ve lost so much already, I couldn’t concentrate on university work and I’ve had to delay my degree for a year, I’ve lost my purpose, and I feel so ashamed that I can’t tell anyone the real reason for it (I just told everyone the course was too much stress and was causing me anxiety) and it just feels like it’s getting worse to the point that it’s actually coming true, and I’m going to have to leave my boyfriend because I can’t be with him anymore. Why do the thoughts sometimes feel good? Why does it feel like real attraction? Why why why does it feel like DISAPPOINTMENT with the idea of never being with a woman wtf this is literally what I don’t want and never have? Even just writing that out my brain is telling me ‘it is’ and ‘I’m lying’ and I just can’t even believe myself anymore. I’ve tried telling myself the whole maybe maybe not but it just doesn’t work. It feels like if I accept I like woman I’ll want to be with one and leave him. Why does the idea of being with a man not fill me with excitement like it used to why do labels terrify me I genuinely just want to give up I still haven’t even told anyone about this cause I just feel like they won’t understand and that they will just think I’m struggling with my sexuality and the worst thing is I don’t even know what I want anymore cause of the thoughts and feelings I don’t know what to believe what if I am actually just struggling with my sexuality cause nothing feels right anymore

Anyone willing to share there health ocd story with me? I’m really struggling with mine and would like to relate to someone and maybe talk about it. Thanks in advance. I’m new here.

i was scrolling through instagram and an ad suddenly appeared to me. they were all female t**nagers soccer players. but what my eyes saw first were thighs and legs and the worst part is not like i simply recognised impersonally an attractive look, i automatically perceived attractiveness and se&uality of the thighs. why did it happen to me? I dont want it. I don't desire it. So why was i able to find the legs attractive? When I saw the faces I knew I wasnt attracted, but what about the legs? I feel utterly defeated. I'm disgusted and traumatised by the fact that i perceived those legs and thighs attractively. i'm starting to feel like a ****.

Idk how to caption it other than that. My whole life I’ve had an issue with memory hoarding and the upside has been that I have a really vivid memories of my childhood and I get to remember my best days, the main downside has always been I have a lot of childhood trauma too and I remember every detail meticulously like I can relive and reanalyze them which has caused issues in my healing. However as much pain as it is to remember bad things so well it’s always been a bit of a comfort bc at least I know for sure even if other people don’t know or don’t believe. But as of lately I I’ve been forgetting things, whether it’s what time I’m supposed to work (and I have compulsions when checking my work schedule bc I’m always scared of reading it wrong so I usually open it up read it close it and open it up again 2-3 times so I usually KNOW) or what day it is, or just small things that I don’t remember saying or doing that other people swear on. I just have always felt like I know at the very least I know and lately I don’t and I’m so scared of going crazy and losing myself like literally my biggest fear. So I hate this. Today is Friday I was convinced yesterday was Friday and I woke up today for my Saturday shift completely convinced today was Saturday. I hate being wrong and making those small mistakes because it’s terrifying to think about what else I’m remembering wrong, or what else do I not “know” that isn’t actually the truth? I’m just so scared of losing myself mind. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?

Hi everyone. I hope everyone is doing well. I just needed to vent for a second. So I'm divorced as of May 5th and I've been doing well with my ocd. My time of the month is happening and I'm feeling a little sensitive today. I'm in the car with my brother and sister in law and my sister and I don't have the best relationship. We never did really but I guess we are trying to mend that somehow. My brother in law and her asked me to move in with them to help take care of their baby. It's been hard because she is now happily married with a baby on the way which I feel awful for even saying.... because I thought I would be there too. But my life fell apart while his flourished. I'm happy for her but today it's a little hard because she made a comment saying "next time be smart about who you choose to marry". My brother in law said don't say that which was nice but it just reopened old wounds. For context I was emotionally cheated on by my ex husband and he said he would leave me if I wasn't on medication. While he was chatting with other women when we were suppose to be focused on our marriage and trying to fix it, his mom would call me and tell me everything I was doing wrong. I was lied to since the beginning. He lied to me about even him never being unfaithful. He cheated on his last girlfriend too. Didn't find out until after I was married. Now I'm just having a lot of negative self speak in my head about how everything is my fault and I'm starting to have a spike in feeling like God is punishing me. I'm happy with my boyfriend who I love more than anything and believe that my trials are just a test and that I deserve something good to happen. But after that comment... I'm currently tearing up in the car typing this because I just needed to get it off my chest. If you read this far... thank you. Just needed to get it out

I’ve been dealing with rocd for about 9 months now. Off and on I’ve been able to manage it. When it first presented in the beginning my boyfriend and I had just celebrated our one year anniversary and about a month later I started getting random thoughts questioning if I really love him or things telling me I’m incapable of love and then my brain trying to get me to break up with him. I started therapy a little after and she explained rocd to me. Fast forward to now I had been doing decently but we’ve been under a lot of stress lately. He has three kids from his previous marriage who started staying with us full time Monday through Thursday. He lost his job so now we both work for mine doing grocery deliveries. But the day before last I was feeling really anxious and it feels like any anxiety opens the door for intrusive thoughts. So I decided to put a post on a different ocd community forum. And a lot of the times one of my thoughts is what if you don’t really have rocd and you actually want to break up with him. In a persons response to that post they basically said what if you don’t have it and you really do want to break up but what if you do have it and you don’t want to break up. I wasn’t prepared for the first part of that sentence and I went into a full blown panic attack after reading that and my boyfriend had to help bring me out of it. We talked and I messaged my therapist after but haven’t gotten a response. And for the rest of the day I felt drained and like the anxiety was still there and the thoughts were still running around my head. And last night he had fallen asleep and I felt like crying and I came into our bathroom and I looked at myself in the mirror as I was and the thought that came up was look at you crying here this is your sign that you need to break up with him. But then I challenge my mind and ask why why do I need to do that and I can’t think of a single valid reason to break up with him. I love him I do. When I’m not spiraling we do so well and have amazing communication and he cares for me so much. But now I woke up this morning still really anxious and fighting my thoughts. Another thing too is that we have about a 9 year age gap and that had never ever been an issue in my mind. I love that he’s older than I am. Any guy my age was never something I looked for or wanted. Yesterday during the drained and still attacking thoughts I saw this younger guy at the store and then my mind immediately was like well this would be better for you he’s older and that’s why you should break up. I really really hate this and don’t want to feel like this anymore but I don’t want to leave him. He’s the person I see when I look into the future as my husband. But that’s also another thing I struggle with time and that creates more of an anxiety it’s like can I really do this for 20-30 years. But that’s not even just with my relationship I do that with anything that is long term and then I hyper focus on the time duration of everything and thinking I can’t do something for that long.

Hello, so I’ve been struggling really badly with so-ocd where I am worried that I’m not actually straight when that’s what I’ve always thought and wanted to be. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years now, he’s my first boyfriend and I really love him so much and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I remember one time, before I had struggles with so-ocd, I had a thought along the lines of ‘what if I’m missing out on other men by staying with him’ and it didn’t really cause any anxiety but I felt quite guilty for thinking that. But I moved on. However, right now I’m in the depths of so-ocd it started back in March I believe, and today I had a thought along the lines of ‘what if I never get the opportunity to try being with a woman because I’m in a relationship with a man’ and that has really set me off today. I’ve had a meltdown over it, my chest feels heavy and it felt so real like I actually wanted it and I had a feeling of wanting to be gay even though that’s not what I want in life. Why is this happening to me and I feel so horrible for thinking this like it felt like it was me and not the ocd and that I’m just lying to myself and my boyfriend. I’ve tried scrolling on here to see if anyone has had a similar thought or experience and I am aware that this is reassurance seeking but I just need someone to tell me that I’m okay

I’ve been struggling with ocd for a while now and did therapy for like 2 or 3 months but stopped because it wasn’t helping. My main focus right now is my ROCD, I have a boyfriend but we’re on a break right now because I was convinced that I didn’t have feeling for him anymore and I told him that being in a relationship was challenging for me because my mental state has been truly awful. During the summer I didn’t want to talk to anyone or do anything and that included talking to my boyfriend. But also I was doubting our relationship more then ever. I kept thinking that we’re so different, I was thinking about all of the things that I don’t like about him and all of the things we disagree on. And came to the conclusion that I didn’t think I wanted to be with him. And we went on break so I could have space to really figure out what I wanted. Now I’m back at the school we both go to and I want to reach out, but idk if I only want to reach out because I’m back at school where I’ve only been with him here, or because I actually want to get back together. Now my ocd is making me think that maybe I never really loved him. Or that maybe I convinced myself that I didn’t want to be with him because we were long distance and I’ve been googling and asking chatgpt. And basically I don’t know how to distinguish between my real feelings and what’s my OCD. I’m just so confused about what I should do. (Also I feel like my feelings change like the weather and I’m never consistent)

It seems every chance someone has to upset me they take it. It is like people don't pike me for some reason. I think I'm pretty good at being polite and holding my temper so I don't know what it is about me that they don't like. Why do they want to pushme?

Ever since starting ERP, my SO-OCD and general OCD has lowered. This has been great. I just wanted to have somewhere to share my thoughts and ask questions. For anyone else, have you realized that the SO-OCD and other forms of OCD are all rooted in what people have said in the past that I hadn’t processed, and up to this point believed hadn’t affected me. It was also odd because to me, I had never had a problem questioning my sexuality, even labeling myself as queer. However, this fear plagued my thoughts whether or not I decided to identity as straight, lesbian, bisexual, etc. It was so weird to me because it felt so foreign to how I’ve always been. I hated the guilt I felt over possibly being in denial or in the closet, over being homophobic, and all of that would just lead to constant stress and spiral. I felt so bad dating or being with my friends, on the off chance I was using them or going to cross lines. Progress isn’t linear, but I definetly feel so much better shedding the random fear I had of expressing affection towards my friends or of “using guys” to prove I was straight. Most of the time, I find that the stress comes from something really real. Like my past experiences with an old friend that I had or just not liking the guy I was dating and not wanting to lead him on. Being able to discern the OCD thoughts and stress from regular stress has been like a breath of fresh air.

Is anyone else just confused by their ocd all of the time?? I was diagnosed 2 months ago and I feel more confused than ever. I have no idea what’s an intrusive thought, when I’m ruminating or doing mental compulsions or what my “themes” are. I guess I don’t really have intrusive thoughts the way it seems others do and I don’t struggle with themes that are extremely taboo or frightening so I’m always just extremely confused and frustrated. I feel like I just have a lot of intrusive doubt and I think a ton but don’t really know when I’m ruminating or not?? I have comorbid depression and anxiety so I’ve no idea what’s what. Do other people struggle with this?? How do I try to begin to identify these things or know if what I’m doing mentally is a compulsion or not?!