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the NOCD Community

I put in my ADA form today. I can't do my job anymore at the pace I'm at teaching at two schools and not even a lunch break most days. I hit my breaking point last year, but chicken out. I met with two lawyers and got their okay to submit it, so I did. They said if they try to let me go we can fight them. 15 years I've been teaching more than I should per my union contract and now I need to make a change so my family doesn't lose me. Last year I had two suicide attempts in 10 months. Not acceptable for a job to lead me to that kind of stress.

Hey guys, my boyfriend is going on holiday next week for 2 weeks. I’m really worried how I’m going to cope without him around. I’m so scared that he’ll die or I’ll never see him again. Plus, he might not have signal for some of the time so I won’t even be able to see if he’s ok☹️ anyone been though this and have any advice on how to cope? FREAKING OUT

Religious OCD trigger warning, mostly about Christianity : My religious OCD is rampant today. I keep having thoughts like: am I really saved? Do I have any fruit in my life? Do I really believe I’m a sinner? Does questioning this mean I’m really not saved? The pastor said you have to know for sure, but what if I don’t? My biggest problem is that I work in ministry so I’m feeling like a big fraud today. The Bible and all pastors say I should have assurance on salvation, but not with OCD. I’m always terrified that I’ll be one of those people who serves in ministry for years and then realizes they were never saved. I used to pray for salvation every day and I really mean it, but then I question it. It is so hard

The guilt from my OCD is insane, sometimes I truly feel like I’m the worst person and I deserve death

Hi! Firstly thanks to everyone on this group, such a beautiful supportive network. I wrote earlier a few times but basically wanted some advice...so I’m a girl with HOCD so fear of being gay. And my wonderful therapist (who’s helping me with CBT/ ERP) is a female and she’s been amazing with help... and now my OCD is giving me intrusive thoughts about her (HOCD themes). Has anyone else encountered this? Is this normal ? And most importantly, so I persevere? Thanks again!

My counselor says she thinks I have ocd from what she knows so far. It makes me uncomfortable to hear that and I keep thinking about her face when she said it. I have spent hours researching it and I can’t sleep because all I want to do it know more about it. I google search on my phone and read article after article. Is this like an obsession? I don’t really get it. But I feel like I have to be the expert on ocd all of a sudden and I don’t know why.

Reading these posts is heartbreaking, but also eye opening as to how much we’ve allowed fear to torment and control us. I’m curious as to how many on here have had proper treatment. I’m guessing those who are recovered wouldn’t be on here.

POCD is the worst. It’s given me Four false crushes,and if I find a kid adorable, it says I’m attracted to them. I feel so weird. Not only because POCD is gross, but because I had a freak out that I was attracted to the yellow guy from don’t hug me I’m scared, because so thought he was cute ( not in that way), so I went to my friends and asked them if they thought he was cute and they were like “what”. This is really dumb

PLEASE HELP! I need some help/advice right now please! I’ve been sick for the past 4 months with adrenal fatigue, severe hormone imbalance, etc. For the past 2 days I have been having horrible racing thoughts about harming my children! Today I put my hand near my sons neck ( not on his neck) and I screamed out loud “ ILL NEVER HURT YOU”! Then I ran to the back of the house and started smacking myself in the face over and over because that was so terrifying and I never want to hurt him! Please is anyone dealing with this? What on earth does this mean! HELP ME

Hocd is so confusing and scary. I’m scared I wont be happy with a man.

To say I am am mentally and physically exhausted would be the biggest understatement of the century. Sorry in advance for the details. I just need a safe and understanding place to vent. I spent over two hours bathing yesterday. I burnt my skin with liquid nitrogen and then rubbed acid into my wounds as a contamination compulsion. I didn’t eat. I ran until I felt like I was going to drop unconscious. This illness is completely consuming me. I feel like I’m doing everything possible to get better and I’m only spiralling more and more out of control. What is the next step from here? I have mentioned before that inpatient is on the cards. It was considered last week but I thought I could manage at home. I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow and I just don’t know how to communicate just how bad things have gotten. Hope everyone has a wonderful day. You all deserve it. d a i s y

Question about compulsions: Hi guys! I’m brand-new here and just uncovered this world of ROCD. This might sound silly, but I’m trying to figure out if your phone can be a compulsion? I find when I’m triggered or anxious with thoughts, I’ll spend hours cycling through social media, almost like I’m trying to distract myself or find an answer or look for a sign or comfort? It just makes me feel worse because literally hours will go by and I’ve done nothing and feel terrible. When I’m not particularity anxious, I can go hours without checking my phone and it’s no problem. Can this be a compulsion? Or am I just being lazy? Thanks!

I suffer with harm ocd still waiting on mental health referral my doctor had put me on diazepam but that’s only a short course witch I finished on three days ago n I feel that I could hurt someone I have to shut myself away how can I get these thoughts out off my head coz I don’t wanna rely on medication and I don’t no how long the mental health ppl are going to take I just can’t deal with it ??

I’m so scared. My OCD is getting worse and worse and I’m just contributing to it by doing compulsions at every turn. It’s a vicious cycle. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to dig myself out of this hole. I’m terrified of living, but I’m not ready to die. But, I’m even more terrified to push through with treatment. I don’t believe I’m strong enough, at least not right now. And never mind how bad my depression plays into all of this. I’ve expended every resource of support: therapy, medication, family, friends, pastor. I know it’s down to me, but I can’t do this. I feel so sick and that my mind won’t be able to handle it. I keep reading how people with OCD get to the point where they’ve had enough or hit “rock bottom” so to speak and push through. I think I hit “rock bottom” but I feel weaker then ever. Anyone been here and gone through treatment and made it out the other end? How on earth did you do it?

Can a celebrity obsession be linked to OCD? Never thought of it as a symptom, although it doesn’t hurt to ask

For the past 5 months the I have been suffering from adrenal fatigue which has caused me to have low progesterone levels, severe anxiety, panic attacks, morbid thoughts, racing thoughts, insomnia, fear, suicidal thoughts and recently thoughts of hurting my toddlers. After these thoughts of hurting them start I am discussed with myself, hit myself in the face and want to die because I love my children so much and I would never want to hurt them! Can anyone please help me who is in a similar situation!

Honestly the fact that I’m probably actually gay makes TOCD worse. Like, I know in theory that sexuality and gender identity necessarily aren’t connected. But being attracted girls seems mor nmasculine I guess? Plus I keep reading stories of people who first identified as lesbian and then came out as trans men. And my best friend came out as lesbian and then later as nonbinary. I know that doesn’t mean that applies to me but it makes the doubt so much worse and makes it feel more likely I’m trans because I’m (probably) gay or bi. I don’t know if my TOCD would feel as strong if I was straight. Idk it’s just really hard.

I am new to this, and really hope it helps. I have pretty severe driving OCD. It has definitely gotten progressively worse. Every bump in the road I hit, every bicyclist, every-time I have to drive on the highway I constantly worry that I hit someone or caused an accident. Some of the rituals I have been experiencing include driving around the “scene” multiple times, checking my rear view mirror (a lot), checking the local news to see if there were any accidents in the area. I have to have my husband confirm there is no damage on my car... it’s endless. To put it plainly, it is beyond exhausting. It’s also pretty lonely as the majority of people I tell have no clue or just look at me like I have 10 heads. If anyone else goes through this my heart is with you, it’s awful.

Does anyone here watch Chrissie Hodges? she’s a mental health advocate for OCD and specifically talks about pure o!

Ladies, when watching heterosexual porn do you find the girl arousing? I wouldn't have sex with a girl nor date one but the porn thing is what made my hocd relapse about 3 months ago and thats why I stopped watching it....