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Did anyone had weird experiences with their cousins when you were younger? I remember having this weird experience with my F cousing when we were both 13, and it's eating me alive with guilt and I just feel like I shouldn't exist

Was supposed to go back to work today after 2 months on med leave (work in healthcare with contamination ocd) i broke down and i couldn’t do it. I’m trying to see if i can work up the courage to go to work tomorrow :/ i’m very sad i feel so horrible about myself and I love my job but my ocd is so bad i just feel like i can’t do it i feel so weak. does anyone relate?

I feel like my brain doesn’t function properly anymore. I used to be so smart. I had a 4.0 in college, I was president of a student organization, I interned at an ivy league. I genuinely felt smart and motivated to excel. Now I just feel like an idiot. I have no drive. I make small mistakes all the time. I feel like I can’t form a complete sentence without stumbling over my words. Thoughts get all jumbled in my head. It makes me wonder if there’s something seriously wrong with me like a brain tumor or early Alzheimer’s. I used to pride myself on being decently intelligent but now I just feel sad. Anyone relate?

No one warned me that after six years of extreme ocd that when the anxiety settled you’d have backdoor spikes, exhaustion, and numbness like no other.

Ever since I was a child I have had these experiences that I can’t explain. I’ll have these random moments where I’ll be in the vicinity of a person that just causes me discomfort for some unknown reason… like I’ll see their face and it will just cause me anxiety and discomfort? And I’ll just feel like something horrible is going to happen? It’s difficult to explain and I feel like I sound crazy 😅 but does anyone else know what I’m talking about? I’ve never known what it is or where it comes from but I’m now thinking maybe it’s an OCD thing? Extra points if someone knows what subtype 😂 (I’m kidding about the points thing btw)

So I have pretty bad false memory OCD but this feels like it’s real. I got married a few weekends ago and it was so much fun. I drank more than I usually do as it was the only thing keeping me up after an hour of sleep the night before. I don’t remember all the details towards the end but know the general idea of what happened which I’m sad about because again I don’t get like that anymore. I don’t remember exactly when this memory came to mind but I know it wasn’t immediately after. I think maybe a few days to a week? Anyhow I somehow envisioned a memory of me sleeping with my husband’s friend in the bathroom. I’ve NEVER fantasized about this guy before as I barely even knew him. He was TRASHED but I somehow think we snuck into the bathroom real quick and hooked up. My husband and I both confronted trusted friends about this and they both said absolutely not but to me I’m thinking well even if we left for a minute and kissed. Idk it’s bad. Anyhow we were looking at photos from the photographer and there’s one of me hugging his friend and it’s driving me crazy and confirming everything. Like of all 150 people there’s me hugging maybe 2 people and he’s one of them?! I saw this photo after the memory. I am distressed and don’t know how to calm down.

I’ve had Harm OCD for a few months, it was pretty much on set. Lately my intrusive thoughts are like “You want to” or “I want to” and each time, I get anxiety in my stomach and feel like I’m gonna cry or just break down. I don’t know if it’s OCD or not but it’s making me so sad because I’ve NEVER harmed anyone but these thoughts are scaring me and making me feel guilty and like I’m a monster deep inside. Does anyone else have these thoughts or is it really only me?

Im new to this and I know OCD has many themes and majority I can handle. I have been dating my partner for 7 years and it has attached to my relationship of my questioning it. When I go out in public I seem to (without even realizing) I’m checking people out and comparing. I don’t even know if I should call it “checking out” or just looking around and noticing. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Want to know if anyone can relate. Have you ever had someone who minimized how bad you were feeling. You tell them and they reply with “just pray” or “just get up outta bed and start your day and you’ll be fine”. “Just gotta think positive”. For a long time I had that attitude too. Just keep going and I’ll be fine. For the first time I understand what it’s like to do what you can but still be down in the dumps for months. Comments are appreciated.

It’s the start of spring, and that comes with many things. Allergies of course, but headaches? At some point about a week ago, I started to notice a headache, which I believe was coming from the forehead. I assumed it was sinuses. Almost a week has passed, and I notice that I tend to feel these slight sensations that would be full on headaches had they not lasted for less than a second. It might happen when I look over to my side, or just out of nowhere. I assume it’s stress and the ever changing weather, as Buffalo is certainly not known for consistent weather. The problem is that they drive me crazy, which is just because the OCD part of my brain steps in and says “What could it be? Maybe it’s something serious, maybe you’re dying and you don’t even know it.” I’m not looking for reassurance, I’m just venting here. Therapist’s orders want me to not look anything up if it’s trying to calm down OCD thoughts, so I’m really trying to listen to him. Sometimes, it scares me and makes me frustrated that I can’t look it up.

Does anyone else have such vivid dreams you have a hard time realizing you're safe when you wake up? I've always woken up sobbing since I was a child, but it used to be once every couple of years. In the last 2-3 years my husband is having to wake me up from either hyperventilating or physically crying in my dreams multiple times a month. I wake up covered in tears or gasping for air and it takes time to come down from it even once I realize I'm safe and it was just a dream. This is becoming way more frequent and I don't know if its an anxiety thing, OCD thing or just a thing. (I do not have Obstructive Sleep Apnea). This is one thing that really bothers me.

Was supposed to be my 1st day back to work today in over 2 months (I work in a hospital and have contamination OCD) And i didn’t go. I “couldn’t” go i just felt like i can’t do it. i feel so terrible and i feel like i failed God. I did not want to take meds but I’m considering starting medication for my OCD.

firstly i wanna mention that i have OCPD and ADHD as well so maybe others with OCD dont relate to this as much but i have something im really obsessed with and that i love and whenever someone mentions it without being informed about it i actually start going insane and i dont know how to not care about it. its such a simple thing i love mbti and when someone who doesnt know mbti functions talks about it i start getting super frustrated and thinking about that for hours and hours getting nowhere and even if i already told them and informed them i dont feel better. does anyone know how i can stop caring?

Hello! I have been diagnosed with ocd and have struggled with all types of intrusive thoughts. My most common intrusive thoughts are images and “what ifs”. These of course scare me, but I’m way more used to them. One intrusive thought that always catches me by surprise though, is a specific type that feels very real. It’s more of a statement. It’s been plainly and matter of factly “I did this [awful thing]” that I’m sure I didn’t do, but the certainty of this statement in my head makes me doubt. Is my brain admitting to doing this awful thing? Is this an intrusive thought? Does anyone else experience this specific type of intrusive thought? I’d appreciate any response and advice about this, thanks!☺️

I haven’t had the time or means to get a proper diagnosis, but I know i have intrusive thoughts, and I think they’re obsessive? Like I have really bad thanataphobia all of a suddenly like randomly one day I started to obsess over the thought of death, and like afterlife and stuff to the point I’d have a panic attack about literally anything related, and I would have intrusive thoughts about it that would be very intense. It caused me to disassociate for a couple of months. Anyways I’m here looking for support or advice? I just recently got to the point I don’t have the panic attacks, but I still have intrusive thoughts about it. Also I’ve had anxiety about bugs being in my food and drinks to the point I had to throw it away, or bugs being on my skin… anxiety about accidentally harming others. But honestly I feel like I’m making all that up and I’m a big liar for attention, and I feel like I should just delete this but i genuinely want help but I don’t wanna be that person who has like a million different diagnosis. I’ve been diagnosed with BPD depression and anxiety already, and honestly idk if they’re right? Idk if I have compulsions, and I was wondering what compulsive behavior looks or feels like? Maybe I am being overly sensitive or something idk… anything helps… thanks for reading!

Geneology and ancestry has always been a big part of my life, and a foundation of my identity. But it's also been a strange struggle for a long time. Long story short, my family came to the US in the 1890's. All "new stock" immigrants, no "old stock" English-Mayflower-colonist ancestry here. And for some reason, that bothers the living hell out of me. I don't know where to sit-too American for Europe, too European for America. My European ancestry seems close enough to where I could find a sense of identity in it, but it still feels too far back to do so. Would I even want to anyways? In elementary school we had "Geneology Club". I think being a kid who loved history surrounded by other kids who discovered very cool things about their ancestors here in the US really affected me. It's like another kid having a toy that you want...instead the toy is a background, a history, that you can never have. I'm a musician too. All the music I love is uniquely "American", and a lot of the musicians I look up to have deep roots in this country, and I feel like they can connect with this land and the rich tapestry of the nation better and express that through their art. And that goes for anyone else around me that has deep roots here too. I feel inadequate. It's obsessive. It's odd. People never really see where I'm coming from because they see the 1890's as still pretty far back, and that I can proudly call myself "American". But it doesn't feel that way. I've always been a pretty deep and spiritual guy. I don't feel like I cant connect with this land...or the land over in Europe. It all seems foreign. A lot of things seem very foreign to me now. Of course the depression I've been dealing with doesn't help, but this is just such an obsessive problem of mine, and when I learned I had OCD I can see how it might attach itself to this issue too. It's certainly very existential. It's numbing. I feel like I can't create. I can't live. I feel like a ghost floating around in the ether sometimes. And I've always had problems with identity...always. I was usually the shy quiet kid, the one who was a little nerdier. I didn't grow up with any strong cultural connections either; no inspiring family histories...nothing that could connect me to where I am NOW. Sure, maybe a really distant random here-say but that's it. I don't know where to go. I obsessively to geneological research in hopes that maybe, just MAYBE I'll find some connection to where I am now and that I'll feel a little more grounded and whole. But until then, I'm just floating.

I was spiraling these months a lot. I’m actually in waiting list for a psychotherapist so I used so much ChatGPT asking about if I did something bad in the past etc. Obviously replies are often incorrect or ambiguous. Now I had a new obsessions “what if because what I ask to AI a police offer will show up in my house?” Has this ever happened to anyone else?

You bear a weight that remains invisible to others, a subtle pressure within your chest, akin to a living entity learning to breathe in a confined space. You navigate your daily life as if you are made of metal, as if nothing can touch you, as if nothing should. Yet inside, there exists a heart that continues to thump against the confines, persistently demanding to be acknowledged. You convince yourself that this is strength—this suppression, this quietness, this resilience. And perhaps it is, for a time. However, true strength is not about lacking emotions. It does not involve burying tenderness beneath layers of toughness. It is the quiet choice to stay when departing would be simpler. It is waking up with the same pain and opting to move forward regardless. It is allowing the heart within your iron chest to keep beating, even when each pulse feels like it could shatter you. Listen to your heartbeat.. That sound does not signify weakness. It is evidence that something inside you refuses to fade away. Even now, as the days stretch endlessly and the nights resonate louder than your thoughts, you remain. Not unchanged, not without scars, but present. A moment will arrive—not abrupt, not noisy—when the iron starts to yield, when the barriers no longer seem like safety but rather like something poised to open. At first, you may not notice it. It will feel like breath returning to where it once struggled. It will feel like freedom. And the heart you guarded so fiercely will not be diminished by what it has faced. It will be fortified for every instance it continued to beat in the darkness. So keep moving forward. Not because it is simple. Not because you are invulnerable. But because even now, within everything that feels constricted, something in you is still choosing to exist.

so i asked a similar question a few days ago, but i never ended up getting a clear answer and it’s bugging me again. i watched this movie and i can’t remember how long ago it was. in this movie there’s a child actor and i remember thinking he was super adorable, at the time i was somewhere between 3-6 years older than him so i had absolutely no interest in him as far as i can remember. however, years later, i watched another movie where he appeared again only this time as an adult and i remember finding him attractive. i don’t know if this makes me a weirdo for finding this grown up child actor attractive. i once read a book where there was a 5 year age gap between these two people growing up and during that time the older of the pair had zero interest in pursuing the younger person but once they reached adulthood they started gaining romantic interest. that never seemed strange to me since there was no interest during their childhood and it was only after they were both adults that they got together. i tried thinking about my situation through this lens but my brain is telling me that because there’s a possibility that i was 6 years older than the actor when i first saw him in a movie it’s not the same as what happened in the book i read since they only had a 5 year age gap. again, i’d like to reiterate i never liked the kid i just found him as an adult attractive. i’m wondering if this makes me creepy. i no longer find this guy attractive because i feel like it’s inappropriate and my mind made it all weird but i can’t help but feel like i’m a terrible person for ever having found him attractive