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why do I feel like the bad thing I’m dreading will happen if I stop thinking about it

I’ve been struggling with relationship OCD, my Sexual Orientation ocd went away and I’m starting to feel my self more but and lately it’s been difficult to understand and cope with my feelings. I care deeply about my boyfriend. We’ve been together for about three years, and I love the bond we’ve built, the way we can be silly and weird together, his cute smile and adorable laugh, and the comfort I’ve felt being around him. I miss him when we can’t talk or spend time together, and I want us to keep growing together. I’ve pictured a future with him, and I want more closeness, affection, cuddling, kissing, and meaningful conversations. At the same time, my OCD makes me question my feelings. Sometimes I feel close and affectionate toward him, and other times he feels unfamiliar or my emotions seem distant. When that happens, I start trying to figure out what it means. I replay situations in my head, examine my reactions, and try to make myself feel something specific. The more I check, the more confused and overwhelmed I can become .I also have real relationship needs that me and him had talked about . Lately, I’ve been having thoughts about breaking up with him. Sometimes the thought comes with a heavy, sad feeling, and other times it feels strangely convincing, almost as if I’ve already decided to end the relationship. I can imagine breaking up and feel sadness about it, but then the feeling changes or fades, and I start questioning what that means.Sometimes I see my boyfriend and feel close to him, affectionate, or tender toward him. Other times, he feels unfamiliar, or I feel disconnected from my emotions. I might remember how much I miss him, want to be close to him, or imagine our future together, but then I start checking whether those feelings are still there.I’ve noticed that I sometimes replay scenarios in my head, imagine breaking up, or repeat thoughts like “fine, I’ll just break up” to see how I react. I pay attention to whether the thought feels real, whether I feel sad and I’ll start panicking , or the sad truth i whether my emotions seem genuine. Sometimes the scenarios feel so vivid that I become convinced they must mean something. Then I get scared and try to figure everything out. I also struggle with the feeling that I need to defend my relationship or prove that I love my boyfriend. If I don’t feel a strong reaction or can’t access my usual emotions, I start wondering whether that means something has changed. Even when I get temporary relief from understanding something, I can end up analyzing that relief, too.

I’m at a point where it feels like im running from who I really am and feel like I am developing an “interest” in acting on the thoughts or like im open to it. I’ve been having these sexual thoughts and images for about 5 months and I have been crying almost everyday, but now it feels like im just hiding/running from it, even as i type this post my mind is saying “ you are just admit it “. And sometimes i’ll have a thought like “youre not a p or attracted but you wanna do something sexual” (not in those words) its really messed up. I have also had thoughts about how I would like it and how it feels and all this other terrible stuff Im not going to say or go into detail about but I think you get the picture, also a thought like “who cares”. I really just want this all to end Idk who I am anymore 5-6 months ago i never had a thought about doing anything like this. Is it supposed to feel this real? or am I in denial? IDK anymore I really just want it all to stop. It feels like Ive lost all my morals/values and im desensitized to these thoughts I still dont like them but IDK what to do anymore. I just wanna sleep all day everyday because my thoughts are so bad, and I hate to even say this but i dont feel confident in saying i wouldnt do this stuff anymore it feels so real. And my mind constantly tells me to just admit it youre lying even rn, but im not lying this has been hell. Im calm rn because I took some medicine last night but i dont like being calm while having these thoughts.

Hi everyone! I hope this is an appropriate place to ask this. I don’t personally have OCD, but my husband struggles with Pure O OCD, particularly retroactive jealousy, so I would consider myself someone who is OCD-adjacent through a loved one. I’m posting because I’d really appreciate hearing from people who experience this themselves, as well as partners or spouses who have navigated something similar. I’m hoping to better understand what my husband experiences and learn how I can be a more supportive partner during his hardest moments. When my husband experiences a spiral, he can become consumed by intrusive thoughts and questions about my past. I understand that these thoughts can feel incredibly real, distressing, and relentless to someone experiencing them, and I know he isn’t choosing to have intrusive thoughts. We’ve been trying to navigate this together, and I’ve learned that answering repeated questions, providing reassurance, or engaging in the OCD cycle isn’t necessarily helpful. I’ve been trying to avoid feeding the cycle, but I sometimes struggle with what to do instead, especially when things become intense. During some of these episodes, the distress can turn into anger directed at me. I can be criticized, have my character questioned, or hear threats of divorce. Sometimes, things are said about my past that are deeply hurtful. I know he is struggling, but it can be incredibly difficult to be the person he turns to for support while also being the person those feelings are directed toward. I’m trying to learn how to support him without reinforcing the OCD, while also managing my own emotions so I don’t end up breaking down or reacting out of hurt and frustration. Sometimes I end up feeling like I’m the person taking away his peace, even though I know I’m not choosing the thoughts he’s experiencing. For those of you who have Pure O OCD or experience retroactive jealousy: • When you’re in the middle of a spiral, is there anything a partner has said or done that genuinely helped you, without providing reassurance or feeding the OCD? • Is there a particular approach that helps you feel supported without making the intrusive thoughts worse? • For those of you in relationships, what have your partners learned to do that helps during difficult moments? • And for the partners who have been through this, how do you cope when the spiral turns into anger directed at you? How do you remain compassionate without absorbing the hurtful things being said? I’m not expecting my husband to simply switch off his OCD, and I’m not looking for a way to control his thoughts. I love him, and I want to understand his experience better. I’m also trying to learn how to navigate this in a way that is healthy for both of us. I’m genuinely open to hearing different experiences, perspectives, and things that have helped. Thank you to anyone willing to share. ❤️

My dad took out like some papers from his pocket and for a second i saw something blue with white letters now im scared what if its a con*om and he is cheating on my mum cause i know they dont do that anymore

Hi guys young adult here , been struggling with obsessions and compulsions since I was 14 , now Im 20 and I think my old "pal" has come back again. The last 5 days I've been really short tempered for some reason I cant even understand , watching everyone in my sorrounding and this weird head "fatigue" that sometimes shows , but the worst phase so far is when I got the "she is going with another man" thought out of the fricking blue. A little background about my relationship: "Me and my gf have been together for 2 years , since she confessed her love to me and since then we have spent some wonderful time together , we share together almost everything , we been talking and supporting each other through the most difficult times , we barely have any arguments and we make it up in a blink of an eye when it happens , and lately we revealed our relationship to our parents which is going fantastic (fantastic is even an understatement) , her parents love me and my parents love her , and I believe we got a relationship that many people would envy on". So the thoughts and scenarios came out of the blue and felt so real , it became my "gut feeling" (and Im someone that always trusts my gut) and I felt so horrible and angry . The proof that led me to these thoughts ? Almost nothing , I just became hypervigilant on every words she said and whenever the "dots didnt connect" I would get this huge bad feeling and the cycle continues . I would get the compulsion to check on her accounts (we share social media accounts too , maybe some of you guys wont like that). I confessed what I was going through and she felt so bad that I would think such thing , she started swearing on her familys life and start crying to why did I even think that . We both got emotional and we already talked two times about this , she cant stop saying how much she loves me. But I still feel this bad feeling and scenario that "she is seeing another man" which is crazy cause she never had "male friends" even before me (well I was the first one before we got together) but still , my trust for her is severely damaged and I've been trying to heal from this madness , but the million dollar question is.... Is my "old pal" ocd making a comeback with a different theme ? or is it something else going wrong with me?

I have a huge crush on this guy. I thought he was super cute first time we met and we’d always exchange smiles whenever we saw each other. Fast forward to a month of the semester, and he ends up approaching me. We have a great convo and he’s super smiley and cutesy. And that happens a few more times too. We even did a cute gentle handshake before departing ways once ( his hands are sooo soft) The other day I saw him and started a convo. I ended up asking to hangout and he immediately says yes and whips his phone out so I can give him my number. I WAS SO HAPPY. We have briefly texted. I asked him to get froyo through text over 24 hours ago and he hasn’t responded 😭😭 ik people get busy… how can I not let my OCD spiral on this one?? I told myself I refuse to double text. The ball is in his court… but ugh it’s hard not to ruminate

if i am certain that nothing is certain then how come i have certainty about nothing being certain? The emphasis on uncertainty in ocd and always to remain uncertain can backfire and become just as compulsive as chasing certainty if it becomes a new safety seeking compulsion. You can start to be scared with feeling certain itself. Your goal is simple and should simply be to be able to understand, cope and tolerate uncertainty when it presents it self. Feeling Uncertain is apart of life just like feeling certain is apart of life. It is Completely fine to feel and enjoy feeling certain about things as long as you can be ok with feeling uncertain at the same time and be mindful to not turn either into compulsion. Hence why mindfulness is so important along side ERP, you can observe and learn what your mind and body are doing and let things go and just be. Certainty and uncertainty are both feelings and you can’t have one without the other. We also can’t forget about learning to cope and tolerate uncomfortable feelings and emotions. You can’t have good feelings without bad feelings, both are apart of life. Your mind is a paradox. This is why Self compassion is so important and for you to take recovery beyond just breaking your ocd loop. You still need to build a new stronger foundation within yourself. ❤️❤️❤️

We have some problems. I used to have pretty severe jealousy issues. I am currently in therapy because of this, as I want to change in this regard, and I have already made some progress. It is not completely gone, but I handle it much better now and am working through my childhood issues. Now, about her: Even though I really have improved and these situations happen much less frequently now, she still reacts very defensively to situations like this and immediately gets angry. It goes so far that it ends in a huge argument every time, during which I get yelled at. She says she really doesn’t want to treat me this way, but it still happens. Apparently, it is also not okay for me to disagree with her, because I am expected to immediately believe what she says, which she is of course right about. Another issue is that she constantly feels criticized by me. According to her, I either accuse her of something, which I never do intentionally, or I ask a question that is meant as a question rather than an accusation. She also reacts very defensively to that quite quickly, or when I tell her that I would have preferred one thing over another. Apparently, this happens quite often, which is something else I need to work on, because the last thing I want is to criticize her in any way or make her feel as though she is not good enough for me, because that is not the case at all. As already mentioned, I am in therapy and am working on the issues I bring into the relationship in order to take some of the burden off my girlfriend, and of course, I am also doing it for myself. Now, about her part. Her frustration may be justified, but I still find it quite questionable that she loses her temper, yells at me, throws things, or destroys things every time. She says she doesn’t react this way intentionally, which I also believe, but I think that as an adult, you should be able to control yourself. I know that it is my fault because she was never someone who raised her voice at anyone before. Well, maybe I deserve it. During arguments, I often feel as though she sees me as her enemy, especially since I really am not a person who has malicious intentions or someone with whom it is impossible to have a calm, constructive conversation. Couples therapy is out of the question according to her, because she believes relationship problems should not be shared with third parties. I hope I can get my problems under control enough so that she no longer reacts so defensively. I just needed to get this off my chest because I am not feeling very well emotionally.

Hello all! I am having a particularly rough day today but I wanted to ask you all something to keep our minds off of intrusive thoughts and OCD in general. What is something you are skilled at and take pride in? I’ll start. I’m a very avid reader, I enjoy literary classics such as American authors Steinbeck and Vonnegut. However, my absolute favorite author is Dostoyevsky. I also am a self taught musician and play the guitar and bass. Obviously I am also a huge gamer as well. Recently I have been playing Cyberpunk 2077 again. My point being is that I want to know your guys comforts and activities. It’s really important that we keep doing these things. I’ve been in a really rough patch with OCD recently where I have lost the ability to do these things that I love. We need to remember what makes us human and not just OCD.

Would love to hear people’s experience and stories on their journey with HOCD with ‘false’ attraction?

I’ve been trying to put into words what living with R-OCD has felt like for me, especially in a long-term relationship. If you’re in a long-term relationship, please tell me whether you can relate to any of these experiences, and share examples if you feel comfortable. Been with my partner for 8 years, married for 2 (10 in total). For me, it can start with a thought like, What if I married the wrong person? What if I’m not really in love? What if I’m settling, or we’re not compatible? Part of what makes this especially complicated is that I don’t always feel as though I consciously “chose” him. He pursued me, and I wanted to be in a relationship. It also helped that he offered me financial stability. At the same time, he was never really my type, and he doesn’t have what I once thought was the most important trait I would want in a partner: humour. Then I start analyzing everything: whether there’s still a spark, what an interaction meant, and whether a small annoyance or “ick” is proof of something bigger. For some reason, I have a *million* icks at the moment. I can replay old memories and conflicts, second-guess my choices, and imagine whether I’d be happier in another life. Sometimes even ordinary things about my husband—his clothes, the way he talks, or how he sleeps—can suddenly set off that feeling of aversion. Then I panic about what the feeling means and worry about how critical or unkind I’ve been. I can feel calm for a while, then a doubt comes back and I’m pulled into trying to solve the whole relationship right now. I look for reassurance or signs that will finally give me certainty, but the relief doesn’t last. I’ve spoken to married people about this, and they often say something along the lines of, “Sure, he isn’t funny, but he has other traits that a comedic partner might not have.” They’ve also reminded me that I don’t have every one of my needs met by my spouse, and that this is okay because one person isn’t meant to fulfill every need. I can understand that intellectually, but I still go back and forth between my doubts and that perspective. Here’s the thing though: I have quite literally everything I could dream of. If I want it or need it, he’ll make it happen. I am so unbelievably taken care of that i wonder how I got so lucky and that I don’t deserve having such a comfortable life. Even then: I still flip flop so hard. One of the hardest parts is not knowing what to make of it. I know that having OCD doesn’t automatically mean every concern is OCD, and I’m not saying real relationship problems can’t exist. I’m trying to understand the difference between a concern I need to address and a thought loop demanding an answer I may not be able to get with total certainty. One more thing: Another layer that makes this especially complicated for me is having ADHD. I’ve always craved newness, novelty, and stimulation. I can jump from one hobby or interest to another, constantly looking for something that feels exciting and engaging. A ten-year relationship is the longest-lasting thing in my life, which is meaningful, but it can also feel confusing because relationships naturally become familiar and predictable over time. I can’t simply move on to something new whenever the initial excitement fades, and sometimes I wonder whether my restlessness is about the relationship or whether I’m struggling with the normal lack of constant novelty. Some people crave the comfort of an old relationship, but I honestly feel like I’m bored. If you’re in a long-term relationship, can you relate to any of these experiences? Have you struggled with constantly analyzing the relationship, checking your feelings, wondering whether you chose the wrong person, or feeling like every little thing must mean something? If so, please share specific examples of what it has looked like for you. It’s hard feeling like you’re all alone in your feelings.

I think I've got strep throat and ugh :( Not been able to do anything to occupy me 18+ please// Feeling so so guilty for my past, I really wish I never got in the porn rabbitholes I did and I think I've developed some false memories about how often I searched this stuff, my intentions, my fantasies etc. I know rationally I didn't even fantasize about this stuff, and if I did it was in very isolated amounts. I was very dependent on my then-boyfriend at the time and I know he occupied all of my sexual fantasies, but I've convinced myself that this was all I desired and wanted and I was a sick predator. Spinning in my head because I found forums about this stuff too? I think I'd felt guilty about being aroused by this content and would google about it, then found forums of people normalising and enjoying this and I don't think I could really conceptualise WHY it was wrong at that age, I would've been no more than 13-14 years old. I just want to move on. I don't know why I searched or watched that stuff. I watched a ton of stuff, literally every category I think, but I've got tunnel vision about this stuff specifically and I can't shake it. I feel so gross. Unrestricted internet access damaged me so badly, I should've never had access to everything I did but it feels like my situation is so much worse than everyone else here. It was so so easy to find, so I really assumed it wasn't THAT bad.

I can’t sleep. I’m spiraling. I’m doing my best to not seek reassurance through friends, family or the internet anymore, and leave the discussions to therapy only, but I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle. It’s been over two and a half months since a major spiral/reassurance loop, but I still have my daily mental and physical compulsions that pulse through my body like a stress induced poison. My mind is telling me that I know something everyone doesn’t, even though I’ve shared my worries with people hundreds of times and everyone tells me I’m safe and I genuinely have nothing to fear. The problem is my OCD mind doesn’t rest, but I know checking with an AI chat bot that gives inconsistent answers is dangerous, as I’ve already lost so much time to them. I have been on 100mg of Fluvoxamine every evening around 7-8pm since July 10th and I can’t sleep. My med manager prescribed me 25mg of Trazodone, but it’s not helping. Last night I got drunk to suppress the OCD loops. I want to give in and check and find reassurance online, but I know I’ll feel so much worse than I do now. I’ve been unemployed since May. I’m lonely, overweight and so scared; I’m literally crippled by fear. I just want my life back. I requested to reschedule my therapy session to an earlier day this week. I need to fight for my life again. I feel so awful.

Hey! i get super anxious even leaving the house or driving now after a panic attack on the highway a year ago even with i drive with people i’m not really comfortable having a panic attack around i avoid going out or even working and its been a struggle because i was always out working and etc but i also struggle with intrusive thoughts too the point i feel super detached from myself i look in the mirror and don’t recognize myself literally please tell me has anyone gone through this im struggle bad

Just started doing erp and it’s so hard when I’m with my dr and he’s trying to help me stop doing this compulsions and the way he explains how much its ruining my life I get it but erp is so hard and exhusting . Does anyone like do it on there own or only with there dr and how does it work for you thank u so much

TW controversial nsfw. Mentions of taboo. - - - Repost/rephrase. I feel like if I don’t admit this then I’m deceiving everyone that I did nothing wrong. Not trying to make excuses for my choices. I was exposed to explicit content since I was very young, started watching in my mid-teens. I used it as a way to cope with all my stress. It was an on and off addiction, sometimes I’d go months without it, then crash and come back. I’ve seen taboo anime material. Adults roleplaying in certain scenarios. It’s disgusting. I’ve quit watching nsfw material altogether because it was harmful, I’d never want these taboo things IRL, but I’m losing sleep. I’ve been spiraling about whether this is unforgivable or not. It’s getting hard to speak with anyone because I feel like I’m not giving them the agency to cut me out by staying silent. I. feel. so. gross.

How do you tell the difference between a thought and a belief? With OCD, it's said the thoughts are distressing because they go against your beliefs. But it makes me question whether these are thoughts going against my beliefs or if they are beliefs that I don't want? A few weeks ago, I had a horrible bigoted thought regarding my girlfriend upon waking up from a dream. Even though it made me sick with anxiety, I fear it's a belief or view I hold, even though I don't want it. The thought is disrespectful to her existence and identity, and I'm so afraid that I'm not who I think I am. If she knew I had that thought, it would change the way she thinks about me. I don't want to be the kind of person that believes things like that. But what if I am and I can't change it? I talked about the thought in therapy, and I feel like I betrayed her by saying it out loud to someone else.

Lately, i felt extra bad as i can't do anything: listen to music, read books or fanfiction, role play, make fake scenarios in my head or watch movies. All the medications, including zoloft, lexapro and other stuff; therapy; talks with other people with ocd are bassicaly useless. Nothing helps me. Spiralling over weird topic: starting 'you loved your bully' (WHICH IS NOT TRUE), continuing 'you can't read, imagine scenarios, role play cause it will give you groinal responses, and you're gonna do smut' (i'm asexual, by the way) and ending with some strange topic about having meltdown about Chani goes back to Paul (that is sad, but why am i so worried about that? It's literally made up couple). Ocd never ends, it only gets worse. Over my main topics i have 'additional' ones, like: i have no friends, but i can't say or think about that, because 'it's out of my style'. I just don't understand, cause i really want to have a friend, but i feel so guilty admitting it. Or topics about washing my body and hands, having food poisoning and many other ones. Please, give me some tips or idk. I feel so bad. As i said, I started spiralling over MOVIE PLOT and i just can't stop for some reason, i even understand that this topic is super weird and just silly to worry about. But i still feel so anxious and devastated about Chani being back together with the person who betrayed her. I just can't stop having thoughts about that and googling if she's going to leave him in the 3rd movie (at least in the middle or in the end). I've been feeling and spiralling like this already for TWO DAYS now. I keep repeating my compulsion phrases in my head all the time. I feel so bad and tired. I really want this to end, i'm so tired of ocd. Sorry if it has a poor grammar, but i can't really think about it right now

*This is not intended to be used for your own medication treatment. Please consult your medical provider for your own treatment.* Today I was prescribed Lexapro. If anyone takes this, how did this help you with OCD and anxiety symptoms? I know that people have differing reactions to mental health medication, but was just curious.