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I’m 44 and suffered from OCD all my life that I can remember. I have intrusive thoughts almost all the time. These range from killing myself in many ways to killing others in many ways. It’s hard when talking to people as I see myself harming them or something happening to them all the time and sometimes I get distracted within then thoughts. I feel alone as I don’t think others understand and I do tend to not tell many about this side of my OCD. (Although i still have many people thinking it’s all about cleaning and washing my hands thanks to the media picking this type of OCD to use witch is about 10% of OCD sufferers have) I sink deep into my mind and often can feel myself slipping away as the voice in the back of my mind tells me to harm myself or worse. I’m not sure why I’m writing this I’ve tried seeking help and just been told that they are not equipped to handle my form of OCD and moved me on to another waiting list for another department or place to go to. I have started a YouTube channel in the hope of others getting involved and maybe telling people how they suffer and it’s not just all about the cleaning side of things. Not sure if this makes any sense as my OCD voice restricts me from saying many things I want to as well as doing things I want to. Thanks for reading if you managed to get this far.

I have POCD. Does anyone else have this too? I have a son, he’s 8. It started when he was 4. Hasn’t stopped since.

My next project I’m working on for myself: saying “no” to others and setting limits on people walking over me. I am a HUGE people pleaser. It was actually part of my treatment because I wouldn’t be able to speak my mind. At my worst I was about to pass out but couldn’t suggest to the group that I needed to sit down. I have come a LONG way. But lately, now that I live in New York City and have people that want to come visit (which I LOVE!) A few friends will drag me around because I can’t say “no” One friend came to visit this week while I have 10 pages of my thesis due on Monday. She promised she wouldn’t interrupt. She comes and after a fun full day and seeing Jimmy Fallon, she wanted to smoke a cigarette. (I don’t smoke) She asked if I would come with her first before going to write my paper. (She knows school is my biggest struggle with my OCD) I hesitate and say “I really need to write my paper” (yay me!) but then she gets annoyed and says “I’m afraid security will say something and I can’t do it alone with my anxiety” I really wanted to say “What about my anxiety? I can’t go down. It’s as simple as that. Either you go by yourself or you’re not smoking. I’m not going to just stand outside” But I didn’t. I told her security wouldn’t say anything. They have your ID. But she said she can’t do it. And what do I do? I say “fine” go out with her. She then asks if it’s fine if she smokes a 2nd cigarette, which I say fine even though I was shocked she would make me wait even longer. We go upstairs and I have a very mini meltdown alone in my room because of my anxiety on my paper because now 1.5 hours went by. I have another friend who makes excuses to have things go her way, and I just don’t have it in me to say “well, I guess you won’t come to visit then because I can’t do that” I don’t see her often because of this fact. I don’t understand how people are just inconsiderate and disregard people who are already going out of their way to make them happy. Having it happen twice this week, I’m done being pushed around. At least in theory I am. We’ll see how I do saying “no” ? Sorry for the mini rant! My next post should actually be helpful. I’m going to post some of the material I received from treatment on my blog and post the link if anyone wants it ???

So since I got asked to share my ROCD story I figured I would for my peeps out there for some encouragement. So growing up I was a romance fanatic and always loved the idea of falling in love with a boy and getting married, etc. I’m a hopeless romantic is basically what I am/was ?, I dated a boy from being 8-13 and he was all I knew for so long and ya girl was INFATUATEDDD. It ended on good terms but after that it was my first heartbreak bc I had known him for most of my childhood and also bc I was attached to him bc of this. So 9 months later I’m moving on and I’m getting cute lil crushes on boys still doing the do and I met my boyfriend in 8th grade PE and we slowly began to like each other until we admitted we liked one another to one of our best friends. So fast forward about 3-4 months and stuff is fine and I feel like I’m falling in love with him, at this point we’re both 14 and had been dating for about 3-4 months like I mentioned. I was enjoying everything about us and things were fine until one day I felt kinda off and had my first intrusive thought which was “what if I lose feelings for him?” So this started the ocd cycle, I’d write love notes for reassurance, I cried myself to sleep bc I had all these intrusive urges and awful thoughts. It was quite hard to grasp at the time, I do remember scrolling around on the internet one day and stumbling upon articles for ROCD. I clicked on it and realized I had it. It all made sense. So my mindset was “okay, let’s recover so I can love him again” which is a fairly decent mindset ?. But I didn’t know how to deal with it. I struggled with this on and off for 2 months until HOCD came. I just walked into my kitchen and got a random intrusive thought of me playing with Barbie dolls and making the two girls kiss, it was like when I was in elementary school. So I had the thought of “did I turn gay or am I gay?” It was something like that and it began, I realized within the same day I had HOCD bc I remembered an article being written about it on the same website as ROCD. So again I’ve battled this for a long time. The summer and everything made it awful, I used to lie about my age when telling people about my ROCD bc you never see people who are 14 with it, I didn’t wanna hear “you guys will break up anyway, high school relationships don’t last only 2% last” etc etc. I now know I can’t rely on statistics to make my relationship work bc I used to worry about that all the time. ROCD and HOCD recovery is difficult bc love and sexuality are weird. It’s not that difficult to grasp, but weird. I’m gaining more of who I am back after god damn years of this hell. And my boy and I are gonna move in together when we save up enough money for an apartment. I now know that love is so much more than infatuation and butterflies , it’s in the actions you take and the stuff you do. Love is something you create with another person. And with sexuality, the stuff I worried about that I thought “made me gay” or “proved” anything was merely me being a kid and letting my sexual mind develop/curiosities. Currently my boyfriend and I are happy but we have fights like any other couple. Anyway for ROCD don’t let the ocd take you away from your love, you will get your life and your love back, I promise ❤️❤️. And with HOCD do not give up. You will get your sense of self back.

I have been in treatment for OCD ever since i was diagnosed with it about a year and a half ago and my OCD improved massively before having a major relapse just under a year ago. My OCD is now so complex that my CAMHS team can’t help me and so they have referred me to a specialist OCD team in one of the most famous psychiatric hospitals in the UK. I’m not sure that this new treatment is going to work and although i know it’s too early to tell as i am only going to start it soon (roughly a month or two) but my OCD has me very tightly and i know with certainty that i will not be ready to engage in treatment when that time comes around. My OCD stops me from being able to speak or even move/blink/breathe on bad days when i am in treatment (i can usually talk and move in every other situations apart from when with mental health professionals or talking about my mental health with any sort of adult). Does anyone have any tips to helping me be able to engage as currently it seems impossible and does anyone have any ideas of what i can do/what will be done with me when my 12 week treatment with these specialist is up (that i’ve been waiting for for 6 months) if this doesn’t work? My OCD also effects my life in such a massive way it has led me to develop depression and an eating disorder and have struggled with suicide attempts etc so it is important i am treated. Thank you

So I’ve been counting for a while now and by counting I mean like I blink 6 times or take 6 steps or breath in 6 or hit back space on my phone 6 times. I have also developed a sort of fear of germs and I can’t touch people skin to skin and I can’t tell if this is ocd or if I’m just making it up. I read a book about a girl with ocd and she had similar symptoms so I can’t tell. I’ve also been having a hard time with going outside and trusting people and such because I’m always worried I’m going to die or that I’m being watched. And I can’t really eat out because I think they poisoned the food. Is this ocd? Any opinion would be great! Thank you :)

anyone get paranoid when things are going well that you anticipate something bad?

Need some advice here. I never go to therapy and was on Zoloft for a few years. I was able to push myself through anxiety and did well in college despite all those worries. Now I am working as a translator in a large company. My OCD has ups and downs and is getting better over time. But now, I am in the down period and I took 3 weeks off work. My job is stressful but I managed to handle it. Recently, I don’t really want to stay in the company cuz my anxiety is high when I am working. When I am in the company, I worry a lot. (For example, I worry I can’t focus or I can’t do my work). Lot of stuff are in my head and I don’t feel good. I am afraid things are getting worse. Deep in my heart, I prefer to stay at home. But then, I will lose my income. And I feel I am getting weak if I resign. Should I resign?

Hi, so I’ve recently found out that asking for reassurance isn’t a good way to help OCD (that’s understandable), and I was wondering to what extent is reassurance bad? Eg, reassuring yourself that things will be okay, or that some of the things you obsess over are untrue and aren’t helpful things to think about? I probably sound a little stupid so apologies! I’m just unsure as to what is healthy and what is not! (Sorry if this is confusing, I have just splatted my thoughts down!)

So just need to vent... five weeks I have shut myself off from the world, existed only for my children, cut people off the phone, don’t want to see my partner, only left the house for medical apps! Panic attack that’s lasted over a week and now have diazepam off the doc, on top of my other various meds, just to help with the panic symptoms as I am exhausted physically too, been down before and ocd is always worse, always manage to pick up I just can’t seem to this time! I really don’t feel bothered, can’t be bothered speaking to anyone or have the strength to even try explain, just started inter personal therapy so hoping that can bring some relief! Even tho it’s a massive undertaking just to get myself there, and to smile for the kids and act normal is exhausting!! Fed up of people asking what’s up and oh well when your better ... I just want to say leave me alone and I’ll let you know when I feel better! Know that’s rude but first time I have ever shut off and just want to think of my own thoughts and get myself straight! Am glad I have done it although feel a little guilty! But haven’t missed anyone really! Can’t see me picking up yet at this point and sorry to moan just know u guys understand xxx

I’m feeling super discouraged with my ERP progress :( I’m starting to fear that I have treatment-resistant OCD or something, or that it’s not even OCD :( I’ve got harm-OCD which it’s a tricky one to tackle bc it’s pure O. i’ve been working on ERP for about 4 years now but nothing seems to spike my anxiety enough at the time of the session. I feel safe doing the ERP, but when I get alone with my thoughts/idle mind, that’s the only time I get anxious. I’m super discouraged and anxious rn so any insight is so appreciated. xoxo

Does anyone else suffer from panic sessions or severe anxiety where you feel you can’t breathe whilst driving alone? It’s been a year since I was hit with depression/anxiety and OCD and now I can’t go out or drive alone. My depression is more or less gone but my anxiety and OCD are quite high. How do I confront this fear of something bad happening to me whilst driving alone because I feel like I can’t breathe and that I’ll die.

Remember everyone: the only way to actually beat OCD is to prevent doing compulsions. When you ask for reassurance, remember, you’re doing a compulsion. SCIENCE SHOWS IT’S GOING TO MAKE YOUR OCD WORSE! Also, when you give someone reassurance you are making them worse! Do you want someone to suffer more? Let’s be a community that’s different from others.... LET’S #ResistReassurance If you are looking for reassurance, hit the SOS button on the nOCD app and walk through some reassurance prevention.

I’m coming to the point where I feel like is there reason to carry on and will it get better? I feel like I don’t even know know if these thoughts are true or not I feel so unsure of myself and get so worried that I am a bad person, I just can’t like myself and I feel like no matter what I do I can’t get past this, anybody got any tips on getting me through? Thanks x

Hey everyone. I have a problem with my family to tell them I have OCD. I have been thinking since a long time ago to meet a counsellor or a person who can helps me to reduce my compulsions. It hurts me. To just keep it to myself. How do I do to help myself? ?

Hi there, I recently (3 weeks ago) started ERP therapy for Pure O OCD. 90% of my thoughts are harm related. Since I’ve started the therapy, I’ve been doing the homework it’s been really tough. I’ve started to get depressed and my thoughts are totally whack-a-mole and seem to never stop. Did this happen to anyone when going through ERP?

Anyone else here’s OCD surround a family member? Like the obsessions are all about something happening to a member of the family/someone you care about?

Does anyone's OCD affect their work and driving? I work in health care, dealing daily with patients and my OCD makes me extra checky with all my tasks to ensure I'm happy even though my final answer hardly ever changes from my initial thought....even though it never felt right in the first place. It's so frustrating why it never feels right until it sort of does and then you can let it go only once all the checking has been fulfilled. I find myself re-reading my records to ensure I didn't accidentally write down the opposite to what I wanted to write even though I never have. My OCD makes it feel like it's hard to concentrate like something is obscuring my vision yet it isn't?! I'm just trying to be careful so I think anyway. I can't seem to do stuff in a relaxed manner- I hold so much importance to everything I do in work that it takes me longer to fulfil tasks compared to my colleagues. Even then I feel terrible at my job because I'm not like them. Part of the length of time it takes to do my tasks is also because I have to get over the anxiety which makes me avoidant of said tasks as well. My OCD also affects my driving it sounds so stupid to say out loud but any bump in the road or even just a 'feeling' makes me think I have hit someone and then I drive around just to check I haven't which makes it ten times worse as I'm on tender hooks when I'm checking and getting home is all I want to do yet it's not that simple. I don't know what to call my OCD but it's affecting my work and my relationship with my husband. Saying that it used to be worse and has improved from me suffering from panic attacks and not even going to work. I do see a psychologist regularly and we are trying ERP but I just don't ever seem to be able to do it fully as my OCD seems so confusing,so intricate, so natural when you're in the moment?! Can anyone help ?

Who in this app has OCD and tics?? What are some of your tics? I believe that Tourette’s syndrome and tics is just another manifestation of OCD. Both are based on a powerful urge.. and makes sense that a lot of people w ocd also happen to have tics. When someone asks me what it’s like to have tics that are hard to control they often say “can’t you just choose not to do it?” ?‍♂️ I tell them to try not to blink for 5 minutes and that’s what it feels like to NOT fulfill an OCD ritual/rumination or tic.. nobody is holding a gun to yer head telling you to blink but you start to feel an overwhelming urge to do it or you’ll lose yer mind lol

Does anyone suffer with existential ocd? I don’t hear voices, but I trip out on when I read or write things of the subconscious voice that is happening. I’ve experienced severe anxiety and have suffered for years over this.