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the NOCD Community

As the saying goes with rocd sufferers love is a choice or is love really a choice well If I break it down like this then yea I believe it is I’m choosing to stare in the face of ocd and scream u will not beat me I will rise from whatever he’ll u take me to to be with my partner no matter what damaging thoughts I think u are sending ur only making the future me stronger I yes I as a human being want to be with my partner and that is my choice as me not ocd so throw at me why ever u will I will grow stronger with every breathe I inhale u might put me to my knees but I will always rise up .... so is love a choice yes I believe so I choose to give my love to my partner whatever pain ocd decides to distress me with I was once happy so I can regain that ground and be happy again ... Keep fighting people

*Q + A* Hi Everyone! My name is Kerry and I have suffered from severe OCD since 2008. It came on after a bad car accident and I had shown no signs prior to that. I was 17 and now I’m 28. I saw many therapists untrained in OCD, and it wasn’t until I met an OCD Specialist and went through weeks of intensive therapy using ERP that I started to really question the connection between my obsessions and the effect I had on my reality by performing my compulsions which were totally random (anything you can think of!) I mainly suffer from magical thinking OCD which is basically like “superstition on steroids” - it follows along and targets with my everyday anxieties and my obsessions try and tell me if I perform certain, ever changing compulsions, that I can make or prevent things from happening. This has morphed into multiple themes of OCD, but also follows along with my real life which is hard. BUT I can honestly say I am in a state of ongoing recovery from OCD because I truly understand it’s sick game now and I am able to stop it in it’s tracks before performing compulsions. I’m not perfect and will always have OCD, but I wanted to open up a Q + A session today for you all to ask any questions you may have for me. To give you all some hope, I just published my OCD memoir “The Obsessive Outsider” and I’m so thankful to have added a resource to our world from a sufferer’s perspective. My goal is to eventually help you all get to a point where you can share your stories like I have because it’s so empowering. Hit me with your questions, friends!

Fear of psychosis. I don’t want to trigger anyone, but I’m having a particularly hard time with this “theme”. I’ve been on a high state of anxiety for days now about developing psychosis or already having it. I went to my psychologist and she claims it’s ocd. Basically what is going on is that I’m having obsessions over hearing voices. I’m compulsively researching etc and I fear I’m making it worse. I have intrusive thoughts about “hearing” a voice say something if that makes sense. Like I don’t actually hear a voice but I have a thought about a voice. It’s pretty scary and idk how to do erp with it. Also, late at night I have severely racing thoughts lately. Does this sound like OCD or something else?

I opened up last night to my boyfriend about my extreme fear of abandonment (which I have told him about before) When he confronted me about not being as forward with him sexually which is all linked to my fears of getting too attached to him and then him leaving me suddenly (because it happened to me once with no warning after spending ten years of my life with someone) His answer was hmmm I don’t buy it. It’s too convenient. I believed it before but not now that was months ago. Maybe you shouldn’t move in maybe we should dial it back a bit and stop seeing each other so much. So fucked up. Scared of abandonment so he abandons me

I was listening to a podcast that recommended the techniques used in the book Brainlock. Techniques like relabelling and refocusing were discussed. I heard somewhere that these techniques such as saying...its not me its my ocd....were actually counter productive. Any feedback from our facilitators. The gentleman speaking didnt mention erp once.

Anyone ever have ocd over objects? Like today I bought a little stuffed cute octopus and I keep getting obsessions like what if I have to take it back bc I don’t really like it? I feel physically sick and even had the anxiety shits after I bought it. Now I’m shaky and I’m thinking of returning it but I know this is all so stupid ??‍♀️

Can ROCD last for months??

Heya guys. First time poster here. I am a 27 y/o male living in Brooklyn who struggles with pure O. My obsessions are existential. I spend the better part of the day paranoid that everyone and everything is in some way a simulation that’s tricking me. Sort of like a rat in a maze. It’s incredibly distressing and comes with a slew of other obsessions: “am I crazy, is anything real, am I real” etc. just posting on here because it’s cathartic, and also wondering if other people share similar obsessions? I find it pretty uncommon based on what I’ve seen. Also if you’re in Brooklyn, would love to meet up and chat about our woes. Thanks!

Anyone have any tips for dealing with intrusive thoughts?? I don't want to accept them... I'm having such a hard time. POCD is making me doubt if I'm truly attracted to adult men and women... I keep telling myself that I am and I always have been but it doesn't help. The thoughts are horrible. I'm tired from all the anxiety. I can't even enjoy anything anymore..

I am feeling super depressed. My new happy romantic relationship turnt so sour and anxiety provoking. I am afraid to break up because I am afraid to lose the happiness and love I thought I had. They say it is bad if you don’t love the person, and you just love the idea of being with that person. It is very bad. And it is very hard for me. Valentine’s Day this week, and I feel absolutely miserable. I feel like I am letting her down because I can’t hold myself together anymore. And I don’t feel confident in our future. I am scared to confront her and break it off. Every time I do, I cave in to the lust and to the fear of being alone and failing again at love

Very detailed dream!! Deals with illness, insects, needles, suicide and other triggering stuff!! I had a terrifying and disturbing dream in which me and other people had a very rare and new disease. It was already disturbing as that also because the illness was carried by some very strange insects and we had to stay at the hospital with needles in our arms and stuff. At a certain point a girl (who had the most serious form of the illness) started screaming and she was covered in blood, and she was suffering so much that she decided to k*** herself...I woke up covered in sweat and almost had a panic attack. Does someone else have VERY disturbing and triggering dreams like this? They stress me out so much :(

Does someone have a strong interest in Pokémon? I do! I’d love to discuss!

Anyone else feel like they have to try REALLY hard to get people to love them? Or care? I feel like I have to be a little bit false and pretend I don’t have anxiety or people will leave or I have to trick people into liking me or it won’t happen

I’m withdrawing from college on Wednesday. I’m leaving all my friends to go back home and get intensive treatment at the Rogers OCD Center. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. There was all this fear swarming in my mind. “What if my friends forget about me and stop caring? What about my dnd campaign? What about the guy I like... what if he thinks I’m crazy? What about my classes? I’m supposed to graduate this semester.” All these thoughts terrified me. I couldn’t even imagine living in a world where every possible thing went wrong. However, after a while, things started making sense. I needed to get help. I couldn’t just keep pretending that everything was fine. Today I told my friends that I’m withdrawing. They cared so much. We had an impromptu party and all my friends were there. It was the best day I have had in a very long time. I’ve never felt so loved. I talked about coming to visit in the future and returning for fall semester. I talked to my dm about continuing our dnd campaign. Tomorrow, I’m saying goodbye for good and I’m even gonna work up the guts to ask the guy I like to play guitar with me one more time (we’re in a band together). What I mean to say is this: never scare yourself outta getting the help you need. When you do what you need to do, everything else will fall into place. Who knows, maybe things will be even better than they were before.

To those of you who feel like there’s no escape or feel like this is the end for you trust me it’s not I have been dealing with pocd for about a year now over one small intrusive thought thats felt so real to me and is hard to detach from however little by little I have detached some days are harder than others but please do not give up do not make yourself feel like you’re a bad person because you are not if any one of you wants to talk about your pocd and needs help don’t hesitate to talk to me about whats happening I know it can be a hard thing to handle but together we can overcome this!

Is doubting that I have ocd and that it could be something else Common?

Its nice knowing im not the only one who doesnt enjoys going out and is introverted, the sad truth is just that deep down im not an introvert but hocd made me one. I cant not be an introvert theres too much anxiety for me to enjoy being an extrovert again. It hurts knowing that im missing out of hella fun i wouldve had if i didnt had hocd

Idk if it's a kind of OCD or just normal stuff but have any of you ever believed in psychologic facts or studies? I haven't been to keen about them but ever since I realized I have OCD I kind of started believing them more. Like my brain could go for hours comparing my thoughts and the psychological facts and I now believe them to be true like they claim to be :(

I have missed three college classes because of my depression and anxiety which lead to my OCD being triggered. I did a dumb thing last night. In my haste of getting out of my toxic living situation to spend the night at a loved one’s house, I left a candle burning. I light candles because I am very sensitive to smells and my roommates leave the apartment a mess with trash and dirty dishes. This resulted in the fire alarm going off last night and my roommate had to take care of it. After I take my meds for the night, I am pretty much out of it. I become sedated. She called at 1:30 AM but I didn’t hear it, leaving her to deal with it. Behind a locked door my candle burned, and I was just stupid to not even remember to blow it out before I left. Come the next morning, I apologized profusely. But I can’t help but feel like a total ditz. A waste of space and a neusance to those around me. It’s really hard. I cannot even move a muscle to get to that class. My ocd is keeping me in my room because it smells so bad everywhere else in the apartment. And now that I can’t light a candle out of embarrassment, I’m spraying Mrs. Meyers peony surface cleaning spray on my fan to make my room smell less like trash. It’s all OCD, and I feel worthless and helpless.

Hocd has ruined sex for me and I have not ever tried it :( my anxiety can not take it that what if I don’t like it. Also my hocd is saying I don’t find penis attractive anymore so I can not even fantasize about it because my head says I don’t like it so it’s feels I don’t like it :( with girls it’s feels nothing it’s annoying I don’t get anxious part but I don’t wanna do it in irl but it’s feels like I have to then because it’s almost feels like I want it :(