Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I just found out that some of my most trusted friends that I genuinely loved as friends are all fake and laughed behind my back.

What’s the point in trying? If people say you can’t be 100% free of ocd you can only “manage” it, seriously tell me what’s the fucking point? I’m not up for dealing with a broken brain for the rest of my fucking life

Is it really okay for me to relax about STDs? I’ve never been diagnosed with one but o always feel like my tests can’t possibly be accurate? I’ve been tested about 16 times total but I worry about it all the time. Is it enough to just NOT have sex with other people? Cuz I feel like I have undone my negative results by using public toilets and experiencing splashback, not washing my hands enough before using the toilet etc and I just feel like I’m gonna be accused of cheating when I haven’t cheated. I don’t want to be dumped. What if I contracted STDs without being with anyone else? He will obviously leave me because it will look like I cheated when I didn’t. I’ve not been with anyone else since being in a relationship with my partner I adore him I’m terrified I will contract something somehow or i ALWAYS had an std which didn’t show on my tests and it will only be passed to him one day years down the line when I least expect it and he will leave me because he will think I cheated and leave me I feel like I can’t afford to relax. If I’m not prepared it might be more likely to happen and shock me or something. I did have sudden unexpected breakup three years ago with someone I was with for ten years who kicked me out with no warning. Could this be why I’m a fucking freak now?

I need some advice on this, I was diagnosed with OCD a few years ago and I managed to be free for a few years by don’t giving attention to the thoughts and by giving my full attention to the outside life and not was going on inside my head. After stressful event OCD is back and again I feel that is something else. I am currently for the first time on CBT therapy but I am still on the early stages. My therapist told me that changing my attention to something else when the OCD is at its full blown is good technique but eventually I will need to face the thoughts and try to challenge them. The problem is that the moment I turn inside it’s like I have a train of thoughts that self doubt everything. When I am on this state I cannot challenge anything on the opposite I doubt that I have OCD and I try to understand if my symptoms suggest that I have something else and the fear and anxiety gets worse. I fear that I have something else and that I am a bad person. My big problem is when I am working. I work in an office and I need to sit in front of pc for 7-8 hours. The moment I start working these thoughts kick in and I feel that I cannot find any escape. I cannot do something else to turn my attention somewhere else and find my self doubting and searching was going on with me. And slowly slowly I get so scared that I come to face where I pass something like an anxiety attack. Is there any technique that it can help me to avoid what is happening to me, do no reach the levels of anxiety attack. I try to hear loud music, to concentrate on the pc but it didn’t work. I feel like I am trap somewhere that I need to sit still and just suffer with the thoughts until I reach the level of the full blown anxiety attack. Thank you for listening, any advice is well appreciated.

Hello friends! I’ve never made a post before but I could really use some advice and support in this moment from other people who experience the same thing as me!! I found out about my OCD a few months ago. I’ve struggled with HOCD and POCD and I think I might be experiencing ROCD right now. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over 6 months and he’s wonderful. I’ve had a lot of bad relationships and this one has been completely different. He’s healthy and loving and understanding. He’s been with me on this whole OCD journey even before I knew that’s what I had. I just told him I was having these thoughts about my sexuality that I couldn’t get out of my head and dreams that were really scaring me. It’s been a hell of a 6 months but he’s been consistent. We’ve been in a long distance relationship which comes with its own challenges for anyone. But I have found myself just having a ton of anxiety every time we talk recently. I also just graduated from college and I’ve been in a lot of transition. I moved back home for a few months to get help from my family and a therapist and to figure out what was going on which ended up being OCD! All along my plan was to move to be with him. I have been planning on it but pushing out the deadline back and back because I’m scared. But I’ve set everything up for this week; shipped my car, I’m paying rent for an apartment, and I have a plane ticket for this Wednesday. There are a lot of positives to me moving; more structure and routine than I have here, trying to figure out if this is the right relationship, I’ll be close to Nashville so I can pursue my music dream, my therapist can keep doing sessions with me until I can start seeing a therapist there. But basically I’m panicking about moving as it’s getting closer. What if I get there and I’m isolated and fall apart? Or put too much pressure on the relationship? Or maybe the relationship is wrong because I keep getting anxious? Maybe I’ve never actually lived him and I’ve been faking it maybe were too different and I’m going to move there and ruin my whole life and his. Any thoughts on big moves like this? Or if what I’m experiencing sounds like ROCD? What should I do

I know I don’t have schizophrenia, but my fear is that I will develop it. I felt like I was seeing things out of the corners of my eyes tonight. I thought it was my dog a few times and nothing was there. Any advice on dealing with this theme?

I just wanted to ask something that's about how the app blocking your profile works? Like is it permanent? The support chat had told me the block would be removed after 48hours but it wasn't removed and had to delete my previous account (@chamomile)

Can health ocd be on the theme mental health ocd ? Like afraid of other disorder

Hi guys I’m just looking to see if anyone knows if this is a normal part of childhood development or if anyone experienced this as a kid: Is pretend sexual play normal in kids? Like me and my friends would pretend to be mom and dad and or we would make our bratz dolls kiss or make babies or basically playing games with children my own age that involve sexual behavior. I’m extremely distressed by this right now because I am a little concerned this wasn’t a normal part of childhood development. Mind you I’m now in my 20s so I have no idea why this is coming up into my mind as an OCD theme at the moment lol. Also to preface, Growing up I was always around older kids too so I knew a lot about mature topics before a lot of my peers because my friends at the time that i was around were 3-4 years older than me!

does anyone have any advice for not being able to stomach any food at all?? every time i try to eat or drink water, i get unpleasant images in my head. i haven’t been eating properly or drinking ANY water at all for the past week or so. distracting myself isn’t enough anymore :( any advice??

I am 20. Around a month ago, I suddenly remembered something very bad I did when I was ten. At the time (when I was ten), I didn’t think twice about it, but ever since I remembered it, I can’t stop thinking and obsessing over it as I do not understand how I could have ever done something so bad. It really bothers me, and now I am contemplating wether or not I am a bad person. I have read many articles about this, scanned them, looked for people who have done similar things. According to them, I have past event ocd. I can understand that, but I consider what I did too bad for it to be that. Here’s what I remember of it: When I was 10, my sister was 7, and around that age we would often just walk around naked, wrestle, and etc just like kids. This is probably why I didn’t think twice about what I did. At that time, I would hump various things, not knowing what it meant. I can faintly recollect humping my sister. I do not understand why I did it, but it bothers me a lot and makes me wonder if I am a bad person. I realise it’s horrible, but I didn’t know what I was doing at the time.

So I'm concerned with a suggestion I got from an online therapist who knows about OCD. I've told her about my particular issues and thoughts that I'm having and messaged her today letting her know that I've been really depressed feeling. I'm experiencing existential OCD and she mentioned to try to stop thinking about the philosophical questions because they don't have answers, so I'm just running my mind. She mentioned putting a rubber band on my wrist and using that to bring awareness when I'm having those thoughts and to stop them, (or maybe to divert my attention to something else). Is this conflicting with what we know about OCD treatment? I thought thought stopping like this was ineffective. I'm willing to try anything, but I also want to make sure I'm doing things right and not making myself worse. As a note, this is an online therapist I just started with. I have an in person one that I just started with as well, the online one was because I felt so depressed this week and felt like I needed extra support.

To any of the advocates or anyone who has gone through ERP, is it normal to feel very depressed when you first start it? When I say very depressed, I mean the day I had my first session I stayed in bed for hours and didn't even eat lunch that day. I felt horrible, and I'm still recovering from feeling so bad. I'm having some really rough moments today, and I'm just trying to figure out if this is to be expected, and if so, how the heck do you deal with feeling so depressed? I'm experiencing existential OCD by the way, which has been the worst thoughts for me to deal with.

Hi, I have Pocd and I was wondering, how did Pocd came for you guys ? Me , I was watching a video of a woman saying that when she was young a man touched her private part , and I remember that when I heard her saying that I had a little excitation and after that I got scared that it was because of the fact that she was a child. So now I am terrorized with Pocd

Could someone tell me please if during pregnancy it's possible that your OCD can get worse ?

It hurt me because every time I have questions people say that they can’t answer because of reassurance... but it’s normal to have question about what your living, so..

Posted this last night but deleted to add more. (Prob a compulsion.) anyway, I hate my OCD so so much. I have had perfection OCD in the fear that my handwriting wasn’t perfect, contamination OCD when I was afraid to touch my binders with anything that touched my handwriting, HOCD in the fear that I am not actually gay but straight, (the fear that I got it wrong―I will even be attracted to girls sometimes even tho that is NOT what I want,) a form of ROCD in which I am afraid that I don’t like my hero, my favorite singer, and I have also had the fear that I am not a nice person. And I also have POCD. At least, I PRAYYYY it is POCD. I feel like it’s not and I am so so scared. I don’t want to hurt a child ever! This is the fear that has felt the most real, because when I was in middle school and in high school, I would watch pediatric medical videos since I thought it was okay because it wasn’t technically “porn” and doctors appointments were the closest experience to something sexual that I had ever experienced in my life. (I had always seen a pediatrician at the time. The experiences weren’t sexual, I just didn’t know anything else.) Now, I get intrusive thoughts that I like kids, or like if I see one that is “attractive” I am afraid I like them and it will make me so scared. I feel like I am lying to myself as many on here with POCD have said about themselves. I DON’T want to be like ... that, it’s my greatest fear, I am a rule follower, and groinal response is REAL and it scares the hell out of me. I will say I was “attracted” (or thought I was) to a female singer (Halsey) last week when I was fearing I was straight, but now that I have a different fear I realize I wasn’t. I just feel so hopeless. I want to have kids when I am older. I am a kind person. I don’t deserve this, and as many different forms of OCD that I have had over the years, this one feels so real. (I pray it is just because it is the most scary.) My 2 therapists think its OCD, and I tell them everything. It also doesn’t help that my type is “twinks” (young looking men, I am one myself at age 21,) so there is a lot of overlap in looks that scares me. I feel like I don’t deserve help and I just want to know that this is OCD. I just question cuz how can it be when I was attracted to that when I didn’t realize it was bad and then when I did we’re just gonna call them “intrusive thoughts?” PLEASE respond, I really want to know what the rest of the community with this awful fear thinks. I also think of things like “would I be ashamed if this was accepted in society?” Which scares me too. It reminds me of when I had to come out as gay. I just want this to stop, OCD has had a hold on my life for so long and I pray this is a part of it.

Anybody with Pocd???

Be honest even if it’s harsh - do you think it’s possible to be in a romantic relationship with high functioning OCD? I just started therapy, my OCD is on the severe spectrum. I usually do mental compulsions, some physical. The thing is, I started talking to guys online for shits and giggles, see what’s out there without any real intentions to do anything. I didn’t think it would be a good idea from the get go considering somebody could capture my attention and I’d want to start seeing them. Well my assumption was correct and this did happen. Nothing’s been arranged yet, but I really want to get to know him more and possibly go on some dates. He’s hinted at meeting up, and I get this is part of what you do with online dating, but I can’t help but feel pressured into it because I have a lot going on. I don’t know if it’s a good idea with all this anxiety in my life. I considered two things: as much as my thoughts terrify me, am I letting my anxiety get to me and putting my life on hold by not going out? Because if I cut dating out of my life out, I may as well stop going to university, not interact with people, or have friends. It’s not like it makes a whole lot of a difference considering I still have to do these other things anyway, right? Or, am I being reasonable in thinking that relationships in and of themselves are difficult enough and I’m doing myself a favour by “focusing on myself” by taking this year to devote my time and energy to therapy instead? Can’t I do both? You may think this is for me to decide, but I really think I could benefit from receiving outside guidance from people who are more experienced in this area. I’ve never had a boyfriend before and I don’t know how this stuff works. Sorry if this post is long, I didn’t think I’d suddenly have a lot to say on the matter. Thoughts?

I try to face my fear .. I have a severe fear of developing schizophrenia.. but when I try to read up about people that’s had the same fear I freak out .. I feel my hear beating out my chest.. The what if’s.. I’m fine when I’m not thinking about it when I am I’m convincing myself omg what if I have .. I’ve seen the psychiatrist I do therapy I just don’t get it. I’ve completely become obsessed with it