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I really do hate these suicidal intrusive thoughts. I’ll just be doing something like cleaning my house or doing homework and they try to slip in. It’s super annoying when I’m out of the house having a great time and I get home after a long day and they start to ruin my evening. Or if I’m dealing with an inconvenience which I normally won’t think too much about it, it comes in to make me anxious. Like if I dealt with a difficult customer at work, the intrusive thought will come in and be like “you can just end it all then you know” or “you know you want to kill yourself” and it really messes with my head :( I know I don’t want to, and it scares me that the thoughts have transformed into that! Before (and kinda still is now) it would be if I encountered or passed by an object and my thoughts will say to use that object to end my life. Now it’s more telling me that my true feelings are to end it all, when I know it’s not but it terrifies me. This has been happening every day for about the past 4 months. I’m scared that I’ll eventually become depressed and truly want that, or I’m scared one day I’ll lose control and give in. It’s very worrisome as well when I’m having a good time or dealing with normal life things and the thoughts will be like “what’s the point of any of this? This has no meaning. Why be here then? Go ahead and kill yourself”. Sometimes I have to verbally yell at myself to stop thinking ! I’m not a depressed or sad person and I have many blessings in my life. Why my mind gotta be like that :(

my therapist asked for my permission to pray for me. I said it was okay and honestly have no problem with it. I have been seeing her for a few months now and knows about my OCD and worries. But now I am wondering if it goes against some type of ethics code? Or if I should stop seeing her? I was okay with her praying but I’m just worried it wasn’t appropriate???

Ask me stuff! I'm in a car for four hours and am already bored ?

I'm having a panic attack and I really don't know what to do, because my memory it's says me that I do something, when before I remember other thing but know my brain it's making me believe that I did something and I don't know what to do

Hey guys so I’m dealing with some particularly triggering false memories. They were weak at first as they always are but then I gave in and starting ruminating and they have become very convincing. Does anyone have any acceptance statements for false memories or erp exercises?

I have very disturbing thoughts and I'm not sure what my compulsion is or if I even have ocd but I feel very avoidant because of it. My friend passed away on Christmas, My dad passed away when I was 8 months old, another friend passed away January, Kobe Bryant and his daughter died and they were great people. More people died.... I had never been so exposed to death as I have this year. I had never lost anyone close to me that I knew well. However, sometimes I'm laying in bed and all I could think about is blackness. Your brain just shutting down. Oblivion. Then other thoughts start to come in as well about how I could go to hell because I don't have enough faith in heaven. I was so religious as a child all throughout highschool until I hit 16. I crashed and started having panic attacks. I feel like I've lost who I was. I cant pray without feeling like a hypocrite. I can't pray without feeling like an evil person. I dont even know how to start. When I was 16 I liked music but I didnt know much about ocd and i thought about how famous people supposedly traded their souls to the devil and then i said oh what if i trade my soul and idk wtf i was playing at it was like a joke but then i got so caught in it i started crying and praying thousands of times. I'd look up the unforgivable sin and such things. The case Is I woke up believing I couldnt feel anymore. I didn't recognize my body sensations I felt like an empty shell I forgot what it was like to feel human. (I never changed) but I was very disoriented. I would vomit and shake. There was a night that I was trembling badly I ended up going to a crisis center because I believed my something was wrong with me. I'd observe my thoughts believing that they were automatic even though they arent. I even thought reading was automatic (like I'd look at a sign to see if the word would just pop up) I was very lost in my head. Anyways i recovered from that crisis. The therapist said I only had anxiety no medication needed. So I moved on. Now I struggle because I worry about my feelings. I worry that I may not be reacting normal. Like if my bf laughs at a funny video I will obsess inside about why I didnt laugh why I dont find things funny like he did. I do this with movies too or anything in general that makes me question whether I'm okay emotionally. Am I in love? Am i a bad person? Am i hateful? Am I toxic? Several things that I cant identify sometimes. And sometimes I try to connect emotions to body sensations to make sure I'm okay but not all emotions come with sensations. They do but it's not very specific. Love Is the worst because love is so abstract. I think to myself why am I not feeling butterflies... but forget love is also a choice but I also fear that maybe I'm truly not in love and forcing myself to feel it. But at the same time I feel happy around my boyfriend I like to take care of him I like to kiss and hug him and hes annoying sometimes but I also learn to put my rudeness aside I have learned to be a better person because of him. However I do get a lot of obsessive thoughts with him as well. Death is usually the biggest, what if he dies how will I react ? Am I a psycho for imagining this? What if I die before my birthday? Etc... I'm scared to fall asleep in the car always imagining we could crash. I get a lot of obsession thoughts over love. Am I a good person I dont think I love my mom. But I do love her and its not grand because she mistreated me so badly as a child. She hit us a lot and was always verbally abusive and I feel detached from her but back then I loved her so much and maybe because I was a child. I loved her smell I loved praying with her when I had anxiety attacks. One of the reasons I stopped praying is because I realised it was a compulsion I always thought my ocd attacks existential crisis or death anxiety was a demon or a spirit I had caught. So I would pray and cry and shake. I stopped believing in everything all together. But now I just want to know God I want to learn what it's like to feel safe what it's like to know a loving God what it's like to put your feelings aside and help others to be selfless but now that is also turning into a compulsion j feel a need to feel clean to feel like I'm a good person. I've been planning on going to church as a start. But it feels more like a compuksion and I want to be a real desire. Idek

Can anyone help me? It’s not necessarily ocd related? I don’t think? Maybe it is making me overthink though I don’t know... My partner’s mother has recently been diagnosed with cancer. It was very unexpected and we are all fucking gutted and scared. He’s really distant, won’t come near me, seems irritable when I try to hug him. He’s even acknowledged it and said it’s nothing to do with me, but like, how the hell do you keep a relationship going if there’s no affection? If I get upset over his mother he doesn’t really comfort me either, but I’m hurt too. I keep breaking down at work and trying to hide it from him incase he gets upset, and I’m doing my best to be there for him but I feel totally fucking USELESS. I understand he’s hurt and so am I, but when I’m upset I need MORE affection, not less!!!! so I don’t get it. I feel weird I can’t even describe it. I’m also feeling selfish even writing this. I feel like o have to ask for affection and hugs and kisses and if I don’t do it there won’t be any. I sit on the opposite end of the sofa he doesn’t ask me to come near him/doesn’t come to me. I was just crying and he said nothing. Just got up to use the bathroom. I feel invisible

Question: Are y’all ever proud of your progress, but then you start to feel out of place because you can’t imagine who you’d be if you were constantly drowned by your OCD? Yeah, me too. :/

I don’t know who might want or need to hear this today, but here goes! There is no reason why these thoughts happen. Although I totally empathize and acutely understand the overwhelming wish to make them go away. Paradoxically, it’s this resistance and desire to avoid suffering that makes our suffering occur more habitually. If you’re in quicksand, you’re not supposed to resist because resisting makes it more difficult to get out. You just sink more quickly. You’re already being mindful, and have developed that capacity somewhat. Compassionately bring yourself back to that when you’ve noticed you’re drifting towards rumination and compulsion. When the thought arises just notice it, and tell yourself that it may be true. Your worst fears might very well happen, you can never know for sure. We know on the physical level of the brain that people with OCD have structural differences. As others have noted, everyone has intrusive thoughts. The difference is our disorder imbues them with concern and anxiety. I had my friend, who doesn’t have the disorder, tell me that he has thoughts of close-lining someone when they ride by on a bicycle. For you and I, this kind of thought could cause intense thought spirals and anxiety. For him, it’s just a quirk of the mind that’s meaningless. It’s because he doesn’t get that misfiring fight or flight response. Look, I get it. We’re all conditioned to think that running monologue in our head IS us. But it’s just meat filled with electricity. It does things. A cloud makes rain, and sometimes produces lightning, but it doesn’t ask itself why it makes a storm sometimes. You’re a physical entity whose consciousness is governed by processes you don’t have control over. It’s neurons firing in the dark. You’re not the thoughts. You are the awareness of the thoughts. Cultivating that sensibility, mindfully, gives you space from them. Acceptance is huge, too. Not that you want these thoughts or agree with them, just you accept that the above is true. These are thoughts, they only have the meaning we give them. A breakthrough for me was asking myself why I thought I needed to feel differently. I might want it, but in terms of purpose or utility, does it need to be different? Why? Life has shades and hues. Sometimes we have immense joy, sometimes great sadness. This is the nature of the human condition. When you embrace that, when you stop fighting the quicksand, suddenly it’s easier to be present. Lastly, if you’re in the states, find a specialist who treats OCD with ERP/CBT therapies. It’s the gold standard with the highest efficacy rates in all of mental health treatment. You will have these thoughts again. OCD is chronic. But recovery is a very real possibility. You’re already stronger than you know. Roll up your sleeves and take your life back. You’ve got this.

have any of y’all had success with just doing basic mindfulness exercises? if so, what does your mindfulness practice look like and what are practical ways i can get started with my own?

So I'm just venting. My dog of 14 years is not doing good, maybe a few days left. The sadness I feel is hard to be with. Kind of brings out my Self Harm OCD because it's like sadness=depression=suicide. Going to try to work through it and figure out some exposure to do. It's hard and I'm really sad, he was the best dog and beautiful border collie. Anyone able to relate to a loss of a loved animal or family member and wants to share feel free. Death is my big fear and I think I'll have to face it with my ole pup soon.

Hi folks! Maybe not so common obsession but I have toilet related OCD. I have IBS D and SIBO and I am always worried when I am outside the house, especially when I am at work that I might need acutely use the toilet and I will not be able to so I am always focused on the feelings of my bowels and it drives me nuts and gives me anxiety :( I feel much better when I am home... Have you had something similar or maybe you have some advice?

Aw fudge, I wanna seek reassurance right now but I’m refraining myself from doing so. I’m scared and dunno what to do ?

Sorry this might be long and I haven't written on this before. I'm still new to how this works and need some help in many ways. So I have a lot of severe ocd triggers! I'm having a couple of really bad days and don't know where to turn. I got the feeling I have a Dr. running out ocd meds. that might work for me. Then my OCD therapist sounded as if he doesn't or can't help me. My mother in law came over to help me clean and said to let her know if she triggers me. I tried to tell her and said I'm done and I would finish on my own didn't say this to her but since she was just triggering me and I was about to have panic attacks and such. I told her I would finish which I basically did what I could do and then did an extra job that was bothering me and thought I would finish before my husband got home as a nice surprise. Took a huge turn and now my mother in law wants a apology from me for undoing stuff I didn't do and I have an appointment she was going to take me to tomorrow but now she's refusing and told my husband not me! Im tired of people not listening to me when I say I need help or something is wrong. Of there's any suggestions please leave a comment

Distraction post. Let’s pretend ocd is a person . Under this post write a short letter to ocd

Any help with staring OCD?

I just smoked pot for the first time (sativa) and I've felt pretty okay for 2 hours. Might've been the distraction of hanging out with a friend too but I feel like if I touched coins or my house key right now it might not be too horrible

Hi :-) has anyone ended up convincing themselves they did something they didn't do? I've been wrestling with wondering if past thoughts were actually memories. For the past month I've reviewed and checked and asked people...nothing point to anything happening and yet as I told myself today, it must have happened, I felt calmer like "okay, well now you know." Part of it is also now wondering what else I may have blacked out. But so far I am more at peace than I have been when I was going through the "what if it did happen?" (Things from 10 years ago).

Any other recovering alcoholics/addicts struggling with Pure OCD and Intrusive Thoughts?

Can someone please help . My OCD is more about obsessive thoughts. I dont know how to catch myself on the obsessive thoughts. How to fix it. I mean that I have so many thoughts and my thoughts are spinning and spinning then I dont know how to find an actual topic of my thoughts.... and what caused an obsessive thought . I hope it makes sense . It feels lately like I dont think and I just have obsessive thoughts . I'm second day in a row drinking alcohol to feel tipsy and to stop having the thoughts but I dont wanna become an alcoholic . But it's an awesome feeling to stop thinking and being focused on painting ( cause I'm painting and drinking right now )