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Who else with hocd is obsessed with relationships and “proving” to the world that they are straight? Since my hocd started , my all consuming focus was on relationships, as a means to get rid of my hocd. But then, ROCD kicked in and I ended up hopeless. Will it ever end?

I really don’t know if this is common or not but I’m too scared to google it. Basically I’m quite introverted and scared of judgement etc. Being the centre of attention is scary. But at the same time, I crave attention and validation a lot. Like in class, for example, I WANT to be picked on when I have a good answer because I will feel validated. But it’s also very scary having everyone look at me. And I just don’t know. Like I’m shy and awkward but also I like it when people notice and perceive me (if it’s not in a terrible way). It makes me so anxious though and makes me feel vain. It’s easy to tell myself to stop caring about what people think, but it’s hard to practise that without still ‘craving validation’ as such.

I'm really worried that I think working is lame and that I don't want to do it anymore. I need to work but keep avoiding it because I get all these thoughts when I try. It feels real like I dont wsnt to work anymore and I want to rebel and do bad things instead. Is this OCD? I work at home btw on my small business.

TW I had an anxiety attack earlier and I’m still shaking and trying to calm down hours later. I was in this ocd server on discord and someone in the pocd chatroom said that they were an actual pedo after relating to one of my messages. I tried telling them that maybe it was just ocd but they were pretty convinced. I had to leave the chat after that because felt so sick and disgusted that I was talking to an actual pedo. I feel like them relating to me makes me one to and that I’m just in denial. I’m incredibly anxious and I can’t sleep. I feel like I’m going to be sick.

I honestly think it’s best to keep your ocd hidden from people who don’t have it unless absolutely necessary. This disorder is incredibly complicated and hard to understand. Even people that suffer from it often find it hard to understand why they’re afraid of something that doesn’t make sense whatsoever much less people who don’t have it.

I feel so defeated. I hate that I never dated and broke the rules a little. If I had maybe I wouldn’t have this. Maybe I wojld have figured this out a lot sooner. I’m so .... ugh

Does anyone have any feedback on if Zoloft helped them with their HOCD ? My daughter is on 25 mg and the doctor thinks she should go on 50 Mg because her HOCD has not gone away . It comes and goes in phases so wanted to see feedback

For people with sexual intrusive thoughts, do you get them while masterbating? Do you then feel bad and feel like you masterbated to the thoughts?

I feel like I’m only turned on by sex with women. I had sex yesterday with my husband and it was awful I literally dissociated I had so much anxiety

Lately I’ve really been struggling. I’m currently obsessing about wether or not the porn I viewed makes me a pedophile. It was legal but very taboo. I viewed it in my early teens back when I had a porn addiction and quickly became desensitized to regular porn. I ruminate over the things I’ve seen constantly and I feel so disgusting and guilty. I compulsively try to seek reassurance about this because it’s one of the only things that still fuels my pocd. :((

It’s genuinely crazy how real these false attractions feel. I’m 20 years old and I’ve never thought abut dating a woman, and I could acknowledge an attractive woman when I saw one but nothing in me ever wanted to think of anything else, maybe friendship at best. In the course of 6 months I’ve gone from physical sensations like tingling in my lips after talking to a friend and intrusive images of me introducing her to my family and getting married to her, worrying about whether or not I’m in love with my best friends romantically, worrying about if I have to marry a woman/date one, worrying I’m going to be living in denial my entire life bc I also realized I’m aroace, being unable to fantasize about men in general, being afraid of my best friends (which kills me because they’re my everything), being unable to think about my future which made me so happy before (single, adopting kids), and SO MUCH. I feel like I’ve lost my drive for life lol

Does ocd always have compulsions or can it just be obsessions?

I just did an exposure that was so intense I started crying. It was reading an article about how women can change sexuality into lesbians later in life and I’m so scared because I thought that could be me and now I have to agree with it for exposure. This is really hard and terrifying

Is it okay to seek reassurance about ERP? I think a lot of us who do ERP have had thoughts like "what if this isn't working out" and doubts along the line. Or "do i really have ocd, what if i have been misdiagnosed?" I feel like a therapist is a big support in reminding you to just keep going. However if you are doing this entirely on your own, it is okay to ask for some support during your hard times, to encourage you to keep going? I was wondering about this because it feels like sometimes this app can become like a compulsion itself, but maybe it's a kind of support that should be okay if one doesn't overdo it. The issue is we ocd people might be bad at telling where the line is. That being sad i have to thank everyone here a lot. For someone who had absolutely nothing, finding a infos and people who relate guided me onto a path of what i think is recovery.

you know what i think that even when i get rid of my current theme that's tormenting me my brain would still find something trivial to worry about so i ultimately can't escape this. i just need to accept that my brain is problematic.

Is it my fault if I keep finding videos that make me really uncomfortable and spike my OCD on YouTube? I was browsing through videos on a channel that for the most part I was comfortable with and didn't feel terrible about until I saw one video that did make me uncomfortable and I ended up unsubscribing. Is this an overreaction? This has happened several times on youtube and I don't go intentionally look for videos that make me uncomfortable or worry about how I view myself. Is this just my OCD?

Sometimes I rant in my head for like an hr and feel like what I’ve been ranting on and on in my head I want to write on here about it but then I realize I’ll just be going over what I was ranting in my head again and I’m like do you really want to revisit your whole hr of compulsions going over how your life sucks and that no one gets it and that your previous therapist was the worst therapist ever??? Smfh. Having OCD just makes life twice as hard pun intended.

I’m not sure where my OCD begins or ends. My partner has such a wild sense of humour and always makes these insane jokes. It makes me anxious ALL the time and I begin to question and interrogate him. I’m so frustrated because I can’t figure out if I’m so upset and triggered by the things he says because he’s actually going too far and crossing the line, or if my OCD and anxiety can’t allow by brain to relax about this. When I do manage to “brush it off”, we both laugh and move on. But then I’ll start overthinking and I’ll bring up the subject over and over and over, seeking reassurance. However, he made a joke that was NOT funny and I legitimately got upset. But I also think my anxiety causes me to react stronger than I should? Sorry if none of this makes sense. I’m all over the place. This anxiety just makes it SO hard to tell if I’m overreacting or getting upset over nothing, or if I’m warranted in feeling this way.

I feel like I’m just lying to myself now and that I’m actually gay and do not have HOCD. From the last hour I’ve gone from being disgusted by my thoughts to me thinking I’m completely gay. I’ve had this in my head for 2 years, everyday I just want it to end 😩

False attraction OCD. Urgent advise needed. (Fyi, Nobody knows I have OCD and I've never had therapy, the largest dialogue I've ever had about this is by having conversations on this chat board) I decided to leave my hometown for a bit because a couple of my relationships fell apart, leaving me feeling like I had no where I could turn to. The only place to escape was to go and stay with my mum. Unfortunately, I also have gronial response and fear of attraction OCD, and one person my OCD targets is my mum. I find it very difficult. My only symptoms are that I get anxiety and a gronial response if I'm hearing, seeing, or interacting with a subject that I fear it would be innapropriate to feel attracted to. Flair ups are the worst if I think they are doing something that could have some sexual connotations, i.e licking lips. So, I'm aware through hearing on this app - that allowing dark feelings and thoughts to come and go in triggering situations is actually really helpful for recovery. I.e The ERP technique. I'm trying this whilst I'm up here and I want to give an example of whats happening: I get triggered by my mum if she talks in a hush voice. She works on a mental health hotline and so for a few hours I can hear her talking in a sympathetic voice, and I guess to me that could have connotations of sexual undertones. Today I tried to sit in the other room and meditate whilst she was talking and i could hear it, letting the feelings come and go and not judging myself. I tolerated it for quite a while. But eventually I just feel discusted, I just want it to stop and i want to put my headphones on. I tried to feel nothing but love and acceptance for myself. But after a while I just want to cry or hit myself because I feel so horrible because of the gronial response it gives me. I keep thinking about the meditation I did today which told me that I should embrace triggering moments and let them in. I should be thankful of the opportunity to overcome them, and welcome it. But Im away in the country side, in lockdown with my mum, and im basically exposed to triggers here 24/7 - sometimes I just want to go into my room where I can't hear her, or put my headphones on. Is this really bad avoidance and going to make me worse? I came here to get over some other painful personal problems and now I'm having to do a self induced ERP on myself with no experience. Sometimes I just want to relax, but am I reinforcing avoidance and rituals if I try to get away from her sometimes when it gets too much? It honestly feels so horrible to have to keep exposing myself to this, especially because I came up here because I needed to get away from bad relationships in my home town. I don't feel like I'm asking for reassurance here, I genuinely need some advice regarding how I can be here and battle my OCD and also not feel horrible all the time? Its so hard to try and fight this looming depression and anxiety all by myself. Its so isolating. Basically, is it okay to try and leave a situation where I could possibly be doing some exposure? Thanks. Peace and love. And HOPE.