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the NOCD Community

What helped you seek OCD treatment? It's been over a year and half since extensive online research helped me conclude that it's very likely I have moderate/severe OCD. Despite the fact that it severally impacts my daily life, I'm struggling with reaching out for professional help. Held back by mounting fear, anxiety, and doubt I'm having a very difficult time getting help. So I'm just wondering what helped others take that first and speak to a professional.

Anyone a born again Christian and struggle with pure O /scrupe?

The thing that scares me most is when I’m having a great time playing with my kids and I randomly think about killing them. Not specifics but just the idea. Then I have anxiety for hours about it and scare myself. “What if I did?” “Will my mind ever snap and I do it?” “Am I a danger? Should I leave?” For the longest time I was scared to talk about these thoughts. I’m glad I found a safe space that will truly understand that that is all they are - thoughts. I hope to make new friends so that we can help each other during these “episodes” and bring each other back to “reality”.

Why someone being a pedo doesn’t effect me anymore like I think it’s not the worst thing in the world there’s a lot worse going on why am I thinking this n feeling it all too real it is the worst thing in the world but I’m finding it hard to belief I can’t live like this anymore

Does anyone else use weed either legally medically or self medicate. I want to know what your experience has been. I have smoked for about 5 years everyday multiple times a day and I have stopped self harming but I don’t know if it’s actually had benefits or not. Maybe I should just stop smoking lol. Am also on 150 mg of Effexor and I’m not sure if that has truly helped

Seeking advice: When an obsession comes up and you are trying to resist doing compulsions and before long you’re ruminating and then another obsession appears even before you get to resolve the first obsession. So then obsessions pile up. How do you deal with that?

The day I get officially diagnosed, I almost can’t WAIT to let certain people know and post things about it and raise awareness for it etc. I’m excited to explore OCD. But I feel like I’m just doing this for attention / for pity and sympathy. It’s bad, and I know that, but I’ve always loved it. And this often makes me think that I don’t have OCD, I’m just telling myself I do so I can be unique and special. Personally, I found out about OCD through reading an article about a harm ocd sufferer and then telling myself that I too wanted to kill my family. It was distressing. However I can identify traces of OCD prior to that. I frantically worried that I had HIV (health) & I frantically worried that life was all just a simulation (existential). I also suffered with confessions and the need to tell people the bad things I’d done. But I still wonder if I really am just putting it on, because this excitement to tell people isn’t exactly conventional. Nobody WANTS OCD, so why do I?

Help

Need help. I feel like I acted on my Intrusive Thoughts. I’ve been doing great with my recovery from POCD. I’ve been accepting the thoughts, and been on medicine and I’ve had thoughts, but have been able to brush them off. I’ve also been forcing myself to be around the children that are my triggers. I work in child care. But today, a kid brought in a valentines sticker book. He brought one of the stickers over to me and told me it said “you are so sexy” I took it from him, and one of the girls I was with asked what it said. I said it was inappropriate. My OCD then told me to let her read it. And I just handed it to her. And now my mind is telling me I did it because I’m a terrible child predator, and I keep asking myself why I did it, and telling myself I’m a bar person. I feel like I’m 10 step backwards.

When practising exposure with HOCD, is it normal to experience groinal response or does this mean I’m enjoying it?

I would just like to say that I am doing so much better than 5 months ago. And that in itself is a blessing. Yes I can still get horrible images and thoughts in my mind. Not as many as before, and they dont hold as much power anymore. What I'm struggling with is how to attack my irrational beliefs and understand the uncertainty behind a thing such as POCD. Any advice on people suffering from this?? Today I tried telling myself, "I'll never know if I am attracted to this kid or not, and that's okay." But really it's still bugging me.

Anyone with hiv ocd that recovered and can help

is it possible for HOCD to turn u gay/ bi. i don’t even know anymore. i feel like it’s just not OCD and i’m just in denial because i’m scared of what people would think of me if i came out as bi. i hate this so much. these thoughts are making me so anxious. it’s like i have these thoughts and then later i look back and see all of the anxiety it was giving me. is this OCD? pls help

Pocd Am I just a weird sicko or does anyone else get an unwanted thought every.single.time they see a kid even in the street, Facebook etc. feels like it will never change :(

A Product of Ten Minutes of Thinking: I want to live in a world where... I can pet my dog without checking for tiny black hairs on my fingertips afterwards I can walk around my house without forcing myself to wear shoes so I can shield my feet from the dirty carpet that other people have walked on I can go to a restaurant without worrying that a rouge hair has drifted into my water glass that may not have been washed well enough I can enjoy eating food without thinking about how greasy, messy, crumbly, it is as I lick my lips to make sure no remnants remain I can cry on the hard days without crying about the fact that I’m crying, since tears are a bodily fluid and bodily fluids are gross, no matter how natural I can be in a too-small room with a person who has just sneezed without holding my breath to avoid the possibly bad germs until my face turns purple I can go to an amusement park or a mall or a public bathroom without cringing when I have to touch a door that so many other people have touched I can look out my bedroom window at the night sky without being irrationally scared that the darkness will swallow me whole if I look for too long I can live, feel, walk, risk, enjoy, cry, heal, explore, imagine, without hurting ever again You could say that I’m lucky, because I used to be too afraid to ever pet my dog, walk into dirty rooms in my house, go to a restaurant, eat messy foods, cry, take a deep breath, explore crowded places, or look out of my window at night. But don’t you see? I’ve only learned to exist. Not to live.

Hey guys. I’m having a really hard time. Everything feels so hopeless right now. My girlfriend and I just broke up and it was the first time that I felt like I actually saw a future with someone. I hate that my OCD turns me into this insecure person and someone who constantly second guesses myself. I know it’s not the sole reason for the break up, but I hate that I can see the person I want to be, but can’t see to get there. Anyone else struggle with this? I feel like I’m stuck behind a chain link fence, and can see the good on the other side but can’t get there. I just wanna know I’m capable of getting there. Sorry everyone, just venting and looking for some support :/.

I feel so alone

I have to keep cleaning my iPhone screen I can’t stand it to be greasy or have fingerprints on it. Anyone else have this? How do I stop?

TW pocd This is really hard to explain but I’ll try. Struggle with POCD. I find the thoughts absolutely revolting but I think? A compulsion of mine is replaying the thought to check as the unwanted thought makes me feel like I “enjoy” the thought? It’s sickening. Anyway, the thought came, then another thought / temptation? Came to rethink the thought and “check” it. I resisted but then got this sickening feeling like my mind was telling me “awwww you’re disappointed you couldn’t enjoy the thought and at the same time find it repulsive” and know I feel like I’m just in denial that I secretly like the thought. My biggest fear is that I’m secretly attracted. Can anyone shed this light? Is this still OCD or temptation / unrepentant sin? ( I’m Christian. ) Thanks guys, struggling so much.

Does anyone else suffer from ‘Real life events’ OCD? I constantly worry about things I did as a teenager (from ages 15-19) I wasn’t a very nice person and think I was quite a toxic girlfriend in my first relationship. I’m always terrified that people are going to find out and that I’m going to lose my job or something awful. I also think that a lot of people would be so shocked if they knew some of the things that I’d done, and that they would think so much less of me. I feel a constant need to confess or apologise, and wish more than anything that I could erase that whole chapter of my life. Previously in counselling, we looked at ‘black and white thinking’, and I managed to rationalise that everyone makes mistakes and nothing I did was that bad, but I have this horrible feeling that one day this will all catch up with me. Is this just genuine guilt and remorse or is this a symptom of OCD? Thanks in advance.