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I could use any kind words/guidance. I'm not trying to ask for reassurance thats not my intention I'm just explaining my thought process. Any helpful tips would be appreciated. Hey guys. I am a female who struggles with sexual orientation ocd. It's completely taken over my life. In the beginning, (Nov 2019) I was convinced I was just gay and felt like I was lying to my parents and family about who I was because these feelings were so new. This is something that I've been obsessing over daily. I always had this fear of being gay since I was a little girl and I think I convinced myself that if I think another girl is beautiful that it's because I'm gay. Now keep in mind I've never looked at a girl and thought "Omg I want to kiss her, date her etc" but because I associated being gay as something else since I was little, that's what I have convinced myself as. I even tried self exposure therapy, like googling "hot girls" and scrolling down the pics and making sure I don't look at a girl and want to be with her, and although I don't view females that way, it has turned into a compulsion. I've always been a girly girl and I love looking at other girls makeup, outfits and just girls in general because I have always compared myself to others. Now I feel that I'm gay because of that. In the beginning I felt fearful and scared to see lesbian couples, avoided women etc, but now I don't get uncomfortable or triggered at lesbian couples or girls, but instead I scan every girl I see as a compulsion testing myself. Now I'm thinking, am I not uncomfortable anymore because I'm accepting this? And I always loop back to the thought "well how would a REAL lesbian feel/emotions" and its a horrible toxic cycle. I have no sense of identity. And I've been struggling with these obsessions (severely) since Nov 2019, is it normal to obsess this long? Ugh. It's one of those days.

Please read - People always say "I'm lonely" despite being in a relationship or having some friends..They probably don't even know what loneliness really is.If you have a partner you're not a loner.Your partner is (or should be) your friend. If you have people to talk to - People that you get along with - you're not friendless either.Do you guys know what is loneliness? loneliness is when you don't have anyone to talk to..when you don't feel understood by others (despite them being in your life) When you wake up and don't have a single unread message or one missed call..when you want to call someone you know but everyone is always too busy..people confuse loneliness with boredom.Boredom is not the same as loneliness and never will be. boredom is temporary loneliness is permanent I'm here because I would love to find someone to talk to.I don't have any true friends & I want to change my situation.I don't really want to wait any longer than 5 or 6 hours on a message that can be typed and send in a few seconds or minutes..I'm a human too and I hate excuses..I don't need another shallow friendship. I want to meet someone who wants to talk on a daily basis - why? I want to finally see someone's engagement..I want to talk to someone who also needs a friend to talk to throughout the day.I'm always the one waiting for people's messages and I'm sick of them never making any time for me. & I don't feel understood by them. Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you. I have a lot of free time (I don't want anyone to send me a message only out of sympathy or boredom though - friendships shouldn't be forced) so..send me a message only If you want to talk often and If you're a talkative person) I'm not really interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful messages. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort. I personally don't care about people's interests -common interests.What matters to me is your honesty,respect,your outlook on life. I'd rather talk to someone in a similar situation.Someone friendless..Don't get me wrong - most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends in real life are usually more focused on them & have less time for others.Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on.Sometimes I feel like the only friendless & rejected person in the world.I love warm-hearted people.Sensitive people who always try to understand others.Empathy is everything I want to meet someone who won't reject me & my friendship My boyfriend used to treat me like a princess to..leave me..& now? I just need a friend..Nothing else 18-35 age range. Send me a private message If you want to talk.. or download kik empathy95 my username I'm not looking for any relationship.Just someone like me.. to cry together and laugh together and support each other.I can't bear the pain..I don't want to hear "find a therapist" or "everything will be ok" because life is unpredictable..I just want to find someone who can relate..someone in the same situation.Someone who always will be there (If we get along) I need it more than ever.I know how sad my post is but I'm also very sad.I can't believe someone I loved so much just left me.blaming me for everything..I just can't.Nothing hurts more than being super friendless.having no one who understands you..I really would rather talk to someone in exactly the same situation.I'm too sad to talk only about random stuff or hear positive stories from other people.I want to talk to another person willing to listen to me.Another person who doesn't have anyone just to support each other.Someone who would never tell me "move on" or "stop complaining" someone who needs someone to talk to almost all the time.I don't want to feel like the only sad person in the world or be rejected again.Most people say "I don't have any friends.I would do anything for a friend" but they never have time for others..Imagine never getting any messages from others..always waiting for someone to text you..waiting & waiting..spending most of your time at home (not by choice) I really wish I had at least one person in my life.One person who would make me feel important.If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to daily (throughout the day and even night)I always make time for others. It's just too much to ask for just don't message me but please don't criticise me.I'm sad enough because I'm left all alone

Last question of the night. I was shopping and watching this you tuber and he made like a little prayer about his god and stuff . Whenever other people of other religions worship or praise their god i feel like i need to make sure to say or think something confirming my belief to God and my religion. Now i feel like despite doing that I can’t buy anything from the site because everything is tainted? In a way. It’s like mental contamination? Ocd? Or no? And if it is ocd how do i combat this? (I don’t mean to offend anyone of other religions through this post. That isn’t my intention)

Well, can I tell you how I was diagnosed with OCD? It all started when the pandemic appeared, I remember I was very afraid of being infected by COVID, and I couldn't leave for ANYTHING, and my grandmother had to stay in the hospital because she had a worsening of the kidney disease at the same time, and I was so worried and so afraid of her getting Covid or dying from her illness, I couldn't sleep or eat anything, I was vomiting and crying for a couple of weeks, then when she got better, she came home, and then about a week then my mom had to get an x-ray, and I remember being obsessed with the fear that she had a serious illness like cancer or something, and I couldn't stop praying that God wouldn't let her sick. Then I started having different kinds of obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts, and all these thoughts made me very anxious. I was obsessed with: getting a disease, fear of my family members dying, being racist, fear of an accident and many intrusive thoughts. And then it all got worse when two of my best friends told me they could be bi, and I started getting obsessed with the thought "if my best friends are, I must be too", and that thought killed me, and my anxiety became worse than ever, and I hated it more than anything, my brain couldn't stop telling me that I was attracted to every girl I saw. I looked for a psychologist, but I couldn't tell her anything, it was impossible, I didn't stop crying and feeling very bad. And then I started having intrusive sexual thoughts about everybody, even my family and my best friends, and I started a new obsession about being in incest, ugh, it was horrible, I just wanted to be away from everyone, it made me sick. About a month later I had an intrusive thought about hurting my mom and it scared me, it made me really afraid and nervous, I couldn't stop crying and so I went to a psychoanalyst and I told him about this thought, he told me that it could be my anxiety and fear of losing my mother. But these thoughts didn't stop, they came stronger and more frequent, I didn't want to be alive with these thoughts, so I started having some suicidal thoughts, and those thoughts scared me too, and I was very scared of dying. So I went to a psychiatrist and she diagnosed OCD, and prescribed me some medications. Now I'm on ERP therapy and I'm getting better little by little. I still have a lot of intrusive thoughts and a lot of other themes, but this text would be too long if I explained everything, so that's how I was diagnosed with OCD, if you want to share your story with OCD, feel free to comment :)

Hello everyone! I hope everybody is doing well tonight. This is my first official post on this app, but I've been reading and commenting on other people's posts fairly regularly. I just wanted to say that I really enjoy being a part of this amazing community and I'm so happy to be able to do my best to help others on here who are struggling with OCD. I'm also of course so happy to be able to receive such wonderful and amazing advice and encouragement from everyone else on here everytime I get on the app, so thank you everyone! :) I've already made some wonderful friends on this app and I'm looking forward to making many more friends as I continue to use this app. By the way, Happy #flooffriday everybody! Our family cat Grace says hello to everyone and hopes you will all have an awesome night! 😀

I was thinking of getting a dog for emotional support. If you do have a pet, does it help ease the anxiety? Any advice or words of wisdom?

Whats wrong with reassurance? It helps me

Can anybody doing contamination ocd please let me know if it's incredibly hard? I just can't seem to push through with ERP. I'm wondering if I'm weaker than others who do ERP.

I really do understand how confused and frustrated you are. To be honest I find it frustrating too. These other practices are saying something about HOCD that is misleading and confusing. Let me try to put things a different way. It's the same thing as I've said before, but maybe I can say it a different way that will make more sense to you. I'll go in the direction of the cancer analogy you used... Imagine if someone came into an anxiety clinic because they were having chest pains. A lot of times, those chest pains would just be anxiety. But not all the time. Sometimes, they would indicate a real medical issue. By the same token, a lot of the times when someone comes in with HOCD, it's just anxiety, but other times there is a real feeling of attraction there. Just like with chest pain, you would have to help the person stop ruminating and feel less anxious, so they can see if they still have chest pain even when they aren't anxious. When other practices say that HOCD means someone isn't gay, it's like saying that anyone with chest pain is just anxious. A lot of the time it's true, but it's incorrect and misleading to say that it is always just anxiety. Someone with HOCD is constantly trying to figure out if the feelings they have are attraction or anxiety, like someone with chest pain trying to figure out if their chest pains are caused by their anxiety. They feel the desperate need to figure it out, but ruminating about it just makes them more confused. Does that analogy help you to understand? In terms of your asking for a link to a case of HOCD that was real, I don't have a specific link to send you unfortunately. I just know from my own and others' clinical experience, not from published articles. If I had something to send you I would. I'm sure if you google hard enough you'll find something, but it seems to be buried underneath all the articles from these other practices telling people they aren't gay. And by the way, it's important that here are articles telling people with HOCD that they might not be gay. Just like it's important that someone can google chest pain and find out it night be anxiety. It's just not okay to say that chest pain is always anxiety, and it's not okay to say that HOCD is always straight. I am so confused just found this article online from an OCD therapist responding to someone. I thought OCD therapist believe this means it’s not true from everything I have read

Man, this is so weird. I usually feel so free here. There’s such help and comfort in this community of those who understand and the extra level of protection from anonymity. But right now, those invasive thoughts have latched on to the idea that those in my life about whom I might want to vent are here to take it incorrectly. Damn it, OCD, this is my safe space, so of course you attack me here. 🤦🏼‍♀️ No wonder I’ve been so moody, a difficult situation in my family right now, AND, thoughts on top of it that it’s not safe to vent. What talking does take place feels stunted. No closure. And boom, intrusive thoughts walk that line of rumination. I’ve tried talking with my partner. Tried talking with a safe third party. Tried going about my day despite the chatter. I just feel like the situation keeps unfolding and bringing me right back to getting stuck in my head. OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS. Kinda wish we could just turn off the caring about certain things sometimes, or that it was more ok to go scream somewhere for emotional release. 😮

Today at 25, 2 months after my diagnosis of ocd, adhd, anxiety, and depression. I've realized how much ocd controls me and how much worse it makes all of the other things. I've been having such a hard time with the intrusive thoughts its been destroying me. I thought it was the adhd or the anxiety and found an ocd podcast today that showed me this app. In the last few hours I've discovered how much my ocd has control over my life and I dont know where to start to get help. I cant afford to much for therapy but I definitely need help

How can I deal with this? So I think my pocd is starting to come at me from a new angle. A really scary one. I can’t be around my sister. Every time I’m around her I get uncomfortable and can’t look at her because my brain tells me to look at her butt and stuff like that. Well tonight I was letting the dog out and I put my phone on my couch to let the dogs out. Afterwards I picked my phone back up but I realized my sister was sitting there watching tv. Now I’m thinking what if I tried to do something to her and she just didn’t notice. I thought this as soon as I was walking away, and I repeatedly said to myself I picked up my phone I picked up my phone that’s it. How can I do ERP to fight this? Should I turn myself in?

Cheating OCD Anybody deal with cheating OCD where they all of a sudden got a panic attack that they may have cheated on their partner when you KNOW they didn’t ??? Like now I’m playing scenarios in my head that feel real???

I keep having the same intrusive thought or image and it won’t give me a break, trying to convince me that I like the thought and I want it and I’ve never felt this with any of my other intrusive thoughts so what makes this so different? Why is this happening? I can’t even tell if it’s ocd or not but I’m praying to God that’s all it is. I wish I had answers or clarity but I can’t seem to figure it out. I know I’m not supposed to try and figure it out I get that but I have to make sure it’s not true. What if it is true and I’m in denial? What if I do actually like it? I just want it to go away…I’ve been so depressed for the past week (since I’ve gotten the thought and this all started) and it just won’t let up. I can’t take it anymore. I want to break free from all this. I’m sick of it. I feel like I deserve my misery 😭💔 I really am sorry I keep posting about all this. I just want someone to understand

For women with soocd who read coming out stories online and go on latebloomer forums and read masterdocs, etc. Firstly, nothing good or productive will come from that. No one else's story can determine yours, so there's literally no point looking at that stuff, but especially not if you have ocd, which is a real disorder that distorts the way you think and analyze your identity. Second, maybe this perspective will help you: people of all sexualities experience soocd obsessions accompanied with the fear of being in denial. Even women in same sex relationships who have soocd endlessly ruminate and doubt their attraction to women because of the way ocd works. They also wonder am I no longer attracted to the sex I always thought I was They? Or was I ever attracted to the sex I thought I was They? They also compare themselves to coming out stories to see if they relate or not and try to use that as evidence with their ocd. My point is, the next time you think that it will truly be helpful or a relief to read or visit a site or video, etc. To compare your sexuality with someone else's, at least pause for 5 minutes, and see if you can delay it. Oftentimes, when you delay a compulsion, the 5 minutes come around and you may have even forgotten about it. If not, delay it for 5 more minutes, etc. Watch a funny YouTube video for 5 minutes and you'll like forget about the urge. Gay people with soocd doubt their attraction to the same sex because of black and white info about sexuality that is spread online. Straight people with soocd do the same thing. Bi people with soocd and pan people with soocd and ace people with soocd also do the same thing. But regardless, none of us need to read other people's sexuality stories and compare to them, because it gets us nowhere except deeper into the blurry cycle of ocd where nothing makes sense. Trust me, I've been dealing with this obsession for multiple years now and have had lots of episodes where I dug myself so deep in these compulsions that I felt utterly hopeless and like life was pointless bc of the pain and torment I put myself in. When I started resisting the compulsions again, though, the heavy fog began to lift and your perspective changes a lot. Remember that: ocd doesn't change you, just like depression doesn't change you. It changes your perspective, but not you. It lies to you, but it isn't you. And it doesn't have power without you (your participation in it).

I just want to share this because I’ve kept it a secret for so long. Only my therapist knows & I want to be able to share. I’ve struggled with sexually intrusive thoughts since I was in second grade. They were basically cannabalistic thoughts, about ppl preparing to cook me and eat me in sexual ways. I only recently was diagnosed with OCD and it was the biggest relief of my life. I’m starting to understand my mind and why it works the way it does. It’s amazing to find that other ppl struggle in similar ways too. I remember chatting with ppl online about these thoughts which I thought was a disgusting fetish of mine, that shared the same fetish, asking them how they dealt with the shame of the thoughts. No one ever felt shame. They all told me “it’s just a fetish”. I never understood how they couldn’t be disgusted. But now I do. I have OCD.

Advice from some experienced people. So I now no longer ruminate over OCD, I also accepted the uncertainty and I feel great now. But I have a doubt I want to keep my OCD as a secret forever and I don't want others to know about it. Is it ok to keep it a secret from everyone? Should I tell my significant other in the future about this or should I keep it as a secret? Am I a bad person if I want to keep it as a secret. I feel guilty for keeping it as a secret. What should I do?

Has anyone unistalled tiktok and was it better for your mental health in general? Idk if this is considered reassurance but I'm actually just curious.

Does OCD affect holding down jobs? Does anyone know. Lost my job today trying to see if there's any correlation

is it normal for someone with non-sexual related trauma to be afraid of sex and relationships? i am almost 22 and have never had sex or been in a serious relationship. the vulnerability of it all is so overwhelming for me. so much that i almost feel detached from it. it’s hard hearing about my friends losing their virginity when i am one that is so afraid of that. it makes me feel like something is wrong with me. that of course triggers my ocd..really bad. like i said, i have a lot of trauma but none of it is sex related. i just feel like there’s something wrong with me..