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Hey everyone so one thing I was wondering is what people do with items they think are contaminated. I know I will never use the item again but I don’t wanna throw it away. I’m unsure of what to do?? :(

Esto va a ser en español ya que ns mucho de inglés. Tengo toc q yo sepa desde hace unos 2/3 años aunque no sabía q lo tenía y me di cuenta hace bastante poco (3/4 meses) hasta hace un mes o dos, mi toc era muy muy fuerte, llegando a estar hasta 1 o 2 horas seguidas haciendo rituales mentales y físicos y eso no era todo, después de todos esos rituales , tenía q seguir haciendo unos cuantos más, a todas las horas del dia, todos los dias. Hace poco empezé a ver unos vídeos sobre el toc q me ayudaron bastante, q decian q pasara lo q pasara no hiciese compulsiones (pasara lo q pasara) y así fue. Eso lo llevo mucho mejor ya q no hago casi "rituales" excepto el q voy a contar ahora. Mi único problema actual q no sé si considerarlo ritual o no, (sólo tengo este problema) es q por ejemplo, a veces pienso q despues de ducharme o levantarme o comer o lo q sea tengo q mirar el móvil o sino todo lo q hago se contamina (se q no tiene nada de sentido y q es irracional) pero esto me provoca mucha mucha ansiedad. No se cómo gestionar esto ya q si miro el móvil nada mas ducharme es por el toc, pero si lo hago tarde tmbn pienso q es por el toc pq como q estoy tratando de evitar algo. Y si después de ducharme sigo una rutina normal, no se quita de mi cabeza el pensamiento ese de mirar el móvil pa q no se contamine lo q haga 😂😂 La cuestión es q haga lo q haga se puede considerar como una compulsión. Intento llevar eso lo más normal posible pero hasta q no miro el puto móvil no se me quita eso de la cabeza y como ya he dicho antes, no quiero hacerlo lo más rápido posible pq se q es por el toc. Ese es el único "ritual" si se puede llamar así q no se cómo gestionar y la verdad q vivo bastante mejor q antes con todo lo q hacía pero quiero liberarme ya de todo este puto infierno sea como sea. Cualquier comentario para saber como gestionsr esto se agradece. Gracias

I’m newly diagnosed with ocd. The onset of my symptoms started a little over a month ago on vacation. I have harm and real event ocd which has sent me down a spiral for a few weeks as the two subtypes work together in convincing me my themes are really true. I didn’t become aware of the possibility that I had ocd until a week after my symptoms started due to the fact that ocd is portrayed so differently in media/movies. I’m beginning to think that my OCD has been with me longer than I imagined and possibly started in my childhood. I had a serious fear of myself and others vomiting especially in school. I can recall two times where my peers vomiting in school caused me to panic. Once I even ran out of the classroom and hid in one of the private bathrooms in elementary school because someone had vomited. As I’ve gotten older I have become somewhat tolerant of seeing others puke but it still startles me. I have a fear of being sick myself and have always been obsessed with tracking who has the stomach flu. A few months prior I was exposed to someone that had it without knowing it and refused to eat a large meal because I was convinced I was gonna have it the next day. I want to make it clear that while I don’t like respiratory illnesses I usually don’t have the intense anxiety and fear of cold and flu stuff. It seems to just be contagious gastrointestinal diseases (Norovirus). Another thing that I’m not sure about is how I am in relationships. Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. I have always been extremely worried that he’s going to cheat on me or go behind my back. Well both download the Life360 app because we often drive to see each other and make sure we get home safely and because he wanted to reassure me that he wasn’t doing anything behind my back. This app became my go-to to check his location because I constantly worried. I also freaked out over the smallest “clue” that I would misconstrue and think he was definitely cheating to the point where I was absolutely convinced and at times was ready to walk out. He would literally go the extra mile and give me literal proof that he was innocent but yet I still ended up at square one. I feel incredibly horrible when i ruminate and think about how he felt because Ik he was innocent. It makes me feel like I don’t deserve someone as good as him. He’s been with me every step of the way since my ocd really started. Ik it’s probably just me being super insecure but at the same time I’ve just been diagnosed with ocd and my rumination has often brought me back to moments in life where maybe it was ocd type stuff. Ofc after a while I became convinced that I’m just an absolute horrible person and that I don’t deserve anything and that I have something else other than ocd and it validates everything. I’ve actually had a good few days and have been productive since this first started but I feel like I have something in my mind pulling me back and reminding me that I HAVE TO think about it or else I don’t care and that it’s all true. I also believe I don’t actually have it and just manipulate my way into the diagnosis even though I feel like a prisoner in my own mind.

I had dentist appointment yesterday and I had so much panic attack I tried to control my anxiety but it got worse my mind kept telling to run outside and cancel my appointment but I sit there I told my mind nope I need my teeth done so if something happens then let it happen I accept the anxiety and it went away but I felt terrible after when I got home I see I got a little cut inside my lips and tongue then I got worry what if I get hiv from that I had to google if dentist clean their tools or use new one I m still afraid that will get a serious issue also I have tmj flare up I didn’t want to do my teeth because of the fear of what if that cause me more tmj or other issue no reassurance just telling you how was my day yesterday

I was sick for a week like two weeks ago and I sneezed a lot in my room. I have an idol of God on my desk (I'm Hindu), but every time I sneezed, I did not sneeze in the direction of the idol and I sneezed in my elbow. After I stopped being sick and today, I washed my sheets and sanitized the electronics and things that were around me when I sneezed. However, my OCD is convincing me that the sneeze particles traveled to the idol and contaminated it with "negative energy." And I ran out of tissues and I can't clean the idol and it feels like the idol is contaminated. But I'm trying to justify it by saying I sneezed in a different direction. And if I sneeze in the future, does that mean I have to clean the idol each time (that's how I'm trying to rationalize not cleaning the idol) But I feel so anxious like I have to clean the idol and idk what to do

How do you deal with ocd and laundry. Sometimes I forget I put laundry detergent in. I fight my ocd and put the clothes in the dryer but then I freak out briefly that I didn’t put detergent in and ruined the dryer. I wish I could have a camera to record me putting detergent in. Also, does anyone battle washing something potentially contaminated with other clothing. What do you tell yourself to get over these irrational thoughts

My hands are so damaged from washing them , any tips from anyone I wash them so much because they don’t feel clean enough or I don’t want certain germs from something I’ve touched They have gone dry and sore with cuts and are bleeding

Hi Guys. So I’m having a bad week. I used to have HIV fear but it got a lot better. Anyways for work we take residents into the community for activities. This week we took them to the snowball stand. I had my snowball with me the whole time. But I noticed blood on my ice cream so I asked my friend to look to see if I was bleeding. She said she saw a red spot in my mouth but couldn’t confirm I was bleeding. Then as I continued to eat I noticed more smeared like blood on my spoon. I didn’t know what to do so I kept eating thinking the blood had to be mine. Long story short, after intrusive thoughts popped in and I was like what if one of the residents put their spoon in my snowball and switched spoons with me and I didn’t know and the blood was from them? My rational brain tells me this isn’t possible as I had my snowball with me the whole time and would have noticed but my irrational brain is like what if. My husband said I’m being absurd as I would have noticed. Also the odds of them bleeding from their mouth would be low. Later I looked at my mouth and I had what looked like a cut/busted lip. I’m freaking out about hiv although I know I’m probably catastrophizing and blowing this up. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before so it scared me 😭😭 has anyone ever experienced something like this before or can you give me advice?

Hi, I’m Cede. I am 15 years old and I’m greatly concerned if I have OCD. I do so many things that relate to others with OCD, and find myself constantly matching symptoms of it. But I feel like if I bring this up to my mother she will tell me I’m making it all up in my head, or say something stupid like “it’s because of that darn phone” I was hoping to find people here who do have OCD and see what their thoughts are. And hopefully find my answer. These things have been happening as long as I can remember. They started out as a few things but now they’re building and getting worse. Stuff I do that I believe is OCD related: -When I was younger and believed in good and praying, I would have to triple check I prayed for all my family and friends. Or I thought they would die. I would panic every night. (Age 4-9?) -When praying I would also pray that specific things wouldn’t happen to me. Ex: “dear god, please don’t let me get kidnapped tomorrow” -I got into a car crash when I was younger while I was asleep, ever ever since then I wouldn’t allow myself to fall asleep because I thought me sleeping caused us to crash -I would (still do) see the spray paint on cement and imagine if the line extended. I would have to avoid those spots or I’d feel panicked or think a bad thing was soon to come -I skip count by 2’s, 5’s, and 10’s when anxious, or something like it. -I have to hold my breath while crossing the street because I think something bad will happen if I breathe before I’m across -I have to run half way across a street before a certain light changes otherwise I’m convinced Doom is released upon me -I will randomly feel dirty in my body. Typically my hands. I will wash and wash them till the “bad” is gone. -I have the habit of over showering because I feel like when I sleep “bad” is layered all over me and showering will get it off -when making a timer for something it needs to only be “good” numbers (minutes) with a “good”number for the seconds. Ex: 11 min and 44 seconds -Numbers, Colors, Letters, and shapes all are split into feeling “good” or “bad” ex: 6 is very bad. It’s like a dirty feeling almost -I refuse to go into stores that feel “bad” or “dirty”. Like the AIR feels dirty to me, even if I know it’s clean -If I push my bedroom door shut before it closes I need to run to a carpet and stand on only my right leg or get to my stairs or I feel like something bad will happen -I will rewrite a letter or something till it feels it’s done “just right” -when walking on tiles I can’t step on lines. But also I don’t like how they’re spaced. My right foot is always stepping on one part of them and my left on another. It’s not fairly balanced. And that causes me to rewalk or step there again. And it causes me to panic and sometimes tear up. -if I only get one hand wet I need to get the other just as wet before drying them off or I can’t leave the place I’m in. -if one nail breaks on one hand ex:pointer on right, I need to cut the other one down to that length as well. Or I can’t function -when I’m sick I convince myself I’m going to die in my sleep (I’m literally sick rn and refusing to go to bed because I’m convinced my family will find me dead) -I have asthma and I sometimes think it gets so bad I’ll want to write “I love you” notes to my family because I’m going to die from not breathing in my sleep -I think I forgot something so I have to check it a few times to make sure I have it or done something -I won’t take medication unless my mother gets it for me, because I think I’ll accidentally over dose. And sometimes I’ll be worried to take it even from her (Tw for these because they’re intrusive thoughts) -I’ll be looking at my dog or a little kid and have the most vivid and violent visions of them. Ex: I will see myself bashing my dogs brain with my foot -I will have intrusive thoughts if me specializing myself to older adults, even family. Like guys. I don’t even want to give an example because it’s disgusting.. -I’ll get intrusive thoughts of me unaliving myself and writing su’cide letters to people -I will get an intrusive thought of me taking too much medication There’s still so much, but I’m sick and tired. If anyone who has OCD can let me know if it sounds like I have it please tell me. I want to figure this out. Have a good day! -Cd

How do you guys deal with emotional contamination?

My contamination ocd has been awful lately. My hands are completely raw from washing, I'm out of hand sanitizer so I have to wash them all the time. I'm constantly rewashing clothes and changing my clothes because they feel dirty so I can't wear them anymore, and it's so stressful because I don't know what to do about it anymore. I go through an entire bottle of soap in less than a week, and some people are getting really mad about it. My hands hurt and I'm stressed out and I have no idea what to do.

I’ve always had a feeling of having OCD but I’ve never been sure. I’m a teenager, and I’m hoping people on this app can help me try to figure out if I have OCD or I’m just crazy. Starting off with these terrible thoughts I have all the time. Someone can come home late and I immediately think they got into a car wreck, and check my phone for recent car crashes and other thing etc. etc. number 2, I always have intrusive thoughts, terrible ones ever since I was a kid I can’t control. I immediately feel like thinking these will lead god to hate me, and that he made an imperfection on me. And every time I try to hide these thoughts away, like right now they’re coming out I just can’t stop thinking of them and it’s so hard to do anything. Just thoughts like, “you hate your mom” or, “you hate god” and stuff that scares me like spiders. It’s hard to do anything with these thoughts. I’m also a major perfectionist, if anything is out of order I freak out. Yes, my room is messy. But I feel a sense of incompleteness and anxiety if I don’t empty the dishwasher, or don’t clean dirty dishes around the sink. These are recent and I feel like God will punish me for committing the sin of laziness. I also have a thing with the number 5, when I touch something it needs to be 5 times and if it’s not 5 times I freak out. I’m also terrified of getting sick, every time my friend is sick I freak out and don’t get near them the entire day, constantly washing my hands. Writing this is triggering a lot of my terrible thoughts and I don’t want to continue writing. Please let me know your thoughts, mental illness runs in my family but my mom is constantly telling me there’s nothing wrong with me. Maybe she’s right.

I'm up trying not to wash the sheets at someone's house I am spending the night in, wondering about germs and if their AirPod case that I was asked to move to the nightstand is dirty enough to the point that I should wash my hands. I'm exhausted but my brain will not let me relax enough to go to sleep and I'm tired of OCD ruining things like this for me.

My ocd is so big right now I fear rabies, if it’s not that I can’t eat because of fear of allergic reaction, or fentanyl anxiety … i just showered twice in a row in 6 hours and had endless rituals and still feeling horrible. Washed the bed still feel it’s contaminated. I’ve been re washing my clothes over and over the last 4 weeks. Now I have only a shirt left to wear. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t stop. The biggest is this fear of bats. Tonight I showered again because there was something red on the white towel. Triggered me but i tried ignoring then I put on a sweater and felt something was there ( a bat) you know it could be hiding… then I hear noises that trigger me could be one too. I look in my drawers and kick everything to see if one is hiding in my room or bathroom. Every day changes. Monday I’m great and manage well , Tuesday I toss my entire room in the washer or wash my skin raw. I just showered again and then washed my phone just to see foam on me and my mind immediately bat rabies… I scrubbed so hard I am aching. And another trigger is when I am sad and feel lonely. My relationship is none. I need to find a way out of this misery life of mine.

Hi there, I'm new to this site and just starting therapy with nocd. I have a therapist outside of nocd that specializes in ocd with cognitive behavior therapy, sound baths, rapid eye movement and hypnosis in particular. She is amazing, she doesn't force me to do things that bring me panic, and I have come a long way with allowing myself limited exposure therapy on my own terms. My husband is at the end of the line dealing with my "control" issues with contamination worries. I have begged for couples therapy so he could maybe understand that I didn't choose this and that the panic is so severe that I don't have a choice but to cave into my fears, but he wants no part of it and thinks there is nothing wrong with him or thinks he's been understanding. Backstory is that I had my ocd well managed until I was pregnant with my little one and he was diagnosedwith a heart defect in utero. Diagnosis changed at birth and we were thrown head first into a very serious and immediate trauma. We were life flighted out of state, hand washed like crazy, had complication after complication, no sleep, handed my 5 day old baby over to a surgeon I had met 3 times for open heart surgery. 17 days of living in a hospital and beeping machines and intense fear that goes so far beyond what you could ever imagine as a first time parent. Flash forward to finally coming off ng feeding tube, tongue tie clip, partially paralyzed left diaphragm, oxygen dependent until 4 months old, pulse ox until 9 month old. Back to work at only 3 months. To say it was traumatic is a huge understatement. Flash forward again 3 years, husband hospital and diagnosed with heart failure not to mention how bad things got with worry during covid. I just don't know how to get it through to him how hard I am trying, how much I hate this, how awful the panic attacks are if I don't cave. My most overwhelming fear is of mice and hantavirus and we have had mice problems in out house th3 entire time hes lives here. Remodeled kitchen 3 years ago, so none in the house, but not so confident about the garage and yard. I freak out if he wabts to work in the yard or inbthe garage, make him shower, wash clothes 2-3 times, I clean his path from the door to shower while hes showering and then shower myelf. I want to get better, but he wants it like overnight. Any advise on things that have helped you make people in your life understand where you are coming from and where your heart is? I don't want to end my marriage, but I have been there for him through thick and thin and he's basically giving me an ultimatum that I can't fulfill at this time, and I can't promise him that I will ever be 100% either, but I'm giving all that I can. He thinks I've made zero progress and that I'm not trying at all. I'm feeling lost and sad. It's exhausting andbI know he feels like a prisoner, but I am terrified all the time. I can recognize that it's irrational and mostly unlikely, but hantavirus does kill people and we have that type of mice in our state not too far away. It is not a problem here, but I'm stuck on this fear and I cannot budge from it. It irrational but also not worth my sons life so in my mind totally rational, he's only 6 and getting closer and closer to his 2nd open heart surgery. Sorry, that was a book.

I've struggled with emetophobia my entire life, and when I was in 4th grade I got the stomach flu and was sick one night. It caused me to have severe intrusive thoughts around eating, being around other people, traveling, not being clean enough, and more. Over 16 years I got so much better, and thought I was basically "recovered". I was wrong 🙃 about 2 weeks ago, I got another stomach bug and was sick (threw up) for the first time since 4th grade and I relapsed back to that point. I've lost more than 10 pounds in less than 2 weeks because I have barely been eating, I've been struggling to go back to work, and I can't go 12 hours without having an anxiety attack.

hello, does anyone have any advice i’m a compulsive hand washer who obsesses about germs and as a result my hands have become very sore and cracked and even bleed sometimes and it hurts to bend my hands has anyone got any things that helped to reduce this compulsion as it’s causing pain now.

Someone who was sick made food for me but I didn't eat it because they were sick but I don't want to waste the food because that would be disrespectful as they took their time to make it. I just don't want to take the risk of eating it and then getting sick. I hate getting sick. I don't know what to do about this.

I have been going over how my ocd will affect a future relationship. The things I struggle with in my OCD is cleaning and contamination. There are times where when I feel at my worst, I have to wash any cooking or eating utensil/dish/pan/pot multiple times. I think the max amount of times I have washed a single bowl alone in one wash is 17 times. That's just a bowl. I also when cleaning use gloves that they use at doctor's offices and/or hospitals. It helps me to feel like I won't need to wash or complete a compulsion(s). So my question is would I be enabling myself or no because I am constantly going over in my head what I should be doing or not being doing and it's always so exhausting.

Receiving the email congratulating me on 6 months was a pleasant surprise this morning. When I was notified that I received my conquerer badge back in October, I was feeling pessimistic and not nice towards my progress, so I didn’t share it. But, I’ll share this achievement. I was finally diagnosed with OCD at 31. I’ve been in therapy with NOCD for a little over 2 years. When I started ERP, I went in blind, not knowing what to expect. The work was really, really hard. I had to learn how to undo years of mental compulsions and OCD-related habits. I was constantly tired, scared, and mentally exhausted. I took life day by day. If you’re in ERP, you’re probably familiar with the pattern of starting an exposure, feeling really scared, doing all of the hard work, until that exposure gets easier and easier, and you cross it off your list. Then you start the next one. My journey was sitting in my car for my therapy sessions, going to work after, and doing my exposures during the week. I cried often, i got frustrated with myself for not doing my exposures “perfectly,” for not being able to do things like a “normal” person. But then, I noticed changes. I realized instead of just feeling fear, or apprehension—I was also feeling that I could get through the exposures. My mindset went from “I don’t want to do this, it’s too much, I miss my comfort zone of compulsions,”—to “ugh, I don’t want to do my homework, but I will-because I know this is my way through.” Here is what I can do now, in my life, that I could not do years ago: I can use public restrooms. I can drive further than 20 minutes on the freeway. I drove about 4 hours all together last weekend. I can drive at night again. I used to love it, ocd took it away from me, but I took it back. I drove in the pouring rain on the freeway today, and I forgot to be scared. I joked with my friend instead as I drove. I care so much less about what people think of me, in small moments (how I look being new to the gym, how I appear in public doing simple things). When thoughts of death come up, I can dismiss them. I’m not afraid to be around my grandmother (I feared emotional contamination for years and years and years). I still have hard days. Last month, I thought I was going to relapse. Starting medication was really hard, because of the unknown. But here’s the magic of ERP—you develop the skills, and you don’t lose them. I worked through my fears of relapse over a new theme, I was honest with my therapist-and I bounced back. I bounced back so much quicker than I thought I would. I still struggle with grief, of things ocd took a hold of. I’m still working on acceptance. But I’m finding my values and living my life according to them. I can be my authentic self. Wherever you are at in your journey-you will find the peace you’re looking for. You are all more than your OCD. If you haven’t found that yet, you will. And I can’t wait to hear about it.