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Is it normal to have a lot more intrusive thoughts when you’re stressed and irritated? I noticed that I have a lot more harm thoughts against people when I am annoyed and they feel so real in these moments and I scare myself

Anyone else scared to stop compulsions incase the thoughts come true? This is why I’m reluctant to do ERP 🙈!

How were you able to finally take the risk that you could be a horrible human being or could have done horrible things? How were you able to do it? That’s where I am struggling. I totally get the concept of a thought is a thought and it’s not dangerous. But if what I fear is true, it would be horrendous and I’m so scared to let go. I’m so scared to take the chance that I could be a monster. So if you have any advice for how you were able to let go and take the risk, I would love to hear it. Each time I try, I just get more scared and revert back.

Im constantly being terrorised at night by thoughts like „what if I’m just gonna hurt somebody at night?“/ „what if I wanna act on my thoughts?“/ „what if my thoughts mean I actually want them and am capable of committing them?“ and like this has driven me to lock my room and store my key in Amy wardrobe and having to tape my wardrobe shut so that k can be sure I hadn’t opened my room. I don’t know what to do, does anybody have any good tips? Because it’s always that if I don’t lock them, the next day I’ll wake up being scared tk have hurt sb and that keeps feeding into my false memory obsession that I currently have :/

I lost my temper this morning because I can’t get into a routine with my meds. If I taje them late or early I’m in a bad mood for a lot of the day. I went full on street with a man over 70Rs which is about 50c US or 60p UK. I started having thoughts I’d end up in jail. I’m pretty sure I have ADHD so it is hard to take them at the exact time. I have an alarm set but I usually have left the house by the time it goes off. I’m also having thoughts that I’m getting psychosis. I have to figure out which hospital in this city has a psychiatric department so I can discuss my meds with someone. If I do take them on time for a while I feel amazing. 🤷‍♂️ I just wonder if anyone relates.

I just got out of therapy a little over an hour ago and it was exhausting. I talked about intrusive thoughts that are so dark and unforgiving that I've never shared them with anyone before. Now I'm feeling lightheaded and almost in shock that I said them out loud to someone. Thoughts that sound (to me) psychopathic. I legit feared making my therapist believe I'm a danger to myself or others by being so honest about the way the thoughts make me feel Now I'm feeling the same way I've only felt once before, shortly after learning that I have OCD: I'm painfully aware that I have OCD and it scares me that I'm always going to have it. It feels like I woke up from a bad dream only to realize reality's even worse I hate the way OCD affects my thinking. And I hate that I can get so used to the thought patterns that I essentially forget that I have OCD. Reminders like this almost allow me to see my OCD as external to me and I'm repulsed by it

As we all know having anxiety is annoying because you could be completely relaxed and then all of a sudden your mind goes “boom” and you start feeling a sense of unease and panic. I ended up falling asleep and woke up the next morning feeling okay , and then around 2pm I had the thought “I want to kill myself” I ignored it because that’s something I don’t want to do. I have no desire to , and I’ve never struggled with thoughts of suicide, but then I had the thought again , and again and again and again. My body started shaking , and I knew it was my friend OCD coming in with another theme to scare the shit out of me. At first I gave into some compulsions to alleviate the thought , but I knew it would come back regardless so I decided to clean up, go for a walk and eat some food. I had to treat the thought as just that. A thought. Although my brain compulsively tried to search for reasons as to why the thought was valid aka (mental compulsions) I still knew deep down it was not something I wanted to do. It wasn’t linear. Mind you this was all happening in one day. It’s exhausting dealing with this disorder most days. Thankfully some of my anxiety behind the thought subsided and I think it’s because I didn’t take it seriously. As someone who is deeply afraid of death why the fuck would I want to cause it myself.

when did ocd start for everyone? i remember having some small like perfection things like if i didn’t close my eyes and fall asleep at a certain number then i would die. but at age 12 hocd started and i got groinal repsonsss,guilt,everything. it slowed down then in august picked up at full speed and its awful.

I’m so angry right now. I saw a quote of a tweet and I didn’t know what it was about. I opened the tweet and saw p0rn. People were talking about ages, cps, etc etc. I was like ?????????? I checked underneath the tweet bc I KNOW someone In following did not repost cp. I have no clue what it’s about but I’m so scared right now like what the FUUUUUUUUUCK. What’s if that’s what I saw? And what if when I opened it again (I didn’t look, I was trying to see what people were talking about because I was confused and I hoped it wasn’t cp and that it was just my OCD). But oh my god. I unfollowed the person. They’re just a girl who’s my age and we both like astrology. So I’m like??????? I really hate ts like omg this is my 13th reason

Today I woke up with an intrusive thought of being scared to have hurt my dog when I was last downstairs. Then I went through everything that I remembered from the night to prove that everything was always alright. But then suddenly I got the intrusive thought „what if I had hurt my little sister when k woke up one time at 4 am?“ and like, before this thought I remembered everything from 4 am really clearly. I woke up bc of noise coming from outside of my room and thought that it might already be 6 am so I looked at the clock to realise it wasn’t. I then realised that it wasn’t 6 am yet and then I don’t know what exactly had happened but at some point my AirPods were next to me and I was looking for their case to charge them but saw it was on the table and I was too lazy to get up so I just let them stay there. I was still hearing the noise which was my little sister crying bc she probably felt ill idk. My mother was there. I know that my little sister had been in my mothers room all the time basically. And then I went back to sleep. I can’t remember anything else after that anymore, probably bc I was sleeping. But I keep being like „but what if my mother had brought my little sister to her room and I hurt her then?“ and like idk if this even makes sense at all bc my mother has like this camera thing whenever she’s not in the same room as my little sister and has it on full volume. This only just now, after hours of ruminating, clicked in my head. Like, she def would’ve heard if I had hurt her right? And from what I remember, she had spent the entire night in my mums room anyway. Like I genuinely don’t remember standing up, nothing. But even when I resist ruminating, the thought won’t leave me. Like it’s this pitch in my stomach. This pitch telling me „what if it’s true though? Why do you not feel bad? What if it’s actually real and you really forgot doing this and now those are your memories and you don’t even feel bad abt it? Would you live with the thought having done this? Are you capable of doing this?“ and it won’t leave me. Like it makes me feel as it this is actually a real memory. But I didn’t remember this even when I got the thought. Like it’s all powered by „what if“s. I keep being told that not ruminating will give a sense of logic back but no matter how many times I’m like „yea no don’t ruminate, later you will have your logic back and you’ll be able to think abt this as irrational“ but it feels as if I’m further away from the truth than I was the first time I replayed my memories. It’s as if ruminating completely messed up my memories. I don’t know anymore, this feeling is making me doubt whether it’s not actually true deep down and I just lost control over myself at night. Like I remembered the night so well the first time I was replaying it. Had No doubts over this. Maybe if this thought won’t leave I’ll ask my mother but I don’t want to distress her but at the same time I just need to know. I generally always wake up with such fears. One time I was scared to have lost control over my brain at night and if I had just watched illegal videos and forgot abt it (turned out wrong of course after checking my screen time so), then 188273 times I was scared to have hurt my dog and now this. Like I think she was with my mother but now I’m not sure anymore. By now I’m yet again back at having to lock my door at night to make sure I don’t have to worry abt hurting others.

I don’t even know if I have ocd but recently, I started to get these intrusive thoughts whenever I talk to someone. Like I think of saying something very mean or harmful (which I obviously don’t want to say). This has made me lose a lot of my confidence and makes it difficult for me to talk to people. Nowadays I try so hard to think of the right thing to say that it’s made me take too long to respond to someone. It makes me seem boring and not fun. It sucks because my entire life I never had this problem. I used to be so funny and happy. I used to talk a lot and was very extroverted. I loved to talk. Now I don’t know who I am or who I want to be anymore. I don’t know how to talk to people anymore. This all started when I started college. I just want my old self back.

Hii! I hesitated before posting this but here I am.. Ocd are a living hell rn to me. I barely eat or sleep anymore because of it, I’m just scared of everything, ruminations are here every night leading to panic attacks, sh, psychosis,.. it’s like « what if I’m/or do something bad, what if I did something wrong and I don’t remember,.. I store my studies because of all of this..I can’t do this anymore I’m so tired of compulsions and everything I have more ocd but rn it’s the most debilitating for me, if someone have experienced the same things or just have tips I take it!

I was doing okay, but reading someone’s post really triggered me because they were talking about how they wanted to end their life. It scared me and I’ve just been anxious about it. Would this count as an ERP exercise I guess since it is exposing myself to the problem? They were saying how they don’t want to deal with their OCD and then it made me go like is that how I am feeling but i love my life i love my friend’s and family and I am having trouble trying to figure out how to not ruminate and just sitting with the anxiety of it. Any tips please?

I’ve been dealing with OCD for quite some time, and have had plenty of themes come and go. Some lasting years and some months. I have three major themes that still haunt me. They’re this constant dread of death, my moral dilemma of if I’m a good person, and recently my gender identity as a man. They all tie into each other and I more or less look at them as evolved forms of “conquered” themes. Like my self harm, Sexual Orientation, and pedophilic/assault themes. Death is a hard thing to accept though and I no longer have too many intrusive about harming myself or others for that matter because I’m constantly afraid of death. I don’t feel like a good person for my constant compulsions and compulsive behavior. I feel weak to them. I give in to my constant googling and forum browsing. I know for a fact I ask for reassurance constantly. I question my own sexuality and gender identity quite often because I’m not sure if I’m a good man and how could I prove that I am? I have a lot of compulsive regrettable and more importantly unproductive sexual encounters to make me feel like 1. I’m not gonna die 2. I can do something with my life that isn’t destructive 3. I’m a man doing my duty. Now for the gender identity portion of this I wanna make it clean that I love people from the LGBTQ+ community and support them 1000% but I feel like I’m a horrible person for being anxious and uncomfortable with these thoughts because nothing’s wrong with being gay or trans y’know?It’s either what if I’m in denial or what if I’m being too feminine y’know the whole “what ifs” thing? I don’t wanna die, I wanna be a good person. I am genuinely just scared, I just wanna live and not have the noise so loud. I mean I have panic attacks constantly. I try not to ruminate but it’s an ugly battle. It seems to me that my OCD flares up moth to month like I’ll have a good month of manageable intrusive thoughts but then the next moth I just decay. You know how many times I’ve scanned my mind just to find proof for and against all these themes? I’m sure some people can relate. OCD has made my life so isolated and I hate myself for that. I’m sorry for all the words, I’m just a mess right now. If you read this far I appreciate you so much.

So with my ocd I have realized that over the years my obsessions switch out like one week I’ll obsess over this and the next week I’ll obsess over that. I have one obsession that really scares me and it’s zombies because I’m severely terrified of them. I know it sounds childish but it’s making it hard for me. I feel embarrassed being scared of them. I’m currently obsessing about them now. I’m so scared of them and the walking dead show. A couple years ago I watched it till season 4 and I was fine the entire time. Then I realized how terrified I was getting so I stopped. Now it’s just a cycle that I can’t get to go away. And I have this cycle with many other obsessions too. I just wanted to talk about it to let it off my chest. I think it scares me because I also obsess over death and sounds like alarms. Alarms scare me as well. It’s just really taking a tool on me so I wanted to share. :)

I’m having very bad anxiety/ocd about myself as a mom. I struggle with harm ocd but have gotten SO much better. But of course, it always finds a way to show up. I have a 3 year old and sometimes when he gives me a hug, I don’t get the “warm and fuzzies” and that’s bothering me so bad. I asked my husband if he does every time and he said yes. So now I’m really freaking anxious that it must mean I’m a bad mom or I don’t love my son because I don’t always feel that way when we hug. Now because I’m paying attention to that, when we hug.. I focus the whole time on if I feel it or not which then I feel like ruins it. I know all of this probably sounds silly. But I’m just bothered that I don’t feel that.

i was extremely scared today, a bunch of little kids were around me and i was scared to be near anyone because i would do something horrible. i feel like a terrible person that no one would want to be around. i don’t deserve this support, i just want to be rid of these terrible disgusting thoughts.

I had another OCD dream related to the death of a loved one and I’ve been in bed for 6 hours ruminating or trying to neutralize my thoughts and anxieties. I want to get out of bed but I feel so. Stuck. I know I can do it but it feels like I can’t! My brain thinks it can solve the puzzle but now I know that’s a lie. But it still feels so hard!!!

So this recent situation I’ve been having and it’s really scary and almost doesn’t feel real that I would be able to think this. So I’ve been with my partner for over 4 years now and recently I kinda got into some trouble that been super stressful and the last week on Saturday or Friday night i had a terrible dream or “thought” that I stabbed my partner and since that day it’s been an on going thing and at the slight thought of it my heart shoots up and I just get into a intense panic and I’ll have to convince myself it’s just a thought and I wouldn’t ever do it and we recently got engaged and she’s my world and has been my saving grace for every situation I got myself in (I have hobby’s of racing cars and motorcycles and a year ago I got into a motorcycle accident that put me in almost a month long coma and got a severe tbi due to it) and she’s been there through every step of the way with that and I just couldn’t fathom as to why I would even have that thought and why all of a sudden I’m a nervous wreck when I have never been the super panic type or anything. Had history of depression and anxiety but nothing to this degree. Also I’ve never had recurring thoughts that just slammed out of nowhere and got stuck for days. Unless it was with a car or motorcycle or something impulsive where it would give me gratification and this is none of those areas I feel deep remorse and guilt for even having those thoughts. She’s soon to be my wife I just engaged to her and I cannot believe this is even a thing to happen to me.. just in a panic and not sure what’s going on.

I have been having memory obsessions a ton lately and like I once had an image of hurting somebody but I know that this would’ve been somewhere in 2023. But ever since I got over the fear to have hurt them there, I then keep getting fears related to his image and thinking „but what if I had hurt them way earlier?“. Like just now I was recalling the vacation I was on in 2022. I already had ocd there. And like suddenly I got scared „what if I had hurt the person while I was on vacation there?“ bc I was in the same room as them there. Not the exact same one, there was a door in between bc the room had a a room with a big bed too but I was sleeping on the couch. But now I keep thinking „but what if I was alone with them and then hurt them in this way and just forgot doing that?“, but no matter how much I think, I can remember almost everything from the vacation and being in that room. I also know I once was in the room with the bigger bed. But I can’t recall being alone there. I was always there with my sister. She was often around the other person, I was barely around them and especially not alone. And like the person was always with my parents so there basically are no occasions that I could’ve been the only one around them. But I keep thinking „but what if I just forgot this?“, but the image that I had a while ago doesn’t even match the hotel room. And like this has happened multiple times already. Just constantly me thinking „but what if I did this here or way longer ago?“, but there are simply no occasions this could’ve happened. And wouldn’t I at least have some memory to doing this since I seem to have a ton of other memories? And now I’m scared that the images are suddenly memories but I never remembered this and I also don’t have any actual clear picture of that just the old image that I always have.