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I have like 3 doctor appointments and dentist and I m so anxious about it I want to go to find out what’s wrong with some symptoms I have at the same time I don’t want to go because I m scared of bad news I feel like I can’t handle bad news

I recently saw a tiktok about rabies and now I can't stop thinking about it. I'm so scared a bat bit me and I didn't notice and now I have rabies. I haven't seen a bat in a long time and in my country there hasn't been a case since 2018. But I'm so scared what if I have it or what if I get it. What if I wake up tomorrow and I have hydrophobia(one of the symptoms). I can't stop thinking about this:(

hi everyone found this app out of desperation, because i realized i never really had control of my ocd. ironically most of my ocd triggers revolve around being out of control. i have recently noticed that the stress i’m under is taking a physical toll on my body. to the point where last night i spent 5 hours in the emergency room because i was convinced i was having a heart attack and had a blood clot that was killing me. it was heart burn. i had to get an iv which is another phobia i have, needles. which i’ve been inadvertently doing my own exposure therapy due to my extreme health anxiety and needing to have tests done. every headache is an aneurism, every cough is a blood clot, every pain is cancer, tender breasts during my period is cancer, etc etc. i just turned 30. the age everyone tells you you’re too young but you know that’s not really true. so says my ocd. because if they say i’m too young i’m the exception. and besides! KIDS get cancer and die every day, why not me. so after they tell me it’s not a heart attack, it’s not a blood clot-after an xray, blood test, ekg, the next day the heart burn i’ve been experiencing for three days straight starts to lessen. go figure. talk about irony. the thing i’m afraid of is causing the thing i’m afraid of. and what’s worse is it genuinely seems logical. when you have people on the internet telling you, that’s how my sister died, and women’s heart attack symptoms look different! and if i stopped now (if i stopped caring) in my eyes, the odds are that i’ve gone this long without anything being wrong, of course when i stop compulsively checking, researching, going to the dr, looking for reassurance, that’s when it would happen. boom dead. and i can’t sleep, but lack of sleep can make you sick, damages your brain. and i can’t eat, but lack of calories you cant think, your body can’t function. and when i can eat, it’s too much, i have stomach pain, my intestines don’t work, it’s definitely colon cancer! speaking of which that DOES run in my family. and so like i do i wanted a colonoscopy and everyone told me i was too young. but tmi (which i believe we are way past that at this point) i have horrible ibs (cue irony again, stress makes it worse!!) and im severely constipated, which means i get fissures and have hemeroids. aka BLEEDING out of my body. so they said sure, but you’re too young to find anything. well they did, a polyp and they said i’m extremely lucky because it’s so rare to find anything in someone so young. (again young? didn’t people only live till 40 up until a few centuries ago?) anyway so that validated my fears to the point where i’m convinced im physic. my ocd loves it. i don’t believe in god, anymore. when i did it was fuel to my ocd fire. as a little 7 year old i didnt know what ocd was, but i’ve been responsible for the health, death, etc of my friends and family ever since. now that its not praying its through other means like, holding my breath waking up stairs, having to walk evenly on each foot, i honestly dont even have that many examples because its unconscious at this point. i wont even realize im doing it, ill look down and im pressing the tips of my fingers so they all feel even. whatever that means. i try not doing it and i get nauseous. after all it’s not hurting anyone. rather the opposite, im saving lives! please sense my sarcasm here. anyway the list goes on and on. and here i am, 30. “too young” to have any problems. but when i think back to when i was first diagnosed, i think 9 years old. i thought 30 WAS OLD! and you know what, it’s starting to feel too old for this shit. it’s exhausting, aggravating, isolating, anything but good. and i genuinely apologize if any of this is triggering. i just need to get this off my chest. im grateful i have a loving family and partner, but i put so much of this on them. and they don’t know what it’s like and im glad. i downloaded this app and read through the first couple posts and started to cry. of course its sad but more than anything people actually feel the same way as me. i’m not the only one im not alone. that matters to me.

I’m having difficulty sleeping again. My left arm is hurting and I’m experiencing a slight headache. I can rationalize it out but it’s still keeping me up because I’m scared I will die in my sleep. (My arm hurts because of crocheting for hours on end and my headache is from sinuses) I shouldn’t be scared because I know I’ll go to Heaven. But it’s still keeping me up. I think about death then my son and husband and how they would be devastated. And keeps going… Any tips to help me sleep

I am not totally sure and it might be a vitamin called Biotin that is helping my OCD, but Pantothenic Acid has 50 times more concentration of this Vitamin in the brain than in the rest of the body, why is that? It helps even at the molecular level of the body and honestly I don’t fully understand it myself but there has to be a reason that Pantothenic Acid is concentrated 50 times higher in the brain. It helps in Methylation and doctors just starting to understand Methylation and its role in Brain Chemistry….anyway, just thought I would pass this along.

It genuinely feels like this disorder is taking away my whole life. I cant go outside and hangout with the people I love or even be around strangers because my thoughts will include them and I’ll just get really uncomfortable and anxious. It has made me distance myself from so many ppl in my life and made me have thoughts and feelings that I don’t want and that I hate making me feel like a monster and a disgusting person. Sometimes I’m genuinely so close to taking my life. It feels like there’s no hope for me at all and that I’ll be like this forever fighting my own brain till I’m old and on my death bed. I’m supposed to be enjoying my summer but I just can’t. I cant go outside, I can’t go on social media, hell I can’t do anything because there will be a child around that will trigger me into a spiral. I can’t stay all summer locked up in my room and constantly making excuses to not go out. It’s been feeling so real too like I’m really the type of person that I don’t want to be and it’s so scary.

I usually don’t write this much in the detail, but now I’m really scared, please help. So I had this “basic” intrusive thought if you don’t do that that will happen and of course I couldn’t resist and did it. But the problem is the thing I did is to put in mouth just a little (i mean really just a little) body lotion. In the past my I was really scared of getting anything like that in my mouth. Really scared. When I did put (really just a little lotion) in my mouth I immediately spit it out. But then my other side of ocd started acting up and I started to panick. Now i’m VERY scared i’ll get posioned and die. I researched a lot on google, and now I feel like I’m having some of the symthoms. I should go to sleep now, but I can’t forget this. Is there anything to worry about? (thank you for every answer, this is kind of embarrasing)

Does anyone ever think they have some type of serious illness when they get sick? I had the stomach bug on Sunday and I also have a cold and today I still feel nauseous and I have a fever, I have been watching Greys Anatomy while being sick which was not the best idea😭I overthink all the time about having cancer or developing some horrible illness and not being able to live the future I look forward to. I have convinced myself I have something more than a stomach bug and that I’m going to be diagnosed with some type of stage 4 cancer. I do this all the time , not just when I’m sick. It’s starting to affect how I live life, any time I am having fun in life or look forward to what my future could be there’s always “you could have cancer right now and not know it” that absolutely ruins everything for me. I don’t know what to do anymore :(

Hey guys, just wanted to introduce myself my names Matt. I was first diagnosed with ocd at the age of 14. I am 29 years old currently. I really had it bad for awhile then I got out of the hole and saw the light. Now I feel like I'm back in it. I've been inpatient at ocd facilities like mclean and Roger's. I consider myself very fortunate and that's where part of the guilt comes in for whatever reason. I've been supported a lot of my life especially when the ocd was really bad and I couldn't function in society. I got back on my feet but recently experienced rocd for the first time. The fear it instilled in me..im struggling massively at the moment. I find that the intrusive thoughts come in and have a strangle hold on me and the sadness and emptiness that follows. I was diagnosed with depression but its hard to come to terms with it. I feel that the ocd is just so awful now. I have experienced a couple sub types in the past..a big one being harm ocd and health related ocd..contamination to a degree. I used to reread when I was in school and that was hell in itself just trying to chase a feeling of perfectionism. I've done ERP plenty of times in the past but ceased the therapy as I got better. Now I'm seeking therapy through nocd which I've never tried before. I really hope I can get myself on track because it really feels like the weight of the world is on my back. I want to pursue music as it's always been an important tool for coping and connection. I can't explain how it makes me feel it's just amazing. I've been working on my vocals but there are so many barriers right now. I feel so sad and I just want to isolate myself. It's up and down emotionally. I'm adjusting to medication that I discontinued awhile ago and now I'm back on it. It's a slow grind. I literally feel like the stress at work is becoming too much as I'm essentially caring for others when I can barely care for myself right now. I work as a life coach with individuals diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder. I know I'm really bouncing around here on all of subjects but I feel like the more and more I speak up about my diagnosis and spread awareness of ocd the more I'm feared of being misunderstood. I think it's truly another "what if" ocd fear. It is so hard to get a grip on the ocd because the rumination is so bad. To be honest it's hard to open up about ocd in general. I just keep thinking as a male I have to keep it together and I shouldn't be emotional that it's weak. I feel like I was fed that before in my past. I honestly appreciate having a community like this I'm grateful. It's so odd I just want a big hug but at the same time it's too much to be that vulnerable.

Recently my ocd has been directly exasperating my health anxiety and it causes daily panic attacks. I’m tired of feeling like I’m dying every day when I know I’m physically healthy. Does anyone have any coping mechanisms for this?

Hello! I have been dealing with postpartum ocd since right after having my first child in 2017. It started with worrying that someone would drop her. Then I was terrified of her getting sick. All of these symptoms could be shrugged off as being an overly protective new parent. I had my second child in 2019. I used an owlet device to help prevent sudden infant death (SIDS) in our baby. Turns out it did save her life, multiple times. The first time being the day we brought her home. We were told, after many tests and three days, those devices often just cause anxiety. I trusted my gut and continued to use the device which ultimately saved her life a second time when she stopped breathing again. We had to do cpr on her and she spent over a month in neo natal icu, come to find out she had severe central apnea. I feel like this experience reaffirmed my ocd tendencies. If I didn’t obsess over her health and be overly cautious she wouldn’t be here. The whole first year was her being on machines at home and oxygen. She was monitored constantly at home. Now she is a beautiful four year old. She’s strong and healthy and a normal kid. I however, am still a walking ball of dread and fear. I’m terrified of finding her blue in bed. Or even my oldest daughter blue in bed when there’s no reason at all to fear this. I’m terrified of “missing” something and them getting deathly ill. If one of them feels off or is tired my mind goes to “what if they have cancer and I’m missing something.” “What if they have a sinus infection and it turns into meningitis because someone is missing something.” “I am thinking this all the time because they ARE going to die and the universe is preparing me.” I don’t think other people can understand how debilitating this is. Constantly playing out every single scenario in your mind and preventing it from happening. It feels like I am trying to outrun fate every single day. The reality is “fate” is my obsession to keep my children alive when they ARE alive. I’m sorry to vent. I’m not really sure why I’m writing this. Maybe someone understands these feelings. The silver lining I guess is I love my children so much, my mind will solely exist to try and keep them safe. I know that they deserve a mom who lets them live this life outside of a bubble, to live not just to survive. I want so badly to be that for them.

Does anyone suffer from emerophobia? Currently doing exposure therapy and very triggered by it. And also very frustrated to that I’m not “cured” I have the compulsions to ask loved ones “do you think I’ll get sick?” And I need them to say “no”. Well my therapist wants them to say “it’s a possibility” and also tell myself that too. It’s hard. First few days was hard. I broke down a lot and had a ton of anxiety. After a week or so it got Easier. However I felt sick tonight after dinner idk if I was still hungry or anxious or what but I felt nauseous. I tried to tell myself “it’s ok it happens and just because I feel nauseous doesn’t mean I’ll get sick” I was ok but I just ain’t ok. I’m coping the ways I can, took my emergency medicine for anxiety and I’m just doing my coping skills. I’m frustrated because living like this is so draining. Not just the emetophobia but the ocd compulsions, the intrusive thoughts, the looping in your head…People don’t understand they think it’s just “oh I need my refrigerator organized” my house is a mess I can barely keep up with it because of this…. Half the time I’m scared that if I throw away something bad will happen. Resorting into clutter.. I can barely leave my house in the morning cuz I’m afraid my house will burn down, or my cats will get out of the house and I’ll never see them again. Resulting into me being late to work almost every morning. Terrified to go to bed because I’m worried I’ll wake up and get sick, I have to stay awake until a certain time and then it’s safe….😢 anyways I needed to just get this off my chest, and would like to see if anyone else experiences similar things.

last week on tuesday i had a ocular migraine for the first time and it freaked me out. I started wearing my glasses more and when i take them off my vision is more blurry now. I also had a sinus infection that same day i got a ocular migraine, but im continuously scared that it is a brain tumor and that is why my vision is blurry and i’ve been doing clumsy things or accidents for example forgetting something or like anxiety on knowing what to say in a conversation because a symptom was not being able to speak and it’s like my body is manifesting these symptoms but it makes it feel all more real. what do i do

I feel so down about how out of control my symptoms have become. My OCD fears lie in the fear of contracting an incurable disease. I hyper focus on the disease of rabies. If I see an animal outside, even if it is 30 or 40 feet away from me I feel dirty. If an animal is outside a restaurant I will just leave because I become overwhelmed. My heart races, I feel nauseous, and sometimes I feel like I’m not even in my own body. I don’t interact with my own pets anymore, and it breaks my heart. I won’t hang out with my friend anymore because she works at a vets office. I’m in therapy but it’s not working. I’m on medicine that doesn’t seem to be working. I feel hopeless. No one understands, especially family. It keeps getting worse and worse, especially since it became spring time and animals that weren’t out much in the winter are coming back out. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I feel like i have gotten to the point where i realize it's my brain convincing me, telling me that there is something wrong with me. That i have cancer because there's no way that i don't. That I'm ill and i will pass in a few days. I get so scared and anxious about it because the truth is i really dont want to die so early in life. And the fear that i will, is just consuming the life i am currently living. I get so depressed and sad because i dont want to die because i like the life i have. And im scared that if i have cancer then everything will get flipped upside down and ill die and i wont experience everything i want to. When i was in middle school i hated life and i seriously had suicidal thoughts, and now i feel like my Health OCD is giving me karma for thinking like that. Because now, i feel like i have it worse than i did then. Everyday i live in constant fear that im going to just drop dead or develop cancer and die before i can even reach 18. But i feel like my intuition wants to keep me safe, so it tells me to check and to make sure i dont have anything wrong with me. I feel like everyone calls me crazy. But it's so hard, and so scary to not worry about this. I try and have a good day but a sudden pain in my arm just makes me believe that my vein is going to burst which will stop my heart or something. I just want to have a good time, The past few months have been worrying me sick. I'm not sure how to get better, or how to stop worrying about having a serious illness. I freak out even more that i keep saying or thinking i have cancer, because then i feel like i'm manifesting it even though i don't want it to happen. I just get scared that i keep saying it and then it will actually happen. I'm just so distraught. But i've been recognizing that i really need to stop this. I've been crying everyday about this. I really just need help and guidance, i just need to be healthy :(

Love it when a panic attack sneaks up on you. Doing some traveling for work and that includes me traveling from the east coast to New Mexico. I was very anxious about the altitude. I had it in my head that i was going to get ill from being higher up than i ever have been before and have to go to the hospital or back home. The first couple of days were a bit rough but i adjusted quicker than I thought I would. It’s been about a week being here and I had off today. I got to walk around a farmers market, get good food, and then clean and chill out. I was feeling really good, in control and care-free. The obsessive thoughts were only a light hum in the background. I took a short walk to a free library to pick up a couple books. When i got back to where i was staying, i was out of breath. Not uncommon for someone who isn’t fully adjusted to the altitude. I’ve experienced it a little before and after sitting down for a little my breathing is back to normal. Just feels like i ran instead of walked usually. But this time it kind of sent me. Now, i didn’t drink enough water today (also important in NM) so that was contributing to my hard breathing, dizziness, shakiness and bit of nausea. I knew after some rest, water and a snack, I would be fine. Instead I guess the bodily sensations really caused a panic attack which mimic the same symptoms of altitude sickness. Immediately i felt my heart rate go up and started googling. When the googling made me more fearful (doesn’t it always do that?) i called someone for reassurance that I wasn’t dying. I rested, drank water and ate a little and feel better. It’s been about 20 minutes and the panic and symptoms seemed to subside. Guess what I’m fine! So tired of being kicked in the butt by obsessive thinking and anxiety out of nowhere. Thanks for letting me vent.

I really need someone to talk to about mg health related OCD. I feel so alone.

can those who struggle with health concern ocd tell me about their stories with it? i dont want to feel alone

Hi! (first post lol) wondering if there is anyone else here that also deals with medical/ health concern type of OCD with also having chronic and sometimes scary health issues? if so, any advice on how you might help yourself through a OCD flare up and fears over symptoms and unknowns? (But mostly it would be great just to know that I’m not alone in this <3)

What was your most absurd obsession? I’ll start. I once convinced myself I didn’t have blood. Yes I am fully aware that you need blood to live, but I just didn’t believe I had any and I was resisting the urge to try and find out.😂