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Has anyone who has successfully treated their ocd with meds, did it spike your symptoms first before it helped. Encouraging words only! Please don’t tell me how meds didn’t work for you, I’m looking for some encouragement to help me stay strong on the meds i recently started.

I dont want to put this on the suicidal ocd subtype cause it might not be that idk... this whole 2 years i felt really good, i could say that these were almost my best years, i was viewing all this as ocd and i was avoiding the fear so it didnt beaten me down. I didnt realized all this was compulsion tho, i was compulsively avoiding my emotions and intrusive thoughts. I did acknowledged them but i avoided to work with them or think about them, or let then fully be cause then it wouldve make me stuck. However life happens, and i got depressed because of an event that happened. I accepted it. The sadness wasnt a problem, i had problem with stress and physical symptoms that made me feel afraid that somrthing wrong will happen to my health. After time it crushed me and i developed panic attacks. Today i struggled. But i let all be. I let all the thoughts and feelings be. And then i started having thoughts that i really dont like. Just randomly a thought popped up "the world is bad" that made me depressed. I dont want to accept that this is what i believe, cause its just popped up when i felt low... But i accepted it and the more i accepted the bad thoughts to come, the more it lead me to the suicidal intrusive thoughts. These arent thoughts that i want, i experience great distress and panic that i will act on them. This is why i dont want to deal with these. Im so afraid that i will act on them. In the past i know i had them so agressively that i thought its just moments and i will act on it cause of the high emotions(not like wanted to,like losing control). This is so hard to deal with...its not ocd but also im afraid of them and i cant face them... But bc its not ocd im questioning if i will need someone to stay with me when im facing these problems cause i will be dangerous... also i did had killing thoughts too that i was so afraid of. And these thought made feel so much shame that it streghtened the suicidal thoughts, which made me also afraid that im in danger of hurting myself. This will be really hard to face with. The feelings and the thoughts too. Just facing all the depressive thoughts that i had and thinking "where it comes from" scares me cause im afraid it will lead me to a place where im actually want to kms... so if you have time please pray for me. I want to get better. This is really scary to me, i will need support. I just cant put this on the s-ocd group, but i wouldnt want to say that im suicidal either cause these thoughts are intrusive to me. I dont know where to put this cause every doctor says people with ideation want the thoughts and dont feel scared by them. So i will just be in the middle relating to neither... Im also not accepting that im suicidal, maybe its a compulsion but i dont want to... Thanks for reading this.

Hi all I’m having HIV phibia. Can’t get it out of my mind. I come here to find people to help me overcome it and take my life back to normal state…

Hey guys, So I'm not entirely sure if it's my ocd or if I'm just a stickler for rules. A doctor once told me that drinking and meds is a no go. Now I avoid alcohol, being on 3 different meds out of fear that an interaction will occur. My problem is this. If it is infact OCD than my ocd brain is blowing its importance out of proportion and I am displaying avoidance behaviour out of fear. Everyone I know says "live a little,it's fine, people drink on crazy meds all the time" this reassurance does not help and often makes me feel badly that I can't get past the fear that it will somehow mess with my chemistry due to them both being drugs essentially. And so the way to face it would be to have a drink or two and face the fear. BUT.. But if it is actually unsafe than am I doing right by avoiding? I'm not sure how to handle this situation theraputically in terms of moving forward. Any guidance is appreciated.

Does anyone struggle with their breathing, I have been obsessing over it for a couple days now and every time I breathe I feel like I am not taking in enough air and when I try to take deep breaths it makes me panic even more because I feel like I can’t take one. It’s scaring me because it makes me obsess about my health and my heart , like maybe I’m breathing this way because of a heart condition that’s undiagnosed. It makes me feel so winded and I get scared to do anything that could possibly make me out of breath. It happens after the smallest of things too which is why my brain goes straight to heart condition. Does anyone have any advice?

Hi, I’ve never shared on here before so please forgive me if this is too much or is upsetting. I’m currently struggling and don’t know what to do/need to vent. Since I was a kid, I can remember asking my mom things like “if I touch this and then touch my mouth, will I get sick?” Or the same question but with “will I die?” at the end. I’ve been afraid of illness, especially stomach illnesses for pretty much my whole life. I’ve gotten very sick in the past after not properly washing my hands and then eating, and it has scared me ever since. Now I’m 25 and constantly wash my hands and use hand sanitizer. If I’m at home I’ll wash my hands in the bathroom, then wash my hands in the kitchen, and then use hand sanitizer. This cycle is driving me insane, but if I don’t do it I’ll have panic attacks, convinced that I’ll get sick. Today, when I was getting up to get ready for work I opened my trash can and saw maggots. I’m home alone right now and had to do all the clean up myself. I’m very afraid of getting sick from this, and called my boyfriend sobbing because of how gross the situation was, and because I was so afraid. He assured me that this happens when flies get in the house in the summer time, but I still can’t get past it. I’m so stressed out about cleaning the entire house. I’ve already showered once and washed my hair, but can’t bring myself to eat or drink because I’m afraid something bad will happen. I’ve been dealing with health anxiety for almost 20 years, and the fact that I spend almost every second of every day worrying about getting sick or dying is a painful reality. I have a difficult time being social, going to work, and being intimate. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel completely hopeless and trapped in my mind. Has anyone dealt with this before? I really need to get help, but I don’t have health insurance right now and am trying to avoid going to the hospital (even though I think I might need to).

Hi im 15 and my name is Asia and I have a really bad fear of drugs I think their everywhere and on everything and I keep convincing myself I did them and I always tell myself I took something dangerous like cocaine or worse it happens everyday when I eat or drink something when I’m around certain people or places I get these thoughts and when I get the thought I took something I start to feel “weird” like my body starts reacting and I automatically think “I’m dying” so I call 911 and I feel like I HAVE to call or else something horrible is gonna happen if I don’t my whole perspective on life is miserable and scary because of this I wanna feel like myself again and not get these scary thoughts it’s literally ruining everything for me I don’t like hearing ppl talk abt drugs or anything that has to do with it or I start telling myself it’s happening to me or that I took something

I recently went to my PCP for routine bloodwork, that I wanted, just to ease my mind and make sure there weren't any issues that needed attention. When they called with the results, I couldn't answer the phone. I felt an immediate sense of doom, my hands got tingley, and I just couldn't answer. It took 45 mins of crying, pacing around, and convincing myself that everything was going to be alright, to finally be able to call back. I had this done on my own, I requested this so I could try to stay on top of my health, I had NO real reason to be scared of any results.. My health anxiety seems to be different than the majority of fellow sufferers. Most people will run to the Dr for any and everything. I am the opposite. I don't want to know. I'm terrified. I've been this way since I was a kid.... I want to know that I'm healthy, but actually going to the appointments and having the tests that can tell me that...is like a nightmare for me. Does anyone else have this type of health anxiety? Has anyone found a way to ease the fear? My logical brain tells me that if there ever is something wrong, I'd want to know as soon as possible, so I could get treatment immediately. But my panicky, overthinking brain, is more powerful and won't let me do that in peace. It's exhausting wanting to be healthy and keep on top of things when you can't muster up the courage to go to the doctor like a normal adult. UGH

Im currently having problems with dealing with my emotions and body symptoms such as stomach problems, nausea, not having appetite, im just stressing myself over it. I never learned how to accept emotions and right now it feels hard to do and i dont feel like its actually helping me to go through this. I accept everything, even that i worry and i feed the emotions sometimes cause its automatic and i have to learn alot but im just there,.it feels like im letting myself go on to the rabbit hole and im not doing anything about it. And if i try i feel worse cause the thoughts gets louder and then im more afraid and the symptoms of stress are higher then if i accept it i sit with that and it gets worse and worse bc of automatic thoughts and judgement(and i cant judge them either cause thats judgement too) or if i want to stop doing it i start to repress the experience... Im okay with feeling sadness, im okay with grief, but the stress the nausea the dizzyness,stomach issues, feeding the fear and panic makes it worse, and i dont know how acceptance works... I understand that i accept the feelings that comes up but the automatic judgementd come too bc of past experience, but i still have to accept that too and theres the problem cause i dont see the progress there its either i accept it and it keeps feeding or i accept it but i dont want to feed it or think about it which then makes it a fight and it makes it worse... For me how it seems like its that acceptance would seem like accept i how i feel, everything i feel, that i might get hospitalize cause i cant handle it, that i might turn really bad, that i might put me in bed cause i will be so sick and mentally off, and just be okay with it, but thats doesnt help for me, its accepting catastrophizing thoughts just makes me depressed... I know i wont figure it out all at once, it will be time, but i struggle with acceptance and what to do then which doesnt helps me move. I understand i accept whatever i feel but then what? The automatic judgements comes which makes the experience worse, and whoever was in this situation knows that the judgements has more judgments in them so its a never ending pain. Theres the problem, what to do then? You cant fight the judgements cause it just make it worse. People say acceptance its not giving up, but i do feel like its that what they telling me cause letting all these things be and just be there its sounds giving up for me, I give my fate to the experience i have, its no more what i can do, its where these things will lead me. I dont know how to face this cause i either drown in the pain or i try to fight with it. And many times i feel guilt cause im not actually deal with grief, im not feeling sad over the thing i lost, im being worked up by the experience i have and the fear i have... I know i need time and i wont figure out everything but i need help in this to move forward. Whoever read it all thank you for your time. The remaining months in this year will be about grief...

what helps you guys cope with thinking you’re sick and you’re going to die any second? i can’t help but look something up on my phone when i feel something slightly unusual. once i see some condition or whatever, i stick with it until i experience something new, and the cycle goes on. i’ve always felt that if there was something wrong with me i wouldn’t want to know and would rather die. i’m not suicidal but i don’t want to live in a world where im sick or feel doom because there’s nothing to do about it. i’ve gone to the doctor plenty of times and i recently got a lot of blood tests. they said nothing was wrong with me other than the fact i have depression and anxiety. so every time i feel worried about something, i just refer back to that and tell myself im healthy, which i am. at the moment, i keep getting worried im going to have a stroke. although i am a teenager, it’s still possible. just now i felt left sided pain in my jaw that went to the rest of my face so i started to get anxious which made everything seem more intense. then i reminded myself that i have impacted wisdom teeth that are growing in which could cause that type of pain. last night my leg cramped up and it felt painful to move. it felt exactly like when your leg falls asleep and you get that paralyzed feeling (if that makes sense). then i figured that happened because i just had a week of band camp and my leg muscles were pretty sore, especially that leg. my family doesn’t have any history of health issues which doesn’t mean that im invincible but it also reduces the risk. all of this really picked up after band camp from last year (2023) im guessing its my body having enough of it being overworked.

hey so this is my first time really using this app so i'm not really sure how to start but this is about to be a long story and i just feel the need to get it out because it feels like my anxiety is eating me alive right now. So basically i've always known i've had o cd and i've been diagnosed with pure ocd so i already knew that. I've always always had acid reflux and hypothyroidism that's just something to keep in mind. i've also been smoking on and half for 2 and a half years and my mom has been fixated on it. recently i want to a concert and before this i occasionally smoke, at recreational things or if im with my friends. I have a bad habit of not drinking water so before this concert i completely forgot to. While I was there this lady was smoking beside me and i started to feel very lightheaded and i thought my lungs were gonna collapse. I thought it had to be lung cancer, and my heart felt like it was stopping(it wasn't but my brain made me believe it was).I then had a panic attack and it felt like my throat was closing up and my acid reflux was flaring up and i missed most of the concert. I got so in my head to the point where i couldn't go to sleep that night because i was so scared i wasn't gonna wake up. Luckily the day after the concert i had a doctors appointment and they told me my lungs sounded perfect. So you know that made me feel better for a little while and i started smoking again on and off. My friend who has been smoking longer than me one day told me that he was coughing up blood and his back was hurting from smoking and my brain stuck to that. Everyday even if i didn't smoke i felt like my back was hurting and it was hard to breathe. I truly thought i had popcorn lung. I went back to the doctor again to see what the problem was and she told me again they sounded fine and it was anxiety. They took an x ray and she said my lungs were healthy and nothing was there. to this day i haven't been smoking as much but when i do i have the constant fear of either my heart slowing down or me having lung problems and it causes me to stop going and doing things i love to do like going to concerts, or being outside in the heat for long. I've tried the saying "maybe maybe not" to my problems and exposure therapy but it feels like it's just getting worse to the point where i don't know what's real on my body and what's fake. i feel like every little movement or pain on my body is something serious. i'd really like some advice right now. thank you

Hi. I have been having extreme anxiety about passing out and fainting. I constantly am checking my blood pressure and heart rate and last week I passed out and went to the hospital. But it turns out it was just stress all my tests were clean. This happens especially when driving feeling faint and anxious. It’s causing me to have high blood pressure. If you go through the same thing what do you do to help yourself? Or coach yourself through it? It’s been a struggle lately.

Something I’m really struggling with is the thoughts of having a child. My husband and I got married last year and always planned to have kids. I am currently experiencing an OCD “flare” and I’m wondering how ethical it is for me to have a child knowing I may pass this condition on. Any insight is appreciated!

I will cut right to it. I have severe anxiety over psychosis or mood related disorders due to misdiagnosis when I was a child and into my early 20s. Turns out repressed trauma and a very bad upbringing can cause some serious ptsd, ocd, and panic . Imagine that! Lol. In all seriousness my doctor prescribing me 25mg seroquel as needed is scaring me half to death since 20 years ago I was misdiagnosed as rapid cycling bipolar and put on all sorts of things that disoriented me. My diagnosis for last 8 years is the above diagnosis I just mentioned. I am highly functioning and have a family with a senior level corporate job which provides me reassurance. Im 36 and now and just want to get better and have faith in medical practitioners. Anyone else struggle with a similar story that causes them to be fearful of medication and or physicians ?

Hello, does anyone else have health anxiety/OCD with physical symptoms? I have had depression and OCD since my sister passed away when I was 16 YO. It has been on and off with flare ups here and there. The last 18 months I have had a lot of trauma in my life and started developing anxiety. With all this trauma developed physical symptoms of tingling in limbs, an increased startle reflex, muscle twitching, brain fog, tremors in hands and neck. I have had a brain MRI and countless other tests and the doctors said its all from stress but I am worried they could be missing something. My compulsions are to have symptoms and then google them and then what I see on the internet really worries me and its an ongoing cycle. Has anyone else experienced this? The Drs think I have a disregulated nervous system from trauma and repeated stress. Can anyone relate?

So does your period affect OCD in any way?

Does anyone ever experience their OCD themes shifting extremely quickly? This has been going on for the past few months. I keep flicking through health concern, contamination, psychosis and sexual orientation.

I am absolutely terrified of the dentist and any other type of doctor. I struggle with health themes and I often think my moles are cancerous, that I have mouth cancer, ovarian cancer, colon cancer etc. While I realize having all of these at once would be super rare, I’ve convinced myself that while I might not have all of those I probably have at least one but I don’t know which one. I worry about having cancer or some other terminal disease almost 24/7 it’s really impacting my life.. the issue is I can’t bring myself to go to any doctor’s appointments. I’ve been doing a little better by building a good relationship with my primary care physician & I’ve had every blood test available & all came back perfect. I got over my fear of the eye doctor and went and got a new prescription for the first time in 8 years & I went to an allergist for the first time. Since my biggest fears are ovarian, mouth and skin cancer I can’t seem to bring myself to go to the gynecologist, dermatologist or dentist. I know if I go I’ll feel better like I did with other appointments but I am SO convinced that I will be told I’m dying that I’m not ready to hear it and too scared to go. I fear I’m letting other health problems that I may have like gum disease get worse due to my fear of receiving bad news which only makes me more scared to go. Any advice or comments are appreciated!

Hello! I’m not sure what to do. I have health anxiety and feel like I’m dying when after eating junk food and because of my poor habits and being not motivated to go to the gym. I also have a fear that there’s no afterlife and that I have no purpose in life and that we suffer for nothing. I don’t know how to cope and I’m not sure if religion is toxic for me because I want to be honest and realistic with myself. I believe but think it’s because I was raised in a religious household. I keep looking for certainty. I feel like I don’t know what I’m going to do when my grandmas pass away. My anxiety got so much worse when my grandfather passed and I don’t think I can take it anymore and am so confused what life really means. Why there’s suffering. I don’t feel a sense of purpose in my life at all and am more confused than ever. I’m struggling to do exposure therapy for all of this and don’t know how to do exposure therapy properly. I also don’t know how to cope when I see my family suffer. For example, when I saw my uncle have my cousin arrested, for seeing my grandfather die. I feel like there’s nothing good in this world because it always leads to tragedy at the end. My family believes there’s a God, which I’d like to believe that, but am also feeling like he might not exist. It used to be my values but not anymore when I learned that it’s bad for my OCD. How should I handle trauma when I already can’t take it anymore. I feel like life has been very boring and I really struggle to work at my office. I can’t be present in the moment and I’m easily bored and want to do things that will change my life, that are more fun. I don’t know what yet and am really struggling. I just go to a boring job, wait until it turns 5, and go home and go the same thing. Walk the dog, I don’t even want to cook because it’s so boring and wastes time, and watch tv. I really don’t like my life and don’t know what to do. I previously had terrible managers in the past and got laid off for one of my jobs so this is I guess comfortable but still. I’m so bored and just going through life and am struggling to really enjoy anything. This has been going on for years. I also feel so immature and hanging out with my friends who are way more mature and extroverted than me is an exposure in itself. I compare myself to them a lot since they’re so confident but I feel like they act like I’m a toddler at times and that they feel they have to take care of me. I just am always in my head and they always give me advice, whether I ask it or not. I’m not excited about my life, very bored, but I also am not happy with who I am. I hate doing things too bc I feel like it just makes me even more depressed and bored. I feel like junk food and alcohol are the only things I look forward to

I have realized my fear is a bit different from people who just have emetophobia but not ocd, even when the phobia mimics obsessive compulsive symptoms. They fear the actual act of being ill, and all of the gross stuff that happens with it. They also have a fear of not being in control. I have found that I moreso fear contamination. While I would be okay with being sick from a spinny ride, what would cause me to not be able to overcome it would be the fear that it was because I was actually sick with norovirus. This is perhaps because my body would not mend itself immediately after being sick one time if I caught something. The idea of being infected with something foreign disturbs me deeply. I also feel as if everything will be ruined if I am sick, that the world will end. I get comfort from remembering that the things and people I love would still be there, that they wouldn’t be contaminated or gone, which is something I don’t see with just emetophobics.