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I’ve had the same themes of ocd on and off for years. I have a new theme i’ve never had before now. Has that happened to anyone else?

Today I feel Stressed, un-worthy, ignored , and forgotten. What’s worse when your feelings are invalidated.

I hate this I hate this I hate this..I just finished therapy and I couldn't even say the story right. Along with that my thoughts switch to my boyfriend being the intrusive thoughts and the ex being "the partner" LIKE NOOOOOO I want my boyfriend and I want to get rid of this girl in my head. I don't want to be gay, I don't want this ex..I don't ever want this ex I want my boyfriend I always wanted my boyfriend. Please I just want my boyfriend I don't wanna lose my boyfriend I don't want to be a cheater I don't want this ex. I was 13... JUST 13 WHEN I DID THAT MISTAKE THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WAMT THE EX. I blame my head it's so unfair.. first it told me I was gonna cheat on my boyfriend because of this friend of his...after spiraling and telling myself I would never do such thing to my lover, I was feeling great and oki knowing I would never EVER do that to my boyfriend..it made me remembered what I did when I was 13 thinking I was a cheater all along and quickly said "do you feel bad for the ex? Do you want the ex then? Should you go back? You should" like bro I just GOT OUT OF A HELL HOLE YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME. I only was feeling bad for my past mistakes that doesn't mean I want the person back. I don't want them back I was just scared of how that would change my now relationship slightly knowing what I did when I was a PRE TEEN. Now this person has become my intrusive thoughts and it has been worse than ever. I really don't want this ex ik I don't. It's just making me feel bad for this other person and telling me what to do. I don't want this ex. I just had a thought because I saw the ex account and it triggered me then a thought said "I wish I was with the ex like all the time" | felt panicked and it felt real. I just want my boyfriend Ryan he's better way better.

i hate starting with a new therapist. i obsess over my trauma and then when it’s time to go to therapy it’s almost unbearable to talk about. last therapy session was on friday and was my first ever appt with this therapist, found her through my job’s employee assistance program. i was telling her how i feel like a bad person and sometimes have suicidal thoughts. she was not warm or reassuring. she asked me how i would do the deed and i explained to her and she did not say much at all. i left the session feeling worse. i have another appt at 3 today and the roads are icy and i’m just dreading it. and if i cancel i will feel like an irresponsible piece of shit. i already told her so much so i feel like i need to keep going. but im depressed and it is so hard for me to think about leaving my house. what do i do?

Has anyone just not had the anxiety stop, now If I don’t feel the chest tightness I think about it and it just comes flooding back in… anyone have any good tips to bring the anxiety down ?

Having a panic attack and can’t calm down. Please help.

Can anyone share any success stories from doing ERP therapy and anything else that may have helped you? I understand now that I've probably had OCD most of my life, but getting started and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel are two completely different things. I really want to recover from this. Mine stems mostly from real events, but I have other themes as well.

I can’t find anyone that can help me and I feel hopeless

Hoping to find others that suffer with similar issues.

I had another OCD dream related to the death of a loved one and I’ve been in bed for 6 hours ruminating or trying to neutralize my thoughts and anxieties. I want to get out of bed but I feel so. Stuck. I know I can do it but it feels like I can’t! My brain thinks it can solve the puzzle but now I know that’s a lie. But it still feels so hard!!!

So this recent situation I’ve been having and it’s really scary and almost doesn’t feel real that I would be able to think this. So I’ve been with my partner for over 4 years now and recently I kinda got into some trouble that been super stressful and the last week on Saturday or Friday night i had a terrible dream or “thought” that I stabbed my partner and since that day it’s been an on going thing and at the slight thought of it my heart shoots up and I just get into a intense panic and I’ll have to convince myself it’s just a thought and I wouldn’t ever do it and we recently got engaged and she’s my world and has been my saving grace for every situation I got myself in (I have hobby’s of racing cars and motorcycles and a year ago I got into a motorcycle accident that put me in almost a month long coma and got a severe tbi due to it) and she’s been there through every step of the way with that and I just couldn’t fathom as to why I would even have that thought and why all of a sudden I’m a nervous wreck when I have never been the super panic type or anything. Had history of depression and anxiety but nothing to this degree. Also I’ve never had recurring thoughts that just slammed out of nowhere and got stuck for days. Unless it was with a car or motorcycle or something impulsive where it would give me gratification and this is none of those areas I feel deep remorse and guilt for even having those thoughts. She’s soon to be my wife I just engaged to her and I cannot believe this is even a thing to happen to me.. just in a panic and not sure what’s going on.

I guess this post is just a rummage of thoughts. I have been wondering lately as to why some people respond well to medication and others do not. Im also very curious as to the real reason SSRI's work. Could there possibly be a hormone it works on that hasn't been found yet. Im not buying the seratonin theory. First, Psychiatrist are not doing bloodwork to see peoples seratonin levels before prescribing drugs. 2.) If it just low seratonin why does SSRI's not cure OCD? A lot of people who take SSRI'S only see a mild decrease in symptoms. Even at high dosages.Im interested in the data coming out on GABA. If they can see that the brain behaves abnormal during screenings what is causing so much misfiring. Why do some people develop it as children, while others have an onset later in life? Besides Pandas. More importantly for children who contract it during strep, why does it normalize. Its weird that one bout of strep could permanently damage your brain, especially one that is still forming. I would have thought it would autocorrect. Why are more women diagnosed than men? Like I said just thinking.

Does anyone else struggle with always searching for something to be wrong, especially in good times? When things are good or I get good news I am looking for the next terrible possibility.

Hello does anyone struggle to go to sleep at night? feels like my mind is awake all night and wake up exhausted.

About 11 months ago, I entered a turbulent period in my life. I'd just moved to a new city, there was some visible instability in my company, inflation was tightening my budget, I had a high volume of social and professional obligations that left me drained, a truck that wouldn't start, and two young children (whom I love dearly) that like to really test boundaries. There's more I could go on about, but I think you're getting the picture. One day, an anxious thought popped into my head, and I couldn't shake it. I started trying to reason with it, and then one thought became many. I started avoiding certain things because of these thoughts, I started engaging in mental "loops" to reassure myself that these thoughts and fears were not true and could not become true. That lasted for a few weeks, and then some new challenges in my career and personal life sent me into a state of always-on anxiety. I'm talking no sleep, no eating, no socializing, and absolute dread for any required activity or responsibility. And I was consumed by the power of these thoughts, non stop, always on, always needing reassurance. I became, very quickly, a responsibility to my wife rather than her partner, and I saw the toll this took on her. I noticed her healthy habits change and her outlook begin to decline. I felt, honestly, like a burden. One night, I was googling intrusive thoughts and OCD, (as one does!) and I came up on NOCD. I read about how in ERP practice you can learn to become dismissive of these thoughts and that SCARED me. I read threads on this app, and they frightened me too. How could I ignore these terrible thoughts and concerns? My life would fall apart if any of these fears materialized! I can't let my guard down! I certainly can't vocalize any of these fears to another person, either, they would think way less of me. I was SCARED to call. I called anyway. #GoodMove The person who picked up was just like me. Someone who'd been through OCD, and they explained the process. They said it would be hard at times, and that I wouldn't like it, but I would likely succeed if I stuck with it. Anything to give me my life back, I thought, and I agreed to the intake process. A few weeks later, I met my therapist, Kellie, and after my first call with her, I felt like I was seen and understood. I remember a lot of our first conversation, but the big takeaways were: these fears are pretty normal. The fears prey on the areas of your life that mean the most to you (in my case: family, career, and reputation), but most importantly - these fears are not real. Then we got to work, and after about 7 months now, I've learned how to be comfortably uncomfortable. That is, how to tolerate all the discomfort that the modern world will throw your way. In today's session, we discussed updates on my life, and I was pleased to share that I am virtually 100% free from OCD symptoms and disruption in my life. I wanted to take a moment to share this with you, too, anonymous reader. I know I may have symptoms again, (I had a few today), but they don't sting like they used to any longer. The symptoms no longer have an impact on my life. Now, when I notice an unpleasant thought or fear, I take 30 seconds to check in with myself on the stress level I have and what I can do to alleviate that stress. My anxiety is actually working as intended, now. I want you to know, that if you're going through the kind of mental anguish I was dealing with every day, that you can overcome this and you will be all the better for having done it. Never give up on yourself. Keep pushing. All my best to you for reading this far. -Michael 🌴☀️

It seems like the toughest thing is to continue my day and get out of bed even though I have intrusive thoughts. Starting to think my response of quiting or throwing the day away is my ritual that needs to end.

What medicines do you all take that help with your OCD?

The last couple of days i’ve been able to keep my ocd at bay and have been ocd free but now i’m having ocd in my dreams. This is so upsetting. 😪 Does this happen to anyone else?

Can OCD go into remission for a few years, and then come back years later? I feel like this is what happened to me. Around the ages of 14 to 16, I was fine, for the most part. Disassociated but fine, because although my dad's health has been declining slowly, I was still able to function/think clear/etc. The remission lasted until I was 21 and hit me like a train from then on. I have my good and bad days with OCD, but it's there again. Sometimes it reminds me of how it used to be, when it FIRST started; I was 11 or 12. Those REALLY bad days are few and far between. I basically describe myself as "simmering in anxiety" no matter what location I'm in or what I'm doing. The only thing that helps me is church or being around my church family as much as I can.

How do people recognize the difference between relationship ocd intrusive thoughts and real thoughts about your relationship? I have been in a relationship for about a year, it’s my first long-term relationship and the healthiest, I am almost 20 years old, and I believe I have rocd (I haven’t been diagnosed but it’s pretty clear to me). The main thoughts I get are “what if I’ll lose feelings for my bf?, what if I don’t love him?, what if I’m gonna break his heart?” (it’s never about if he’s cheating on me or anything like that. He is a really great boyfriend and the best person to ever walk into my life, he isn’t toxic or bad in any way towards me or the relationship). Usually these thoughts occur before my period (luteal phase/pms) but I’m on day 6 of my period and I got these thoughts, which usually isn’t the case as I’ve said before. So I went into a spiral cus I believed that since I got these thoughts at a different time in my cycle, they must be true. Deep down I know I love my boyfriend so much, it’s just so hard to navigate whether or not these thoughts are just fake rocd thoughts or what I’m really thinking. Can anyone else relate?