Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I’m starting my first year at college after this gap year I used to improve my mental health aka ocd, and I’m not super sure how this will go. I’m living on campus, and I’m super excited to start classes and move in, meet new people. I just know it will be overwhelming, and if anyone has tips on coping with that, so my ocd doesn’t go absolutely wild, it’d be greatly appreciated

I am mostly recovered from HOCD but my issue now seems to be that I’m very obsessed with my appearance and if I look like a lesbian or not. I’m not super feminine looking and I work from home so some days I just really don’t care to do my hair or makeup and I’m fine with that and I don’t believe that makes me less feminine. But I can tell a difference between the way my straight feminine friends look when they don’t try vs how I look when I don’t try. It’s both true but also not helpful for me to compare. Idk how to not be obsessed about this.

I gave into a major compulsion after a major trigger. I haven’t done that in many months. My anxiety spiked because of a trigger. How do you forgive yourself? I feel like a failure. 😞

I’ve been recently mulling over past and present memories/feelings when it comes to my creative process and every time i start something new, i am an anxious spiraling mess: constantly checking the first ugly stage of a painting over and over again thinking i’ll eventually like what i see but i never do (that is until i start painting it again). i bet all artists deal with feeling like an imposter but with every new painting, i don’t trust myself it’ll be good, even though it takes time for a painting to reach the “good” level. i’m just curious to know if anyone else has OCD and is also a creative person, just too feel a little less alone in this :’)

Finishing my thesis this weekend. Im actually for real scared Im not gonna pass, its so much work to do still :(

I have co-occurring Autism, GAD, bipolar, and ADHD along with my OCD and I always thought I had this great insight but there’s something that I never realized. I hate transitions. I don’t like being between phases. Between getting to a restaurant and being at a restaurant. Between sitting and placing your order. Between done eating and paying the check. There are other non-restaurant examples, but those come to mind because I’m heading to dinner. My NOCD therapist asked what I do in these situations. I explained that I have certain things that I do and that I have the people with me do. She asked why I thought people should follow what I said. I told her that the way I do things is right and logical and if they understood that, they’d want to do it my way. If it doesn’t matter either way for them, they should just do it my way because it matters to me. If they don’t care and they won’t do it my way that means they’re being difficult. She asked if I realized that I was forcing people to participate in my rituals and that, even though it seemed very logical to me, none of it was actually based in logic. It’s all just compulsion. That never occurred to me before…

How can I go back to my studying. I'm having a one month break from classes to self study what I've left behind. It's already in the 2nd week of the month and I haven't done any studies. My OCD had been so hard lately. I don't have interest in my future anymore ( even though my future isn't in a state that I should be staying like this right now). How do you guys manage to study with OCD happening. How should I put myself to study

hi, im graduating high school next year and i wanna go to uni and my biggest dream is to go to a med school. I've had this dream since I was a little girl. but in 2021 my ocd and other disorders got so bad that I couldn't function. my dream of studying medicine got crushed. but I got much better this year, I'm feeling like myslef again, I'm trying new things I couldn't before because of ocd. and ive got hope again that I could get into uni. my parents, sisters and close friends are really happy and they are really supportive about me wanting to go to med school. but some of my teachers are like, are you sure? it's gonna be too hard, why don't you do something else (when i choose biology and biochem class, my teacher went to talk to my friend and told her im not good enough for that class. and i dont get it like how? i think im really good at these subjects) and my other friends and classmates think I'm stupid and not good enough for this uni. I know I shouldn't let that affect me. but I dont how. I'm so sad that they don't belive in me and im scared it's gonna affect me and I'll also stop believing in myslef. I'm really doubting myslef and im in such a bad mood. I need to work on this, to not take things too personally. does anyone have advice for this, please?

well, we had a good week! and i’ll be seeing him as soon as tuesday! but i was up a lot of last night, feeling anxious and worried about all the things i want to talk to him about. about loving me, choosing me over other people. i just want us to be perfect. but i also can’t ask too much bc that’s too much stress on him. why does it bother him so much to give me reassurance! like… it’s not hard and i would give it to him, and do when it’s necessary. all i want is for him to like me, love me, care about me, and choose me other all other people. yk what? he called me his favorite person. and when we listened to a podcast, someone in the podcast was talking about the husband not wanting to spend time with the wife. and we were both like “you should want to hang out with your person.” stating that when we are together, he wants to be together. he likes that. i hope he tells me he loves me soon.

Does anyone ever get compulsions when it comes to texting? I will receive a message from someone and if I don’t want to respond right away I won’t open it, but if it’s been too long before I open it I just can’t until they text me again. Or if I text someone I have to reopen the message multiple times every few seconds in case they responded and I didn’t notice, or in case they read it, or to make sure I said what I meant to say and it can’t be perceived differently. This usually leads to me having a crazy amount of unopened messages, and a crazy amount of anxiety. Texting has become an unreliable source of communication for me so I usually call or don’t talk to anyone unless they’re in person

I have been anxious about this one specific thing for a few days now. I keep telling my parents about it over and over again. I am going on a big trip tomorrow with my friend and big trips or events trigger my OCD into thinking the trip has to be perfect. Should I tell my Mom what keeps bothering me before I leave for my trip even though I’ve already told her several times about it the past few days I’ve been anxious about it and even though she keeps getting mad at me for repeating it?

How do I tell myself to worry/do OCD stuff later. I’ve been anxious for different thing for a couple hours now and I just wanna take a break. But if I don’t do my OCD stuff in this exact moment, it won’t feel right and I feel like I will ruin it. Especially since a big event just happened and I get anxious during big events because I wanna enjoy them and not worry during, or in this case, after they happened.

I struggle with real event/false memory ocd, I take Zoloft which isn’t helping also I did years of therapy and recently stopped due to insurance issues. I constantly obsess over my mistakes as a teenager especially one specific mistake where when I was dating my now husband I ended up hanging out with another guy having drinks but nothing happened really, I’ve already confessed this to him through out the past 11 years of being married over and over to the point where he is so exhausted of hearing it and it just opens old wounds and creates problems , he has told me to stop bringing it up and leave it in the past. But anytime I remember another tiny memory of that night I have an urge to confess or I feel so much guilt and shame like I’m keeping a huge secret, this detail is small but it still makes me feel horrible 😢 it’s been weeks and I’ve not confessed but when will this feeling go away? It’s day and night all I think about. I’m also 8 months pregnant and have two other kiddos and it’s so hard to continue to be a mom and wife and feel so much guilt and shame 😥

Hey guys, just wanted to introduce myself my names Matt. I was first diagnosed with ocd at the age of 14. I am 29 years old currently. I really had it bad for awhile then I got out of the hole and saw the light. Now I feel like I'm back in it. I've been inpatient at ocd facilities like mclean and Roger's. I consider myself very fortunate and that's where part of the guilt comes in for whatever reason. I've been supported a lot of my life especially when the ocd was really bad and I couldn't function in society. I got back on my feet but recently experienced rocd for the first time. The fear it instilled in me..im struggling massively at the moment. I find that the intrusive thoughts come in and have a strangle hold on me and the sadness and emptiness that follows. I was diagnosed with depression but its hard to come to terms with it. I feel that the ocd is just so awful now. I have experienced a couple sub types in the past..a big one being harm ocd and health related ocd..contamination to a degree. I used to reread when I was in school and that was hell in itself just trying to chase a feeling of perfectionism. I've done ERP plenty of times in the past but ceased the therapy as I got better. Now I'm seeking therapy through nocd which I've never tried before. I really hope I can get myself on track because it really feels like the weight of the world is on my back. I want to pursue music as it's always been an important tool for coping and connection. I can't explain how it makes me feel it's just amazing. I've been working on my vocals but there are so many barriers right now. I feel so sad and I just want to isolate myself. It's up and down emotionally. I'm adjusting to medication that I discontinued awhile ago and now I'm back on it. It's a slow grind. I literally feel like the stress at work is becoming too much as I'm essentially caring for others when I can barely care for myself right now. I work as a life coach with individuals diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder. I know I'm really bouncing around here on all of subjects but I feel like the more and more I speak up about my diagnosis and spread awareness of ocd the more I'm feared of being misunderstood. I think it's truly another "what if" ocd fear. It is so hard to get a grip on the ocd because the rumination is so bad. To be honest it's hard to open up about ocd in general. I just keep thinking as a male I have to keep it together and I shouldn't be emotional that it's weak. I feel like I was fed that before in my past. I honestly appreciate having a community like this I'm grateful. It's so odd I just want a big hug but at the same time it's too much to be that vulnerable.

I really need to tweeze my eyebrows but everytime i even look at them i get so triggered and spend hours in the bathroom (causing me to avoid looking at them). however today i physically felt the hair in between them and i feel the hairs are sticking out, but if i pluck them, i know it’ll turn into a compulsion. how do i get around this? I need to remove the hairs sometimes for real, but it’s so triggering???

Does anyone have any tips on living and dealing with uncertainly? Also, how can you truly forgive yourself?

i feel like im being crushed by the weight of deadlines and my thoughts. i have so much to do in the next 3 weeks and i feel so distracted by my brain. i just got diagnosed with OCD and it feels good to put a name to all these endless thoughts i have. i think so much and never get a break and on top of it im so overwhelmed by assignments i feel paralyzed (i have adhd, too). even when i do things i enjoy my brain still somehow thinks of something to ruin the moment. 🫠

OCD is excruciatingly painful. I don’t think any other forms of torment on earth can rival it, except maybe schizophrenia-type disorders or physical torture. I have come a long way from where I started. I don’t believe I have OCD, as it is clinically defined, anymore (though some experts might disagree). I no longer have any intrusive thoughts. I have the silence and freedom in my mind that I always wanted—but never could attain before. But I remember the days when the thoughts ran like wildfire through my brain, each thought scarier than the last—the never-ending, repeating sentences that were like frightening music 🎶 that never shuts off. Only people who have experienced these thoughts can understand the mental pain and anguish. Even on the other side of the disorder, where I am now, the OCD still haunts me every day. It’s mostly in the background, but I can always feel its shadow. The roots of perfectionism and fear still run very deep. Every day, as I work on further recovery, I find that I am peeling back more and more layers that I didn’t even know were there. I understand everyone who says they despise their OCD. I find it hard to convey to other people the amount of pain this disorder causes. But every day now I have an opportunity for joy if I choose it. And I love that. Some days are mostly normal. I can almost forget about the OCD for hours at a time. I always sleep in peace, even my naps. And even though every day has significant OCD-related struggles, I also know that every day I am getting better.

I have two AP Tests this week and one of my intrusive thoughts has always been that I will never get into college (I have a 4.0 gpa) I had a panic attack last night and I’m honestly so terrified I can’t even think straight even though I’ve done all I can to prepare. So now I just have to stare at the wall until I have to drive to the testing place in the morning. I can’t sleep, or eat or do anything but worry.

went to a friends dorm earlier today & I commented on how neat it was and he said “oh I’m kinda ocd about those things” I didn’t know what to say so I just let it go but it made me feel really uncomfortable. how do you guys deal with when people say those things?