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I just woke up from a dream related to my OCD subtype and it felt too real and felt like I liked it and woke up panicking. I know dreams don’t mean anything but it felt too real and now I can’t sleep.

Do y’all think lexapro (10mg) can help with this , especially with some therapy? , I’m still worried though , what if i’m just bluffing and not worried about what I really am..

Hi everyone, asking for prayers, advice, anything…My mom died very suddenly last night. I live in a different state than her and was not able to be there with her. I know that in this case, finding an OCD therapist is crucial especially in this time of crisis but i have to fly out tomorrow to go be with my family and want to focus on one thing at a time. I struggle mainly with pocd and can already feel the warning signs of it flaring up, I’m sure it’s triggered by all the stress I’m feeling but I’m still so extremely confused as to why I’m struggling with this theme during this time, it feels completely unrelated. I’m trying not to give to much importance to the thoughts and feelings im having but it’s hard. I have a lot support from my friends and family and partner so i feel incredibly blessed in that regard. I’m shaken and confused and sad and numb all at the same time. I’ve never lost anyone like this before.

hey, i saw this on tiktok and i’ve been struggling really bad my whole life. i’ve never been diagnosed but im too scared that people will tell me im being dramatic or im making it up to get help. i think it started when i was in 1st or 2nd grade, i would come home everyday and confess things to my mom. like not taking my usual routes in the hallways and not returning a pencil to anyone. i dont know why it has to be her but i still do this. it’s like she’s my only comfort person and sometimes it feels like im just bothering her with it. i dont know who to talk to or what to do to fix it. everyone has told me that getting on medicine will only make it worse because if i come off of it it will be a whole lot worse. as i got older, it kind of left me for a while until earlier this year. i’ve always been told that having an extreme conscience was a good thing, but this feels awful. i turned to God which i still believe it but i don’t think it was the right way. i was overly paranoid that the end times were coming so much that i couldn’t do my daily routines. my sister has 2 babies and when i turned to Jesus it was also because i was having insane intrusive and embarrassing of doing horrible things to them. i didn’t even know who i was. i love both of those babies like they’re my own, i constantly come over to see them, bring gifts, etc and i could never intentionally hurt them but when i have these thoughts it’s like seeing yourself in a different perspective. when i signed up for this app a few minutes ago i think it said that was POCD. i would never do anything to hurt anyone, ive always been a very gentle and caring person so it’s kind of hard to argue with yourself. i was also at the time hitting an extreme point of paranoia about my health, constantly obsessing over everything because i thought i was dying. it left me again for a few months but now it’s back and i don’t know what else to do. i don’t know if this is ocd or if im straight out just a terrible person. any advice, comments, or anything is welcome!

Ok so like already mentioned I’m extremely scared I might have sexually abused my dog in the past and now I feel terrible. I know back then my sister or even more family members were around and have already thought of asking my sister if she remembers sth. But just now my parents had called me for dinner and I just simply started to have tears running down my face because I feel so terrible and so of course my parents noticed and asked me if sth was wrong. My father doesn’t know I have ocd so I of course couldn’t blast out that I was scared I might have abused our dog and our dog was right next to me and that made me feel even worse. My mother kept asking if everything was alright bc the tears just didn’t stop flowing. At first I had excused it saying „oh that was just randomly in my eye I don’t know“ but the tears wouldn’t stop flowing and started forming in my other eye too so my parents knew sth was up. My mother asked me if I am being bullied at school or anything. If only she knew it’s even worse what I’m hiding. She said she would go upstairs after dinner and have a talk with me. Rn I’m sitting in my room and can’t stop crying anymore. But maybe she remembers this event or can ask my sister and maybe they can help me. I don’t know anymore I can’t deal with the uncertainty of this event. I don’t want to sexually abuse sb and I would never forgive myself for such a horrible crime. I keep hearing things from similar situations and people saying even worse things and then people responding by saying „you’re a different person now, everybody deserves a second chance“ but I’m not feeling this. If it had indeed happened the way I fear it, then I don’t want a second chance.

At this point I don't care if I'm reassurance seeking. I don't know what else I'm meant to do. I know this next bit is practically another confession but I'm all out of other ideas. In advance I'm genuinely sorry and I hate this. So I'm pretty sure I romanticise like adhd and maybe autistic traits. I'm sickened by myself. I read, and I was reading and this character, while not said to have adhd, in my opinion had the traits that I associate with it. And I feel like I like those traits. Do I find them cute? Interesting? I literally don't know. Only thing I know is that I'm disgusted with myself. I also remember feeling "something", whether that be a groinal response from worrying about being attracted to these traits, or actually being attracted to these traits, I have no idea, it's 50/50. But I'm pretty sure that it's the latter. I feel disgusting all over. I'm going to have a shower because I was going to anyway, but this won't even make me clean again, I know it won't. I just want to apologise, that's all. I don't know why I'm like this. I don't like it. I wish I was different. I wish I could go back to being young when the only thing on my mind was what I was going to have for tea. I knew no wrong. Now look at me. I am the wrong. Also I can't tell people about my worries because all they'll say is that it's intrusive thoughts and ocd. Like, okay, sure, maybe I worry more than the average person, but these are real genuine worries and I hate them. Maybe I'm putting this on the wrong place but I have nowhere else. I'm sorry. I'm just sorry. Words can't describe how badly I'm sorry. I think of what people with adhd would think of me. I'm disgusting. Maybe I'm just feeling overly sorry for myself to make myself seem like less of a disgusting monster, but I genuinely am sorry. I don't want any of this. I just want to be a good person.

Do you guys have certain shows/situations that are triggering to your OCD? Like for example since my brain has convinced me of thinking inappropriate things about children/babies, any shows I watch I get really uncomfortable when seeing kids and babies which makes me really upset. Also being around people or out in public and seeing kids or babies my OCD gets really bad. Does this happen to other people??

Ive already posted abt this but basically for the past two days I’ve been extremely afraid I might have sexually abused my dog a few years ago. To imagine what and how I mean it: So basically back then I would see her like she was my child or sth. And so, just like many parents do, I wanted her to lay on top of me and then I wanted to cuddle her. Now is the thing that abt a month ago I had also remembered this again and suddenly was like „Did I see that as sth sexual?“ and like back then I also still remembered the situation in a way that everything was fine and I simply had her lay on top of me. But the day before yesterday I then had the intrusive thought „what if I had rubbed my genital against hers??“ and ever since then this has been haunting me. It’s not sth I would do. And the chance is also really low bc due to a few points it’s barely possible (and yes I’ve been thinking for so long I even made myself a contra-pro list): •fully clothed of course •floor is really hard so moving wouldn’t be possible anyway without having the most insane back pain afterwards •my dog stood up after maybe 2 seconds • I don’t know if she had ever even laid down on top of me bc she’s a quite huge dog and usually I remember she wouldn’t do this so if she had ended up doing so, she would’ve stood up right after definitely •somebody was around when it had happened. I think it was my sister. I’m too scared to ask her but she definitely would’ve started screaming at me if sth bad had happened •I never had the intentions to do this • up until the day before yesterday I was 100% sure of the situation and never had any doubts if anything sexual was up besides way before the doubt if I may have seen that as sth sexual •it’s just simply not possible bc why would my dog lay herself on top of me in a way of touching my genital with hers? It’s not possible without a human forcing an animal to do so. • it’s gross and I’ve always been aware of not doing inappropriate things with actual human beings (back then I was 11-13, I can’t remember when exactly it had happened). •keep having intrusive thoughts showing me doing things in order to get her to lay on top of me like this but the only thing I actually remember doing is that I tried to get her to 1) even lay down bc like I said she doesn’t really understand it and if she had actually ended up laying on top of me, it would’ve taken a long time to get her to do so and she would’ve stood up right again immediately 2) lay with her head close to mine so I could actually cuddle her. But I still keep having those weird images. Up until yesterday I didn’t have them and I had never remembered the situation this way. •keep having intrusive thoughts abt my genital touching hers, but I’ve always found that gross and don’t touch her genital even when not for any other reasons besides normal ones bc it’s disgusting and I also can’t ever remember feeling that. Like how on earth would that work? It’s just disgusting. But like the thing is, I just can’t let it be. I can’t accept this uncertainty because it’s eating me up. I can’t go outside with the chance of me being a sexual abuser. Yesterday I even yet again had the thought of ending my life bc I felt I can’t live with this guilt. And I keep on analysing my dogs behaviour to see if she might have any trauma regarding this. For example a few minutes ago I came up to her and started to see if see did this kind of shock move when I touch her at her back close to where her genitals are (yk the back with the fur of course, I didn’t touch her genitals bc obviously that would make all my guilt even worse, I don’t want her to suffer bc of me). She didn’t move one bit and was happy to have me around. But today I also remembered that she doesn’t enjoy getting bathed and I don’t know if I remember this right, but I think she also doesn’t enjoy being bathed and cleaned at her groin area and now I’m scared she has a trauma. I think she has been hating this for way longer than this is ago but I think I’d need to ask my mother and sister to see if the timeline matches. And now I just feel horrible. I mean there are many things that she doesn’t enjoy and she also doesn’t like being bathed in general. And the bathing around groin area is mostly when she for example has a lot of dirt there so maybe she’s referring to that but I still feel bad. I know I’m asking for reassurance but I feel I need this one. Do you think this has happened or is my brain making it up?

Anytime a see an image of my best friend I feel a moment down there or I feel huge or I feel like I’m about to get a boner please why is this so, it makes me feel lost.

i came across a disturbing post here and on reddit (from doing compulsions) regarding pocd. i am sick and tired of feeling this way. i dont want to feel any type of way towards children as they are earth’s most purest beings. i care so so much and i hate having these horrific thoughts in my brain. i hate this so much.

I was watching this random tiktok on my fyp and this guy was comparing his art vs how how he looks or whatever. He is 15 and when he showed how he looked in real life I had a thought that was like 'damn that's how he looks??' and immediately after I thought 'he's 15 why would you think that' and im so anxious that's proof that im attracted to minors. I am 22 and I have never been attracted to a kid, nor have i ever considered dating or persuing a kid. Ive had POCD intrusive thoughts before but still, the pictures had his face covered and they looked like those aesthetic pinterest pictures people post, and i wasnt expecting that. I feel like vomiting but that thought felt so natural and im worried i meant it. Why would I have a thought like that?? I know we're 'not our thoughts' or whatever but that didn't feel like an intrusive thought and now I'm worried that was proof im attracted to a minor and that one of my worst fears is true. I'm also worried if I pass It off as an intrusive thought im in denial or making an excuse. Please help.

I have pocd. How are you supposed to practice erp with an intrusive thought that is so disgusting and wicked? A disgusting two-words intrusive thought? It's difficult for me to just sit still and get exposed to such a horrible thought. I still can't write it because it triggers me a lot so I'll say the "acronym": it's pc but read backwards... if you get the word I'm trying to say you'll understand that that word is very disgusting, for me it's the worst word ever of all times and I can't simply deal with it, whereas with other triggering words I am able to move on. With this thought for me it is simply impossible to ignore. And moreover the day after tomorrow is my 18th birthday, a once of a lifetime event and I'm afraid that I'm going to start that day with the same intrusive thought ruining everything and having the memory of that thought forever because it is associated to such an important event. How I deal with that? How do I apply ERP to such a disgusting intrusive thought? I can't do it. How can I move forward? Somebody help me, please.

I don’t know what to do! My 13 year old son has suffered with intrusive thoughts for years. He feels guilty of things he’s done in the past when he was super young and obsesses over it to the point that he has to come clean about everything!! He fears that he may be a phedophyle at times because of intrusive thoughts. He’s on Zoloft 75 for it, it was getting better for a bit but it’s getting aggressive again! He is so kind and such a good son and person. He is in counseling but his counselor doesn’t specialize in OCD. I don’t know if I should have them change his medication, idk if there’s a medication that will help him more. I’m so scared I suffered with intrusive thoughts as a kid and teen, I never got help but I’m good now.

It's always mention that OCD's main focus it's the doubt and the "what if" questions, but to be quite honest, my mind barely ever asked any question, most of my thoughs/feelings are like afirmations "you are into dudes" "you are in denial" and the feeling that those statements are true, with or withouth anxiety, that's how mine usually goes

I have been struggling with pure ocd symptoms for years, constantly fighting with myself and ruining relationships because of things that aren’t real. I’m not physically strong and I’m introverted and quiet, yet I constantly have intrusive thoughts about hurting my friends and family. I’ve had sexual images pop into my head or my dreams about every person, relative, animal that I’ve ever known. At 14 I had my first sleepover, where I locked myself in the bathroom all night because I thought I’d hurt my friend in her sleep. It didn’t help that I didn’t understand I was gay and that liking her was normal. I thought I was sick and twisted. At 21 I did the same thing, I was dating a girl and at her birthday party we shared a room for the first time. Even though we slept on different sofas, I still didn’t trust myself so I stayed awake all night. At 22 I went to a tattoo place and a massive storm happened, where all the roads closed due to crashes everywhere, so I couldn’t get a taxi home. My tattoo artist let me stay on his sofa. For the next few weeks I had intrusive thoughts that we’d had sex, or that he had watched me sleep and done things to himself at the same time. At 22 I slept with someone I thought was out of my league. I convinced myself for weeks that I never got consent even though I did. At 23 I was home for Christmas and had to share a bed with my little sister. I begged my parents to let me have the sofa to myself. I’d been having multiple pocd intrusions for a couple of months. At 24 I’m in my first relationship and I still continue to have these nightmares about everyone I know. It makes me feel like I’ve been unfaithful. My partner doesn’t trust me either. She wakes up and tells me she’s had dreams of me cheating on her, whilst i did indeed, have dreams about cheating on her. After drinking heavily one night I blacked out, and convinced myself I’d cheated through false memories. Cheating is the worst thing in the world to me so why would I do it.

Do you guys sometimes think the WORST things? Like SO inappropriate. You know your family wouldn’t want you around or if they knew what you thought they would absolutely think you are sick and not want you to be around their kids or family? Idk I am really convincing myself I am not okay. And this isn’t OCD. I am so scared.

My mind is literally running around in circles over this…. Bit of a rant, so stay if you’re ready to read it…. Okay so bit of back story: in the past while I’ve been with my bf, before I had ocd, I used to basically “like” or react to whatever post/photo (to an extent) I do admit some things were like why tf would I even like that…. Anyway so even tho I never had any bad intentions I used to like whatever, and not think twice about it…. I’ve always had the rules/boundaries for my partner that if he sees a photo of a girl in a bikini to just scroll on and not like or react because even if he had no intentions it made me uncomfortable… which is a fair request not that he was the type of guy to do that anyway… a lot of time has passed by since back then & I developed ocd (mainly POCD, ROCD AND SEXUAL OCD) I took myself off social media Agers ago because of being triggered and it just filled my head with bullshit. But I’ve recently had the intrusive thought “what if one day if you go back on socials you come across a tik tokker I followed who I’ve looked up her onlyfans befroe in the past - not with intent - just out of curiosity but still massive regret” anyway - me and my partner had a convo because of this thought, even tho I know confessing doesn’t help, and he basically said to me even tho I don’t consider myself bi anymore since I’ve been with him because of my expectations of him (which is fair) then it should be the same for me, wether it’s a shirtless guy or a girl in a bikini I don’t know (unless she’s my friend) then It’s not okay for me to like - now I’m just pointing out that’s not an issue for me, even if I would never have any intent by liking some tik tok persons photos or something like that - he still wouldn’t ever have intent either and I wouldn’t ever want him doing something like that…. So since that point because he said to me don’t like photos of guys with their shirts off or girls you don’t know in a bikini, it’s sparked all these questions in my head like , “what if it was a girlfriend of mine with their bf at the beach, or what if it was a friend of his that I became friends with his gf and they posted a photo at the beach, what if it was a friend of mine who posted a photo of her and her friend at the beach, or what if it was a photo of my boyfriend with his mate but they were at the beach, what if an old friend died and someone posted something for them but they were in a swimsuit.” Anyway I know these things sound ridiculous but that’s what ocd is, it makes me question my own morals…. Because my brain is not logical - it’s hard for me to understand right from wrong cause for so long I’ve felt everything is wrong, and because of how I used to be I just used to think that liking certain photos was normal…. I sometimes depend on him to tell me what is okay or not because I don’t have that logical part of my brain working, anyway as you can imagine I’ve had all the “you would like this, you wouldn’t like that, maybe this maybe that” all that BS! Putting images in my head, confusing me so much… I would never want to do anything to disrespect my relationship or man. When I’ve tried to ask him these specific questions it has made him almost break up with me because he can’t handle hearing this stuff 24/7… all the hypothetical things that won’t happen etc. He refuses to read or listen to those questions about specifics which he is totally in the right about putting up boundaries - I just am confused because ocd tells me one thing while my heart says another…. I have thought to myself that I wouldn’t have worried if he ever liked a photo of one of our mates with his gf, because I knew there would be no intent; but he still just wouldn’t do that because the girl is in swimmers and he feels that is disrespectful to me or our relationship. And now it’s saying well you don’t think any of this is a big deal it’s been repeating that for so long…. Like when I’ve found out something is disrespectful to my partner and he has voiced if he wouldn’t do that then I shouldn’t either - then it’s obviously disrespectful to me because anything that he feels disrespected by obviously I think is bad too cause I never want to harm my relationship. It just keeps saying “you don’t think this is a big deal” putting all these different scenarios in my head… like I’m not trying to think that??? Just because I may not have seen things as a big deal back then, doesn’t mean I feel that way now, when I heard it from his perspective it made me think differently and think I should have the same expectations of myself that I do for him - that Is fair and equal! But then I just have these continuous things go through my head trying to make it seem like I want to do those things or something… making it seem like that I think “he shouldn’t care because I have no intent” like um hello??? I know he would never have intent but I know straight up certain things would make me uncomfortable if he liked it. He is aloud to care just like I care about him liking certain things - my rules should be the same as his, isn’t that fair??? He does have a point, tho im not anymore, but I used to identify or think i was a different sexuality until I met my man, I didn’t want to associate with that label again when we were together. So really it should be the exact same rules for me as it is for him… so why the fuck does it keep saying that I will do these things or want to do these things or don’t see them as problem? When I actually do now. Even if I had no intent it’s about not disrespecting my bf, he never has spoken up and said these things before so I never used to see an issue with liking anything back in the day but I just feel like my whole viewpoint has changed now. All it needs to come down to is that if someone is shirtless or it’s a girl I’m not friends with who has a bikini on or something along those lines, then I won’t press like, simple it should be, not so simple for my ocd brain 🧠 to understand, because it puts lots of different hypotheticals to make me doubt and question everything, I would never mean to do anything that would hurt him, or disrespect him but he’s actually verbally told me what he thinks is okay and not okay - I trust other people’s judgment more than my own because I have ocd. It’s not like “oh my boyfriend told me no but I still want these things or think it’s acceptable” it’s not like that at all, when your partner verbalises to you something makes them uncomfortable you should be respectful if you love them & I do love him so much… why is it so hard for my brain to understand I’ve had a change of opinion compared to what I thought was okay in the past…. He won’t answer my specifics so just to be safe even if I never had intentions I’m just not going to like anything that has a girl in a bikini (unless it’s my friend) or a guy that’s shirtless - because I now view that as not acceptable because of how he has put it to me…. Why does ocd torture people like this? It’s demanding I give it Answers, I literally was just crying and almost having a panic attack today saying “JUST STOP” over and over again while I showered. I almost lost my relationship today because I can’t stop confessing for almost 2 years. I have lost him before because of confessions constantly, he doesn’t deserve this as much as I don’t deserve to go through this either. Like I just don’t understand why it keeps saying “this isn’t a big deal to you” when it has become one, just because it may not have been in the past doesn’t mean I have that mindset now. F U OCD.

i’m having a hard time with the concept of people having soocd and it coming true. is it more likely for those with soocd to have their ocd fear come true than pocd? it’s so hard because people say ocd is ocd but then it seems like some themes can really manifest?